Cassie kissed me!
She actually kissed me, and I just stood there like some brain-dead asshole and let her walk away.
Okay she didn’t just walk away, she headed for the beach just like I knew she would. Just like she had done a million times before when we were kids.
I had just about pulled myself back together, having grabbed my bag and board from the jeep when I looked up and almost expired there and then.
Cassie had taken off her summer dress and was now wearing the most stunning bikini I’d ever seen, one that left little to the imagination.
For some strange reason, my first thought was, if her dad saw her right at that moment, he would have completely lost his shit. But then, once that strange thought had passed, I couldn’t help but notice just how incredibly hot Cassie was now.
I think it was at that exact moment, I realised that the skinny little kid I had spent almost every day of my childhood with no longer existed. Instead, she was the stunningly beautiful woman, who had the power to bring me to my knees.
As I stood there watching her as she ran towards the water, I prayed she wouldn’t turn around and spot the enormous wood I now had in my shorts.
FUCK!! I groaned, knowing that I needed to get to the cold water as quickly as I could.
I hurried down along the beach to where she’d left the blanket and her bag. I dropped my backpack next to it and took a deep steadying breath. I gripped my surfboard tighter before I hurried on towards the water. I’d just reached the edge of the water when she emerged from beneath the waves.
She gave me the biggest smile and beckoned for me to join her.
“Here goes nothing,” I muttered to myself before I raised my board and hurried into the water, jumping chest first onto my board once I was deep enough.
“OH MY, GOD!” She exclaimed with the biggest smile on her face as I paddled towards her. “I forgot how much I loved swimming in the ocean. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed coming here.”
“Well,” I said as I pushed myself up onto my board. “You just say the word and I will bring you here anytime.”
“You’re the best,” she grinned before she disappeared below the waves once more.
“Yeah,” I groaned to myself once she was out of earshot. “The best friend with the biggest erection any man has ever had.”
I knew today was going to be a very long day.
“You’re starting to burn,” Cassie sighed as she turned to her bag and pulled out a bottle of sun-cream. “Here, turn around and I will put some cream on your shoulders, before it gets too bad. Otherwise you’ll start to blister.”
After spending a couple of hours in the water, we’d just finished eating the packed lunch my mom had made for us.
“I’ll be okay,” I said, knowing that the moment she touched me, little Evan would spring back to life, and it had taken long enough to get him to calm down the last time. “I don’t need that stuff.”
“Oh, come on,” she giggled as she moved closer to me on the blanket. Thankfully she had put her summer dress back on, but still I was a mess of hormones and feelings that I just didn’t know how to handle. “Don’t be such a baby. I’m not going to hurt you.”
She kneeled up behind me and squirted some lotion into her hands. She rubbed her hands together before she placed them gently on my shoulders.
Putting sun-cream on me was something she’d done hundreds of times in the past, and it always felt like the most normal thing in the world. This time normal was the last thing it felt.
The moment her hands touched me, my whole body reacted, and instantly I was hard again.
“What was that?” She asked, clearly noticing my body react to her touch. “You’re not ticklish, are you?”
“Eh, no!” I laughed, trying not to react to her touch anymore.
“Are you sure?” She asked as she dropped her hands and poked me in the sides to tickle me again. This time my whole body jerked, and I couldn’t help but laugh. But also, my cock strained against my shorts even harder.
Jesus! I cried in my mind, knowing that one move in the wrong direction, and Cassie would see more than either she or I bargained for. This girl is going to kill me!
“You are ticklish!” She giggled as she tickled me again.
“Would you stop!” I laughed as I grabbed hold of her hands, moving suddenly, pulling her down to the blanket. I quickly climbed over her and began to tickle her instead.
“STOP! STOP!” She cried out as she laughed uncontrollably. “PLEASE! YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME PEE!”
I threw my head back and laughed out loud too as I climbed off her and slumped to the blanket next to her. Cassie turned over onto her side and gave me a smile that was beyond perfect.
“Thank you for today, Evan,” she said as she looked me straight in the eyes. It almost felt like she was looking into my soul. “It was exactly what I needed.
“It was my pleasure,” I replied, giving her a genuine smile. “I can’t believe I let you talk me into letting you ride on my surfboard. If your dad finds out I let you ride that thing, he will kick my ass.”
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” she replied, leaning into my arm, almost hiding behind it.
“You know you’re supposed to be taking it easy,” I said reaching up and brushing her hair back from her face.
“I’m tired of being treated like a glass doll,” Cassie sighed. “I’m not going to break.”
She looked up into my eyes, and something in her eyes had changed. A look I had never seen in her eyes before. A look that said she wanted something more from me than just an innocent kiss on the lips.
“Cass,” I breathed out, moving closer to her. There was nothing I wanted more than to kiss her at that moment, but I was scared. I knew if I kissed her, our friendship as it was would change and things would never be as they once were. I needed to know that this was what she wanted too.
“Evan,” she breathed out, moving her body closer to me.
“Are you sure that this is what you want?” I whispered, my lips barely inches from hers.
