by Faith Gibson
Flipping onto his back, Andy covered his eyes with his forearm. The snip of Bryan’s bedroom door closing reached his ears. Had he just now gone to bed? Maybe he couldn’t sleep either and had jacked off to thoughts of Andy. No, he’d probably jacked off to the image of the blonde bimbo with the big breasts. Andy didn’t want to think about Bryan and Laurel together. He didn’t want to think about Bryan with anyone else. Andy wanted to be the one filling Bryan’s thoughts the way he did Andy’s.
Chapter Twelve
Bryan
If Bryan thought listening to Andy jack off was hot, seeing him fucking his own ass with a toy had his dick so hard he thought he was going to pass out. There wasn’t much light coming through the window from the full moon, but there was enough for Bryan to see Andy shoving a fake cock in and out of his ass. Bryan had never ventured to his hole when he masturbated. Brett had told him a long time ago if Bryan ever found someone to hit his prostate, they were a keeper.
As Andy moved the dildo in and out of his ass, Bryan’s dick pulsed against his zipper. It became so painful he unbuttoned his pants and lowered the zipper, giving his cock some relief. It wasn’t enough. Andy’s breathing was jagged as he pumped in and out of his ass with one hand and stroked his dick with the other. Bryan didn’t know where to look. Each movement was equally erotic. He palmed his own erection through his briefs, but it still wasn’t enough, so he slid his hand underneath the waistband and grabbed hold of the base, staving off an orgasm. The toy Andy was using was bigger than Bryan’s dick, but not by much. Being in the military, he’d seen all sizes when showering with his fellow Marines. Not that he’d really looked. But when men were naked and their junk was out there, it was inevitable to see them. Bryan’s dick was above average.
He knew he should walk away. Should give Andy the privacy he thought he had. Or maybe Andy didn’t care. Maybe he was into having someone watch him get off. Bryan knew there were those who liked to watch and those who liked to be watched. Since he couldn’t get his feet to move, he was obviously the former. The fact that Mal could come down the steps at any moment was also part of the thrill. Did Bryan want to be caught with his dick in his hand spying on his best friend? His dick pulsed in his hand, and Bryan had his answer.
When Andy asked him for a hug earlier, Bryan knew it was nothing more than his friend needing some comfort. But holding Andy in his arms, feeling his soft breath against his neck, tempted Bryan to pull back and kiss him. Taste his lips. Straddle Andy’s thigh and rub his cock against the strong muscles to show him how Bryan was really feeling. Instead, he allowed Andy to use him for whatever it was he’d been seeking.
Keeping his eyes on Andy’s ass being stretched, Bryan imagined it was his cock that was stretching Andy’s hole. Bryan didn’t understand his sudden infatuation with fucking another man. Yes, he’d thought about it before when he’d seen men in his platoon sneaking around, but it had never gotten him as hard as he was right then. Andy’s thrusts faltered, and he did his best to stifle a groan as his body shuddered through his orgasm. Bryan slipped quietly into the bathroom and shot his own load into the toilet, barely making it in time. He bit down hard on his bottom lip to keep from calling out. Goddamn, that was intense. If he came that hard from thinking about fucking Andy, he couldn’t imagine the real deal.
Bryan cleaned the jizz off his hand and the toilet seat where he’d missed. After washing his hands and brushing his teeth, Bryan walked as softly as possible back to his bedroom and eased the door closed. As much as being caught by Mal was a turn-on, the thought of Andy catching him wasn’t as exciting. Bryan felt guilty about invading Andy’s private moment, but the intensity of the orgasm was almost worth it. Fuck me.
Knowing sleep wouldn’t come anytime soon, Bryan did something he hadn’t done in months. He found the journal he’d started when he’d been out of the Corps for about a month. One of the counselors at the VA Center suggested writing. Not like a diary exactly, but just putting down whatever was going through his mind when sleep evaded him. He wasn’t supposed to read the words he penned. The therapy was in getting his emotions out of his head and onto paper. Bryan propped up against the headboard with his pillows behind him, opened the journal to the first blank page, and started writing. When he couldn’t hold his eyes open any longer, he saw that a couple of hours had passed, and he’d filled quite a few pages. Bryan closed the notebook and turned off the light. Sleep came easily at that point, and Bryan drifted off into an erotic dream involving a gorgeous blond built like a god.
