by J. O Mantel
He leaned down and placed his head against Sienna’s stomach. As he rested his head there, Sienna’s smile dissolved, it was replaced with a look of confusion. She looked down at Jake, his face still covered with a smile. He slowly sat up and Sienna quickly faked a smile. He smiled back at her and the two of them stared at one another for a few seconds. Sienna couldn’t explain it, but slowly, as she continued to look at Jake, she leaned toward him, their eyes never leaving each other. She could feel herself getting closer as his lips approached hers. Jake was going for it too, he could feel her breath as the two of them got closer.
Sienna cleared her throat, loudly, “I think I might go to bed,” she said suddenly, getting off the sofa and heading to her room.
“Ok. Well, goodnight,” Jake said, suddenly feeling very awkward.
“Night,” she replied, and closed the door.
Jake couldn’t remove the smile from his face. What was about to happen? Were they about to share a kiss, a proper kiss? One that actually meant something? Even though there was a fifty percent chance that he wasn’t the father of those twins, he still remained positive and Sienna’s actions tonight were enough to satisfy him. He turned out the lights before heading to his own room and closed the door.
Sienna changed into her pajamas and lay in bed staring at the ceiling, confused. She rubbed her hand over her belly and smiled, she was certain that she had felt her babies’ move, even if Jake hadn’t. She knew now that he was genuinely happy for her, even though there was a chance he wasn’t their father. There were many thoughts rushing through Sienna’s mind, but now she also had another problem to deal with. She had this feeling, deep inside, a feeling that she couldn’t explain. It was something she hadn’t planned, and the timing couldn’t be worse. Maybe it was her head telling her something, or maybe it was just the pregnancy hormones starting to kick in. It was a feeling of love, and it was directed at Jake.
A few days later, Sienna met Ivy for lunch at the cafe where they used to eat lunch regularly. They found a table, sat down, and gave their orders to their waitress.
“How are the wedding plans coming along?” Sienna asked.
“Exhausting. Whoever thought so much time and planning went into organizing just one day.”
“Yeah, but it’s worth it, right? I mean all that glitz and glamor and not to mention, that dress. Besides, you get to be the center of attention, even if it is just for one day.”
“I know, but there’s just so much to do.”
The waitress returned and placed their meals on the table.
“Anyway, how are things with you? Everything okay with the twins?”
“Yeah, everything’s fine,” she replied, flatly, placing a forkful of salad in her mouth.
“What’s wrong?” Ivy asked.
“Hmmm?” Sienna replied.
“I don’t know, you sound a little… flat.”
Sienna tried to avoid the situation. The truth was, Ivy was the only one she could talk to at the moment.
“Something’s happening, Ivy,” Sienna replied.
“With what? Are you and Lukas all right?”
“Lukas? Why did he have to come into my life and be so perfect, and then complicate things more?”
“Sienna, Hon, you’re not making any sense,” Ivy took a bite into her ham and cheese bagel.
“The other night, Jake and I were at home. We were sitting on the sofa watching some TV and the babies moved for the first time, well I think they did anyway.”
“Oh my God. That must have been pretty exciting,” Ivy said.
“It was, Jake even rested his head on my tummy, he wanted to see if he could feel them moving around,” she smiled as she said it.
“Look at you,” Ivy said, noticing the smile on Sienna’s face.
“Huh?”
“You just smiled when you mentioned Jake’s name. You’ve never reacted like that before.”
Sienna went a little quiet and ate a bit more of her salad.
“There’s more isn’t there?” Ivy asked.
“I don’t know what’s happening Ivy. I don’t know if it’s genuine, or just my pregnancy hormones driving me crazy.”
“What are you talking about, Sienna?”
Sienna slid her plate toward the center of the table in frustration and looked at Ivy.
“The other night when Jake was listening to my tummy, there… there were things going on that I couldn’t explain.”
“Things? What kind of things?” Ivy replied, confused.
