by Bella Andre
He lifted her hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to each of her palms. "I agree that we shouldn't hide our feelings, and we shouldn't pretend we're not dealing with some massive decisions. But I don't want us to stop seeing sunshine, butterflies, and rainbows either. That's what happened to my dad after my mom died, and I know she wouldn't have wanted to see him like that. And, if I'm being totally honest, that's what happened to me in Frankfurt."
Before she could ask what he meant, the waiter returned with their salads. As soon as they were alone again, she said, "You haven't talked much about Germany, but I thought it was good for you. I thought you were doing work you wanted to do."
"I was. I am." But that spark she was so used to seeing in his eyes dimmed as he told her, "I let it consume me. I was more than happy to let my work, my research, take the place of everything I no longer had. My colleagues were pleased by my fervor and endless energy, at least in the first couple of years."
"Then what happened?" She could see this wasn't easy to talk about, and she was proud of him for doing it anyway.
He stared out the window, but she knew he wasn't seeing the Napa Valley night. "It crept up on me, how tired I felt. How uninspired."
"But you didn't take a break to recharge?"
He shook his head. "My colleagues kept inviting me to join the local soccer team, or to meet up with them at the biergarten. But I couldn't stop thinking about all the work that wouldn't get done. And I kept telling myself we were almost there with our research, that we'd nail it if I just spent a few more hours every day. So I blocked myself off from everyone and everything but the lab and my research and ended up getting grouchy and short with everyone. Sleep eluded me more and more too, and even the things I used to enjoy doing, like hiking and woodworking, lost their pull. My goal to find a cure for breast cancer became my only reason to get up in the morning and the reason I wouldn't let myself go to sleep at night." His expression was grim as he said, "The thing is, it wasn't just about the work. About finding the cure. It was about hiding. From my feelings about losing my mom. And from my feelings about you. Because I knew you would never be mine...and I couldn't stand the thought of a life without you."
"I was hiding too," she admitted. "In my relationship with Bruce. In a job I didn't want. In a life my parents had mapped out for me because otherwise they would worry. It wasn't until I got sick that I had to stop making them my excuse for always playing it safe and being a coward."
"A coward?" He said it as though nothing could be further from the truth. "Do you know what my mother always used to say about you?" When she shook her head, he smiled. "She thought you were the bravest woman in the world to throw yourself into the mix with us Morrisons. And then later, when you would spend all those hours with her in the hospital, she would say it again and again--that you were the only person she wasn't related to who had the guts to come and be with her." Justin lifted his hand to Taylor's cheek. "You were never afraid. And we all loved you more than ever for that. For being there for her when everyone else fled."
"I loved your mom." There were tears in Taylor's eyes, and she had a big lump in her throat. "I wanted to be with her."
"I love you." Justin's words were as sincere as any she'd heard him speak. And then, before she realized it, he was slipping out of his chair, getting down on one knee, and reaching into his pocket for a small, velvet-covered box. "Taylor Cardenes, I've known from the first moment I met you that I wanted you to be mine. Will you marry me?"
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Taylor's eyes were huge as she stared at him. He was holding one of her hands, but the other was over her mouth, which had fallen open.
Justin's heart was pounding a million beats a minute. He'd never been so nervous--or felt so certain--about anything in his entire life. They might have been dating only a few days shy of a week, but for eight years, Taylor had been his best friend...and his secret love.
Time, as they both knew all too well, offered no guarantees. And he didn't want to waste any more of it. He wanted Taylor to be his wife and he wanted to be her husband. He wanted to start a family with her as soon as her doctors gave them the thumbs-up. He wanted to help her run her B&B and ask her to look over his work at the lab to see what brilliant insights she had to help move them closer to a cure. He didn't plan on spending nearly as much time in his lab in the future, but he'd be hugely energized and focused during the time he did spend working.
He also finally understood that he would be able to do so much more to make others' lives better if he were living his own life to the fullest. He wanted to spend every Christmas, every birthday, every Valentine's Day with Taylor beside him. He wanted them to be a team in everything, good or bad.
The ring had been burning a hole in his pocket for the past hour. Taylor knew him so well that he was almost surprised she hadn't guessed it was there. He had planned for his proposal to come at the end of the evening, after the food had been cleared and there was no chance of anyone disturbing them. But he hadn't been able to hold it in, not when he could have sworn his mother was whispering in his ear: Ask her.
"Yes."
Taylor spoke so softly that Justin wasn't sure he'd heard her correctly. "Yes?" His voice shook with hope and love and longing.
"Yes!" she yelled, flinging her arms around his neck so that the ring box was accidentally knocked out of his hand as she slid from her seat to kneel on the carpet with him.
They kissed like they'd never kissed before. A best-friends-turned-lovers-turned-newly-engaged-couple kiss that blew all the others out of the water.
He never wanted to let her go, but at the same time, he was anxious to cement their engagement by getting the ring onto her finger. The box was only a few feet away, beneath the window. But when he picked it up, the ring was no longer inside.
Together, they hunted for it on their hands and knees, looking in every crevice, every corner. That was how the wait staff found them, with their rear ends sticking up in the air, their eyes slightly wild.
