When the music finally stopped, Hadder and Lilly held each other, trying to catch their breaths through laughter. Miles retook the stage, and they held each other tighter, laughter fading away into deep penetrating stares that said more than any essay ever could. Miles broke into "These Arms of Mine," and foreheads touched as hips began to sway to the timeless song.
Whether Hadder moved first or Lilly initiated would be playfully debated in the weeks to come, but two lips found each other nonetheless, passing grazes becoming shy introductions before long-awaited embraces. As Miles began "Nothing Compares 2 U," Lilly led Hadder through the dance floor, ignoring the shouts of friends, up to the entrance level, and through a small door to the right. Hadder looked back as the door closed and saw Royal nodding in acknowledgment, an ironic callback to Purple Rain.
Stairs rose to the upper balcony levels and fell to the living quarters. Lilly guided Hadder down in a brisk, silent walk. Down halls they walked, finally stopping a door with a red hand next to it. She placed her hand on the mark, and the door slid open, revealing a room very different from most living quarters.
While most rooms were comfortable but impersonal, the perfect spaces for those always on the move, wanting to forget who they were, Lilly's place was reminiscent of the Before. Posters lined the walls, depicting everyone from Berlin to Blondie to Chuck Berry. Clothes were thrown over chairs, and little mementos littered the desk and dressers.
Lilly moved Hadder to the bed and went to the corner, where she dropped the needle on an antique record player. As she returned, Sade began to play, and no words were necessary. They collapsed into each other, both suffocating, needing the air that only the other could provide. Clothes fell away, bodies were explored, and secrets were discovered in a world of sweat, laughter, heat, and gasps.
Eons later, when they came together, the fusion of two souls released a burst of energy, causing the record to skip as they both dropped onto the bed in a single heap, working hard to appease their air-deprived lungs, born again in the fires of passion and a love both felt lost to them forever.
They laid together on the bed, sharing a cigarette, afraid that if they succumbed to sleep, the other would disappear like a mirage. Hadder stroked Lilly's head gently, keeping beat with the Sade soundtrack.
A thought struck him. "We all listen to Sade when we make love. What does Sade listen to when she makes love? You think she listens to herself?"
Lilly laughed, then thought for a moment. "I think she listens to covers of her own songs, that way it's not weird. Otherwise, it'd be like jacking off to your own picture."
"That makes sense," he conceded before moving on. "What should we do tomorrow?"
"What would you like to do?"
"As long as you're with me, I'll be happy doing anything."
"I'm not going anywhere, Marlin."
Anxiety crept into Hadder's stomach, the plague of anyone who has endured real loss, screaming that this could all come crashing down in an instant, that another blow would be the last. "You promise?"
Lilly looked up, her cognac eyes holding his own, making it impossible for him to look away. "I promise." She dropped back into Hadder's lap and was sleeping soundly minutes later. Hadder kissed the top of Lilly's head, stroked her tanned arms, and looked around, shocked at where his life had taken him. In the throes of drugs in the Celebration Cluster, Hadder had found a new life in the city called Station. But now, here in The Royal Jelly, in this room that perfectly reflected its occupant, with this woman whose capacity for love and understanding was beyond anything he thought possible, Hadder found a true home.
He wept softly, not wanting to disturb Lilly. Most were lucky to find one home in a lifetime. Who was he to be gifted two times? What was the price?
He pushed these thoughts away angrily, handed the reigns to Sade, and slid down to join Lilly in sleep, where they met again in all-new adventures.
CHAPTER 13
The following months were among the best Marlin Hadder had ever known, his life in the Before becoming a barely visible shoreline as he sailed further and deeper into this new voyage. He spent almost every moment of every day with Lilly Sistine, their time together in no way mirroring his initial months with Jonny VV and Reena Song. With Jonny and Reena, life was a broken record, the degradation of a song once loved, having grown impotent through ceaseless repetition.
