by Cara Wylde
Loki’s expression turned from amused to serious in the blink of an eye. He wiggled himself out from between the wall and her body, and started back to the church. Not that he minded the position itself, but she was too impatient and obsessed with the mission she’d set up for herself to look sexy and enticing to him. He’d always liked Valentina De Rossi. Had always been drawn to her. Even from the first moment he’d met her on these very streets, on a rainy day, when all the tourists were too busy stuffing themselves into shops and restaurants to watch him perform his card tricks. She had been different then. Innocent and lost. A sort of a damsel in distress. She’d changed, and he had to admit he’d felt it on Mount Shasta and in the cave, too. He’d been fooling himself all along thinking that the girl walking beside him was the same Valentina.
“What just happened?” She ran after him. “Did I say something wrong? But I didn’t. You know exactly why I’m here. At this point, you’re the only one who can help me. Please, take me to the painter.”
“I will. Let’s find your friend and your hobgoblin.”
“Magny is not my hobgoblin!” She shook her head, realizing how stupid it was to argue about that. Nonsense. “Okay, thank you. The painter is all I need. And then...”
“And then you’ll find yourself another Loki.”
“What?” She stopped dead in her tracks. “What does that mean?”
He rolled his eyes and turned to look at her. “You’ve come all this way, so yeah, I will help you with the pittore di anime. It will give you as good a start as any. Then, you’re on your own. Seeing how determined and independent you are, you’ll do just fine.”
“I don’t understand. You said you’re one of them. You could help me with one card, at least. I mean... not help me, help the original tarot. If I... If we fail now, you know the consequences. Without the tarot, the world... the humans...”
Loki waved her off. “The beauty of being a god is that I don’t have to concern myself with these things.”
“So, you don’t care?”
“Not at all. I never cared.”
“Then why... Why did you ask me to come here? Why did I have your number written on my arm?”
“You came to me first. And I happened to find you cute then.”
He resumed walking, albeit slower this time. Valentina caught up with him.
“I didn’t come to you first,” she said.
“You’re funny.”
“No, really.” She grabbed him by the arm. When he flexed his biceps under the pressure of her fingers, a jolt of electricity ran through her body and settled low in her stomach. She didn’t let go. “This is so confusing. I don’t know how I got your number. I don’t remember. We’ve never met before. I mean... face to face. In the astral plane and in my dreams doesn’t count. In 3D, I’ve never met you before, or I don’t remember. I promise you I’m telling the truth.”
Her intuition had been right. When Loki looked down at her, she could see that he finally believed her. All this time, he’d probably thought she was just playing games with him.
“You honestly don’t remember?”
“No. I might have... flashes? Like, when you asked me to choose a card, I felt like you’d asked me before. But that’s all. Déjà vu. It’s been happening a lot lately. But I don’t know what to make of it.”
“You don’t know what to make of it,” he repeated thoughtfully.
They stayed like that for a minute, Loki looking at her as if he was seeing her with new eyes, and Valentina biting the inside of her lower lip obsessively. If he weren’t a goddessdamn god, she would have put a sigil or two on that sexy third chakra of his – A.K.A. his perfectly kissable Adam’s apple – and made him talk. Easy peasy. He would have told her everything he knew in minutes, and then a Sweetening Chant would have convinced him to help her with the particular card he represented. What was that card, anyway?
“You’re thinking of casting a spell on me.”
He smirked, and Valentina felt weak in the knees. Not because of that stupid sexy smirk, no. Because he’d figured her out.
“N-no. I’d never.”
“It wouldn’t work. I’m a god, remember?”
“I’m pretty sure some powerful witches can cast spells and curses on gods and goddesses. That’s what I heard, at least. Or read. I might have read it somewhere.” Right, in her mother’s spell book. She really shouldn’t have gone through her things. Loki just smiled. “What are you thinking?”
“Isn’t that the oldest question in the world?”
