But for her, in the sidelines in her thrift store getup made my heart want to punch myself in the balls.
I wanted to tell her I would’ve dumped those girls in a hot minute to take her to that dance, but something stopped me. She loved me. And that changed the script. Because I wasn’t about to lie to her. I wasn’t going to try to fake it for her either. She didn’t deserve that.
She gave me a hard nod, hair curtain fully engaged. “I have to go.”
She had revealed herself and now wanted to bolt because she knew I didn’t feel the same way.
I had to move fast, because she was fast, but I was able to catch her by her arm and hold the door closed.
“T.”
She wouldn’t face me, so I was talking to the back of her head while I held on to her lightly.
“I didn’t know.”
Because we weren’t face-to-face, I guess she felt like she could talk to me, finally. “Everyone falls in love with you. It’s what happens. You’re you. You fill a room. You are...something else.”
“You’re not everyone. I’m so sorry. I could never lie to you. I love you. You’re my girl.”
“Don’t. I already know. I’m not the one for you. I just want to be here, do what I can to help. Make sure that no one hurts you.”
She pulled at her arm a little, asking me to let her go with her body language.
Instead, I moved her gently so I could look at her face. She wasn’t crying—just defiant. Her truth was out.
“You already did that. I’ve not forgotten the day you saved my life, T. You killed for me. I can’t lose you. I mean, again. You have to be in this life with me.” I let my hands drop. I wasn’t going to force her to stay anymore.
“You’ll never lose me.” T tucked her hair behind her ear and then reached up close to my face. “And you’ve saved my life more times than anyone can count. You just didn’t know it.”
She put her palm near, but didn’t touch me.
I leaned into her hand, forcing the contact.
“Don’t misunderstand this. I’ve known. It wasn’t both ways. The way I feel about you isn’t the way you feel about me.”
She curled her hand, almost making a claw, but not hurting me.
“I didn’t come back trying to get with you like that. But I see how you’re doing stuff here. Putting everyone else first. You needed to know how I feel because when push comes to shove I’m here for you. When crap goes down, I will look to you first. Take care of you first. No one else has priority. Not Nix. Not Becca.”
Her hand opened and the soft touch of her palm cradled my face. “And I know that’s not how you think. But call me selfish. I can’t be any other way. It’s how I’m wired.”
She was shredding me open with her loyalty. The truth of it all.
“T, I can make it work. Let’s try. I can try. You know you’re my wife in my head. Nix is my man wife and then there’s you.”
She whispered, “Man wife.”
Her ghost of a smile made me more determined. “Let’s try.”
She took her hand away to reach for the doorknob behind her.
“Animal, don’t you get it? You deserve to feel how I feel about you. It’s really big. And it’s going to be for someone other than me.” She completed the smile that my joke had started and left the room.
I hung my head and felt like a giant asshole. How could I not be in love with this girl? I loved her in my head and heart. Was I not feeling it in my soul?
After I sat back down at my desk, I banged my head against the back of my desk chair.
Chapter 25
T
He knew. It was freeing and devastating in one fell swoop. At least I could tell him what I was doing, unlike my mother. She just had to think I abandoned her. Animal was mentally healthy and could handle knowing about my love. It wouldn’t affect his decision-making.
I walked down the steps, half-hoping he would chase me. The part of me that loved to see beautiful things happen wanted a moment like that.
The Cinderella moment. The kiss that people wrote songs about. I straightened my spine. I was braver than the pain. Tougher than the hurt. I inhaled. I could be near the people I loved. That was enough for a girl like me. I could make it enough. I’d spent years making the wishes in my heart so small I could barely hear them.
Chapter 26
Animal
T acted like she hadn’t said anything to me about her feelings. When I broached the subject, she brushed me off. When I brought girls home, she was gone. It seemed like she knew what I was planning before I planned it.
She watched out for Ember. T told me she loved me just so I would know, not so anything would change.
Nix was getting bolder in the Feybi organization. Rumor had it that he’d made himself a right-hand man. Something would happen soon, I could tell.
After, I found out Becca had switched professions to a tattoo artist and had inked half of her face in a skull tat in honor of Nix, even though she hadn’t laid eyes on him in so long.
The night I was bringing her to him, Nix left the employ of Feybi, murdering the old bastard on the way out.
T and I had prepared and started our defense and offense in the same moment.
Basically, we had designed my organization to be a place where people could find protection. We had ways to make money. Nix’s philosophy of saving people was the cornerstone. Hookers found that their pimps beat them less because we had a way for them to check in on an app with Debra and Helena’s crew. We had merchandise that we moved, and Mary Jane was a big seller. We were trying to move the harder drugs out of town, too. It was a big task, but the people we had were professionals. We were handling business with a slant. Things that were considered impossible to try were attempted.
The men and women who worked for the Feybis and the Kaleotos were used to getting shit on. With me, I was honest. They got paid for what they did. I wasn’t cutting people’s balls off. Instead, I gave them time and opportunities to figure out their lives.