“Mmhmm,” she sighed as she closed her eyes, waiting for my lips to meet her.
Suddenly, the heaven opened, and heavy rain began to hit down, quickly soaking everything that was on the blanket, including us.
Cassie screamed as we both jumped up.
“You need to get to the jeep now,” I yelled at I started to gather our things. I thought that her getting soaked was the last thing she needed. I knew the chemo would have weakened her immune system, and I was so scared she would get sick.
“I’m already wet,” she laughed as she too gathered up our things. “What’s the point?”
I knew she was right, but still I wished for once she would just do what she was told without arguing with me first.
By the time we both got back to the car, we were both soaked to the skin. Her summer dress was soaked through and left the material completely see through, and once more, little Evan was wide awake. I reached into the back and grabbed the spare blanket my mom had insisted I bring with me.
“Here,” I said as I wrapped it around her. “This will keep you warm.”
“What about you?” She asked, looking up at me from underneath her long lashes. Her hair was soaked, as the water was trickling down her face from it, but as she looked up at me, I don’t think she’d ever looked more beautiful than she did right then.
“I’ll be okay,” I whispered, my lips barely an inch from hers. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
“Okay,” she breathes out and I knew she was waiting for me to kiss her. And I wanted to. I wanted to so bad, I could already taste her on my lips. But something stopped me. Maybe it was fear. Maybe I was afraid that if things went wrong this time, I would lose my best friend forever.
“Cass,” I sighed, knowing that I was being the biggest coward in the world. “We should get you home and out of those wet clothes.”
“Okay,” she sighed pulling back from
me suddenly, I knew instantly I’d made the biggest mistake of my life.
“Cassie,” I repeated, but she just turned and looked out the window, and I knew she was upset, so I didn’t say another word. Instead, I just started the engine and reversed out of my parking spot. I glanced over at her before I put the jeep into drive, but she didn’t even look at me.
FUCK!! I screamed silently in my head. You really are a fucking idiot.
The drive back home was very different than the drive to the beach. Neither of us said a single word. We didn’t even turn on the music.
The whole drive back, I scolded myself over and over in my head for being such a stupid asshole. She wanted me to kiss her. Hell, she’d even kissed me first. Why didn’t I just kiss her right then and there? Why did I have to be such a coward?
When we reached the house, I pulled my jeep in behind Will’s truck. I was a little surprised that he was home already, as he wasn’t expecting us to be home for a few hours yet. I switched off the engine and release a long breath before I turned to Cassie.
“Cassie,” I began, having no idea what I was going to say to her. I didn’t understand why I was getting everything so wrong between me and her.
“I had a nice time today,” she said, finally looking at me, and my heart sank when I realised that she had been crying. “Thank you for taking me to the beach, and for letting me use your surfboard.”
“It was my pleasure,” I replied as I tried to think of the right thing to say.
“I’m just going to go in and get dried up,” Cassie said as she pushed opened the door. “I’ll catch you later.”
“Cass!” I sighed, but she was out of the truck, heading for the house before I had time to even catch my breath. I jumped out and hurried after her; following her into the house. “Cassie, can you just wait a minute.”
But we both stopped when we heard voices coming from the living room.
“Ah, here she is now,” I could hear Will say, before he appeared in the doorway to the living room. “Cassie, sweetheart, you have a visitor.”
She walked towards the living room and I followed her, unsure if I should have just left there and then. But when I reached the door, I stopped dead in my tracks, as a sickening feeling settled in my stomach.
There, standing in the middle of the living room, looking both nervous and smug at the same time, was the guy from the hospital. The same one I had walked in on with Cassie the morning she was coming home.
“Danny!” Cassie exclaimed, looking almost as stunned as I was feeling right in that moment. “What are you doing here?”
“Well,” he began, sounding a lot less confident than he’d looked a few moments earlier. “It’s my Gram’s birthday. She lived a few blocks from here, and my Mom, my sister and me drove up to surprise her for her birthday. So, as I was in the neighbourhood, I thought I would stop by and see how you are doing?”
“Wow,” she replied, looking like she wished the ground would open up and swallow her right at that moment. “Well, that was very sweet of you.”
“It was nothing really,” he shrugged, and if I was honest, I almost felt a little sorry for the guy. He looked like a rabbit caught in headlights, right at that moment. “I wanted to see you again.”
Cassie glanced over at me, and for a moment her face was completely unreadable. I realised right at that moment I had completely blown my chances with her.
We had a moment, and I knew in my heart I should have kissed her, but I chickened out. Now this guy was here, having driven God knows how long just so he could see her again. Okay, he gave the bullshit story about his gram, but still he’d stepped up. While I had just acted like a giant asshole.
Realising I was beaten, I took a step back and released a long, frustrated breath.
“I…I’m going to go get changed,” I said suddenly unable to look at Cassie anymore.
“You’re coming back over, right?” Cassie asked, surprising me with her question.
“Actually, I’ve got some stuff I have to do,” I lied, knowing that Cassie would know I was lying too. “Besides, I don’t want to be in the way. You guys have fun.”
