by K. C. Crowne
“Mistake?” I spat. “You’re calling my son a mistake? Screw you!”
“You know what I mean,” he said glaring.
“No, I don’t think I do,” I seethed, furious. “If you think so poorly of my son, then you don’t deserve to be in his life. He’s not a fucking mistake.” Tears burned in my eyes. I hurt for Owen already. He didn’t even know what was going on, but for his own grandfather to talk about him like that? He didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve to experience the toxicity I had to endure growing up. “I’m done. I don’t give two shits about your money. Keep it. I’ll take care of myself and my son.”
“Cassie…” my mom started, rising.
“No, Mom. I’m done. I don’t need anyone to take care of me,” I snapped. I grabbed the rest of my things and made a beeline for the front door. My dad was right behind me, my mom and Isabelle behind him, trying to talk over him but failing.
“Cassie, you’re making a mistake,” Dad insisted.
“No, you’re the one making a mistake, Dad. You’re the one who’s gonna miss out on knowing your grandson because of your own stuck up attitude.”
“Jack is—”
I stopped him. “Jack is a better dad than you’ve ever been, that’s for sure.”
I opened the front door and stepped outside, letting the door slam on the way out. I hurried to my car, expecting my dad to follow me out, continuing to try and control me.
He didn’t.
I buckled Owen into his seat and heard the front door open. When I turned around, I saw Isabelle behind me in tears.
“I’m so sorry, Cassie. I wish things could be different. He’s such an asshole.”
I hugged my sister and let the tears fall. “You will always have a place in Owen’s life,” I promised. “He’s so lucky to have an aunt as awesome as you.”
“And you know I’ll always be there for you. No matter what.”
“I know, sis. I know.”
We said our goodbyes, and I got into my car. Tears continued falling, but I wiped them away, steeling myself for the drive back to Madison’s. I had to be careful, to be alert on my drive. I couldn’t let my emotions cloud my judgment with my precious baby boy in the backseat.
“Everything will be okay, Owen, I promise.”
I had no job. No money. No place to live. And I had a son to care for.
I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, but one thing was for certain: I would figure it out.
Jack
“When do you think you can come around again?” Cassie asked softly on the other end of the line.
I’d been picking up burner phones, cheap pay-by-the-month ones from Wal-Mart you could buy cards for, and leave no identifying info behind. I already used them for work a lot, so now I made sure to have a way Cassie could reach me whenever she needed to
We talked most nights, but I hadn’t been able to visit again since the first day Owen was home. After Teddy and I had been followed, I just didn’t feel safe.
“I don’t know. Soon, I hope.”
“Me too,” she said, and I could hear the pain in her voice.
It had only been a week since I saw her, but each day that passed was another day I lost with my son. I was missing out on so much. I knew he likely wasn’t going to be walking or talking or anything soon, but even the little things mattered to me. The growth spurts. Helping to feed him, to change him. I hated that Cassie was essentially raising him alone.
My other phone buzzed, and I noticed it was Hank.
“Hey, I have to go. Call you back in a few minutes, alright?”
“Sure.”
We got off the phone, and I answered Hank’s call as fast as I could. He didn’t like to be kept waiting.
“Good job on the last pickup,” he announced without preamble.
“Yeah, well, I still don’t appreciate the babysitters,” I told him. “I had it handled.”
“No one’s watching you, Jack.”
“Sure,” I muttered. “What do you need?”
“I have another job for you. A big one this time.”
“Oh yeah?” I rested against the couch. “What are the details?”
“Just another pickup, this time for a cool million dollars. All cash. Think you can handle that amount of money? It has to be counted, obviously.”
“I can handle it.”
“Good,” he grunted. “Oh, and one more thing. I’ll need you to bring it directly to me. No middleman this time.”
The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. Hank Gillespie didn’t meet with lackeys. I wasn’t even supposed to know who he was. There were only two possible scenarios here. Either he was giving me a promotion within the organization to be one of his trusted few, or he was planning to kill me.
