by L M Lacee
‘My fault, this is all my fault.’
‘How?’ Heather asked as the wound started to close. Melody kept her eyes on Netta as she told Heather what had happened. She and Lukkas were coming back from training when they had come upon a half dressed, tattooed Hawk crouching in the passageway.
She had done the one thing Peyton told them to refrain from doing, she had approached him. Something must have spooked him and by the time she understood he did not recognize her, it was too late, he attacked her. Then as Warriors arrived, all hayda broke loose and her friend and brother became this creature.
Heather looked around, Patty was treating Lukkas who had a sword cut to his stomach and another to his head which had caused him to become unconscious. Only Harm and Sedeen remained unharmed as they had arrived later than everyone else. Other Warriors remained farther back restrained by Dinas’s order not to engage with Hawk. Heather watched her sister fight for her life and saw her mate’s body tense, she knew in that instant he had decided to join the fight. She desperately wanted to call out to him to stop him doing so. But as she clutched her hand around the scanner she heard Netta sob in a breath which forced the words to stop on her tongue and her eyes to close against the pain in her heart.
Where are you Peyton, what is keeping you, hurry… hurry!
Netta was cut and bleeding, she knew the only thing holding her up and making each stab and slice possible was her Rie.
Peyton please hurry!
Harm and Sedeen stood ready, their faces resolved, they would be the next line of defense. As good as they both were, even with the help Dinas could offer with his wounds. They knew they were no match for the Elite. Their only hope was that Netta would be able to drive him into the cabin but as they watched her duck and sway, move from left to right, dip under his sword, it was not looking good. They could see she was tiring.
Netta slashed cuts along his stomach and arms sliced at his legs gaining and losing ground with each strike. He moved like lightning and she knew he toyed with her, his face was made from stone and his eyes blazed with madness. She knew at any min he could take her life, in desperation she pleaded with him.
‘Hawk my brother, if you are in there, listen to my voice. Hear my words. I am not your enemy; we are not your enemy. We are family, I am the sister of your heart, your Rie tells you this, and your heart tells you this. Come back to us please.’
Dinas yelled. ‘Listen to her brother, listen to your heart, please listen my brother.’
Netta grunted as Hawk’s sword sliced her ribs, she wheezed, as more blood started to flow from the wound.
‘Feel me Hawk, see what is happening, this is not you. Feel me!’ She screamed as his sword just missed her throat by a hair’s breadth.
Hawk pulled his strike as her words penetrated the fog around his thoughts, his mind cleared of the madness. ‘Netta?’
His Netta, what was happening he could not kill her, she was the sister of his heart, but she fought him, why? Was she insane, was she under someone’s control, he would stop her but he would not take her life. Then he would punish those that thought to use his sister against him, they would all die. Netta would live she was vital to his survival, he knew this on every level of his being. He must fight, he must protect, he roared out his warning to all who could hear. He would fight, but he would not take her life, his sister would not die by his sword. He fought on as the fog overshadowed his mind once more.
Netta looked into the face of a male she loved and realized all the hatred, the fear, the recriminations she had carried for so long were gone. Her past was left behind and as the Rie once more rose up to strengthen her arms, she knew she could not die. To do so by Hawk’s hand would break him, her Rie told her so. Some part of her saw with clarity that he would never forgive himself if he killed her. His needar would wither away and he would never be the Hawk they had come to love and admire. So she fought for her life, for his life and most of all for the freedom he had unknowingly given her, from a past that had haunted and shadowed her life.
With renewed determinism she pushed him slowly toward Dinas, and then the shadows came. They swallowed up the passageway, long fingers of gray mist wrapped around Hawk and dragged him forcible into the cabin. Netta followed, knives at the ready, only to see him in the corner still fighting with rage and savagery in every line of his body.
Peyton was here.
Her hair streamed behind her like ribbons of starlight as she hurried along the passageway. Netta smiled, she looked like an avenging angel, though she was shorter than what she remembered seeing in the book, still the look suited her.
