by Cara Wylde
Valentina cocked an eyebrow but didn’t say anything. It wasn’t her place to judge, and she was happy that Piper was nowhere around. As much as she loved her friend and appreciated her support, Piper didn’t fully understand how the magic world worked. Not yet. A hobgoblin was never just a hobgoblin, just like a witch was never just a witch, and this Antiquarian was more than an Antiquarian, for sure. And, oh! Gods! The last think she needed was to deal with gods, and that was exactly what she’d have to do soon. A god was never just a god.
She drew the cards one by one and placed them on the table, face up. Some were upright, others were reversed. Once again, the Hermit came up to represent the Antiquarian. He was a Hermit, all right. With the Four of Cups before and the King of Cups reversed after, Val could tell he hadn’t always been this way, and he would change in the near future, albeit not in the direction he probably expected. Two more Major Arcana cards – the High Priestess and the Devil reversed, – and the rest were Minor Arcana. Something was missing. Valentina hesitated for a second, then mumbled a quick chant under her breath and shuffled again. She drew the Lovers. Tristan waved at her, and Iseult gave her a sweet smile. Val stole a glance at the Antiquarian, but he didn’t seem surprised that the characters in some of the cards were moving. He’d either known all along, or he figured it out when Magny showed her the book and she asked to buy it. Either way, she would have loved to know his identity, too.
“You refused her once,” she started. “No, you refused her more than once.” She pointed at the Four of Cups. “You were in love with her and she was in love with you but, for some reason, you didn’t want to commit. Maybe you didn’t understand her. Who she was, what she wanted, the life she led... She’s the High Priestess, the one who’s seen what’s behind the veil of this world and now protects that second reality with her very being. She’s the one who lives in both places at once, here and there. She is in this world but not of this world, although I feel like she used to be once, way before meeting you. She lives by her heart and intuition. And you... you were just a young boy who knew nothing about life, love, hope, or sacrifice. You took what she had to give, and when she asked you to give back, you pretended like you didn’t know her, like she was asking for too much and she was the problem. You convinced her that you could live without her if she left. So, she left.”
Valentina stopped when she realized the old man was crying. She bit the inside of her cheek and averted her gaze, trying to give him some space and privacy. He was weeping silently, covering his face with a trembling hand. After a few long minutes, he took a deep breath, nodded as if to say that he was fine, and motioned for her to go on.
“The Hermit is who you are now. You regretted your decision and called her back,” she pointed at the Nine of Swords and the Eight of Cups reversed. “You tried to move on, you couldn’t, but once again, when she returned, you didn’t have the strength and conviction to commit. So, she left again. This time, it was permanent. The Five of Pentacles tells me you looked for her all your life, until you were so ill and so tired that you couldn’t look anymore. The Four of Swords here... I don’t know. It looks like a death bed to me.”
The Antiquarian sighed heavily. “You’re a talented reader.” He smiled bitterly. “Everything you said is exactly how it happened. I searched for my one true love until my body collapsed and my soul was knocking on Death’s door. She came to me then, but she’d changed. It was too late, she said. I didn’t want to join her when I was twenty and young and full of life, I didn’t want to join her when I was thirty and still handsome and healthy, and now I wanted to join her when I was ninety-three. Old, ugly, with barely any hair left on my head, and only two stray teeth to chew my food.”
Valentina shook her head. “It had nothing to do with your age and how you looked.” She pointed at the Ten of Swords. “She felt betrayed. You had hurt her so much, not once, but twice, and now you wanted her back and she was afraid she would get hurt again.”
The Antiquarian took the High Priestess card and stared longingly at it for a minute.
“Do you want to know who she is? Do you want to know who I am now? Aside from an old, sad, and wrinkled hermit who buries himself in dust, cobwebs, and books.”
Val nodded, careful not to show too much eagerness. The reading wasn’t finished, and there were still a couple more cards to address, but as a witch and a tarot reader, she knew how important it was to those she read for to use the sacred space she created to be themselves and talk about their feelings, wounds, and deepest fears.
