Avery let all of Vivi’s warmth and affection wash through her, letting it into those nooks and crannies of guilt, sorrow, and confusion that she hadn’t been able to completely fill over the years since her parents’ deaths. She’d learned that much, to let love in from friends, friends who’d become family. That kind of love she’d risk anything for. But relationships, partnerships, of the romantic variety…those were entirely different. “I like observing,” she said, trying to find the right words to explain her feelings. “I like figuring things out,” she told Vivi quietly. “I honestly saw Ben and Chey and thought, bingo!” She smiled then, a wry little crook curving the corners of her mouth. “I’m all for watching my friends take the risks while I just take notes.” She let out a soft laugh. “I guess maybe I figured if I analyzed it enough, love—that kind of love—wouldn’t seem so fraught with danger to me. Like, if I understood it thoroughly, I’d navigate it better when it was my turn, know when to go all in, or cut ties and run.”
“Well, when you write that book, I’ll be your first sale, honey,” Vivi told her with a laugh.
Avery raised an eyebrow at that.
“I might be a sixty-seven-year-old broad, but I’m not dead. My best years are always ahead of me. And you girls have come to mean everything to me.” She winked then. “But there are some things only a man can provide. And I’d like to think I’m not done experiencing them quite yet.”
Avery grinned at that. “Well, maybe I should be setting you up with Ben, then. The two of you could travel the world together.”
“Oh, my traveling days are done,” Vivi said. “When I find a man, he’ll be coming to me, not the other way around.” Her smile was wide and bright, but Avery didn’t miss the flicker that passed through her eyes. “Been there, done that.” She let go of Avery’s hands and waved her own, gesturing to the room around them, setting the numerous bangles she wore on her wrists to jangling. “Got this house and farm instead of the T-shirt.”
“Vivi,” Avery said, smiling, but also feeling her heart squeeze for her friend.
“Which is wonderful, but one farm is all I can handle. I don’t want a man who will leave me things when he dies, sugar. I want a man who wants to be present with me while we’re living.”
They both laughed, then held each other’s hands again, squeezing before letting go, saying what needed saying with that touch, rather than trying to find the words. Avery knew Vivi wanted only her happiness. Unlike her parents, Vivi never presumed to tell Avery what she should or shouldn’t be doing—well, not in the same way, at any rate. Vivi had her opinions, as did Chey and Hannah. But that was just it. They were opinions, shared amongst friends. Not edicts passed down from on high.
Her mind went to Ben, as it did with annoying regularity. He had his own thoughts and ideas, too, and wasn’t afraid to share them. Rather than make Avery feel nervous, or defensive, or want to pull away, she’d instead found herself pulled right on in. Curious to know more, thinking what he had to say might expand her own thoughts on any given matter. It was incredible how much they shared, including their accelerated smarts, and all of that. He, better than anyone she’d ever met, understood that part of her, seemed to actually revel in it. He might not wear his intellectual curiosity so openly, being more low-key, but he never missed a thing with her, noticed all the small nuances, asked all the right questions. They were alike in so many ways, and yet total opposites in others.
It had seemed like a natural balance to her, like this kinetic sort of energy that bounced and arced between them. Friendly and teasing one moment, thick with sexual tension the next, then a more serious turn, sharing things they might not share so readily with someone they’d just met, then right back to teasing. And maybe the sexual tension was always there, simmering along. It just rose to a boil now and then. It was jangling, because it distracted her and made it hard to think in an orderly, organized way, while at the same time was possibly the most exciting thing she’d ever felt.
She could say with absolute certainty that she’d never, not once, wanted someone so…fully. Of course, his looks turned her on—she had a pulse. But it was so much more than that. Everything about him turned her on. It was like a full assault on her body and her mind, leaving her nothing left to compute with. Not that she even knew what to compute. When it came to how Ben Campbell made her feel, she simply had nothing to go on. How could she possibly rely on herself to make the right decisions?
“Avery,” Vivi said, her voice a gentle intrusion, her eyes dancing with delight when Avery blinked and looked outward, finding Vivi’s gaze locked on her own. “You know it’s time to take a risk when you look like you do right now. You can’t get him out of your mind. You’ve made a connection. He’s not for Chey, darling. He’s for you.”
Avery simply nodded, having come to the very same conclusion herself. It was silly to waste time denying how she felt. Not when she apparently needed that time to figure out what she was going to do about it. Oh my God. Now what did she do? She looked at Vivi. “But…that still doesn’t change the fact that he’s leaving.”
Vivi covered Avery’s hands again. “My sweet girl, I may have decided that Lavender Blue, and this wonderful place up here in the mountains, the town, the people, is my forever home. But you’re young. This will always be your home. Always. We will always be family. This house will always be home to you.”
Avery frowned. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying that I’ve seen the world and enjoyed what it has to offer. You’ve spent most of your life cloistered on a college campus, and now up here in the hills—delightful though this place may be.” Vivi pulled Avery’s hands toward her, drawing her closer, until Vivi had only to whisper to be heard. “Maybe you should give some thought to what it might be like to pick up and go with the good doctor, whenever and wherever he decides to go next. There’s nothing stopping you, you know.”