Sunday was an easy work day. Mal and Andy saddled the horses, and Bryan loaded up on the four wheeler. He was glad to have the time to himself as well as the distance from Andy. Bryan was doing his best to think of anything except the scene that played out the night before and the dream that followed. Sporting a hard-on in front of Mal wasn’t the way he wanted to spend his day. Luckily, Mal had them giving shots to the cattle, and it was a good distraction. Bryan did his best to keep his eyes averted from the object of his dreams.
By the time they broke for lunch, Walt, Suzette, and Mal’s oldest niece were waiting at the house. Bryan had yet to meet Melanie, Mal’s sister. From what Mal said, her husband was a homophobic dick. Suzette was holding on to Mattie’s hand. If she let go, Bryan had no doubt the little girl would make a run for Mal. He could see the excitement on her face from where he was. Bryan parked the ATV beside the barn, while Andy and Mal tethered the horses to the fence. Mattie squealed, running toward Mal. The little girl launched herself at him, and he caught her, twirling her around.
“Uncle Mal! Yous really did get horses!”
“Hey, Munchkin, I really did.”
“Can I ride?” Matilda asked, swinging her feet in excitement. Before she could kick Mal in the nuts, he wrapped a strong arm around her legs.
“Yep. First, I want you to meet my new friends. This is Andy, and this is Bryan.”
“Andy looks like yous friend Cade. He’s pretty.”
Bryan laughed out loud until Andy put his hands on his hips and glared at him. That made him laugh louder. “Yeah, you’s pretty, Lily,” Bryan whispered.
Andy rolled his lips in to keep from laughing, but his bright eyes gave him away. When he was happy, they sparkled a lighter blue than normal. Bryan shouldn’t know that little fact, but from the day he met Andy, he’d vowed to keep that brightness there. When Andy told him what happened to him as a teenager, Bryan had wanted to hurt someone the way they hurt Andy. He wanted to do everything he could to make Andy happy. Make him forget the shitty way he’d been treated. Maybe that was why he couldn’t stop thinking about Andy in more than a platonic fashion.
Bryan turned back just in time to catch Matilda lunging toward him. He caught her and placed her on his hip the same way he’d done the twins so many times. “Hiya, beautiful.”
“I like you eyes.” Mattie traced her little finger over Bryan’s eyebrow and down his cheek. Bryan’s breath caught in his throat when she smiled at him. Even with a dickhead bigot for a father, this little girl didn’t care that Bryan was a mutation of ethnicities or that Mal and Andy were gay. She saw people the way everyone should – beautiful. While the twins made him not want kids of his own, Mattie had reached into his heart and grabbed hold.
Clearing his throat, Bryan said, “Thank you. I like yours, too.”
“Is you gonna ride horses with me and Uncle Mal?”
“I better stick to the four wheeler.”
“Okay.” Mattie gave him a kiss on his cheek then turned back to Mal, holding her arms out. “Uncle Mal, can we ride now?” Bryan had seen Mal smile when talking about Cade, but his niece clearly was the bright spot in his life.
“I think you got yourself a girlfriend,” Andy whispered.
“I’ll take her,” Bryan responded. If they could all be as sweet as this little girl, Bryan would have a houseful. The way she didn’t speak plainly was cute. Bryan hoped he got to see her quite a bit.
Mal handed Matilda back to Bryan. “He
re, Munchkin. Let Uncle Bryan hold you while I get Cochise ready.”
“Is you really my uncle?” she asked Bryan while Mal mounted the Paint.
“If you want me to be. Andy can be your uncle, too.”
“Gramma! Bryan’s my uncle! So’s Andy,” Matilda yelled to Suzette, even though the woman was standing a few feet away. Suzette and Walt were laughing. Bryan looked at a grinning Andy and winked. When Mal was ready, Bryan lifted Matilda up to him and headed back to the four wheeler.
“We won’t be gone too long, Ma.”
“Don’t you worry about us. Just take care of my girl.” Suzette’s smile was almost as big as Matilda’s.