Without waiting for a reply, I turned and hurried towards the door, stepping back out into the pouring rain. I stood on the step for a moment, knowing I had just made the single biggest mistake of my life.
“FUCK!” I yelled up into the sky in sheer frustration, then I kicked over one of the potted plants sitting on the porch step.
Releasing a long, frustrated breath, I climbed down from the porch feeling like my world had come undone once more. I didn’t bother getting back in my jeep. Instead, I just turned and head down the pathway that led to the shortcut back to my house.
I had just reached the back porch to my house when Cassie’s voice called out from behind me.
I turned around and was stunned to find her standing there in the pouring rain, looking at me like I had lost my damn mind.
“Is that it?” She asked, giving me a questioning look. “After everything we’ve been through, after all the promises you made. You’re just going to walk away again?”
“Cass,” I sighed, as I walked back down the steps of my back porch. “You shouldn’t be out here in this rain.”
“Fuck the rain, Evan,” she snapped back. “What is it you want from me? Why did you come back?”
“I… I came back to be here for you,” I replied, stunned by her question.
“What does that even mean?” She exclaimed as tears spilled down her face, mixing with the rain. “If you came back to clear your conscience for being a shitty friend six years ago, then you’re off the hook. I never blamed you for what happened back then. Yes, I was angry at you, but I was the one that was too stupid to back down. I was the one that ruined our friendship because of my stupid pride. So, if that’s why you came back, you can go back to San Francisco with a clear conscience. I’m done playing games.”
She turned and started back along the path.
“Cassie!” I yelled, stopping her in her tracks. “Do you really think that I came back because I felt guilty?”
“I don’t know what to think, Evan.” she sobbed without turning back to look at me.
“I came back because I love you,” I blurted out, knowing I needed to be honest right now, or I would never get the chance again. “I’m in love with you Cassidy North. I always have been.”
She turned to face me, a look of complete shock on her face.
“I’m in love with you, Cass,” I repeated, this time in a gentler voice, as I took a step closer to her.
“Then why didn’t you kiss me?” She asked, tears streaming down her face.
“Because I was afraid,” I admitted honestly. “Cassie, I already lost you once. I can’t lose you again. I was afraid if we crossed that line and it didn’t work out, I would lose my best friend all over again.”
“I see,” she said, looking completely heartbroken.
“But you know what I think right now,” I said, walking towards her slowly, closing the distance between us. “Fuck the line.”
Without wasting another moment, I pulled her into my arms and kissed her like I’d never kissed another girl. Cassie melted into my arms and kissed me back. The kiss was everything I imagined it would be. I knew right then that whatever happened now, I would never love anyone the way I loved Cassie North.
Chapter 13
Cassie
It was a little over two weeks since my last chemotherapy session and I was feeling pretty good. I still got tired a lot, but I rested when I could, ate healthily and did everything I was told to do by the doctor, so I felt better than I had in a while.
The fact that I was the happiest I’d ever been in my entire life was definitely a bonus.
Despite everything that was going on in my life, being with Evan was like a dream come true. There was only one slight little hiccup that was weighing on my mind a lot. We still hadn’t taken things further than kissing, and the longer it went, the more
worried I was that maybe Evan was having second thoughts about being with me.
Even though Evan told me every day how much he loved me, there was a tiny part of me that was worried that he might still be unsure about his feelings for me.
The day Evan and I came back from the beach, I thought my world had fallen to pieces once more. When Evan walked out of my father’s house, I thought that I had somehow managed to screw up my friendship with him once more. I should have never kissed him.
But then he told me he loved me, and I felt like all my dreams had finally come true.
Of course, we had to go back to my dad’s house, and I had to break the news to Danny that I was with Evan now. Danny took it well, but I could see the disappointment in his eyes. He asked if he could check in on me from time to time, and I of course said he could. But deep down, as I watched him drive away from the house that night, something told me that I would never see him again.
That night, when I went to bed, I don’t think I’d ever felt happier in my entire life. I had just finished brushing my teeth and was walking back into my bedroom, when there was a soft tap on my bedroom window.
Smiling to myself, I hurried to the window and pulled back the curtain. My smile grew wider when I saw Evan’s face pressed to the glass. The moment he saw me, his smile widened.
“Oh my, God!” I exclaimed as I pulled up the window and stepped back to let him climb inside. “Have you lost your damn mind?”
“I think I have,” he chuckled as he stood up straight. When he did, he instantly reached out and he pulled me into his embrace. “But it was so worth it just to see your face again. Besides, I missed you already.”
“You just left here thirty minutes ago,” I laughed looking up into his eyes.
“Yeah,” he said pulling me tighter to him. “But I didn’t get to do this before I left.”
Before I could reply, Evan claimed my lips with his as one of his hands slowly moved up to the back of my head, holding me closer as his kiss deepened. His other hand slipped around my body, making sure I couldn’t get away.
As he kissed me, a wave of pleasure washed over my body as I slowly melted into his arms. Once more, his kiss was perfect and everything I had ever imagined it would be.
Last Goodbye Page 11