We weren’t saints, but we weren’t assholes either. And the approach was taking the snot out of the existing structures.
After I got Nix and Becca back, we all moved into his house. T would stay sometimes, but we had to lock shit down now because our lives were getting more and more dangerous. Even our allies could be enemies in this business, so she had a hard time staying when the doors and windows were closed.
But my process continued to mature. Meetings. I spent time studying police reports, watching sales of property. I poached men from both warring families in Midville.
I was the Amazon to their mom and pop store. Eating them alive at a game they thought they knew how to play.
I hit them with a combination of theatrics, knowledge, and sheer personality.
Soon, guys were coming to Nix and me, sniffing for jobs.
T would vet them for me, and she was never wrong. Her silence made her a weapon. She just knew where to hear stuff.
I was going light on him while he had his honeymoon period with his honey. He’d reconnected with Ember, and my boy was happy for the first time in a long damn time.
But he saw what I was doing, how I was helping, and he wanted to be a part of it. The way I was running shit was something he could get behind. Of course, I wasn’t surprised because it’d been his modus operandi that was the handbook.
But that was where we stood. I’d been to Meme’s earlier in the night to meet some ladies that had been itching for a date. As I got dressed, I noticed that T had made herself scarce. I was looking forward to talking to Nix about the whole situation. And soon.
But not that night.
Chapter 27
Animal
Meme’s was busy. The Day of the Dead theme had stuck, but people weren’t as riled up about it as when they first implemented it.
I was there for the usual. A nice group of beautiful females to teach how good they could possibly feel. A few of my repeat offenders were here tonight as w
ell. I went to my table near the dance floor.
I had a formula. Let the ladies see what I was offering, give them a big smile, and wait. My reputation preceded me. Turns out, girls talk. They shared even the most intimate things. They also knew there was no competition. Everyone left my bed before morning. I was an experience. A thrill ride.
The music was good tonight—another holdover from the Day of the Dead event. The owner learned that more than just alcohol and two girls in tight clothes were required to make a place a success.
I bought the four girls hanging near me a drink. I could do four, but preferred three. Never less than two. I’d rather go home alone than do the one-on-one thing.
When the bass dropped on the song that was ripping through the bar, the front door opened.
Some people just have a light around them. A pull. It exists in varying degrees in most. In some, it is undiluted. I’m one of those people. People were drawn to me. If not their physical bodies, definitely their gaze. The way I moved. How I laughed. I was used to it.
So was the woman who walked into Meme’s. I’d never seen her before. New.
But it was more than that. Her face was stunning, her movements purposeful. She scanned the club like she was looking for something. Then she dropped her lashes and smiled.
With alcohol involved, there was no way she was going to be alone for long. My girls orbited me, and I didn’t want to be rude.
But this girl. Something about her stood out.
“Why so serious?” Jelissa snapped her fingers in front of me. I captured her hand and turned my attention to her face. “Sorry.” She was immediately regretful. “I didn’t mean to snap. You were just so—focused there.”
I nodded at her so she would know that she was forgiven. She was also not getting in bed with me ever again. But she’d learn that later.
I entertained my girls, but kept the super lit girl on my radar, sneaking peeks every once in a while.
The men trailed behind her. If they had any shame, they’d dropped it to try to get her attention.
I slid my sunglasses off my head and hung them off the collar of my shirt.
The way she was looking around set off all kinds of internal alarms.
Her overwhelming presence almost camouflaged it. I knew she would find me soon, because I was never easy to miss, even in a crowded bar.
She weaved her way onto the dance floor. She pity-talked to a few of the fuckers that were following her around, trying to get her to give them the time of day.
Her skin was a beautiful honey color. Her hair was past her ass. Her body was insane. But it was more than the package she was in. It was the control she had on the situation. She knew she was starting a fire in any room she walked into. She was ready for it.
When her light green eyes met my gaze, I was waiting for her.
I felt the zip from my head to my balls.
She lifted an eyebrow like we had a running joke. And we did. The pull. The way to change a room. It seemed almost orchestrated. Like there was a scriptwriter for this exact moment. Maybe it could even seem tactical.
I raised my glass of water in her direction, acknowledging the show I was watching.
She started dancing a little. Just enough that taking my eyes off her was impossible.
This girl was even better than I thought. Sweet hell she could dance. I could as well. The ladies loved seeing this giant body move so effortlessly. It took practice to make sure I never looked out of place on a dance floor. But I had put in the time.
When I gave my shoulders some movement, I watched as delight caused her head to tilt back.
I felt like my heart was heating up. Having her in my line of vision was like having a set of firecrackers going off in my head.
I knew she would (because they all do), but I was still excited when I realized she was dancing to me.
There were exceptions to every rule. And mine with the ladies around me were about to be bent.
She danced up to me, and Jelissa and Marin parted the tight circle around me to let her in.