The old man pulled a photo out of the breast pocket of his vest. He showed it to Valentina and smiled when she looked surprised.
“Beautiful, isn’t she?”
“Inhumanly beautiful...”
“She’s been like this for over three hundred years.”
“Vampire.” When he smiled and nodded, she added: “And you.”
“Yes. I met her when I was nineteen and she was, well, way older than me. We fell in love, spent every waking moment together, and after two years, she told me her secret. No wonder she felt betrayed then. Even though it was clear to me that she was telling the truth, I was in denial. I grew up in a religious family, you know. On the one hand, creatures like her weren’t supposed to exist in my world. On the other hand, if they did... and they did... I couldn’t become one of them. She wanted to turn me so we could spend eternity together, but it was a sin. How could it be anything else? Against God’s will. The only God’s will.” He laughed. “I didn’t know back then that there was more than one god. So, I broke her heart, she left, and I spent the next ten years trying to forget her and live my life like my parents told me I was supposed to live it. Until I couldn’t take it anymore. The bleakness of it, the meaninglessness... I started looking for her when I turned thirty-four. Or thirty-five?” He waved dismissively as if he was way past accuracy. “And she came. My sweet, kind, beautiful Giulia came. She gave me a second chance, and after a few months together, I bailed again. This time, not because I thought it was a sin, but because I was afraid. Eternal life. To see everyone I loved grow old and die, to be forced to leave my home and my friends before they figured out I had changed... I couldn’t take it. She left for good. I immediately realized my mistake and went looking for her, turned Italy and then Europe upside down to find her, then crossed the Atlantic, saw the wonders of the New World, searched for her in all of Asia, even went to Siberia. My Giulia didn’t want to be found. Old and exhausted, I retired to Rome to spend the last years of my life with the few friends I still had. I got sick, spent months in a hospital so filthy that it only made me sicker, and when I was finally ready to give my last breath, she came to me. In the middle of the night, she came to my death bed and offered me the kiss of eternity. That was the only time in my life when I should have said no. I don’t know what happened... I guess I was scared, terrified of death, of nothingness... She spent a year teaching me how to be a vampire, how to adapt to my new nature and not let it take over me, and when I was capable of taking care of myself, she left again and promised we would see each other from time to time. But we couldn’t be together. She comes by the shop every ten years or so. I miss her dearly, but I understand why she can’t stay.” He wiped a tear off his cheek. “She still looks like in this picture. As fresh as a spring flower. And I... I look like this.” The distaste in his voice was heartbreaking. “It was all my own doing. So, tell me, young Keeper of the Spades, will Giulia and I ever be together again?”
Valentina dragged in a deep breath and held it for a second. She tried to smile and look positive, but it was hard when the cards weren’t very favorable. The King of Cups and the Devil, both reversed, were giving her chills up the spine.
“I’m not going to lie to you,” she started, “I see a lot of codependency, even addiction, here. Instead of breaking the invisible chains that are holding you back, trapped in the past and daydreaming about what could have been, I feel like in the future you’re just going
to sink even deeper. This King, in reversed position, speaks of emotional distress, emotional manipulation, and the inability to take your power back and keep your own feelings under control.” She stole a glance at the old man and bit her lower lip when she saw how disappointed he looked. “You should take it as a warning, though. The future is not set in stone. Now that you know where you’re headed, all you need to do is make... well... different choices. With the Devil, I feel like you’re aware of your situation. You’re aware that even though you’re free, freer than any human could ever be, you constantly choose to stay where you are and wait for her. Wait for her forever. I know that you love her,” Valentina’s voice took a gentle, compassionate note, “but I fear that it’s turned into more than love. It’s turned into a sort of... oh, I hate to say this!”
The Antiquarian smiled his hollow, empty smile. “I can take it, bambina.”