"We just got engaged," Taylor said.
The man and woman holding the covered trays gave them confused smiles. "Congratulations."
"The ring went flying," Justin explained in what he hoped was a calm voice, but wasn't anywhere close. "That's why we're down here searching for it."
"Not to worry, sir," the waiter said as he put down his tray. "We'll help you."
The four of them crept around the dining car for what was probably only a couple of minutes, but felt far longer, when the other waiter called out, "I found it!" She held it up, and Justin only barely stopped himself from grabbing it out of her hands. "Oh, it's lovely."
"Is it?" Taylor said on a laugh. "I can't wait to see it."
"Forgive me." The woman gave the ring to Justin. "We'll give you two some time alone."
But Justin didn't want to wait another second, and clearly neither did Taylor, because she thrust her left hand at him so that he could slide the ring into place.
It was a perfect fit. Just as he'd known it would be.
"It's so beautiful." Taylor held up her hand so that the diamonds caught the glow of the lights. "I've never seen a ring like it."
He'd been inspired by seeing her in her wine country garden and knowing how right she looked in it. Even though he could easily have afforded something more expensive, he knew she wouldn't feel comfortable in something flashy. So instead of one big diamond, two dozen beautifully cut diamonds radiated out from the center like petals.
It wasn't until Taylor's stomach growled again--which set off the chain reaction of his stomach growling--that he realized they were still on the floor. Laughing, they got up, then seated themselves to eat the food the servers had left for them.
But before they did, he said, "This is now officially the best day of my life."
"For me too," she agreed, linking hands with him.
And as he grinned like a fool at the sight of his ring on her finger, he couldn't help but wonder just how soon they could
pull together a wedding.
*
Two hours later, after they had made it home and were heading through her garden to the cottage, Taylor was still walking on air. She couldn't stop looking at the engagement ring and admiring it--just as she couldn't stop looking at Justin and admiring him too. He was so handsome, so smart, so powerful, so sweet. So all-around wonderful in every single way.
She had been stunned by his proposal, but not only for the reasons he must have thought. What he wouldn't know until tomorrow morning was that--
Out of the blue, at the threshold of her cottage, he swept her up into his arms and kissed her breathless, making all thoughts fall from her brain. "We're not married yet," she teased once she could form words again.
"A guy can dream, can't he?"
She caressed his cheek as he carried her over the threshold. "The whole night was like a dream. Thank you for such sweet romance."
"It's what you've always deserved." He set her down in the living room, her body sizzling from making the slow slide against his. "I'm sorry I haven't given you more romance before tonight."
"You've always given me what I needed. If we had gotten together back in college, honestly, I'm not sure that I would have been ready for the passion between us...or for how big you make my heart feel." She had needed some time to mature, to come into her own and figure out what she really wanted out of life. "All those years, I got to love you from a safe distance. If you had given me romance back then, I probably would have freaked out and run."
"Then I guess I'm glad I didn't, because I would hate for you ever to run from me." He put his hands on either side of her face and looked into her eyes. "You'll tell me if I'm coming on too strong, won't you? If I'm moving too fast?"
Again, she thought about how surprised he was going to be in the morning when he found out that he wasn't the only one who had been moving fast. She was tempted to tell him now, but she didn't want to spoil what she hoped would be another really lovely and romantic moment.
"Trust me," she said, "we're in perfect sync." In every single way...
Their lips were nearly touching when her cell phone and the landline in the cottage both rang at the same time. She frowned as she reluctantly pulled away from him. "That must be one of my guests. I hope nothing is wrong."
But she soon found out there was. The couple who had checked in that afternoon, then headed out to drive through the mountains of Calistoga, had blown a tire on their rental car. The manual was missing from the glove box and they couldn't find the spare. They'd called the rental company, but they had no cars left on the lot. And when they'd called their auto service hotline, they were told there was a backup of several hours.
"I've got to go pick them up," she said.
"I'll come too."
Taylor knew there would be many more wonderful nights with Justin, especially now that they were engaged. Still, she couldn't help regretting that they couldn't yet celebrate their engagement.
He seemed to read her mind. "Before you know it, we'll be back here, warming each other up in your bathtub."
She gave him a quick kiss, told him where to find the pump and patch kit in the garage, then went to change into jeans and a jacket. She thought briefly about taking off her ring--she'd hate for anything to happen to it while she was helping with the tires. But that was a risk she was going to have to take.
Now that Justin had put his ring on her finger, she never, ever wanted to take it off.
*
Four hours later, they finally made it back to her B&B. Her guests had been beyond thankful that they'd not only come to help them, but had also brought warm blankets and a flask of hot cider. After tucking them into the backseat of her car, Taylor and Justin had gone to see what could be done about the tire.
As much as the previous part of their evening had been magical and perfect, the next was one long string of errors. Once they found the spare, the security lug-nut tool that should have been with it was missing, so they couldn't loosen the nuts to take off the flat tire. It was sheer luck that a county road maintenance worker came along in his service truck with an air compressor and a plug kit, and could repair the tire enough to get them down the hill to St. Helena.
