by Tina Marie
“Yea, nigga, like what? Yo’ ass don’t even know anyone in the Chi yet. And give me Cayane check, I will drop it off to her.”
Ignoring him, I put the check in my back pocket and hopped in his whip. “Like I said nigga, I got something to do.”
“Don’t forget you need to meet Narvelle and Dizzy at four.”
I didn’t even bother to respond. I wasn’t thinking about those bitch made niggas. I could tell from jump those motherfuckers were on some other shit, and I didn’t trust them at all. My cousin kept telling me they were his top generals, and I kept wondering since when did he become so blind. At the moment, I had something else on my mind. “What happened to her son?”
Nicco’s hands gripped the steering wheel and a look of rage crossed his face. I felt it deep inside that whatever he was about to say was going to piss me off. I was one of those niggas that had a short fuse and I was ok with that. “He was in a car accident when he was a baby.” The nigga turned up the music after that, trying to end the conversation. Little did he know, I wasn’t there yet.
Turning his shit off, I crossed my hands under my chin and chose my words carefully. “Yo’ son, you already know how I am. You gonna come at me with that whack ass answer but over there looking like someone shit in ya morning coffee. What the fuck really happened?”
“Why the fuck do you care?” He asked, narrowing his eyes and mugging me.
“Watch the fucking road nigga and don’t worry about me.”
“Look, it was some foul shit that happened to him. It’s not really my story to tell, but his pops did that shit to him. Cayane caught him cheating on her with a girl he told her was his cousin. She went home to pack up her stuff and leave. His punk ass came home to stop her but, when she wouldn’t back down, he lost it. He snatched Kah up, put him in the car, and drove head on into traffic.”
I felt my eyes buck when he told the last part. It wasn’t a lot of shit that surprised me or fucked with my head anymore. But, I knew this was going to keep me up at night. “You got at this nigga, right?”
He shook his head as we finally made it back to his crib so I could get my own shit. “I fucked him up, but he still breathing.”
I swear, I could barely look at this cat. “Fuck you mean he still breathing? You know what, let me get the fuck outta here before I bust ya shit open.” Slamming his door, it took a lot for me to walk away. I didn’t even know why I was so fucking mad about some shit that had nothing to do with me. But I was. That’s Nicco whole fucking God son and he let his whack ass pops live. Hopping in my Range, I grabbed the blunt I had already rolled and lit up. I needed it to clear my head.
Driving back to the area where the cell phone shop was, I parked on the other side of the street a few blocks up. Sitting in my truck, I ignored the calls from Dizzy and sat back to wait. Eventually, I saw exactly who I was looking for. Throwing the hood over my head, I jogged across the street. Before Troy’s bitch ass could put the key in the door of his run down car, I blasted his ass.
Thinking about the deep scar on Kah’s face made me put an extra bullet in his ass, just because. I really wanted to blast lil man’s pops, but I didn’t know who that nigga was, yet. But he was next.
Chapter Six
Cayane
Shaking my head at Chaos’ crazy ass, I got me and my baby in my car and pulled away. I drove out to the Jewel’s closest to my place and then parked. I turned to Kahlan. “Okay baby, mommy is going to take you inside and get some medicines that will help you to feel better.” He just nodded his head slowly. His eyes were so watery, and I hated to see my little man that way. I swear, I felt like a bad mom because he had to wait all this time to get the stuff that would make him feel better. “I need you to give me the money that the man gave you,” I instructed. He reached into his pocket and handed the cash to me. I counted out ten crisp hundred dollar bills. That was more than my check would have been, and I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath.
“I didn’t ask for it Lord, but thank you. I won’t spend it all, and when I see him again, I will give the rest back to him,” I said and then opened my door.
I walked around and got my baby out before I hurried us inside of the store. I grabbed the medications that I needed and got a few food items. Making sure to grab some Pedialyte pops, I prayed my bill didn’t exceed a hundred bucks. I wanted to give Chaos back as much of his money as I could. Seeing my final total, I sighed; since I got the name brand stuff, it was closer to two hundred dollars. I paid and drove home.