For Lilly Sistine, life was never meant to be defined by a single song but was instead an ever-changing compilation of varying genres, decades, and artists. One day they organized a resident volleyball tournament outside The Royal, with Stretch Reese, a resident who had significantly Elevated his height to shed the effects of ridicule experienced in the Before, dominating the competition. The joy on the young man's face as he hoisted the makeshift MVP trophy warmed a place in Hadder's heart long dormant, the place that allowed him to feel happy for another's triumph despite his own losses.
Another day, Lilly and Hadder dedicated most of the Solay collaborating to pen a song, recruiting the assistance of Billy Crossroads, the two-armed guitar virtuoso, to play an impromptu one-song concert just as Haela settled onto the city. Hadder, unable to sing, kept the beat on bongos borrowed from Royal as the real musicians of the trio wowed a small audience of residents.
Still another day, Lilly and Hadder took a walk around Station, spending the day enjoying the city's distinct bioactivity and lush gardens before setting up a picnic outside of the one the Elevation Centers that sat against Station's western wall. They sat and talked, stories from today easily mingling with tales of the Before, even when they touched on less than happy times. As they spoke, residents would enter the Elevation Center, and Lilly and Hadder would predict what kind of Elevation would appear upon exit. They laughed genuinely as a tall, skinny blonde woman, who Hadder thought would walk out with double Ds, left the center as a medium-sized, muscled man, still donning the daisy dukes and crop top that she, now he, came with.
Between the Elevation guessing game, Hadder engaged in another pastime - learning of Lilly's past. Although he had only gathered bits and pieces, not wanting to pry, Hadder learned that Lilly's mom wanted nothing more than to have a pop star daughter. She paraded the young girl from pseudo-producer to unscrupulous record executive, willing to turn a blind eye when they wanted things other than money in exchange for studio time or the empty promise of an industry contact.
In return, Hadder spoke of his daughter Mia in response to Lilly's countless questions. Hadder detected a sadness in Lilly when she asked about Mia, understanding that this void in her would never be filled, not by Hadder nor music nor strong drink, as conception was something that didn't happen within Station's walls. Despite the pain of the topic, straight blades in his heart that cut more with each beat, Hadder did his best to share everything about Mia with Lilly. And while he died a little recounting each story about his baby girl, he was always resurrected in soft Lilly's arms minutes later.
In addition to daily activities, Lilly and Hadder also took on larger projects. One week, they oversaw the construction of an enormous fire pit behind The Royal Jelly, made especially for those who treasured the outdoors or enjoyed hanging out deep into the Haela. Although manikins did the majority of the labor, working at speeds that no human could match, Lilly and Hadder felt alive getting their hands dirty, the cuts on their hands leaving their blood to mix with the stone, making them truly a part of the beloved hangout.
Another week, Lilly and Hadder produced a stage production of "Glengarry Glen Ross," even getting curmudgeonly Glen to play the role of Shelley Levene. With a small but eclectic, Elevated cast, and backed by set-pieces crafted by manikin workers, the performance played to a packed house that showered Lilly and Hadder with applause at its conclusion. Later that night, Lilly and Hadder were inundated with requests for future plays and comments regarding how so-and-so would be perfect for playing the role of such-and-such. Lilly and Hadder sat together once the crowd around them had died down, sharing the moment
and a Number 7. "You available next month," asked Lilly, staring intensely at Hadder.
"I'll have to check my schedule, but I can probably move some things around."
"Well, don't put anything off on my account. I know time is money."
"This is true. But perhaps if I got some sort of downpayment, I could reserve some time for your endeavor."
Lilly climbed up to straddle Hadder, putting foreheads together the way they always did. "How's this for a downpayment." She kissed him deeply, the remainder of The Royal Jelly fading away into the recesses. They separated and laughed.
"Acceptable."
While those who frequented The Royal Jelly and its surrounding Bars, a Cluster loosely defined as The Commons, had done admirably in adjusting to Station, there were always moments when Hadder was reminded that the city's people were a broken bunch. Some were simply fixed better than others. Hadder would sometimes wake to find Lilly sobbing in the shower, the water hot enough to scald. Royal would spend all Solay and most of the Haela ensuring that others were able to be themselves and escape into a good time, only to end up drinking alone in a booth at Haela's end, powering through joints as he stared blankly at the wall. Even Glen, generally a rock, was found one day digging a large hole for no reason, his hands showing open wounds from his furious efforts.
