But his eyes said what his words didn’t. She was fully to blame.
She stared into his face as she lay there feeling helpless.
Helpless and guilty.
“She shouldn’t have been hurt,” she said quietly.
“No, but she was, so we have to deal with it.” He didn’t say as much, but he put the blame on her, as he should.
Tears welled up in her eyes once more. She’d tried to make this marriage work, but she’d let her husband down tremendously. And his daughter. His poor little girl would be maimed for life because of her stupidity.
She rolled away from him and let her tears flow. Before she knew it, she was sobbing uncontrollably.
Charlotte felt his hands go up around her, ever so gently. He turned her to face him. “Honestly, Charlotte, Emma is going to be alright. You heard the doc, a few weeks and the splint can come off.”
But it didn’t dissolve her feelings of guilt. “It’s my fault!” The words were screamed, when she’d meant to say them quietly.
She felt him pull back quickly and turned to see his expression. It was shock.
For what felt like hours, but was really only minutes, he sat there staring at her. Then he shook his head, as if to clear his mind. Finally, he spoke. “How is it your fault,” he asked quietly.
Another sob escaped her. “I’ll leave, if that’s what you want.”
His eyes opened wide. “Why on earth would I want you to leave, Charlotte? What did you do?” She saw the pained expression on his face, and just wanted to run. As far away as she could get. But a part of her also wanted to stay.
She was falling in love with her husband and didn’t want to leave him.
Her answer was so quiet she barely heard it herself. “I let go of her hand.”
Before she knew what was happening, he scooped her up in his arms and held her tight. He didn’t say a word, just sat there on the bed, and held her in his arms. “That’s not your fault, Charlotte,” he said quietly. “Children do such things.”
“But I should have held her tightly.” Tears streamed down her face.
He stared at her for long moments, then kissed her gently. “I’ll hear none of this. Emma’s injury is not your fault.”
She swallowed hard. “So you don’t hate me?” She stared at him, waiting to find out if she was to be banished.
“Hate you? Are you serious?” He glanced at her then looked away. “I could never hate you,” he said quietly, then stormed out of the room, leaving Charlotte in his wake.
* * *
Angus left the room quickly. He couldn’t stay in there another moment.
Seeing the torture on her face was agonizing. Blaming herself and putting herself through all that distress was almost the end of him. His heart was breaking.
He was a big strong man, but he nearly broke down in front of her, and that wouldn’t do.
His darling Charlotte.
What did he do to deserve such a wonderful wife?
He loved Sarah, he really did, but he now knew it was not in the same way he loved Charlotte.
The moment he’d touched her at the railway station, when he’d lifted her onto the wagon, he felt the connection. They were meant to be. He wondered if she felt it too.
The way she stared into his face when he lifted her off the wagon, the way she pulled her hand back quickly when he touched her.
He always felt a ding when he touched her and wondered if she did too.
And the way she never resisted but instead leaned into him whenever he pulled her close.
There was a definite connection, he was certain of it.
It had been a massive change for both of them.
For him, it was bringing a stranger into his life, especially when getting a mail order bride was totally about bringing his daughter back home. But he had been willing to risk it.
For her, moving to a strange town, to an unknown home, and an equally unknown husband. All of which meant being far away from her family.
He appreciated all she’d been through these past months and wondered if they would endure for years to come.
He certainly hoped so. Even in this short time, he’d come to love Charlotte dearly.
* * *
It had been difficult for Charlotte, making the move to Dayton Falls. Effectively running away from home.
And to discover Angus had a daughter she was expected to raise? That was a huge shock.
But she’d managed.
Now she was suddenly plunged into desperation. Dear little Emma was in a splint and couldn’t get around.
Desperate times called for desperate measures, and Charlotte couldn’t leave the child inside for weeks on end. She already looked pasty and unwell.
She was delighted when Mrs Jensen, arrived a week later at the cabin bearing a carrot cake, for our dear sheriff, and a pram.
She’d frowned. What on earth was she going to do with a pram? Young Emma was almost three – she was beyond needing a pram.
“My dear girl,” Mrs Jensen had said. “You can take little Emma for long walks.” She leaned forward and touched the child’s cheeks. “Look how pale and ill she looks. The child needs fresh air.”
Charlotte stared at Emma’s face. Mrs Jensen was right.
And so it began. Each morning after Angus left, Charlotte would make preparations for supper, do the laundry, then off they would go.
They would begin by strolling around the property, guessing the names of trees and other vegetation, and sometimes having a picnic at the nearby creek.
Angus had told her the creek was the culmination of the falls, which came down off the nearby Dayton mountains. That was where the town of Dayton Falls got its name.
It made perfect sense to her.
After their walk they would collect eggs from the hen house. Of course, the pram wouldn’t fit in there, but Charlotte would pass the eggs out to Emma to look after. She loved seeing the delight on Emma’s face – it was as though she’d collected them herself.
After their walk, which usually lasted at least an hour, they would return home and collect vegetables from the garden. These would be used for the next evening’s supper.