As soon as I got inside, I got my baby back into his pajamas and gave him some meds. I fed him some soup and he drank some orange juice. I read him a couple of his favorite stories and soon, he was fast to sleep. I kept checking on him every fifteen minutes and I thanked God when his fever had finally gone down. I kissed him gently and then went to fix myself something to eat. As soon as I sat down with my BLT and chips, there was a knock on my door. I looked at the clock and wondered who’d be at my door because I’d normally be at work at this time.
I went and peeped out the peephole and it was him. “You gotta be fucking kidding me?” I said. “How on earth did he find where the fuck I live,” I wondered out loud. Thinking about it, I made a mental note to cuss Nicco the fuck out for telling him where I lived because that was the only way he could have known.
He knocked again, this time sounding like he was about to break my damn door down. “Shit!” I said and opened the door.
“Whassup,” he said.
“Whassup! What are you doing here? How did you know how to find me?” I questioned. Feeling my arms cross over my chest, I knew I had an attitude.
“Calm down shawty, I ain’t come to cause no problems.”
“Ha, I doubt that!” I shot back.
“You know you cute when you act like a bitch,” he said with a smirk on his face.
“A bitch, muthafucka you can-,” I tried to say, but he shut me up quick. He pushed me further into the house and kissed my lips before I could complete my sentence. His mouth tasted like spicy cinnamon and his lips were soft. He ended the kiss by biting the shit out of my lip.
“Excuse you!” I yelled, looking at him like he had lost his mind. Making sure I stepped back, I had to stop my heart from racing. His lips did something to me and I could barely think straight.
“Yo shorty, bring all that noise down. I mean, I didn’t come here for all that nonsense,” he said as he walked further inside like it was his crib.
I rolled my eyes and then shut the door. “Then, why are you here?”
“I got something for you,” he said, pulling my paycheck from his back pocket and handing it to me.
Grabbing it in disbelief, I had to ask how he pulled this off. “You got my check? How?”
“Look, don’t worry ‘bout all that. I’m a man, so don’t question me. I started to quit for you, but I figured I’d let you do the honors.”
“Quit for me? Why would you think I was quitting my fucking job?” The thought of being without an income had me in a panic. My palms were sweating and all.
“Because you got lil man and I know Ashlee is yo’ best friend, so you don’t need that whack ass job. I’m sure they got ya back.”
“Yo ass don’t know me and you don’t know what I need or who is there for me. You are something else; you have no manners or anything, you just do what the fuck you feel like.”
He looked around and then sucked his teeth. “You right lil momma, I don’t know you, but I know Nicco and Ash well enough to know that yo’ ass don’t need to be living in this fucked up neighborhood.”
“I grew up in this neighborhood and so did Ash, so I’m good.”
He held up his hands. “I’m sure you are, but this ain’t about yo’ ass.”
“Well, who is it about, since you know so much?” I folded my arms across my chest.
“It’s about your shorty. I can see you love him, so do him and yourself a favor and let somebody help you.”
I got an
attitude real quick. My son was a sensitive subject, especially with all he had been through. “What makes you think that I need so much help? My place ain’t in the best neighborhood, but it’s mine and I don’t owe anyone shit for it, and my son is well taken care of. Look around,” I said with an arm motion. “Does my place look fucked up? My place is clean, rodent free, and I’m doing the best that I can with what I have to raise my son. If I don’t take shit from his father, what the fuck makes you think I’d take anything from anyone else?” I snapped.
He nodded. “Look, I just came to check on lil man and give you yo’ check. As a matter of fact, where he at,” he said, shoving me to the side. He walked in the back of my apartment until he made his way to Kahlan’s room. He stood there watching him sleep for a few minutes. His intense gaze focused on his rising and falling chest. Slowly, he reached his hand out to feel his forehead and I felt something inside of me shift. I swear, I didn’t want to feel anything for this asshole, but he was making it hard.