Andy grabbed Bryan’s wrist and stopped him from getting on the ATV. “Since they’ll be riding slow, why don’t you try out Callie? I promise I won’t let anything bad happen.” Andy’s hand was warm against Bryan’s skin. It felt nice. Bryan was going to have to come to terms with his feelings sooner or later, but he couldn’t do it right then with people watching.
Seeing the sincerity in Andy’s eyes, he agreed, “Okay.”
Andy smiled and released his arm. He untied Callie from the fence and walked her over to where Bryan was waiting. “Hold the reins, put your left foot in the stirrup, and grab the horn like this.” Andy demonstrated slowly how to mount the animal. He just as easily slid off her back and handed the reins to Bryan. Andy held onto the bridle, making sure Callie stood still while Bryan mounted her for the first time.
When he was safely seated, Andy gave him instruction on how to hold and pull the reins, what gestures he could give with his legs, and how to stop. Andy let go, and Bryan gently nudged the horse with his heels. Callie began walking, and Andy directed Bryan to turn her left then right. When he had the hang of the basics, Bryan walked her farther away. He took deep breaths, doing his best to enjoy the ride. He’d never imagined riding a horse, but now that he was on one, he knew it was something he wanted to become proficient at. In the Marines, he’d commanded a team of men. His quiet disposition often fooled others into thinking he was laid back. He was for the most part, but Bryan could also be stern when the situation called for it.
He’d helped raise his brothers, so he knew how to take control of a situation with authority. That had gone a long way as a Marine in leading a platoon. Most of the time his orders had come from higher up, so he only had to pass the orders along. Rarely had he made ultimate decisions that could have cost his men their lives. That’s not to say they never found themselves in dangerous situations. Quite the opposite.
“Uncle Bryan! Yous riding, too!” Mattie shouted from across the field. Mal said something to her, and she clamped both hands over her mouth. Bryan couldn’t help but laugh. He turned Callie toward the other horse and met up with them.
“You sit a horse pretty good, Bryan. You sure you haven’t done this before?” Mal asked.
“I’m sure, but I figure if I’m gonna work on a farm, I better learn.”
“Callie there’s a pretty sweet girl. I don’t think she’ll give you any trouble.”
Bryan reached down and gave the horse a pat on her neck. She nodded her head as if she agreed. Mal turned Cochise back toward the barn, and Bryan followed along. He could already feel his thigh muscles tightening up. He would need to find some exercises to do to keep them from being too sore. An image of him lying on his back with his legs spread flashed through his mind. Andy was between Bryan’s thighs, pushing on them as he gave Bryan head. And now his dick was getting hard. Fuck.
Once they got back to the barn, Walt helped Mattie down from the horse. Andy took Cochise from Mal. Turning to Bryan, he said, “Bring Callie in here, and we’ll remove their tack.” Mal thanked Andy and followed his mom and Walt inside where they could visit. Bryan did as Andy instructed. They had both watched and listened to Mal the first day, and between the two of them, they did a good job of taking care of the horses, if Bryan did say so himself. There was something therapeutic about brushing Callie’s coat. Taking care of her. Bryan had taken care of his siblings, so it only made sense he’d be comfortable doing the same with an animal. Andy had horses when he was younger, but he’d had someone to do this part for him. Bryan shook his head when he thought of having someone to do the heavy lifting for you.
“What are you thinking so hard about over there?” Andy asked after he’d gotten Cochise inside the stall.
“I… it was nothing,” Bryan muttered. He didn’t want to tell Andy the truth.
“It had to be something; you were shaking your head.”
“I was thinking about you having servants and people to clean up after the horses, that’s all.”
“Does that bother you?” Andy asked, coming to take Callie from Bryan and moving her into her stall. Bryan was thankful for that. He didn’t want to be in the wrong spot and have the big animal step on his foot. He did pay attention to the way Andy moved the horse in a circle, making sure to stay out of her way.
When Andy was closing the stall door, Bryan answered. “No, just trying to imagine it is all. I knew how to wash clothes and clean house by the time I was ten. If I’d been any good in the kitchen, I would have learned how to cook, too. Thankfully, Bree was decent in the kitchen, so we didn’t starve. Brett and Bryce learned how to do all that stuff too, so when I joined the Marines, I knew it was okay to leave them.”