Hadder asked Royal about this one day as they sat alone on the steps of The Royal Jelly, enjoying beers early in the Solay. Royal sighed deeply before responding. "We all do our best here, Hadder. Some, like those lost souls that stick to the Celebration Cluster, cope by running, thinking the past will never catch up to them if they never stop moving, never stop diverting their attentions from how they ended up in Station. Some endlessly mourn, like those sad bastards in the Weep. They've grieved and cried so much, they're afraid of what they'll find if they stop. Scared that there'll be nothing left once the anguish is left behind. Then you have us who try to heal. We talk about the Before, how we came to be in Station. We try to own up to our mistakes, try to offer consolation to those dealt bad hands, try to improve. But even the faintest scars itch once in a while. You try to scratch it without drawing blood and then move on. None of us will ever be normal, Hadder, even that beautiful creature you're with. But we can strive to be the best versions of ourselves, and hope that that's enough."
Hadder thought for a moment. "It's enough for me, Royal. But I don't know about some of the others, Lilly included."
"Well, you ain't been here that long, have you? The longer you're here, the mind starts to drift over the city's walls, to the bigger world, and its endless opportunities to ply what's been gained from Station."
"What are you saying, Royal?"
"I'm saying lots of people, including myself, become institutionalized, accept their lot here. But many others refuse, feel like they've done their time, have been rehabilitated, and now want another shot."
"You make Station sound like prison."
"Isn't it? Just because we're free to do what we want and enjoy ourselves, that doesn't change the fact that happy, sad, content, or angry, we're confined within these oversized walls."
"You think some want to sneak out of Station?"
"Sneak out? No, Hadder, they don't want to sneak out. They want to break out, tear the walls down. They want to see Station laid to rubble."
"There you two gossiping gals are," said Lilly from behind, preventing Hadder from further follow-up questions. She dropped a breakfast sandwich in each of their hands. "So, what are we talking about?"
Royal forced a smile. "Hadder's thinking of getting that scar on his forehead removed."
"The one you got from kickboxing? No, I love that one." Lilly grabbed Hadder's head and kissed his forehead. "Don't do that, Marlin. I love your scar."
Hadder simply nodded, wishing he could say the same back to her.
Hadder sat drinking with Jess Dangles, a well-adjusted young woman whose strange Elevation was four ears on each side of her shaved head that provided real estate for her strange addiction - earrings that sung like chimes and glittered like bouquets of starlight when she moved her head side to side. Despite her unique look, Jess was a reasonably normal, personable addition to the Commons, having recently grown tired of the Celebration Cluster.
Lilly ran into Cranesman and immediately addressed Jess. "Did you tell him yet?"
"No," answered Jess, "I thought it best that I let you bring it up."
"Bring what up," asked Hadder.
"There's a party this Haela, Marlin. I want to go."
Hadder shot Lilly a confused look. "Of course we can go, what's the issue?"
Lilly looked to Jess and back to Hadder. "It's in the Celebration Cluster. At The Soiree Noire, to be exact."
Hadder could feel his face scrunching as if he had just smelled something foul. Lilly responded to the look. "Listen, I know you had a rotten time in the Celebration Cluster last time you were there, and I know you're not crazy about Monty, but this is gonna be the party to end all parties."
"What is it?"
Lilly smiled. "It's a Blade Runner party."
"Your favorite movie."
"That's right, so you know I have to be there. Come with me, please, please, please."
Hadder leaned forward and kissed Lilly. "Anything for you. Plus, it'll be good to see Jonny VV and Reena Song again. I've always felt bad for how I disappeared on them."
"See! Two great reasons to go! Ok, you two enjoy your drinks, I gotta run."