She blushed. Yes, it was. Between couples, mostly. What was wrong with her? “Oh, well... I guess no one can blame you,” the voice in her head whispered. “Aren’t all mortals supposed to lose their head around a god?” Instead of taking her seriously, Valentina thought how strange it was that her Higher Self’s voice sounded so soft and subtle for the first time in forever. It was usually raging in her head, not whispering delicately.
“I’ll do you one better: what is she thinking?”
Val blinked in confusion. She looked around to see whether he was referring to some girl who’d just passed them by. The street was oddly deserted.
“Who?”
Loki tapped her right on top of the head. “You know who I mean.”
“Err...” Val cocked her head to the side. “Did you just read my mind?”
“Don’t be silly. I can’t read minds in this human form.” He sighed. The more he looked at her, the more he believed she was a lost cause. Getting involved seemed too messy for him. Human drama. That was the last thing he needed. He’d reincarnated as a human to eat junk food, drink champagne, and shag all the pretty girls he could get his hands on, not to help a ditz of a witch find her own head and then figure out what was really inside it.
“I can see it in your eyes.” There was a mix of sadness and resignation in Val’s voice. “With every minute, you’re changing your mind more and more. And I don’t know what to say to convince you to help me. More than just by taking me to the pittore di anime, I mean.”
“You’re right. You don’t know what to say.”
“You’re losing him,” her Higher Self hissed at her.
“And what would you have me do?!” Valentina shot back.
“Don’t you ever get tired?” Loki asked. “Of all the yelling and commotion in your head?”
Valentina felt her pulse begin to elevate. That was it. She was tired of his games and allusions. If he wasn’t going to be straightforward and tell her what he clearly knew and she didn’t, then she didn’t need him after all. She didn’t need him at all. As she pushed past him and started walking briskly to the central square to find Piper, she felt so ridiculous and bi-polar, but she didn’t care. She’d always known gods would be more trouble than they were worth it. Interestingly enough, she felt like her Higher Self was pulling her back. The stab in her left side felt like more than a stab. It felt like a hook had clasped around one of her ribs, and the more she pushed forward, the more it pulled her back, threatening to rip her rib out of her body. She grunted and doubled over, tears running down her cheeks.
“What the hell is going on?” she mumbled.
“Sorry, sister,” her Higher Self said. “I don’t like it, either, but it’s worse for me if you leave than if you stay.”
And that was when Valentina was finally ready to admit the strong, uncanny connection between the voice in her head and the pain in her left side. Deep down, she’d known it all along, but now it couldn’t be denied anymore. It was so clear and so mindbogglingly real that she couldn’t lie to herself like she’d done until this very moment. And she hated it. She hated the implications it came with.
Valentina realized she’d fallen to her knees, holding her side, only when Loki wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her up. She leaned against him and allowed him to half-carry her to the nearest bench. As he sat her down, she was still weeping silently, cradling her ribs even though the pai
n had subsided the moment he’d touched her.
“You have to tell me,” she cried. “You have to tell me everything. When did I come to you? When did we first meet? Why did you write your number on my arm? And how do you... Oh, Goddess! I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud! How do you know that she is not me?” She looked up into his eyes, her own so blue and bright with salty tears. “Who is she? And why does she hurt me so much?”
Loki let out a deep, heavy sigh. Stupid. Not even a Trickster like him could stand to see a woman cry. He’d been avoiding human drama successfully for over a thousand years, and here he was. Again.
“If I tell you, will you stop crying?”
Even though Valentina felt like crying harder at his cold remark, she nodded and wiped off her tears.
“All the answers to your questions are here,” he pocked her in the temple, “if you’d just remember the Test.”
“The Test? Like... the Test every witch has to pass to become a Keeper of her coven?”
“That one!”