“I think we’ll make a rhubarb and apple pie for Papa’s supper,” Charlotte announced, collecting the necessary ingredients.
“Papa will be very happy,” Emma announced. She loved nothing more than to make her Papa happy, and Charlotte felt exactly the same way.
* * *
Making love had become a regular occurrence, and as much as she thought she’d hate it, Charlotte came to enjoy it.
“We have to get out of bed,” she told Angus. “I have to make your breakfast, and you need to get ready for work.”
She left her husband alone and began to prepare an omelet. There were always plenty of eggs, and she was pleased Emma was still able to help her collect them.
She’d enjoyed her walks with Emma, and how close they’d become over the past weeks since her leg had been broken.
As she put more wood on the fire, she felt his strong arms go up around her waist. “I’m getting your coffee. Don’t be impatient.” She flicked his hands away.
“It’s not coffee I want,” he whispered.
She turned her head to see his grin.
“Papa, Mama!” Emma was awake.
“These mornings are getting colder,” Charlotte said. “It seems to be much colder here in Dayton Falls than I remember in Westlake.”
Angus placed Emma on the chair. “You’re in Montana now, darlin’. It’s always cold here in the winter.”
“It will be Christmas soon,” she said. “I guess it will get even colder?” Emma’s eyes lit up.
“Christmas?” She could see the joy on the child’s face.
Angus looked happy too. “Our first Christmas together,” he said. “The three of us. Our little family.”
Charlotte thought about Christmas with her family, and how stifled it always was. The amount of wasted food was cri
minal, and the only dispensation her father would allow was for the servants to have the left overs.
This year would be different. She knew it would.
“My only wish for Christmas, is that we spend it together,” he said, despite it being some months away. “Just the three of us.”
Charlotte handed him his coffee, his wish echoing her own.
Chapter Seven
Finally, the splint had come off, and things were back to normal.
Emma had relished running to the hen house to collect the eggs. Charlotte never let her go alone because of the risk of snakes and foxes. Angus had drummed that into her from the beginning.
It was almost time to leave for church, but Emma had insisted on collecting the eggs before they left. She’d persisted so much, and she could see Angus was getting agitated with the child’s tomfoolery, so she finally gave in.
Emma was only steps ahead of her when she suddenly let out a high-pitched scream.
Charlotte was next to her in a flash. “What is it darling?” Emma was frozen but managed to point.
They both stood frozen to the spot.
Moments later, gunfire startled her. “Damned rattlesnakes,” Angus said, as he used the barrel of the rifle to remove the offending creature.
“You said a naughty word, Papa,” Emma said, visibly shaking from her frightening experience.
Angus leaned over and picked her up.
“Don’t ever touch a snake, Emma,” he said. “They’ll kill you. But don’t scream either, because they will rear up and attack.”
Tears streaming down her little face, Emma nodded her head.
“Time to finish getting ready for church.”
Charlotte pulled Emma’s bonnet on and tied the bow, then tied her highly polished shoes. She pulled on her own bonnet, then they were ready to leave.
She looked her husband up and down. He really did scrub up well.
He watched her looking him over, and his eyes sparkled. Heat rose in her cheeks. “Like what you see, Charlotte?” He reached for her hand, then pulled her in to his side. She felt a familiar ding in her hand, then warmth spread through her body, as it always did when he touched her.
He spun her around until her back was against him. Without warning, he leaned down and kissed her neck. “I’m so glad you chose me,” he said quietly.
His hands sat on her waist, holding her close. Then suddenly they were roaming her body. “Angus,” she said sharply. “We have to go to church.”
He pushed her gently away. “Let me look at you.” He held her by the shoulders and held her slightly away from himself, so he could get a better look.
“You’ll need new clothes soon,” he said. “Go into the Mercantile tomorrow and get some new dresses. Bigger ones.”
She frowned but nodded her agreement.
She had noticed she was putting on weight but had hoped Angus wouldn’t.
She’d stood in front of the full-length mirror only yesterday and had frowned. She wasn’t eating any more than she did at her parent’s home, probably less, yet here she was, getting bigger by the week.
She’d guessed it was because she was happy. Ecstatic even.
“Angus,” she said urgently. “We must leave now, or we’ll be late.” She picked up the apple pie she had made as their food share for luncheon after church.
It had become a regular occurrence for some months now, and Charlotte was enjoying getting to know the other parishioners of Dayton Falls.
* * *
“Thick vegetable soup and scones,” Angus said as he tucked into his supper. “You really know how to reach a man’s heart.” He grinned at her then focused on her growing belly.
“I still don’t understand why you didn’t just tell me I was with child,” Charlotte said, still annoyed at Angus for not saying anything.
“It was my little secret,” he said, then tucked into his hearty soup again. “While I think of it, next Sunday after church we’ll be working on the new room.”
“New room? We?” What was he talking about?
“A group of the parishioners are coming out to help me build a new room for the baby.”
Charlotte was taken aback. She’d never heard of such a thing before. “I thought the baby would be in our room, or in with Emma.”
