by Kathryn Shay
“Of course not. Let us keep the baby.”
“Man, that’d be a blessing. His carriage is right in the garage, if you want to take him for a walk. I’ll leave it open.”
“What will you do?” his mother asked.
“Honestly? I’m going to sleep. He got up at four.”
“Go, then.” Eliza made it an order.
Eliza took the wicker rocker on the deck and swayed back and forth with the baby. His scent, the way he clutched her hair, tugged at her maternal instinct.
Carmella studied her. “Did you enjoy having your daughter?”
“I did. I missed my ballet career, but she was such a joy. I stayed home with her and didn’t open my own studio until she went to school.”
“How long do you plan to stay home with the next one?”
Eliza’s eyes widened. “You know?”
“I’ve known every time one of our girls was pregnant. There’s something about your faces. The way you move. How far along are you?”
“Nearly a month. I have a tummy check this week.”
“Will you find out the sex?”
“Yes. I’m forty-three so I’m having the chromosome test at ten weeks.”
“Are you happy, Eliza, about the baby?”
“Uh, huh.”
“Is Ronan?”
“I’m not exactly sure because he doesn’t know either. I’m giving him time.”
“That’s important. Ronan was scarred as a child. Whenever I saw him at the lake or when he stayed over here, I wanted to steal him away from those people.”
“His background was so sad, Carmella. It makes me want to cry.”
“Well, if he wants the baby, that would show he’s moving on, managing that.”
“I agree.”
“And what about you two?”
“That part of us seems to have ended. Something else that I feel sad about.”
“I’ve learned in life that things aren’t over until they’re over, dear. Just be patient and wait.”
* * *
Ronan drove to his aunt’s house an hour early for Sunday dinner. He turned his motorcycle onto Grove Circle and caught sight of Eliza on the street, pushing a stroller. He blinked twice to make sure he wasn’t imagining things. Nope, it was her. He pulled over and stopped. She halted, too.
“Hey, whatcha got there?”
“A baby.”
“Whose?”
She hadn’t worn a hat and her nose was red. “Seth’s. Julianne went out with Anabelle this morning, and when your mom and I were on the deck, he came over.”
“And stuck you with his kid?” His tone was teasing.
“Nah. Poor Seth. I told him to take some time for himself. He went back to bed.”
“Are you starting or ending your walk?”
“Starting.”
“Can I go with you?”
“Sure.”
Wearing denims and a yellow T-shirt, he secured his motorcycle on the side of the road and removed his helmet. His hair was sexily mussed.
Eliza pointed to the headgear. “Loop that over this, so you don’t have to carry it.”
They began to walk. In the gorgeous day, with sun and blue skies and birds chirping all around them, Ronan stared down into the hooded carriage. Dressed in a one-piece thing with long sleeves and footed at the end, the baby pumped his arms and legs. “Isn’t he hot with that thing on?”
“I don’t think so. He’s only a month old. Babies usually wear onesies like this when they’re that little. Seth might put a shorts outfit on him later.”
“Onesies? There’s a whole new vocabulary to learn about babies, isn’t there?”
She didn’t say anything. He knew she wasn’t going to go there until he decided what to do.
So he blurted out, “I went to see Bridget this week.”
A small gasp. “I didn’t know you planned to do that.”
He looked over her shoulder, then right at her, his dark eyes simmering. “I’m getting these feelings all at once that drive me to do things.”
“Good things?”
“I think, yeah.”
“What happened?”
When they started walking, and he told her how Bridget asked him to call her mother, she stopped short. “Ronan, I can’t believe that.”
“I was flabbergasted.”
“What did you do?”
He gave her a rundown of his time with her.
She couldn’t help but smile. “Do you realize the significance of all that?”
“I do, honey.”
“Will you be going back?”
“Yeah. Not often, but I’ll see her occasionally. I’m not sure if she’ll ever get her speech back or regain the use of her left side, but it is what it is.” He put his hand over hers on the bar of the stroller. “I have to free myself from all the grimness that’s been my life. I’m so tired of it.”
“I want that for you.”
“I’m trying, love. Really hard.”
He’d never called her that. It warmed her heart and gave her hope. And as Carmella advised, she just had to be patient.
* * *
That week, Ronan walked into Ed’s office, with both trepidation and hope in his heart.
Ed sat in his usual chair, steepling his hands. “So, how’s it going?”
“I have some news about Bridget.”
Ed nodded.
“I went to see her…”
The counselor’s jaw dropped when Ronan finished.
Ronan asked, “What does this mean?”
“What do you think it means?”
“I hate when you do that.”
“I know, but it’s important that you figure this out for yourself.”
He stared at the whirling ceiling fan, at the shadows the sunlight projected on the walls. “I feel like I’m on a precipice, Ed.” Leaning forward, he linked his hands between his knees. “Like something’s trying to burst out of me. Something that cocooned me for years.”
“That’s a great metaphor. Are you ready to forgive your mother?”
“Is that what you think this is?”
Ed gave him a pointed look.
“She was asking for forgiveness.”
“Did you give it?”