Val furrowed her brows in concentration. “Sure I remember it. I did everything I was supposed to do, the way I was supposed to. I went through all the cards of my suit, passed their tests, reached the King, and got the highest score.” She smiled dreamily. “The High Keeper herself told me many times after I had become a Keeper in my own right that I was the most promising witch of my coven.”
“And that’s all you remember?”
There was a hint of sarcasm in Loki’s voice that made Val’s blood pressure rise again.
“Yes. What else is there to remember? The Test is the same for everyone. All that differs is how you make it through it.”
Loki laughed, but this time his laughter held no real joy.
“And you’re saying you’ve been having flashes. Of memories that you don’t remember making.”
“Yeah...”
Loki crossed his arms over his chest and placed his right ankle square on his left knee, adopting a position of forced nonchalance.
“If you were to treat these as symptoms, what would they indicate?”
Valentina covered her face with her hands and moaned in distress.
“Memory loss,” she said.
“Try again.”
“Memory loss spell.”
“Bingo!”
“I hate you...”
“You wanted answers. And the truth. Don’t hate on the messenger.”
She took a minute to compose herself. She cleaned her face with the sleeve of her blouse as best as she could, and pulled her long, disheveled hair away from her face. Too many strands had escaped the loose ponytail.
“Who made me forget?”
“I think you know already.”
“My entire life, I believed that she was my Higher Self. That’s how it works. Everyone has one. That voice in your head... Witches know how to use it better than humans. Okay, okay... Now I’m willing to entertain the idea that she’s not my Higher Self. Then, who is she? And where is my Higher Self?”
“Only entertain the idea?” He chuckled.
“Humor me.”
“That’s why she made you forget, love. Because you discovered who she is during the Test. And if you know who she is, then her power over you diminishes.”
“What happened during the Test? What is it that I can’t remember?” She felt a slight pang of pain in her left side, and winced, which didn’t go unnoticed. Loki placed a hand on her arm, and the pain went away. “How do you do that?”
“She’s more silent when I’m around, isn’t she? Can’t hurt you as much.”
“What happened during the Test?”
“It’s easier to give you back your memories than to explain.”
“You can do that?”
“I’m a street magician, aren’t I?”
He started whispering a string of words under his breath, in a language that Valentina couldn’t place, then he drew three sigils in the air and pushed them into her Third Eye Chakra, which was right between her eyes. A rush of images flooded her mind, and she closed her eyes to contain them and force them to flow at a pace she could keep up with. She stayed like that for more than half an hour, observing her past self from the outside, reliving the Test she’d taken three years before, when she was only eighteen, but in a completely different and unexpected way. She hadn’t gone through the cards of the Suit of Spades at all. She hadn’t passed the Test. She’d cheated, and the only reason why Alexander had allowed it was because, at the end, she had stepped into his throne room through the Door of the Gods. And the King of Swords couldn’t deny the will of the gods. Not even when he didn’t know what that will was. Door after door after door... She’d met so many... men? They were more than just men. And Loki was one of them. On a deserted street, on a rainy day... “Pick a card, love.” His hand on her wrist as he wrote down a name and a phone number, and then she was whooshed to another place, another time, another dimension.
Valentina opened her eyes and whispered:
“Ravenna.”
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Valentina blinked once. Twice. It was hard to focus. Too many thoughts, images, and remnants of memories were running through her head. Loki had helped her found Piper and the hobgoblin, and now they were in a small café, sitting at the most isolated table they could find. She looked at her plate and felt herself gag, so she pushed it away and turned to the side. Loki was stuffing his face with the third club sandwich, Piper was chewing slowly as she was staring at him in pure wonder, and Magny was practically bathing in hot chocolate. They were all so disgusting. How could they eat now? She almost felt betrayed.
“Can you order another one, Pipes?” When Piper didn’t respond, the hobgoblin furrowed his brows and pulled harshly at her sleeve. “Earth to Piper Chase! Can you order me another hot chocolate?”
“What? Okay...”
“Make it white, this time.”