* * * *
Vivi’s words were still echoing in Avery’s mind hours later. Bouncing and jangling around was more like it. She paused by each stable door, offering a carrot she’d brought from the kitchen to the occupant, rubbing muzzles, and letting her mind play through possibilities she knew she shouldn’t even dare to contemplate. Leave Blue Hollow Falls? Leave her newfound place—her place—the first she could ever truly call her own. One she loved with all of her heart. Why would she leave?
“He’ll nibble right on through your jacket pocket for the rest of those carrots if you aren’t careful.”
Avery looked down and jumped back, taking her jacket pocket from the nibbling teeth of Foster, one of Chey’s rescue horses. “What is it with me and losing my outerwear to farm animals?”
Chey smiled, then said, “Need something?”
The considering look on her face mirrored some of the same elements as Vivi’s. Love, caring, affection, wanting what was best for her. So much so that Avery almost turned and ran back to the house. She didn’t, though. If she was going to sort through this, she needed a sounding board. Possibly three of them. Vivi had had her say. Now she wanted to hear from Chey.
“I wanted Ben to be for you,” she told Chey, deciding it was best to just lay it out there. “It seemed like a good fit. And you like him. I charted your reactions to him, so don’t even try to tell me other—”
“I’m female, with blood pumping through my veins,” Chey said with a laugh. “Of course, I find him attractive.” She ticked off her fingers as she continued. “He’s man candy personified, who also happens to be a doctor, and not just any doctor, but the kind that takes care of sick animals, and don’t even get me started on that accent. I mean, seriously.”
Avery agreed with every single thing Chey had just said, which didn’t explain her actual reaction at all.
“What’s wrong?” Chey said, frowning as if Avery had just exhibited some kind of medical issue. And maybe she had.
Avery just shook he
r head, still trying to process what she was feeling. She wasn’t upset with Chey; Chey was like her big sister. And she truly wanted everything for her sister of the heart. She looked at Chey and blinked. Everything except Ben Campbell.
Chey hooted then. “Oh my God,” she said, as delighted as Vivi had been earlier. “You’re jealous. That’s wonderful!”
“It doesn’t feel remotely wonderful,” Avery said, still frowning. “Actually, none of this does.” Except when I’m with him. Then everything feels amazing.
“I hear you,” Chey said on a laugh. “I don’t envy you this part. The wondering, the worrying, the self-doubt, the endless questioning.” She grinned. “And that’s just on choosing date-wear.”
Avery sighed. “It was a lot more entertaining observing someone else falling. I do know that.”
“Well, one thing you don’t have to worry about is me. Delicious though he is, even if I did want him, I never stood a chance. He’s all yours, Av.” She laughed. “I mean, come on, the paint almost melted off the kitchen walls the other day when he was here, and he was only in the same room with you for like two minutes.” She made a fanning motion. “Steam heat.”
Avery half-nodded, half-shook her head. “The thing is, I wouldn’t even know what to do with him if I did have him.” She looked up. “And I don’t. Steam or no steam.”
Chey wiggled her eyebrows. “If he hadn’t gotten that emergency call on the way back to the farm after you left Pruitt’s place, something tells me that by the time dinner was over, you’d have had a pretty good idea.”
When Avery didn’t say anything to that, Chey walked closer, took the carrot bag from her hands, then pulled her into a quick hug. “You’re going to be fine,” she whispered in Avery’s ear. Chey was a bit rough around the edges, but there was no doubt about the size of her heart. She leaned back and looked into Avery’s face, her expression and her voice gentler. “So, this is the first time? For like…all of this?”
During the years spent traversing the minefields of grief together while also building new lives, the fearsome foursome had no secrets left between them. Avery had never told them about Chad, because there wasn’t really anything to tell. It had been mortifying, and she was technically not a virgin, but the only thing that had been broken, clinically speaking, had been her hymen. She made a face just thinking that. “Pretty much,” she said, deciding that part of her history was best left right where it was. In all ways that truly mattered, this was her first…everything.
“Well…do you have any, you know, questions?” Chey asked, somewhat uncomfortably, but looking as if she was willing to brazen out the awkward talk if needed.
Avery elbowed her then, like a little sister would, causing Chey to wince and laugh at the same time.
“I know how it all works, Mom,” Avery said, but when Chey smiled, then the smile widened to a grin, and the first squeak of laughter sneaked out, they were both doomed.
“I’m sure you have the birds and bees part covered, Brain, but if you need any nuance talk—go ask Vivi. Or Hannah.”
Avery spluttered another laugh. “Big of you.”
Chey raised both hands, palms out. “Smart of me. With my track record, I’m the last one who should be dishing out relationship advice.”
“True,” Avery said, earning her a little ear tweak and a hair tug. Now she winced, even as she laughed. “Hey, now. Pick on someone your own size.” She tried to pull away, but Chey pulled her back in for one last fierce hug.