“There were certain feelings inside.”
“Sienna, I’m sorry, but you’re really not making any sense at all.” Ivy was starting to get a little annoyed.
“Jake and I almost kissed,” Sienna said.
Ivy’s eyes widened, “What?” She gasped.
“When he was lying there with his head on my stomach, I could see how happy he was. I know we don’t know who the father is, but Ivy you should have seen the look on his face.”
Ivy didn’t respond, she continued to look at Sienna and take in the information.
“He was so happy Ivy, and a small part of me couldn’t help but smile and react the way I did.”
Ivy finished her bagel and took a sip of her water. Her eyes met Sienna’s again.
“Are you falling in love with Jake?” Ivy asked.
Sienna’s eyes left Ivy’s for a moment and she put her head down.
“Sienna, are you in love with Jake?” Ivy asked again.
“I don’t know, Ivy. But I went all warm, fuzzy and tingly while he lay there. And I was the one who instigated the “almost” kiss, it was me this time, not him.”
Ivy processed what Sienna was telling her. She could see that Sienna was obviously confused.
“What are you going to do?”
“I don’t know, like I said, I don’t know if it’s my pregnancy hormones kicking in, or if it’s my heart genuinely telling me something.”
“Sienna, I’ve gotta say, I’m not really surprised. I mean you and Jake practically see each other twenty-four-seven. And now a baby? I’m not surprised you’re feeling like this. What did Jake say afterward?”
“Nothing, I went straight to bed before it got awkward,” Sienna replied.
“What about Lukas? Do you still love him?”
“Yeah, Ivy. I do.”
“Quite the predicament you’re in.” She looked at Sienna, who was close to bursting into tears. “I think you need to spend some time away from everyone, myself included.”
“What?” Sienna asked, surprised.
“Christmas is coming up, why don’t you go and spend it with your family? I’m sure they’d love to have you. Besides, you won’t be in much of a position to do any traveling pretty soon, and do you really want to wait until the babies are born before you see them again?”
“So you’re saying I should just pack up everything and run away?”
“You’re not running away, babe. You need this time away. The longer you’re around Lukas and Jake, the more confusing things are going to be for you.”
“What am I going to say to them?” Sienna asked.
“Just tell them both that you’re going to spend Christmas with your family, because you won’t get the opportunity to do much traveling soon. Both of them are probably busy with their music anyway, I’m sure they’ll understand.”
Not long after the girls finished their lunch. Sienna said goodbye to Ivy, then she headed back to the office, she had a lot to think about.
“What do you mean you’re not spending Christmas with me?” Lukas asked.
“Babe, this might be the only chance I get to travel before the twins arrive. Besides, I haven’t had the chance to tell my family that I’m pregnant yet.”
Lukas looked at her, frustrated.
“How long are you going to be gone?”
“Two weeks. I figured I may as well make most of the time while I’m there.”
Lukas paced around the room before stopping by the m
antelpiece.
“Are you mad at me?” Sienna asked.
“No. I’m not mad, but it’s a little sudden, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, it is. But like I said Lukas, I think it’s time I told everyone that I’m pregnant, it’s not exactly a conversation I want to have over the phone.”
“And that’s all it is, nothing else?” He asked.
Sienna shook her head and walked over to him.
“Babe, I know that Christmas is the only time you get a break. And you know that I want nothing more than to stay here and spend Christmas with you. But this is important to me.”
“I guess this is the part where I’m supposed to be the understanding and supportive boyfriend?”
“Yep,” Sienna replied.
“Then you got it.”
Sienna threw her arms around him and the two of them kissed.
“Thank you,” she said.
Lukas got down on his knees and lifted her top, exposing her pregnant belly.
“You two behave yourselves all right? Don’t give your mother a hard time on this trip.” He leaned forward and kissed her belly, as Sienna looked down and laughed at him.
