“Yeah right,” I laughed, knowing now he was just feeding me some bullshit line.
“Why wouldn’t you believe that?” He asked, giving me a serious look. “Cassie, you are beautiful.”
He leaned in slowly and softly kissed my lips, then smiled.
“I’ve been wanting to do that for the longest time too,” he continued, and smiled once more.
I didn’t reply. Instead I just smiled. I liked Danny. I liked him a lot. He seemed to be genuinely sweet. I took another sip from my beer, wishing I could think of something witty to say.
“So, you’re from California, right?” He asked, clearly having done his research on me.
“Yes, I grew up in Santa Barbara, so north from here,” I replied, giving him a smile. “Where are you from?”
“I’m from Pasadena,” he replied. “Though we did travel a lot when I was a kid. My dad was in the military.”
“That must have been hard,” I replied, not really knowing what else to say.
“Sometimes it was,” he nodded, smiling once more. He talked about all the places he lived and how he missed home and his brothers, and for some reason, Evan popped into my head, but I quickly pushed that thought from my mind. I was there with Danny, and I was actually having a good time.
“You know, you’re very easy to talk to,” Danny said as we sipped on our second bottle of beer. “Some girls are all about themselves, but you’re not. You’re different.”
“Is that a good thing?” I asked, giving him a smile.
“It’s a very good thing,” he replied giving me a look that almost stopped my heart. He leaned forward and softly kissed my lips before he reached for the bottle in my hand, setting it down on the table.
He smiled before he leaned in and kissed me again, this time a little deeper than before. His kiss was perfect. His lips were soft and warm, as his hand tenderly touched my face.
“You’re perfect,” his whispered against my lips before he slowly pulled back. But the look on his face changed. “Oh, my God, Cassie; your nose is bleeding!”
I reached up and rubbed my nose and instantly felt the warm blood against the back on my hand.
Suddenly the room began to spin.
“Cassie!” Danny exclaimed; I could hear the panic in his voice. “Are you okay?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. I felt funny. Like everything was moving in slow motion.
“Cassie!” I heard Danny call out as I could feel myself tumbling forward, towards the floor. “CASSIE!”
Then everything went black.
Chapter 3
Cassie
A strange scent filled my nose and made my stomach heavy a little. It smelled like disinfectant and flowers, mixed together. I slowly opened my eyes and bright lights made me groan as I snapped my eyes shut once more.
Where the hell am I? I thought to myself as I moved slowly. Why do I feel like crap?
“Cass!” My father’s voice crashed into my head, making me open my eyes once more.
“Daddy!” I exclaimed as I pushed up in the bed that I was lying in and looked around the room. I was in a hospital bed, attached to monitors and there was a drip in the bend on my elbow. “What are you doing here? What…what am I doing here? What happened?”
“You collapsed at a party,” Dad explained as he reached forward and took hold of my hand. “You just hit the floor and you have been unconscious ever since. You gave us quite a scare.”
He gave me a strange look, and I knew there was something he wasn’t saying. He was worried, and that made me worry too.
“How long was I asleep?” I asked, pushed up further in the bed, and winced as I felt a sharp pain in my hip.
“Since last night,” he replied, giving me another smile. “The doctors are running some tests. They said you’re anaemic and that’s what made you pass out. They just need to find out why.”
“Okay,” I replied, giving him another smile, then I remembered the last thing I was doing before I blacked out. “Oh, my God, Danny! What must he be thinking? I must have scared the living daylights out of him.”
“That’s the young man who was here last night when I arrived?” Dad asked, but I knew he already knew the answer. “He was very concerned about you. He stayed until a few hours ago. He said he would be back to check on you today.”
“I can’t believe this happened. How can I ever even look at him again?” I asked, feeling completely mortified that this had happened when I was on our date.
“Flick is still here,” Dad continued. “She’s been here all night too. She just went to get some coffee. She is very worried about you too…”
He hesitated before he continued. “Cass, why didn’t you tell me you’ve been feeling unwell lately?”
I knew then that Flick had told him about the nose bleeds and my trip to the nurse’s office earlier that week.
“The nurse in school said she thought I was just a little run down,” I explained, knowing that he was more upset than he was letting on. “She said I was over-doing it with the studying and the late nights. But I just had one more week, then I was going home. I knew once I got there, I would be fine.”
“Cassie, nothing is more important than your health,” Dad said, sitting forward in his seat. “I know you want to do well in school, but you need to take better care of yourself.”
“I will, Dad,” I said giving his hand a squeeze. “I promise you.”
“Good,” he said with a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. I knew he was still worried. Before I could say anything else the door opened, and Flick came into the room, carrying two coffees.
“Hey!” She exclaimed, giving me the biggest smile. “Look who’s awake. How are you feeling?”
“Like I’ve been run over by a train,” I replied honestly, giving her a big smile.
“Well you sure know how to bring a party to an end,” she laughed as she handed my dad one of the coffees before she took her seat on the far side of the bed. “Poor Danny was completely freaked out. He said one minute you were making out, next minute you were spark out, with blood running from your nose. He thought you were actually dead.”