Two of the men behind her were shouting at her like carnival barkers, “Can I get you a drink?” “What do you want to drink?”
She wrapped her hand around my cup, her nails just a hint longer than her fingertips. They made a clacking noise on my glass.
“It’s okay. I’ve got his drink.” She claimed me in front of our spectators.
I let go of my glass with a flourish, like it was obvious that she and I would share a glass.
“I’m guessing water.” She brought the glass to her mouth.
I narrowed my gaze at her. She didn’t register surprise when she was right, just guzzled it back.
When she was done, she set it on the table. Then she took my giant hand in hers.
She twirled around and dragged me to the dance floor.
I heard my circle of girls starting to complain, but I was following this girl wherever she took me.
Her red lips were turned up in a smirk when she whirled around and started dancing.
So that’s how it was. We weren’t finding out names or making small talk. We were just dancing.
And she was magnificent. Maybe she’d had professional training at some point, because I could hold my own with most, but not her.
It seemed that it wasn’t fair for a girl this hot to also know how to dance. Talk about stacking the cards in her favor.
Her black dress and strappy heels were not complicated, but the way the dress was scooped in the back gave me hope that if I was close enough I could peek down it.
She wasn’t wearing a bra. Shit. I realized that as I tried to see her ass.
This wasn’t slutty, though. She wasn’t begging for anything; she was confident.
Her competence with dance made my proficiency look more elaborate than it was.
There was no one better in that bar that night than she and I. We knew it. Watching us dance was a gift the customers didn’t earn, but they were getting.
I quickly glanced around and realized I was right. All eyes were on us. I could handle the attention. At six foot eight, I was used to it in spades.
But the lady who was currently rubbing on me had that and more.
The two of us were rock stars and movie stars all at once.
I got the sense that she was temporary. Her gaze would flit around the place at moments and I knew I was a prop. Because of what I now did for a living, I realized I had to find out what she was up to. She didn’t need to come to Meme’s to get laid. Certainly a girl like her would be able to get whatever she wanted out of life—sexually anyway.
I pulled her against me. She braced herself with her hands and gave me a practiced come hither look.
She could flirt with the effectiveness of a nuclear bomb. My dick literally wanted to learn how to talk instantly.
“What’s your name?”
She smirked. “Poison?”
“I wouldn’t doubt it. Dropping all that sex appeal on these fools like they deserved it. Now, what’s your name?” I didn’t try to cop a feel, though I could tell she was fit from where our bodies touched.
“What’s yours? Tit for tat, sweetness.”
Her use of my common term of endearment caused me to suspect her even harder.
“You already know my name.” It was a guess. A pretty self-absorbed guess.
“And you don’t know mine? Does that mean only one of us does our homework?” She started to sway, encouraging me to make this faceoff look like a dance.
I rocked with her. “Feybi or Kaleotos?”
She rolled her eyes. “You think local. Don’t do yourself a disservice.”
I stopped rocking.
“There are bigger fish in the sea, Animal.” Her eyes flashed with reams of knowledge I didn’t have. Yet.
“What’s your name?” I was getting that out of her.
“Albany.”
“That’s a city.” I looked around the club to try to place who she was here with.
In the corner I saw T. She nodded when my eyes passed over her.
Always watching. Always making sure I was safe.
“It takes a city to hold me.”
She was fire in my arms. Burning anyone that dared to try.
“You here to get me killed, Albany?” I twirled her and pulled her so her back was against my chest. I put my arm across her like a seat belt, my hand holding her jaw.
To the Meme’s patrons, I was putting the moves on her. To anyone with the right background, they knew I had her in a very dangerous hold. Easy to snap her neck.
I brought my lips close to her ear. She smelled like vanilla. A clean scent in this bar that was thick with manufactured flavors.
“You’d be dead before I hit the floor,” she whispered as if she was suggesting a rendezvous instead of my demise. “Which would be a shame. I’ve got to say, you’re quite the snack.”
“Say what you came here to say.” I wanted to keep her flirting with me forever and not have it tainted with this life I was in now. But T was right there, too. And as amazing as this girl was, when it came to T, I wasn’t about hurting her intentionally.
“You’ve captured people’s attention. They want to talk.” She started to move against my dick.
“How much does it cost to have a girl like you come in here to pass a message?”
She laughed. Despite my hold, she turned so her chest was against mine again. “I’m beyond money. I work for power. And I think you do, too. Meet my people. It’s worth it.”
“No.” I dropped my hands and took a step back. She stopped moving the instant I did.
“That’s a mistake.” She flipped her hair. There was a layer of wisdom under the come-on.
“Not where I’m standing. If I let my dick make my choices, then everybody’s going down.” I turned my back on Albany.
I walked to the circle of pouting ladies that cheered when they saw me return.
I felt Albany’s attention on the back of my neck. It took everything I had in me not to pivot and give her a glower. I wanted to pull my phone out and warn some people to follow her.
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