“Addiction. Obsession.” She grabbed the Lovers so quickly and harshly that she gave Iseult a bout of nausea. Tristan caught her before she fainted. “You’re meant to be together. Your love goes beyond time and space. The Lovers is about soul mates, karma, passion... the kind of love that lasts forever and is not encumbered by the passing of time, the movement of dimensions, by age, looks, by human and non-human rules. You know what?” Her heart was beating fast, and her hands were starting to sweat. Should she say it? Should she not? An invisible poke in the ribs meant her Higher Self was with her on this one. No, she wasn’t wrong. It was her intuition speaking, and it would have been a shame not to listen to her intuition and give this despairing man some hope. “You know what? I believe that if there’s one thing you can count on is that yes, you will be together one day. Forever. Like Tristan and Iseult, like Eros and Psyche.” She would have given more examples, but she didn’t know who the Lovers in the other three copies were. “But you have to remember what you felt for Giulia when you were young, and carefree, and innocent. You have to go back to that feeling of deep, passionate, and true love that was not burdened and spoiled by the heaviness and urgency of obsession and possessiveness. Trust. That’s what you need, that’s your solution. Trust that you can, and you will, function without her, and trust that she will come to you when the time is right. Trust in the love you share, and it will all fall into place.”
There was silence for a long while. Valentina felt exhausted. That last part had been so taxing, and now the voice in her head was giggling like mad, for completely mysterious reasons, and she felt like she hadn’t slept in ages. Suddenly, all she wanted was to get out of there, walk back, no!, run to the B&B, and sleep until both her body and mind screamed “no more!” Oh, how she wished she had packed some valerian root!
“Thank you,” the Antiquarian whispered. “I believe you. And I think you’re right.” He stood up and made his way back to the counter. “You can have the book. And Il Folletto.”
“I don’t...” She gave up and gathered her cards. If no one wanted to understand that she didn’t want a pet hobgoblin, then that was their problem. She followed him to the front of the shop and nodded at Piper. “Just one more thing... Maybe you can help me. You don’t happen to have some valerian root lying around, do you?”
The old man laughed out loud. “Ha! As if someone like me would have sleeping pills. What a joke!”
“Figures...”
“I can buy you some valerian root, milady,” Magnus offered.
Valentina rolled her eyes. “At this hour? No, nevermind. I’ll manage without.” She shook the Antiquarian’s hand and winced on the inside when he held her there for a second longer, and the iciness of his cold, pale vampire hand seeped under her skin and made its way right to her heart. It struck her then. This man, with his two lonely canines... he fed on warm blood. “Thank you so much for the book,” she said. “We’re leaving now.”
“Come visit anytime you like.”
Valentia nodded, smiled, and motioned for Piper to follow her quickly.
“What was that?” the blonde asked, confused.
“Nothing. It’s just late and I’m dead tired.” She realized Piper didn’t know what the Antiquarian was. It was better not to tell her just yet.
“My old man there is a vampire, and your friend just freaked out.”
Valentina jumped like she’d just stepped on burning coals, and knocked the hobgoblin off her shoulder. Taken by surprise, Magnus didn’t have time to poof himself to safety, so he ended up on the pavement, on his back, with a throbbing head and a sprained wrist. He started cursing in a language so old and out of this world, that neither Valentina, nor Piper could guess what it was, or even whether it was similar to anything spoken on Earth.
“I said no!” Valentina yelled at the creature. “No, no, no. No means no!”
The hobgoblin got up, dusted off his clothes, and took a couple of deep breaths before looking up at Valentina and giving her a forced, fake smile.
“Keeper, do you know what your problem is?”
“Oh, I got so many problems right now, and you’re not going to be one of them.”
Piper giggled. “I got ninety-nine problems, but a hobgoblin ain’t one.” She swayed her hips. “Still got the swag, yeah.”
Valentina blinked in confusion, and for once, Magnus seemed to agree with her.
“You’re constantly fighting your destiny,” he said, completely ignoring the blonde. “If you want to save the Major Arcana, then you need all the help you can get. You need me.”
“I don’t need you. And I don’t believe in destiny, okay? We make our own destiny.”