Standing back up, he kissed her again, before the two of them headed into the kitchen and made a start on lunch.
She and Jake had a quiet dinner that evening, and finding a flight to Arizona for the holidays was almost impossible at such short notice, but she managed to find something within her budget. After making her reservations, Sienna phoned her parents and told them that she would be staying with them for two weeks.
Her brothers and sisters were flying into Arizona on the weekend. Although it wasn’t the ideal way she had planned to tell them that she was pregnant, she was happy to be seeing them all again.
After dinner, she finished packing her suitcase and went into the living room. Jake was sitting on the sofa watching television.
“You all packed?” He asked, standing up and walking toward her.
Sienna nodded.
“I can’t believe we’re spending another Christmas apart,” Jake said.
Sienna remained silent and remembered last Christmas. Jake had admitted his feelings to her for the first time and kissed her. It was her first Christmas with Lukas.
“A lot’s happened since then, Jake” Sienna replied, almost in a whisper.
“I bet your parents were surprised to hear from you,” Jake said.
“Yeah, mom was so excited, she’s got the whole family for Christmas this year.”
“Everyone?” Jake asked, his eyes almost popping out of his head.
“Yeah. You know what my mother’s like. As soon as she heard I was coming she was straight on the phone, it was as if someone had announced a fanfare or something.”
“So, you’re going to make your big announcement in front of everyone? The whole family?”
“Looks like it.”
“That’ll be an interesting conversation. ‘So, Lukas and you are going to be parents?’ ‘Um, actually, I don’t know if he’s the father.’”
Sienna hadn’t thought of that. How the hell was she going to explain to her family that she didn’t know who the father was?
“Shit! I never thought of that.”
Jake raised his eyebrows, he clearly didn’t have an answer for her.
“I guess I’ll only tell them what they need to know,” she replied.
“What do you mean by that? You’re going to lie?”
“I didn’t say that… look, Jake please, just let me sort this out, okay?”
“All right,” he said, admitting defeat. “Anything you need help with?” He asked.
“Nope. I’m all packed. I just need you to make sure you get me to the airport on time tomorrow.”
“Damn! I was hoping you wouldn’t catch on to that,” he laughed. “I’m heading out to a meeting with the band and Sony. I’ll try not to be home too late, but if I’m not awake in the morning before you, wake me.”
Sienna nodded her head, as Jake grabbed his keys and walked out the front door.
It was getting rather late and Sienna was feeling really tired. Jake still wasn’t home from his meeting so she decided to go to bed. She turned out the light, went to her room and changed into her pajamas. No sooner had she crawled into bed, she heard the front door open and then close a few moments later. Jake must have returned from his meeting. She put on her slippers and walked out into the living room.
“So how was-” she stopped, shocked to see Lukas standing there unexpectedly.
“Lukas?” She said, surprised.
“Hey,” he replied.
“How did you… what are you…?”
“Oh, I pulled up right after Jake. He let me in.”
“Jake?”
“Yeah, Jake? You know, about so high… lives with you… ”
“I mean, you and Jake actually spoke?”
Lukas looked at her confused. “Yeah, babe you’re acting like I’ve never met the guy.”
Lukas couldn’t help but smile.
“So where is he?”
“Who?” Lukas asked.
“Jake,” she replied looking around.
“Oh, I think he went to bed, when we were outside he mentioned that he was taking you to the airport in the morning and he wanted to get some sleep.”
Sienna looked at Jake’s bedroom, his door was shut. She was actually surprised that she didn’t have to go outside and break up a domestic disturbance, knowing how Jake felt about Lukas.
She looked at Lukas and smiled.
“What’s that for?” He asked.
“Nothing. I’m just so happy that you and Jake are finally starting to see eye to eye. The last thing I want is for things to get difficult between the three of us.”
“So, you’re really going?” Lukas asked, noticing her bags and casually changing the subject.
“I’m really going. Lukas you know why I have to do this.”