“You right ma, this yo’ shit and it’s nice up in here for real. But, yo’ son can’t play outside, even in the day time. Now, you can be as stubborn as you want, but let me tell you something,” he said, walking up on me. He got in my face and I wanted to step back, but my feet wouldn’t move. I had visions of him kissing me again. The scent of his cologne hit my nostrils. I didn’t know what was happening; I wanted to be angry, but I wanted to throw him down on the floor and fuck the shit out of him. “Pride is a bitch,” he said, breaking the silence, and I was jolted back to the conversation. “If you don’t get the fuck out of here for you, do it for your son.”
I swallowed hard and stuck to my guns. “We are good,” I whispered. This motherfucker was fine as fuck and that mean ass attitude of his did turn me on. I felt my pussy jump. It had been too long since I had had a dick inside of me and, if he stayed, I may have to pull a Darcy.
“Cool,” he said and took a step back. I exhaled and just stared at him.” I can see he is doing better, so I won’t hold you up. Did you get him medicine?”
“I did and that reminds me,” I said and hurried off to the kitchen. I went into my purse and retrieved the eight hundred dollars that was left. “Here is the rest of your money.” I stretched out my hand to him, but he just looked at it.
“Naw, I gave that to Kah. Keep it for him.”
“But, we don’t need it,” I said, trying to convince him.
“I know, but I want you to have it,” he said and just like that, he made his exit. I ran to the window and watched him climb into a Range Rover.
“Fuck!” Why did he have to be so fucking fine? I was done with street niggas, but that muthafucka right there made my pussy cream. I shook my head after he pulled away and then, I looked down at the money. I now had money to do way more than my check would have allowed me too. Although I didn’t want to feel grateful, shit, I was. I sat back and thought about moving for Kah’s sake. It did make sense, but I never wanted to feel like I had taken a handout. My momma taught me to be self-sufficient and independent, since she turned her back on me when I got pregnant young. I learned the hard way that as soon as I trusted a man to have my back, I was played.
I had put all of my trust in Juice and, when I was kicked out of my parents’ house, I moved in with him. It was nice at first and I was living pretty well and, at one point, I was happy. Once I had Kahlan, that’s when Juice started really acting a fool. I was always home alone and I thought once Kah started sleeping through the night, he’d settle his ass down and get some sense. But, this nigga kept hoes on the side, front, and back of him and lied about everything. I dealt with it because I couldn’t run back to my parents, and moving in with Ashlee wasn’t an option. I tried to ignore his behavior, but I loved him so much; the pain eventually started to break me down.
I still think back to the day I decided to leave in horror. I remember the sound of the tires screeching and horns blaring. Most of all, I remember seeing my son lying on the pavement with blood everywhere. The only reason why Juice still had life in his body was because I begged Nicco not to execute his ass. I remembered pleading with Nicco, making him vow not to kill him. He was still Kah’s father, and one day when Kah was old enough to understand, I wanted him to make the decision whether he wanted to know his father or not. His death would be too much on my conscience, so Nicco agreed to let him live.
They fucked him up really bad though. They left him barely alive. Hearing my cell phone ring, it pulled me out of my thoughts. I went over to answer it and smiled when I saw Ashlee’s name on the screen. I swiped to answer as I put the money from Chaos back in my purse.
Chapter Seven
Ashlee
“Hey, how is Kah,” I asked as soon as Cay answered. Nicco had filled me in on what had transpired at her job this morning and, as soon as I got off with him, I dialed her.
“Hey Ash, he’s better. His fever has gone down.”
“That’s good to hear,” I said.
“Yes, I was going to take him to the emergency room if the Motrin didn’t work.”
“Well, thank God it did.”
“It did,” she said and then, I heard her chewing.
“So, I called you about this eventful moment this morning at the store. Nicco told me what happened.”
“Oh my Lord Ash, it was crazy. First, bitch ass Darcy was playing games with me and girl, if I didn’t need my job and Kah wasn’t with me, I would have punched that bitch dead in her throat.”
“Well, I wish I would have been with you, I’da punched that bitch for you.”
“Girl,” she said.
“And how do you know Chaos?” I asked.