Magnus laughed so loud that both Piper and Valentina startled at the strange, shrill sound rolling out of his tiny mouth. It echoed down the winding alley, and Val was worried it would alert the stray cats, or dogs, or whatever stray things roamed the streets of Castelluccio at night.
“What’s so funny?”
The hobgoblin stopped. His demeanor changed so drastically that Piper thought he was surely bi-polar.
“You are. I know you can’t see it now,” he pointed, again, between his thick brows, “but you’re swimming in your own destiny, Keeper. It’s like an endless sea. You’ve lived for so long inside its depths that you’ve grown mental gills and got used to it. You don’t see it for what it is. I’m not saying you’re wrong. Sure, we each make our own destiny, but not you. Not yet. You need to reach the surface and realize you’ve been drowning all along, first.”
Valentina was speechless. Fortunately, Piper still had her wits about her.
“All right. Prove it. You say you can help us, so prove it right now. We have to find the gods of the Major Arcana and the painter of souls.”
Magnus rolled his eyes. “That’s easy. The first step, at least.” He poofed back up on Valentina’s shoulder, as if he’d forgotten that was exactly the spot where he wasn’t welcome. “Did you know you have a name and a phone number written on the underside of your arm?”
Val was getting ready to swat him again.
“No, just check it. No! The other arm. Yeah.”
“What the...? It wasn’t there before.”
“It’s been there for a long time. Years. You just couldn’t see it.”
“I... but why? What’s it written in? Invisible ink?” She read the name out loud. “Loki?!”
“There you go. Your first god. Call him and see if he wants to join our cause.” Magnus chuckled.
Piper grabbed Val’s arm and stared at the red numbers and letters like she’s just discovered the code of the Universe itself and it was up to her to decipher it.
“If it’s here, written on my arm... Does this mean I met him before? Does this mean he put it there?” Val felt like she was losing it. “No, no... this isn’t making any sense. Loki? The Norse God of Mischief? Not possible.”
Piper looked up at her, a large smile on her face. “You should call the number. Right now.”
“No.” Valentina pulled her arm free, turned away, and started walking brisk
ly toward the B&B. “I need sleep. I need to rest, think clearly, start acting like myself. This is getting out of hand.” She winced when Magnus grabbed onto her hair to keep himself from falling off her shoulder. “You! If you’re coming with us, then you need to make yourself useful.”
“I’m already useful!” the hobgoblin whined.
“You said you can get me some valerian root.”
“On it, Keeper!” And he poofed into nothingness.
“Where do you think he went?” Piper was trying to keep up with Val.
“I don’t know, and I don’t care.”
“You know... you really are very mean to him. He just wants to help. And I like to make fun of him, too, but only because he’s so adorable.”
Val stopped and turned to look her friend in the eye. “Pipes, you don’t know anything about hobgoblins. I do. Not much, but enough. His kind act like they’re oh-so-nice and helpful, like they want to save the world or something, but they always have a secret agenda. Always. Why do you think the Antiquarian was so eager to get rid of Magnus Luchtar?”
“Err... I don’t know...”
“Me neither. But I’m sure it wasn’t because Magnus was such a huge help around the shop. Never trust semi-slugs and hobgoblins. That’s what my father always says.”
“Semi-slugs?!”
Valentina was already walking even faster than before. “Story for another time.”
CHAPTER NINE
“I’m not calling anyone! Stop pestering me!” Valentina yelled at Piper and Magnus as she turned another page in I misteri degli Arcani. But neither her friend, nor the hobgoblin would have it. If she hadn’t slept so well after Magny had brought her the strongest valerian root he could find, Val would have kicked them both out of the room. “I’m going to read this book and figure it out myself.”
“But the phone number, Val!” Piper insisted. “It’s there for a reason.”
Val shook her head. “I don’t want to hear about it. I can’t remember how it got there, and no matter how hard I scrubbed it with water and soap, it wouldn’t come off. I don’t trust this kind of magic.”