“Not in our room,” he said quickly. “There are some things that have to stay private.” He winked, and Charlotte felt the heat rise in her cheeks. She was very glad Emma had no idea what he was talking about.
“Christmas is just weeks away, and we want it finished before then.” He reached for her hand. “The baby might be here by then. Doc Grogan says you haven’t got long to go before he arrives.”
“He might be a girl,” she said teasingly.
Angus pulled her down into his lap. “No matter what it is, it will be our baby,” he said. “And that’s all that matters.”
“We’re having a little sister for me,” Emma said, and apparently that ended the conversation.
Charlotte and Angus looked at each other and grinned.
* * *
Angus pulled Charlotte close to him as they lay in bed.
His arms wrapped around her, he wondered what he’d be doing right now if she hadn’t agreed to be his mail order bride.
Or who he might have ended up with.
“We’ve been together for a long time now, Charlotte,” he said quietly, as they lay there together. “You’ve never told me why you needed to get away in such a hurry.”
She sighed, and he wondered if she would answer. “It’s a long story, but my parents were going to marry me off to a revolting old man who’d already had one wife disappear and had the other one locked up in an asylum.”
He tensed. No wonder she’d needed to leave with such haste.
“Plus, he was a disgusting pig.”
If it hadn’t been so serious, he might have laughed at her words.
“Charlotte,” he said softly. “I’m glad you chose me.” He baby kicked against his hands and it filled him with joy.
She wriggled backwards to get closer to him. “I’m glad I chose you, too,” she said. “They had five potential husbands for me to choose from.”
“And you chose me, out of all those men? Why?” He really was curious now.
She grabbed his hands that were wrapped around her swollen belly. “Because you sounded the nicest. And you were the sheriff – I knew you’d be strong and handsome.”
He bit back his laughter – he didn’t think she would appreciate it. “I’m glad,” he said softly. “Charlotte,” he said as he gently kissed her neck. “I know I haven’t told you before, but I love you so much. My heart is filled with love for you.”
He heard her gasp. “It didn’t take long. You’re such a wonderful woman, a perfect mother, and you’re very special in many ways.” He swallowed hard. Emotion threatened to overtake him.
“Hey, you’re crying,” he said, as he felt tears running down his arm. “Why are you crying? Isn’t that a good thing?”
“I, I didn’t know you felt that way,” she said in a whisper. “I’ve loved you since almost the moment I met you. You were so caring from the start.”
She rolled onto her back and looked into his eyes in the semi-darkness. “My life here is very different to when I lived with my parents, harder than before, but I wouldn’t change it for anything.”
He squeezed her hands. “Neither would I.” He embraced her once more, and they fell into a deep sleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.
* * *
Charlotte was amazed by the number of people who had arrived to help with the baby’s room.
Mrs Jensen, whom she’d become close friends with, also came, along with a handful of the other ladies from the Dayton Falls church.
“You sit down and put your feet up, my dear,” Mrs Jensen told her. “It’s nearly your time. You need to take the load off your body.”
She didn’t argue – she knew they were right. She could feel she wasn�
�t far off the birthing time and wanted to conserve her energy. Mrs Jensen had five children, so she knew best.
The older woman rummaged through her pantry until she found the ingredients she sought. “We women will have a baking afternoon, while the men do the hard work outside.”
Charlotte nodded, feeling quite helpless.
“They’ll be looking for something to eat when they’re done,” she said. Then she whispered loudly. “Men are always hungry.” She wiped her hands on her apron and began mixing the ingredients for chocolate cake.
Mrs Green made bread, and Mrs Rowlands baked cookies. Charlotte had no idea that many people would fit in her little kitchen all at the same time.
Emma came running in to find out what everyone was doing. She looked very pretty in her floral short sleeved dress and matching bonnet. Her white pinafore was over the top of it.
“Mama,” she said quietly as she tugged on Charlotte’s hand. “Can I play outside?”
Charlotte opened her eyes. “Emma, you still have on your Sunday best,” she said, horrified. “Sit down next to me for awhile. Mama is very tired.”
“Mama,” Emma said again, trying to climb up onto her Mama. “When is my little sister coming?” She kneeled on top of Charlotte now, her face very close to Charlotte’s.
“Emma!” Mrs Jensen said sharply. “Get down off Mama this minute. You’re going to hurt her.”
Emma turned toward Mrs Jensen, and for a moment Charlotte was certain she was going to defy the older woman. She leaned in and kissed Charlotte gently on the cheek and climbed down.
It was all Charlotte could do not to cry.
Suddenly she screamed and held her belly. The three women ran toward her. They helped her to her feet and her waters broke.
“Get her into bed,” Mrs Jensen said. “And someone get Angus. We need Doc Grogan.”
Charlotte stifled a cry. She wasn’t sure what was to come, but she was sure it wouldn’t be pretty. No matter what, she was having Angus’s baby, and that was all that mattered.
* * *
Angus sat on the porch praying.
He prayed Charlotte would survive the birth of this baby. He’d lost Sarah this way three years ago, and he didn’t want to lose Charlotte.
The Widower's Christmas Wish Page 6