“Ash, that was the motherfucker I told you about that came into the store yesterday. The fine ass, ignorant ass nigga that threw his damn phone at me.”
“Get the fuck outta here,” I said, shocked.
“Yes, girl but, as rude as he was, he stepped up for me today.”
“Yeah, I heard that he knocked Travis ass out and kicked his ass in the head in front of everyone.”
“Yeah, that bitch called my baby Scarface and that set it off. Nicco walked in after the commotion. And with the both of them, I knew Travis’ ass was grass. I mean, Chaos didn’t have to go hard for me like that, but I appreciated it. I thought for sure someone would call the cops, but no police showed before I got Kah up outta there and then he popped up at my house with my check.”
“Chaos came to your place?” I asked, shocked again by the words that came from the other end of my phone.
“Yes, girl, and he gave me a stack to get what I needed for Kah. I tried to give it back, but he wouldn’t take it. I mean, Ash, I’m so fucked up right now and conflicted.”
“How so?” I asked.
She let out a breath. “Now, you know I don’t keep shit from you,” she said.
“And you bet not ever,” I teased.
“I can’t if I tried,” she said.
“So, out with it. What’s on your mind?”
“I don’t want to admit it, but I’m a lil attracted to him Ash.”
“Awwwww shit!”
“Wait, wait, calm down and don’t get all amped because that doesn’t mean I’m going to go there. I’m just being honest. I mean, he is fine as fuck and his attitude is annoying as hell but turns me on in a weird way, and today, even though his delivery was arrogant, his words made sense.”
“Okay, what did he say to make you let down your prison walls? I mean, you’ve never uttered the words attracted to him since Juice and that was ages ago. I bet your hole has adhered itself together.”
“Very funny bitch,” she snapped, and we laughed. “Any who, he was just saying that I should consider moving Kah up outta this neighborhood. He made a valid point about him not being able to play outside, and I have had to put his headphones on him over a dozen times when I hear gun shots and shit rang out. I mean, maybe I can afford to move and, if I take you guys up on one of your rentals, I’d still want to pay rent.�
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“Finally!”
“Finally what?”
“Finally, you listen to somebody. I mean, let me fill you in on Chaos.”
“Please do.”
“He has a tough exterior, but he is a gentle giant. He roars and talk a lot of shit, but he loves his family and will do time, die, or whatever. He and Nicco are like brothers and he is a hardcore hood thug, that I won’t deny, but he don’t wife up or cuff bitches at all because he ain’t never been tied down by one woman that I can remember. As a matter of fact, he has mommy issues like a mother fucker, which may explain a lot. Now that he knows you are my girl and best friend, if he tries to get at you, it will be genuine. Chaos wouldn’t hurt family and Nicco already told him who you and Kah are to us, so you don’t have to worry about him, Cay,” I said. I knew how close Nicco and Chaos were and they were always on the up and up with each other.
“Well, thank you for that Wikipedia Ash.”
“You’re welcome bitch,” I laughed.
“I don’t know Ash. I mean, I would love to give love and romance and relationship shit a try, but Juice put a hurting on my heart and I don’t think I can take pain like that ever again.”
“Cay, Chaos ain’t shit like Juice and he wouldn’t hurt his kid, or any one that he loves. If anything, he’d protect you with his life. That’s the kinda man he is. He is loyal to those he loves.”
“Well, it doesn’t matter because after our conversation today, I don’t think he’ll be checking me anyway.”
“Why do you think that?”
“Because we both are too arrogant Ash. I mean, his mean ass and my mean ass, it would be a constant battle.”
I laughed. “I agree but, if there’s anyone I’d love to see you with, it would be him. Ca’Shon does have a soft side. He doesn’t show it much, but he does. He is very kindhearted Cay and if you can get past his outer surface, you’d see.”
“Shiiiddd, girl, his ass is like Shrek. That would be a lot of damn layers to peel away. He is an arrogant asshole.”
I agreed. I’d seen him in asshole mode a time or two. “That’s true, but you have to get to know him to understand him.”