Darby ran into the room followed by healers, Netta swayed as Darby grabbed her. ‘Lean on me knife girl, I have you.’ She yelled at Peyton over her shoulder. ‘Where were you? She could have been killed. They all could have been. What took you so long?’
Peyton did not answer, her hands were shaking at how close they had all come to death. She looked around at the wounded and Netta, bloody and half unconscious from blood-loss and to Hawk standing crazed in the corner. Dearle stars she had really screwed this up.
Her delay was unintentional but to tell Darby that she had been attacked in her cabin when she had returned from another look around the ship. Would upset an already volatile situation. So she chose to say nothing instead she mind-sent to Harm, Sedeen and Rave.
I was attacked in my cabin by one of the nannies she is locked in the closet. Can you go and place her in the brig please? Have Malchol with you. She is out of her mind. I think someone has been tampering with her? Do not speak of this. We will talk later. Do what you can please. They both started to come to her, and she shook her head. They will see.
They halted in the doorway, as they heard a roar from Rave. He and two Prowlers appeared, he was pissed and dared her to argue with him. They will remain with you. To the Prowlers he ordered. Guard her well, suspect everyone, and do not let her out of your sight. My bonded, I will go with you and see if I can detect anything. I have notified Mystic Malchol, and he will meet us there.
Thank you my bonded. Harm asked Peyton. Are you alright, were you hurt?
No, I am alright.
Liar.
How do you know?
You do it so badly. Sedeen told her with a grin.
Oh go away.
Have Heather check you or I will. Harm admonished.
Nag… Nag!
They turned as one, expressions of death in their eyes and anyone looking at the brothers would see why the Solverea family were so feared. They raced away with Rave on their heels as she asked. Do you need the pass code for my cabin?
They laughed in reply.
Dayam Assaens.
THIRTY-NINE:
Hawk crouched in the corner with shadows surrounding him, he sent out his senses and felt nothing. There was nothing beyond the shadows. What desoul had done this to him, he was encased inside darkness, was he now shadow?
He stood and stabbed and slashed at the shadows; he fought his fight and gained a fraction of clarity. Rubbing his hands over his face, hoping for this nightmare to end, he saw he was in a room; it was a cabin. He shook his head as he tried to remember; he was on a ship, they all were, it was a rescue mission. He had been fighting with swords and knives, flashes of a female’s face came and went so fast. Knives slashing, slicing skin, his, hers, everyone’s.
Had he killed them, he felt the blood on his skin and knew they had done something to him. No longer could he kill with his blood, his body had been nullified. When had this happened, who did this to him? He screamed to the Stars. ‘You did this!’
His memory was hazy, the swords and the knives, those he saw, those he remembered. He touched his head, and the fog returned, swallowing his thoughts as his body burned. Again he slashed at the blades as they came for his face. Who was it he fought, what of Esther and his ladies, what of Peyton?
‘PEYTON!’ He roared her name and only shadows answered him. He cocked his head to the side and listened
, did he hear her?
‘Dearle Hawk. I am here, she is coming. All will be well. Hold my Hawk… hold.’
The shadows closed in on him again. Shaking the blood from his eyes, he gripped his sword in both hands, slashing at enemies he could only see while he roared. ‘Lies, no one has come. Shadows lie, no one is here. You took it from me.’
Peyton pleaded with him to no avail. ‘No, my Hawk, the Star Child removed the venom, please Hawk?’
He roared and moved within the shadows in a graceful dance of death. ‘You lie, the Stars lie. My heart is dead. I am darkness. I am shadow, I am death!’
Peyton called to him. ‘No you are not. I have caged you in shadow; you were a little off.’
‘Lies! All lies, shadows lie.’ He tried looking through the gloom, where was Salmah. Had the shadows taken his bonded, he felt for her within his mind and roared his pain of loss to the world.
‘What the hayda happened, where were you, what do we do?’ Asked Melody as she limped into the cabin.
‘Nothing, Karen will be here soon.’ Peyton told her and ignored the other questions.