"Where are you going," asked Hadder to the back of Lilly, who was already quickly making her way towards the Bar entrance. "To get my outfit made, silly," she said over her shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll get yours made, too."
"Nothing too tight!"
Lilly turned around in the doorway, a shadowy figure against the Solay backdrop. "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhuser Gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. You'll wear what I get you, Marlin Hadder." And with that, she was gone.
Jess looked to Hadder. "You're going to have your hands full with that one tonight."
Hadder smiled. "Looking forward to it."
CHAPTER 14
The butterflies in Hadder's stomach stirred as he set foot in the Celebration Cluster, arm-in-arm with Lilly Sistine. Those same butterflies began to flutter and fly as he spotted the red monolith that was Inferno in the near distance. A storm from deep within Hadder started to form, that old Rage that he had spent years clamping down, fighting to maintain control. Even after losing his family, while he had succumbed to grief and self-hate, he had kept the Rage at bay. Now, looking at Inferno, Hadder pictured Jackie Crone's too-pulled face and yellowing body hanging like a twisted marionette above the entrance. That old feeling rushed to the surface and threatened to demand action before he took a deep breath and squeezed Lilly's hand, reminding himself of what he had and what he could lose.
"Ouch, Marlin, too tight," exclaimed Lilly.
"Sorry. Shall we?"
As they moved together towards The Soiree Noire, Hadder once again marveled at how the Celebration Cluster came to life at Haela. With the glowing blossoms, explosions of color, and electricity in the air, Hadder quickly saw how he lost himself in this world of excess. He even considered that perhaps his time here was necessary to strip away the baggage of the Before, leaving him naked to receive Station's more profound gifts.
Hadder's trench coat, a key component of his Rick Deckard outfit, danced on a small breeze as he walked. Lilly's meticulously pinned hair, matching Rachael's perfectly symmetrical updo, refused to do the same as she marched in her custom black suit with broad shoulders. Nearing The Soiree Noire, Hadder could see that a crowd was just beginning to form outside with no sign of Monty the Mod on his floating pedestal. Waiting patiently among the milling crowd, Hadder recognized countless faces, many of whose names escaped him. Several shouted greetings to him while many others simp
ly nodded in welcome. Hadder held Lilly tight, uncomfortable around the sheer numbers of extreme Elevations that surrounded him.
"Marlin? Oh my god, Marlin?"
Hadder turned around at the familiar voice to find Reena Song walking up with Jonny VV. Reena, stylish as always, was dressed as Darryl Hannah's Pris, with the added touch of her ever-present light crown, while Jonny VV was the spitting image of Edward James Olmos's Gaff, complete with the fedora and mustache-soul patch combo. Reena hit Jonny playfully on the chest. "See! I told you he'd come back!"
Hadder's heart swelled as he embraced his two friends. He fought back a grimace as his guilt for leaving them without explanation or goodbye weighed heavily. Reena kissed him on the lips as they separated, and, for a moment, Hadder worried about Lilly's reaction. He soon saw that his fears were mislaid.
"And who's this you're with? Oh my god, is that you, Lilly!?! Jonny! It's Lilly Sistine, maybe my favorite person in the world!"
"It's awesome to see you, too, Reena. I've really missed you." The two women embraced, and Hadder felt vindicated when they, too, shared a kiss before separating.
Jonny VV shuffled up to Hadder. "Good to see you, old chap. I do say, it looks like you've been busy since your departure. Well done, old boy."
Reena returned to face Hadder. "Marlin, I heard that you had a tough time at Inferno. I'm so sorry. I feel terrible. We would have tried to stop you if you had told us your plans. That place is horrible; I have no idea why it's in the Celebration Cluster."
"It's ok, Reena. My fault completely." He looked at Lilly. "But I think it all worked out in the end."
Reena followed Hadder's eyes to Lilly and smiled. Seconds later, she slammed her hands together in excitement. "Holy shit! My two favorite people are an item. Jonny is this not the greatest thing ever!"
"It's a real scene, love."
Station Page 15