“I suppose I did, tacitly anyway. I stayed an hour. She still can’t talk so I did. Then she pointed to a book, and I read to her until she fell asleep.”
“That all sounds like forgiveness to me, or at least the beginning of it.”
He sighed heavily.
“Now, about Eliza.”
“I think my resistance to her is because of that shell I mentioned.”
“In what way?”
“I haven’t believed anyone could love me.”
“Your parents behaved as if they didn’t.”
“I know. And of course, it scarred me. After all the attempts to forget, facing it has helped me think about my worthiness as a person.”
“Do you still believe the world is evil?”
“No, I don’t think so. But there’s more, Ed, since the last time I saw you. Eliza’s pregnant.”
“You poor boy, one shock after another.”
“No, it’s not a blow.”
“Why not?”
“Same thing as I said before. I’m no longer sure I think I couldn’t bring a child into my horrid world. That I’d never make a good father.”
“Did you decide if you can?”
“I’m afraid to admit I have. I was so relieved that she didn’t have an abortion. One I suggested, by the way.” He hit his palm on his forehead. “What an idiot.”
“I’m confused.”
Ronan explained his initial reaction.
“So, do you love Eliza?”
“I’ve always loved her. But now, it’s different. It’s an adult romantic love.” Those were her exact words.
“And do you want this child?”
“I must. As I said, I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders
when she said she was keeping the baby.”
“Hmm. Maybe the last of the cocoon fell off, Ronan.”
* * *
Before play practice, the Yorks called Ronan and asked for a meeting with him and Eliza. He said no at first, that the play was under way and they were busy. But they told him it was about something else. Finally, he agreed.
They put four chairs in a circle and sat down with the Yorks when they arrived. Eliza was not looking forward to this. Again.
“Thanks for seeing us,” Sally said.
Ronan nodded.
Peter York gestured to both of them. “We want to thank you for being so kind to Sabrina when she came in here drunk that night.”
“It was all Eliza.”
“Thank you, Eliza, from the bottom of our hearts. We want your opinion on letting her go to New York for this summer internship. She’s won’t be eighteen until September, so we can keep her from attending.”
“I’m not sure I should be giving you advice.”
Sally said, “You went. Your daughter went for a dance internship. Is Sabrina capable of handling it?”
“Any spot with the ballet company is very demanding physically. And to do it you need total devotion to dance.”
“She had that once,” Peter put in. “But this play thing has been hard on her, caused her to act out.”
Ronan folded his arms over his chest. “Better here than in New York, don’t you think?”
“I suppose.”
Sally started to speak when her phone rang. She checked the ID. “I think I need to take this…hello…what…oh, no.” She looked wildly at Peter and he grabbed the phone. Spoke into it.
“We’ll be right there.” He bolted up. “Come on Sally, we have to go. Sabrina’s crashed her car. She’s been taken to the hospital.”
“How is she?” Ronan asked.
“She’s unconscious.”
By now they were headed to the door. Eliza called out, “Let us know if there’s anything we can do.”
“We will.”
And they were gone.
Ronan sat back. “This is horrible.”
“But it seals the deal.”
“What do you mean?”
“She won’t be going to New York this summer.”
* * *
Ronan began practice by telling the cast members about Sabrina. They’d find out anyway. “We haven’t gotten an update, but I imagine we’re not on her parents’ minds right now.”
A phone rang. Ronan frowned. Annie, one of the minor characters, clicked onto her cell. Spoke a few minutes, then disconnected. “Sorry that I broke the rules and kept that on, Ronan. But my parents are best friends with Mr. and Mrs. York and I knew they’d have an update. Sabrina’s awake and she’s sore all over but no broken bones or head injury.”
An audible sigh of relief surged through the group. He looked at Eliza and got a sympathetic one in return. “We should all be glad it wasn’t worse.”
Eventually, Ronan started practice. “Turn to page 50 in the book. I asked you to review it last night at home. Let’s give it a try. Take your places Caroline and Linc.”
Stage is set out on a street under a lamp at night.
LINC: (about two feet away) I have to know Caroline. I have to.
MARYANN: (comes to the front of the stage. Stares out, wrings her hands then she turns abruptly.) I do love you, Linc. I always have. But…
Before Linc could answer, Ronan interrupted them. “Maryann, you need more emotion in this scene.”
Maryann dropped the book, not in anger, but in frustration. Ronan had refrained from demonstrating what he wanted for fear of influencing them too much.
But intervention was needed. He hoisted himself up on the stage. “Want some help, Maryann?”
“Yeah.”
He picked up her book. “I’ll read it, but Mike, move out of sight. I don’t think I can say these things to you.”
The group laughed.
Mike stepped away, and Ronan saw he’d been blocking Eliza, who stood in the wings: ballet slippers on, a pink leotard and skirt, a smile on her face.
And suddenly, everything fell into place. He began to read the dialogue.
“I love you,” he said, then looked up at her. “I’ve loved you for a long time. But now I can admit it. Please, marry me and have my baby.”
Maryann coughed. “Um, Ronan, those aren’t the right words.”