Andy leaned his back against the wood, knee bent with his foot resting against the door. He crossed his arms over his chest, showing off the bulge of his biceps beneath the tight sleeves of his T-shirt. His blond hair was covered by a black patrol cap. It had surprised Bryan when Andy put it on the first day they were working outside. It shouldn’t have, but Andy was so particular about his hair. Maybe that was only when he was going somewhere, or trying to impress someone. He’d taken his time primping before they went out to DWs on Friday, but he’d worn the military cap every day since they arrived at the farm. When Bryan looked up, he found Andy staring at him. Not his biceps or his mouth, but his eyes. He was frowning. Shit.
“I’d have given up the money and the servants to have the kind of mother you did. Just because we were rich didn’t mean my mom had to be so distant. I always thought it was because my father and grandfather were grooming me to take over the company. When she stood by and watched as they tossed me out on my ass, I knew she just didn’t love me. Christy’s parents had money, too, but her mom was like yours. She showed me more affection than my mother ever thought about.”
“I’m sorry, Andy. I wish you could have had a good one, too. But we have Suzette now. I know it’s not the same. She’ll never take away what your mom did to you, and she can’t replace mine, but I’m not going to push her away when she wants to show us affection. That would be like a hungry man throwing away a free hamburger.”
Andy smiled, but it was sad. “I’ve written so many letters to my mother. So many times I’ve written the words, asking her how she could do it, but I’ve never had the guts to mail them. When we had to write our letters to our family in case something happened to us, I addressed mine to Christy. In it, I thanked her for always being there for me, and I asked her to thank her parents. They were the reason I lived after I was… after… I knew the Corps would tell my folks if something happened, but I couldn’t find the words to tell them goodbye. They’d already told me goodbye the day they kicked me out.”
Bryan couldn’t stand the pain in Andy’s voice. He closed the short distance between them. As much as he wanted to reach out and pull Andy into his arms, Bryan leaned back against the door next to him. Right next to him. Their shoulders were touching, and hopefully Andy would feel the support from the gesture. Andy surprised him when he put his head on Bryan’s shoulder. Bryan leaned his head against Andy’s and let him talk.
“You’d think I’d be over that shit, you know? It happened over eight years ago. How fucking long does it take for that kind of hurt to go away?” Andy asked in a broken voice.
“I don’t know, Babe, I honestly don’t. M
y mom’s only been gone two years. The hurt has eased some, but I still miss her like crazy. I have to make myself remember she isn’t suffering. What hurts the most is she didn’t tell us. I didn’t get to say goodbye until after she was already gone. She looked so frail in that casket. She’d lost so much weight I barely recognized her. I don’t think there’s a time limit on pain. Everyone deals with shit in their own way and in their own time. Maybe you need to send your mother one of those letters. See if she responds. At least you’ll have tried. I’m no psychiatrist, but it doesn’t sound like you’ve had any closure.”
“You’re right, I haven’t. But what’s worse? Thinking she didn’t love me enough to stand up for me or knowing it? Because B, I don’t think I’d be able to handle knowing she never loved me.”
Bryan turned his face and kissed Andy over his cap. It was as natural as taking a breath. Oddly, his body wasn’t reacting the way it normally did. His dick was behaving, but they were having a deep, emotion-filled conversation. This was Bryan being there for his best friend, offering support. Andy pulled away, looking at Bryan. The question was there in his eyes. Bryan didn’t have the answer. Not yet anyway.
Matilda’s laughter rent the air, and Andy took a step backwards. With haunted eyes, he whispered, “Thanks, B.” Andy headed out of the barn, leaving Bryan to once again figure out what the fuck was going on in his head.
“You’re welcome, Lily,” Bryan said softly, watching Andy’s retreating form. Callie stuck her head over the door and nipped at his shirt. Bryan turned around and gave the horse some love between her eyes. “Why does shit have to be so complicated?” he asked the animal. Callie shook her head, her mane tousling side to side. “You don’t know either, huh?” Bryan felt at ease alone in the barn. The voices of his new family along with the occasional bird calling out or cow mooing in the pasture were the only sounds on the farm. Bryan closed his eyes and let the peacefulness wash over him.