“My gut tells me he’s a good guy,” Chey said quietly, close to Avery’s ear. “And my gut I do trust. If you want him, go after him.” She leaned back then, and a smile that was just as fierce curved her lips. “You know if he even thinks about breaking your heart, he’ll have hell to pay with the three of us. What better backup plan could you want?”
“I got a call about a horse?” came a deep voice from behind them. A voice with that southern-Aussie twang.
Avery’s eyes widened. “Something is wrong with one of the horses?” No sooner had she said the words than her eyes narrowed, because Chey didn’t so much as blink. Avery looked Chey right in the eye, her next question silent, but heard clearly nonetheless. She was getting better at that silent communication thing after all.
Chey lifted a shoulder, utterly unapologetic. “So, I like having a backup plan for my backup plan.” Her eyes twinkled. “Sue me.”
“If I’m interrupting something—”
“No, no, you’re right on time.” Chey stepped past Avery, snagging her friend’s hand as she did, so Avery was pulled along behind her as Chey walked and Avery half-stumbled along behind her down the center aisle of the stables toward Ben. “Actually, I think Foster is okay. I’m sorry, I should have called to cancel, but I wasn’t sure.”
“Let me have a look, since I’m here,” Ben said. “G’day, Avery,” he added, smiling at her. “Do you ride as well?”
“Me?” Avery said, not prepared in any way to deal with her in-person Ben feelings. She still needed time to collate her oh-my-God-I-want-Ben-Campbell-for-myself thoughts, give greater consideration to everything Vivi had said, and what Chey had said, as well. This felt so…monumental.
Which might have seemed like a dramatic overstatement when she was alone, but now he was standing there in front of her and she swore she could actually hear her pulse thrumming in her ears. She knew it was absolutely potentially life-changing. Meaning she should do the prudent thing. Excuse herself, and go gather her thoughts, devise a plan. A thoughtful, balanced—
“It’s been ages since I’ve been on a horse,” Ben said. “I used to ride all the time in Perth. My folks still do.”
“If you’ve got the time, I’ve got the horses,” Chey said.
“With all that snow—” Avery began, already losing what little control she had over the situation.
“That’s why we have the indoor arena.” Chey smiled. “Such as it is. Actually, I just restored one of the bigger barns, tore out some stalls on one side to make a small, indoor ring. It’s a great way to get the horses some exercise even during the bad weather months.”
“Ben—Dr. Campbell—probably has other animals to tend to,” Avery said pointedly, her gaze on Chey. “We’ve already gotten him all the way out here on—”
“Actually, this was my last stop,” Ben said. “But I don’t want to put you out. Another time, perhaps.”
“No time like the present,” Chey said. “Foster is in the fourth stall over there. Let me know what you think about the laceration to his foreleg. That’s why I called.” She sent a look to Avery, as if to say, “See? I didn’t drag him all the way out here on total false pretenses.”
Avery happened to know the “laceration” was hardly more than a scratch, but she didn’t out her friend.
“It looked a lot worse when it was all bloody and I wasn’t sure, since he cut it on barbed wire, if I needed to do anything else.”
Avery just rolled her eyes. There was nothing Chey did not know about how to take care of her animals, especially concerning basic farm mishaps.
“Hey, you want to get up on a horse, too?” Chey said to Avery, as if she’d just thought of it herself.
Avery simply shook her head, knowing when she was outmaneuvered. “Not today,” she said. “I need to get back inside and help Vivi.” She held out her arms. “Besides, I’m not dressed for it and I think I’ve donated enough clothing to the farm animal cause this week.”
“Maybe Santa will bring you a new coat. Speaking of which, we need to get out in the back field and pick out our tree. I was hoping Will and Jake would be here to help us drag it up. Snow’s a bit deep in the back for the tractor, but—”
“I can help with that,” Ben said, then turned to Avery, making it clear she was part of this plan. “In fact, why don’t I look in on Foster there, give you a chance to change into your snow gear, and we’ll h
ead on back. You can show me where to look.” He smiled at Chey. “Save the horseback riding for another time.”
“Sounds good.”
Avery looked at Chey and then at Ben. “But you’re not exactly dressed for—”
“I donate my wardrobe to farm animals as a regular part of my job,” he said, chuckling. “A little snow isn’t going to hurt anything.”
It was more than a little snow, and Ben knew that, but Avery knew when she was beat.
“Why don’t the two of you head on back,” Chey said, all but shoving Avery toward the open sliding doors at the end of the barn. “She’s got charts and lists of what makes the perfect Christmas tree,” Chey told Ben as they paused next to him. “So, there’s no point in any of the rest of us going out there without her going first. I’ll go in and let Vivi know you’re on the tree hunt, help her with the rest of the soaps and essential oil vials. Just text me when you’ve found the one, and I’ll head out with the drag ropes and saw.”
“If you show me where the saw and ropes are, I can do that,” Ben offered. “Sounds like you’ve got enough going on.” He smiled at Avery. “You pick it, I’ll wrangle it.”
Lavender & Mistletoe Page 6