“Damn,” I replied, blushing that she had said we were making out in front of my dad. I glanced at him, but he was now focusing on his coffee. I knew he wasn’t completely comfortable with her comment either. Even though I was now twenty-one, to him, I was still his little girl. “I can’t believe this happened. I’m so embarrassed.”
“He is so sweet,” Flick continued, oblivious to the fact she had probably said too much. “He insisted on coming in the ambulance with us. I think he really likes you. He held your hand the whole time.”
“I don’t know why,” I said feeling mortified once more. “And I’m sure he isn’t as interested in me now.”
Flick opened her mouth to reply, but before she could, the door to the room opened and a middle-aged doctor walked in. Part of me was glad of the distraction, but then I noticed the look on the doctor’s face and instantly I got this feeling in the pit of my stomach. I didn’t know why, but something told me that what he had to say wasn’t going to be something I wanted to here.
“You’re awake!” He exclaimed the moment he spotted me sitting up in bed. “You gave us quite a scare, young lady.”
He smiled at me, and for the first time I noticed how handsome he was; well for a man old enough to be my dad. He was average height, with black, wavy hair, and his eyes were kind.
Cute doctors don’t give you bad news, I tried to reassure myself, but deep down I knew that something bad was about to come my way. It was just a feeling that I couldn’t explain. I braced myself.
“I’m Doctor Altman,” He introduced himself as he walked closer to the bed, giving me a broad smile. “How are you feeling this morning, Cassidy?”
“Okay, I guess, mostly just tired and a little sore,” I shrugged, then added. “And it’s Cassie.”
“I’m sorry, Cassie,” he corrected himsel
f with a smile as he sat down on the edge on my bed. “Flick here tells me you’ve been having a few nose bleeds lately. How else have you been feeling?”
“I guess I’ve mostly been tired,” I replied, having no clue where he was going with this. “But I’ve been working really hard on my college work.”
“Have you lost any weight recently?” He asked, still holding my eyes with his.
“I guess…” I shrugged again before I glanced at my father. The look of fear on his face made me feel even more scared than I already was. “But I’ve been so busy studying, I guess I wasn’t really eating properly.”
“I see,” he replied, finally breaking his gaze from mine to write something in the chart he was holding. “Do you know how much?”
“I don’t know,” I replied, suddenly feeling like I wanted to cry, but I didn’t know why. “Maybe a couple of pounds; a little more.”
“Okay,” he nodded, before he looked up and smiled at me once more. “Well, as your father may have told you. When you came in last night, you were unconscious. We have been running some tests overnight. The first one confirmed that you were extremely anaemic, so we had to run some more tests.”
He stood for a moment and I stole a glance at my father. His face was deathly white, like he knew what was coming next.
“Cassie, there were some abnormalities in your blood work,” he continued. “In addition to that, we also did a bone marrow aspiration and biopsy, which would explain why your hip may be a little sore.”
I instinctively touched my hip, and sure enough, there was a sore spot exactly where he said there would be.
“A biopsy?” My dad said, as he moved forward in his seat. “But I thought you only did those to check for…”
He didn’t finish his sentence. Instead the blood drained from his face once more, and he looked like he was going to be sick.
“To check for what?” Flick asked, as she stood up from her seat and walked closer to the bed. “What do you think is wrong with her?”
“Well, we are still waiting for a couple of tests to come back,” he said, glancing at Flick briefly.
“But you know what’s wrong,” I said, knowing he was pretty sure what he was dealing with already. “So please, just tell me.”
“Cassie, as I said, I am still waiting for one or two tests to come back,” the doctor confirmed. “But everything that has come back so far indicates that you may have Acute Myeloid Leukaemia.”
“I have cancer?” I asked, the words sounding almost foreign coming from my mouth. “But you can operate? Just cut it out?”
“AML is a cancer of the blood and bone marrow,” Doctor Altman explained. “It’s a very aggressive form of Leukaemia so we need to get ahead of it as soon as possible.”
“But you’re going to fix it, right?” Dad asked, giving the doctor a pleading look. “There are treatments you can give Cassie to cure this.”
“We are going to try,” Doctor Altman replied, giving my Dad a reassuring smile, before he turned back to me. “I know this is very scary, but I promise we are going to do everything we can to fight this. We just need you to fight with us too.”
I nodded, but I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe much less form a word. I had cancer. I didn’t know how to feel, much less what to think. I just wanted my Dad to hold me and promise me that he will make it all better.
Doctor Altman explained that I was going to need to have a lumbar puncture and a CT scan so they could determine just how far the cancer had progressed. He talked about treatment plans and how much chemo I would need. He also talked about harvesting my eggs so I would still be able to have babies in the future, should I want them.
Babies! I thought to myself. I haven’t even lived yet, and now I am talking about children I might want down the line. It was all just so much to take in.
He used words I had never heard of before, but it didn’t really matter because I didn’t really hear anything he said. My brain focused on one thing and one thing only.
I have cancer! That thought spun around my head. I had fucking cancer!