Distractedly, Piper waved at the waiter, and when he approached their table, she ordered black chocolate. Magny mumbled something offensive under his breath, but she ignored him. Who cared about a hobgoblin when there was an actual god sitting next to her?! Magical eyes and the ability to poof from one place to another? Silly tricks. As she stared and stared at Loki’s noble, handsome profile, she wondered what he could do. Maybe he could fly... No, Valentina could fly, too. Okay, she could float. If a witch could do it, then it should have been too easy for a god. Maybe he could turn invisible. Or, or... maybe he could move objects with his mind!
Loki cocked an eyebrow and stole a side glance at the petite blonde. She had her pretty mouth open, the sandwich forgotten in a precarious hold somewhere between the plate and her lips. Humans never ceased to fascinate him. As for witches... Valentina De Rossi was looking out the window, lost in her own world. Both her food and coffee were untouched. Her small, dainty hands were squeezed into tight fists in her lap, her narrow shoulders were tense, and her hair covered half of her gorgeous face. He sighed almost imperceptibly. Well, not imperceptibly enough for her friend to miss it, but he didn’t care. The witch was beautiful. Long, black hair, blue eyes, pale skin... Tall, slender, yet curvy in all the right places. Why did it have to be a witch? Couldn’t he have gotten a boner for a normal human, like he’d been doing for the past thousand years or so? Human women were cute and delicious. Fragile, too. Like chocolate Easter bunnies melting and crumbling in his hands, revealing there had never been anything of substance inside. He liked it that way. Valentina... Valentina... There was a whole ‘nother world inside her. She wasn’t an Easter bunny. She was a damn Matryoshka doll! He stuffed the last half of his club sandwich in his mouth, barely able to chew. He watched Valentina rummage through her backpack and pull out a pen and a small notebook that was already filled with her tiny writing.
“What are you doing?” he asked, a few crumbs of bread falling on the table as he struggled to speak.
Val shot him an annoyed glance, then pro
ceeded to ignore him as she started scribbling away.
Piper was now staring at the crumbs, in utter fascination. Those crumbs had been in a god’s mouth. Maybe she should pick them up and keep them? She shook her head. No. Stupid. What was wrong with her? She remembered she had her own sandwich, and she took a bite. Watching Loki and Val dancing around each other like school kids was better than the movies. She wondered whether they had popcorn here. No, it was a café. Stupid Pipes. Now she craved popcorn.
“I can get you popcorn,” Magny whispered, pulling at her sleeve to get her attention.
“What’s on your face?” Piper reached for a napkin, but it was too late. The hobgoblin had already made the chocolate stains magically disappear. She rolled her eyes. “Stay out of my head.”
“Sorry. It’s so easy with Ordinaries...”
“I’m trying to write down as much as I remember about the other gods,” Valentina finally explained to everyone. Piper and Magny had been filled in on the way to the café, and now she was going through the story one more time, in her head. “They didn’t want to tell me who they are. Maybe just one of them... I’m so confused.” She rubbed her temple, then went back to scribbling. “All right, I was... in a tall building. A skyscraper, in New York City. There was this man, and he was talking to another man, but he saw me. Even though I was in my etheric form, he saw me, which means he’s one of the gods we need to recreate the Trionfi Chiari.”
Piper finished her sandwich. For the first time that day, Valentina was starting to be more interesting than Loki.
“What else do you remember?”
“Err... he had a painting on the wall. A seascape. And his name, his human name...” She squeezed her eyes shut. “Jove. Gideon Jove.” She smiled brightly. “This one is easy. I know who he is.”
“Jove as in Jupiter,” said Magny. “The Roman god of the sky and thunder, the King of the Gods.”
“Exactly!” Val pointed the pen at the hobgoblin, and the tiny creature took a step back. “That’s why he must be the Emperor.” She wrote that down. “Jupiter is the Emperor. Now we just have to find him.”