The sun hadn't yet started to rise, but it would soon. It was tempting to fall into bed to catch a little sleep before morning officially came. Taylor felt as though she was buzzing inside, which tended to happen when she was just on the borderline of exhaustion. But she desperately wanted to give Justin the same magical romance he'd given her just hours ago.
She wouldn't make a habit of pulling all-nighters, but just this once surely couldn't hurt. Fortunately, though her side still ached, she hadn't had another full-on burst of pain in the past few days. After she gave him her surprise this morning, she'd be careful not to push her body any harder. After all, she had promised Justin that she knew her limits, and she wanted him to know that he could always trust her.
"I know you're going to think I'm crazy," she said, "but I have a surprise for you. One that involves taking the world's quickest shower to get the grease off and then getting straight back in the car."
"Of course I want to see what your surprise is," he said, "but are you sure you're up for whatever it is? I'd never forgive myself if I ran you ragged."
"I'm fine," she promised him. "And I really think you'll love my surprise."
His smile made her heart dance around. "Life is never going to be boring with you, is it?"
In her old life, where she'd always followed someone else's step-by-step plans for the future, there had never been many chances to be spontaneous. But as the owner of a wine country B&B, she could see that each day would be wildly different from the next.
And she loved it.
"I sure hope not," she agreed.
After they'd quickly washed their hair and cleaned the grease off their skin--rather than all the other naughty things they would have rather done in the shower--they dashed back out to her car. The sun wasn't up yet, but they could see a glimmer of light just beginning to peek over the hills.
Justin's grin was huge as she turned off the ignition a quarter of an hour later. "We're going up in a hot air balloon?" He looked like an excited kid, and her heart melted all over again. "This is going to be awesome!"
The Morrisons were so adventurous that she was surprised he'd never been up in a hot air balloon before. Especially given that the wine country was only a couple of hours away from Palo Alto. But maybe he'd been waiting to take the flight with her, just as she couldn't help but feel that she'd been waiting to take a trip on the Wine Train with him. There were so many wonderful things she wanted to experience with him--this was only the tip of the iceberg.
A shadow of doubt crept inside before she could block it out. Doubt that she'd be well enough in the future for too many big adventures. Doubt that he'd be a match. Doubt that even if he was a match, she could reconcile herself to the idea of him sacrificing so much for her.
She forcefully shook off the dark thoughts. They were here for Romance Part Two. She wouldn't allow her diagnosis, and all the uncertainties that came along with it, to thwart even a single second.
They got out of the car and were soon being given information about their flight--where they'd be flying, at what altitude, and how to stay safe while in the basket beneath the balloon. She'd arranged for an exclusive two-person trip. One of the staff members would be on board as the pilot, but the owner had assured her over the phone that his pilots were masters at fading into the background when necessary.
Not that she had been planning to do anything blush-worthy with Justin up there--but she did have a very special moment planned. Though things had changed since last night, she still wanted to go ahead with it.
Soon, they were climbing into the large basket and setting off into the sky. Justin put his arms around her from behind, and Taylor leaned back into him while they soared in time to the rising sun. The grapevines below undulated over the hills and vall
eys, a picture-perfect wine country scene in the breathtakingly beautiful early morning light.
They might not have had any sleep, but Taylor felt more crisp and clear than ever before. And despite the darkness that had tried to creep in earlier, she felt so calm now, as though nothing could ever go wrong again.
"Justin." She turned so that they were facing each other and his hands were in hers. "Eight years ago when we met, I knew my life had just changed forever. I couldn't imagine not seeing your smile, and I didn't want to go even a day without hearing your laughter. I knew I'd always be head over heels for you, but what I didn't know was that you'd end up feeling the same way about me too. Yesterday, when you asked me to marry you, you must have been wondering why it took me a few seconds to say yes." She moved closer to him. "It isn't because I had any doubts at all. Of course I don't, even if neither of us can know for sure what's coming in the future." Again, she forced away the dark clouds that kept trying to creep in and let herself focus only on the man she loved. "The reason I was so surprised is because I was planning to propose to you. Here. Now." She laughed. "But you beat me to it."
He kissed her first, then said, "I love you, Taylor. So damned much I swear my heart feels as big as this balloon over our heads."
She reached into the bag she'd brought with her, then held out a velvet box that matched the one he'd given her last night. "I can't wait to marry you. Until then, I hope you'll wear my ring."
His grin was a mile wide as he opened the box, but when he saw the ring inside, he looked like he was about to tear up. "My mom would have loved this ring. I love this ring."
Taylor still couldn't believe she'd been able to find a man's band inset with a fire opal. It was simply meant to be.
She lifted it out of the box and slid it onto Justin's ring finger. There was no officiant, no family or friends nearby, no rose-covered arches or cake to cut, but as they soared through the sky wearing each other's rings, Taylor felt as though they'd already made every vow that counted.
From this moment forward, they would love and protect each other through whatever came. She would just have to pray that it would be more good than bad. And trust that even if it wasn't, their love would survive.