‘Karen, what the hayda does she have to do with this?’
Darby gasped out. ‘He looks deranged?’
‘Because he is.’ Dinas growled as he entered. His arm, like Melody’s leg, healing, the slashes and broken ribs would take a spin in the regenerator but that could wait. ‘He has morphed into a realm of madness. I cannot reach him.’
As I cannot. Salmah said as she entered the room. Our bond has been broken.
Peyton smoothed her head as she said. ‘Hush now Salmah, your bond is not broken, just caged in shadows, all is not lost. He is trapped but we will have him back shortly, watch a miracle at work.’
Karen entered the cabin with Esther. She looked around with dull, lifeless eyes. ‘Greetings Peyton, you asked for me?’
‘Yes, you are needed.’
Esther held her hand and walked her further into the room. Neither of them could miss the half-naked Warrior in the corner. Karen demanded to know. ‘Dearle stars, what has happened to him?’
Hawk looked like a savage. He had symbols all over his body, they seem to appear from under his skin. He was standing in the corner snarling with a wild look in his eyes, he held a sword in his hand dripping with blood. Dinas and Melody stood guard as Netta leaned on Darby, blood also dripping from her knives.
Shocked at the state of Netta, Esther asked. ‘You fought him Netta?’
Peyton said. ‘She fought to defend others; he is not himself and has not been for some time. Today he broke free of his controls and Netta held him, so I could get him in here away from everybody.’
Esther said. ‘Oh dearle stars Netta. Heather what is she still doing here?’
Heather ignored her question instead saying to Netta. ‘Come to medical please Netta. Knife is there and scared almost beyond reason. He is terrified you are dead, he says he can no longer feel your bond. Come help him please.’
Netta nodded, unable to speak as her pain sensors came back on line, when her Rie settled just enough for her to realize she was hurting.
Peyton told Heather. ‘She has closed the door on their bond and will reopen it when she does not feel any more pain. Tell Knife his Mama is protecting him.’
‘Okay.’ With the help of Melody and Darby, she got Netta onto an air floater, then she and Patty were running with her to the transfer circle and into medical.
Once she was gone, Melody asked. ‘Jax, you got everything on vid right?’
I did.
‘Thank the stars. That was just so freaking cool.’
Darby scowled at her, ‘Really, so freaking cool. She could be dead, it was close.’
‘Nah, Netta had him.’ Melody looked over at Dinas to see him nodding in agreement. ‘I had credits on her, but if he asks. I was betting on him.’
‘Oh my stars, you were betting.’ Darby almost screeched.
Dinas said. ‘It was she who backed him to the cabin after some amazing knife work. He will not like it but he was out classed.’ Several Warriors nodded in agreement before they were loaded onto floaters and taken for treatment.
Melody said. ‘I have never seen sword or knife work like it before, it was so fast.’
Esther asked. ‘What brought this on? Does anyone know?’
Peyton nodded. ‘This is what happens when the First Commander, an Elite denies his happiness and refuses the mating call because he thinks he will hurt his mate. She is so precious to him he worries she would never forgive or understand the decisions he made in the past and will make in the future. He believes he will not be enough for her, is he right, Karen?’
Karen heard Peyton say her name but she could not take her eyes from the male in the corner, she knew it was Hawk but not like she remembered him. Her needar sang for him, she wanted to reach out and touch him, to soothe his rage, to lead him from the shadows, to show him the way to her heart. Without thought and only instinct as her guide, she walked to where he stood.
Melody’s hand automatically reached for her until Peyton held her still. ‘Watch a miracle happen.’
Karen’s voice, when it came, was full of light and danced on the air, piercing the shadows surrounding Hawk. ‘I thought if I went to Halcyon, it would help… It did not. I went to Terra to find relief… I did not. I came back to Prime in the hope I would find what was disturbing me… I did not. I cannot hold a thought for longer than a few mins and now I do not believe my own mind. I find I cannot sleep, and if I can find respite, I wake in tears. My heart races at different times of the night and day. I find myself reaching for something or someone that is not there. And all this time it was YOU!’ She yelled as she came face to face with the madman. Before anyone realized what she was going to do, she slapped him causing his head to bounce off the wall.