Eliza flew out onto the stage and raced over to him. “Oh, but they are. The exact right words.” She threw herself at Ronan and he held on tight. She whispered. “I love you. And, yes to all of it.”
Epilogue
* * *
One year later
Paul called from above, “Don’t you dare go down the steps alone!”
Hayley watched her husband as he made his way off the upper deck and jogged down to some chairs set up before the staircase to the lake. His longer hair was windblown, his blue eyes sparkling when he reached her. They both wore bathing suits, his with a blue T-shirt over his trunks, hers with a pink cover-up that strained at her belly.
“Paul, Ronan widened the steps and put in another railing.”
“I guess.” His forehead met hers in the bright sunlight of May. “I’m crazy already with this new pregnancy.”
“Six-month pregnancy.” She drew back. “Just try to be better.”
“I will. Where’s Olivia?”
“Julianne took her to play with Ford.” She nodded to the shoreline. “Seth and Carmella are helping with the two of them.”
“Carmella never changes.”
Which was nice, Hayley thought staring out at the water. On the other hand, her own mother had changed after her stroke. The hospital psychologist told Hayley a major shift in personality was common among stroke patients and that’s exactly what happened.
“You thinking about Bridget?”
She sighed. “You know me so well. I was. When I went to see her yesterday, she was so placid. She asked to have Livie visit her at the assisted living facility.”
“At least it’s a good change.”
“Yeah, somewhat. She’s still…cold, doesn’t hug. And sometimes I can see her disapproval, but she never says anything.” Luckily, she’d regained her voice.
“That’s a whole lot better than the open criticism you got for years.” He grasped her hand. “Come on, let’s go visit with your cousins.”
Hayley went down the steps slowly with Paul holding one hand and the other on the railing. When they reached the sand, they crossed to Seth and Carmella, who had the kids.
Livie had toddled along for three months now, but Ford had only learned to walk recently. Seth watched his son make his way through the sand, fall a few times, and get right up. Still, after all this time, the sight of his child filled him with joy.
“He’s a trouper,” Hayley told him.
He gave her a huge grin. “Yeah. He never gives up.
From behind he heard, “Like somebody else I know.”
Seth turned. Julianne’s hair, blonder from the sun, sparkled in the hot day and her one-piece blue speedo fit her…very well.
“Aren’t you glad I never did?” he asked, kissing his wife on the nose.
“Immensely.” She smiled up at him, then turned to Hayley and Paul. “Can you believe those two together?”
“I don’t remember us at that age,” Hayley told her, “but I imagine Seth and I played like that.” Pouring sand over each other’s feet, giggling when it got between their toes, pointing to the water saying, “Wa wa.”
“How’s life in politics?” This from Paul.
Seth had been asked by Vanessa Daniels, the Hidden Cove mayor, to run for an Anderson County legislator on an outreach platform. So, in addition to his job, he’d been campaigning for election in September for better housing, more food subsidies, training programs and child care for workers who couldn’t afford it. He was thrilled by the opportunity, and if he won, he was planning to leave Legal Aid f
or a while.
“It’s going well. Campaigning is different from governing, though. I like to talk, meet people, schmooze.” He hefted up Ford onto his shoulders and Paul did the same with Livie. “Let’s go sit with the others.”
Hayley linked her arm with Julianne, and the two couples crossed to the deck near the dock, where her other cousins had gathered.
Finn peered up at them from a double chaise where he and Millie sat together. “Hi, guys. Want some help?”
“Sure.” Hayley and Seth spoke together.
Seth handed Livie over to Finn, and Millie took Ford. The six of them sat, and Finn brushed his hand down Ford’s hair. He was getting used to holding babies and a whole host of other things since Millie came into his life. He cuddled the child close. “Hello, sweetheart.”
Millie kissed Ford’s head.
“Is your construction all done?” Finn asked Paul.
Each of them had bought houses and renovated them, using Paul’s brother’s construction company. Finn and Millie purchased her grandparents’ home, and added an in-law apartment off the back for them. They renovated both floors and modernized the rest of it.
“Yep. All done.” Paul squeezed his wife’s hand. “The movers come tomorrow.”
“Are your parents happy you’ll be right down the road?” Seth asked.
“Of course. Another of Matka’s children coming home to roost. But mostly, Pa’s thrilled.” Paul obviously took pleasure in the notion, probably because of the rocky start he’d had with his father. “The place has five bedrooms on the second and third floors,” Paul said palming the twins who nestled in Hayley’s belly.
“Hmm.” Finn nudged Millie. She looked cute today wearing a short denim jumper, her hair in pigtails. “Our house has four bedrooms to fill.”
“In due time, buddy. We have enough on our plate.”
“Yeah, how’s the expansion going?” Julianne asked.
“Great. I can’t believe Fitzgerald’s will be double in size.”
“You both work so hard.”
“Which we’re trying not to do,” Millie explained. “We’ve got three managers and increased the rest of the work force. We’re taking a Caribbean vacation for our first anniversary.” Millie stared out over the crystalline water, then turned to the most beautiful man in the world. Though she couldn’t see his eyes for the sunglasses, she knew she’d find pure, unadulterated love in them. “I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since we got married right on this spot.”