“Cass,” my dad’s voice crashed into my head, pulling me from my thoughts. I hadn’t even realised that the doctor was no longer in the room. “Are you okay sweets? Stupid question I know.”
I looked at my dad and my heart almost broke when I saw the look on his face. I realised right at that moment, I needed to be strong for him. For the both of us.
“Yeah,” I replied, giving him the biggest smile I could. I glanced over at Flick who was sitting back in her chair, crying like her heart was breaking too. “Because everything is going to be okay. I am going to be okay. So, there is nothing to cry about.”
“We can beat this, Sweetheart,” he said, returning my smile, but still tears danced in his eyes. “We’ve got this. We’re in this together.”
I nodded but I couldn’t speak. I knew if I did, I would cry and right now, crying was not an option.
Dad explained that the doctor said he would schedule the rest of my test for that day, and then we would talk about treatment, and more importantly, getting me back home.
It was a little after four o’clock when I finally convinced Dad and Flick to leave me to get some rest and have something proper to eat. It had been a long, horrible day and I just needed a little time to myself.
The CT scan took forever but it was nothing compared to how hard getting the lumbar puncture was. Dad refused to leave the room while they were doing it. Instead, he sat and held my hands in his telling me for the millionth time that day that everything was going to be okay.
As they stuck the needle into my spine, I squeezed his hand, and pinched my eyes closed, but still I refused to cry. When it was finally over, I looked up at my dad. He smiled but I could see tears dancing in his eyes.
But now, my body felt like a giant pin cushion, and all I wanted to do was sleep and hope that I would wake up to find that it was all just a bad dream.
I had just closed my eyes when there was a soft tap on the door to my room. I opened my eyes to find Danny standing there, holding a beautiful bunch of flowers and looking like he wasn’t sure if he should be here or not. The moment our eyes met; he gave me the biggest smile as a look of relief settled on his face.
“Hi,” he said nervously, still looking a little unsure of himself.
“Hi,” I replied, pushing back up in my bed. “I can’t believe you came back.”
“Well, I had to see if you were okay,” he explained as he stepped further into the room. “I mean, I stayed last night until I knew you were out of danger, but I’ve been thinking about you all day and I needed to know how you were doing.”
“I’ve been better,” I replied giving him a smile as tears burned my eyes, but I quickly blinked them back.
“I’ve brought these for you,” he said closing the distance between him and the bed, as he held out the flowers.
“They’re beautiful,” I said, taking them from him and bringing them to my nose so I could smell them. They smelled beautiful. “Thank you, Danny.”
“So,” he said as he sat down on the chair next to the bed. “Are you okay? Because I was hoping we could have another go at our first date as soon as you busted out of this place.”
I smiled at his words and wished I could give him the response he wanted. He was such a sweet guy, and fun too. He was perfect, and for the first time, I could see myself falling for someone other than Evan. But he had his own life ahead of him, the last thing he needed was to be stuck with a sick girl he hardly even knew.
“Danny,” I began and released a long, tired breath.
“Why do I not like the way you said my name?” He asked, giving me a questioning look.
“You are probably the sweetest guy in the world,” I continued, giving him a sad smile. “And the truth is, last night I was having a wonderful time with you. You are someone I could have easily fallen for…”
“Please don’t say but,” he said, leaning forward in his seat.
“I know I don’t know what the hell is going on here, but the truth is; I’ve liked you for such a long time. I can’t believe that one failed date is all we’re meant to have.”
“Believe me,” I sighed, smiling once more. “You don’t know how much I want to say yes. But I’m sick; really sick it would seem, and I don’t know what the future holds for me. Right now, I don’t even know if I have a future. I can’t ask you to pin your future on maybe and what ifs for a sick girl. Besides, I need to concentrate on fighting this, whatever it is. I’m so sorry.”
He reached out and took hold of my hand.
“I can’t believe that we don’t get to see if we can live happily ever after,” he smiled sadly, squeezing my hand. “It just doesn’t seem very fair.”
“Who knows,” I said, trying to seem less upset than I was actually feeling. “Maybe if I kick this things ass, I just might call you for that date.”
“I will hold you to that,” he replied, giving me the most stunning smile that just broke my heart more. He rose slowly from his seat, looking a little unsure about what he should do next. “I guess I should be going.”
“I guess so,” I replied, smiling through the tears that were now burning my eyes.
He nodded, then turned to leave, but stopped. He hesitated for a moment before he turned back to face me. Then he moved back closer to the bed, then leaned down and softly kissed me on the lips.
“Take care of yourself, Cassie,” he whispered against my lips, before he kissed me once more. He stepped back from the bed, smiling once more, then he turned and headed towards the door.
Once I was alone again, I lay back down on my pillow and tried breathing deeply to regain control of my emotions. I sucked in two deep breaths, but as I blew out the second one, a sob escaped from deep inside me.
I quickly rolled onto my side and buried my face in the pillow before I finally let go of my tears.
I knew I needed to be strong. I knew crying was not going to beat this thing, but I was scared. Right now, tears were all I had left.
Chapter 4
Last Goodbye Page 3