The truth was, if Sienna stayed around the two of them any longer she was going to go crazy. Lukas was her boyfriend, the one man she had fantasized about for the past five years, he was the one she wanted. But now, she started having these feelings for Jake. Feelings that weren’t going away, for the first time, it was Sienna who was hiding her true feelings. Maybe running away to Arizona to be with her family wasn’t Ivy’s brightest idea, but it’s all Sienna had at the moment. Since falling pregnant all sorts of crazy things were going through her mind, and taking some time out was her only option.
Lukas looked into her eyes, Sienna stared back at him, and it was hard for her to hold back her tears. Lukas could see them forming in her eyes, he walked forward, grabbed her head and kissed her passionately.
“I’m normally the one who’s always leaving and saying goodbye,” he said, wiping the tears that had started to stream down her cheek, with his finger.
“I know. I’m not used to this,” Sienna cried.
“You know, you don’t have to leave. You and I could always go away and spend some time together.”
“Lukas, as tempting as that sounds, I can’t. I really need this vacation away with my family.”
She hugged him and rested her head on his chest. She could feel his heart beating against her cheek, she smiled and pulled away, looking at him.
“Thanks for understanding,” she said.
“It’s what I do,” he said, kissing her on the nose. “What time’s your flight?”
“9a.m.”
“Okay,” Lukas replied. He leaned forward and kissed her again.
“I know we saw each other earlier, but I couldn’t stay away from you. It’s going to kill me not being able to have you in my arms or even in my bed for two weeks.”
“You’ll manage,” Sienna smirked.
The two of them then said a final goodbye and Lukas walked out the front door.
Jake drove Sienna to the airport the following morning. Neither of them said much on the journey, and Sienna couldn’t stop thinking about Lukas. Eve
n though he was okay with her spending Christmas with her family, she couldn’t shake the feeling that he was hiding his true feelings and had a million questions. Questions that Sienna couldn’t answer right now.
It took forever for Jake to find a park, despite the fact it was early and Sienna was freaking out about missing her flight. Jake grabbed her suitcases from the trunk and the two of them hurried for the terminal. After checking-in, Sienna hugged Jake and whispered in his ear; “Merry Christmas, Jake.”
“Merry Christmas,” he replied, hugging her back. They stared at one another, neither of them said a word for several seconds. It felt as if they were saying goodbye, forever.
“Say hi to your parents and everyone else for me,” Jake said.
“I will.”
“And have a safe flight. Message me as soon as you land.”
“Yes, Jake.” Sienna replied.
There was an announcement prompting Sienna’s final boarding call.
“I better go or I’ll miss my flight,” she said in a panic.
Jake pulled her in once more and hugged her tight, almost kissing her.
“See you later,” he whispered.
She grabbed her purse and headed for the boarding gates. Jake watched as the doors opened, and one by one the passengers started making their way through. Sienna finally reached the gates, and one last time, she turned and smiled at Jake. He returned the smile and with one final wave, she disappeared through the gates.
With Sienna in Arizona and the band taking a break for the holidays, Jake was all alone. He and Sienna had been texting, but it wasn’t the same as seeing her face around the house every day. It was still a few days before Christmas, and soon his parents, Emily and Chris would be in New York to spend Christmas and New Year with him. He tried to convince them that he didn’t need babysitting, but his mom insisted and told him that the discussion was over.
Sienna told both him and Lukas that her trip to visit her parents was nothing more than a family vacation. But Jake had this feeling it was something more, that she was keeping something from both of them. Convinced that he would probably never find out the real truth, he packed his gym bag, put on his sneakers and headed for the gym. Listening to his compilation of eighties music, Jake strolled down Fifth Avenue. He stopped suddenly, his eyes settling on the glass doors of Tiffany and Co. He stopped and looked through the glass, he could see Lukas staring right back at him. Putting on his hoodie, he turned and quickly continued walking.