Peyton hissed. ‘Now that has got to hurt.’
Esther and Dinas winced as Melody said. ‘Wow, sucker hit.’
Darby sympathized. ‘Didn’t see that coming?’
The sword dropped from his blood soaked hand as he took Karen’s face in both hands and studied her face. His eyes cleared as the madness left him and suddenly his hearts started to beat together for the first time in his long life. The gray mist of despair that had plagued him for luneras finally lifted. He searched his needar for the well of anger he had lived his life with and found nothing. ‘I am sorry my heart, to deny you was to deny myself. I have caused you pain, when I sought to protect you from that very thing. I beg you to forgive me, forgive my arrogance. I have not lived until now, I have not loved until now. I am yours from now until the Universe goes dark and shadows fill my hearts and needar.’
She placed her hand on the cheek she had slapped and whispered. ‘I am yours for now and eternity, we will go into the shadows together, my heart, my love.’ She cried. ‘Oh my Hawk, what have you done to yourself?’
‘I am an Elite; this is what it means to deny an Elite, forgive me.’
‘You know I do.’
Hawk slid down the wall as though all the energy had filtered from his body and his head fell back. Karen curled up on his lap and then they were gone in a flash of starlight. Peyton told everyone. ‘They are in his cabin. Karen should be able to heal him with a med scanner and hopefully they will do the deed.’
‘The deed!’ Darby screeched.
‘You know you are very screechy and judgee. I think you really are in desperate need of…’
‘Do not say it.’ She yelled at her. ‘I am still angry, you took so long. Miss take all day to get somewhere.’ With that she stomped from the room.
Peyton looked at the people remaining and sadly shook her head. Salmah asked. Beloved, my bonded, he is well now?
Peyton held her face between her hands. ‘I know you cannot feel him. I am blocking you for now, he and Karen need a few hours together. I will release the block I swear but until then go with Esther, she will comfort you, as you will her. She is not showing it but she is very ups
et, she thought he was lost to us.’
As did I.
‘You are a serene being, Salmah. You did not fail your bonded, there was nothing you could do.’ She told the room at large. ‘None of you could do anything. I am sorry, I really am, but I thought he would realize a lot sooner what was happening. I miscalculated, I believed he would let go and call her to him. I did not realize his honor was holding him back.’ She took a breath and said softly. ‘She would have died as he would have for the sake of his fear that she could never love him.’
‘Why did you allow it to go on so long?’ Dinas snapped, adrenalin and anger losing his tongue. ‘Surely as the Star Daughter you should have known or felt he was getting out of control. This was unnecessary. I lay the blame for this at your feet. My brother could have died. Netta could have died. What were you hoping to prove?’
Peyton paled and stepped back from his anger, Melody placed herself slightly in front of her as the enraged Elite’s features twisted into rage. She held her hand up and urged him. ‘Think Dinas, think before you say anything else that you cannot take back.’
Dinas shifted from foot to foot as he looked from Melody to Peyton and saw something he had forgotten with his harsh words. She was so very young and as her eyes bravely held his, he saw her heart break.
With that one look all the anger seeped from him and his shoulders dropped. Melody stepped away when she saw his body soften and the expression on his face change to sorrow.
Peyton nodded as she agreed. ‘You are right. I thought I could control it. I am so very sorry I was wrong.’
Dinas saw the pain of her admission and for once in his considerable life, he stuttered. ‘I... I…’
Esther stepped between them and halted anymore words. ‘Enough, Hawk is just a typical male. We all could have told him, especially Salmah and I, that he is very lovable.’
Salmah said. He is Lady Esther, why did he not come to us?
Esther rubbed Salmah’s head as she said. ‘My Harry was proud like that.’ She hugged Peyton. ‘Go see her you need to renew the binding and do not growl too much, she is in pain.’