I didn’t like my chances, considering I’d done nothing to really prove my loyalty to him. My dad, sure. But me? Nah.
“You still there, Jack?”
“I’m here,” I said. “What’s the occasion? Why are you inviting me to meet with you directly?”
“Because I need a good man like you by my side.”
Bullshit, I thought to myself, but I didn’t dare say that out loud. I had to go along with this, pretend I trusted him so he’d trust me. This could be the moment I’d been waiting for.
The moment Cassie and I had been waiting for.
“Alright, give me the details, and I’ll do it.”
“That’s why I like you, Jackie-boy, but not so fast,” he said with a menacing chuckle. “I’m still finishing up a few more details. I’ll send everything over to you next week. I just needed to make sure you had the balls for it and wanted to prove yourself. The mission itself is pretty dangerous.”
That raised an eyebrow, but I didn’t say anything. I’d learned not to ask questions. It was better just to go along with whatever Hank asked of me. He’d tell me what I needed to know in time.
“Are you not going to ask why it’s so dangerous?”
“Does it matter? We both know I’ll do it. I have a lot to prove if I wanna take after my father.”
“And hopefully you turn out better than dear old dad,” he said with a laugh.
The line went dead. I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair. I’d promised to call Cassie back, but I knew she would have questions. I also had promised her I’d ask her for her input when the time came to get evidence against Hank.
I dialed her number, and she picked up right away. “So, what was that about?”
“What was what about?”
“Why did you have to get off the phone so fast?”
“Work stuff,” I hedged.
“Like real work or, well, you know.”
“The second.”
“Oh.”
Cassie had mostly stopped asking me for details on the Hank stuff. She knew I wouldn’t break. I couldn’t. She couldn’t know anything. No one could. Their lives could be in danger if they did.
But I actually did need to talk about it. “So, I have some questions, Cassie. About gathering evidence.”
“Oh yeah?” She seemed to perk right up.
“Yeah…so let’s say I’m meeting with someone and want to record the conversation. Would that be admissible in court?”
“Utah is actually a one-party consent state,” she said.
“And what does that mean, smartypants?”
She chuckled quietly. “It means that only one member of the party needs to be aware of the recording. The other person doesn’t have to be told they’re being recorded. I’ll have to look into it further since this isn’t my area of expertise, but I can do some research and get back to you.”
“Sounds like a plan. Thank you.”
“Just one thing, Jack…please be careful. It sounds like whoever you’re dealing with isn’t the type of person who’d want to be recorded. If they catch you, I can imagine it wouldn’t be pretty.”
“I’ll be careful. I can handle that side of things,” I assured her. “I just don’
t know the law very well. Never been that great about following it, you know?” I had meant it as a joke to lighten the mood, but Cassie wasn’t laughing. I quickly changed the subject. “How’s Owen?”
“He’s doing well. Everyone keeps telling me what a good baby he is,” she told me, pride in her voice. “He seems to be, but it’s not like I have anything to compare it to.”
“Of course he’s a good baby!” I said. “He has a good mama taking care of him.”
“I just wish he had his father too,” she said sadly.
“Soon, babe. I promise.”
“I sure hope you’re right,” she replied. “In the meantime, I have to figure out what I’m going to do.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, you know I had that fight with my dad and everything. He withdrew all financial support, including for my education and for my place in Philly. As of right now, I have nowhere to go, no job, no money. Nothing.”
My heart dropped. Cassie had never talked to me about the particulars of her financial situation. I never really thought about who was paying for her schooling and everything. She was younger than me, something I often forgot since she was mature and had her shit together.
“How much do you need?”
“Oh no, Jack. I don’t want any money,” she insisted. “Madison and Teddy are helping me, giving me a place to stay for as long as I need it. I still have some money in my accounts to care for Owen and myself for a little bit.”
“How long can you live off that?”
“Maybe a few more weeks.”
I closed my eyes and let out a sigh. “Let me take care of you, Cassie.”
“How? Won’t there be a trail? And you don’t really—” She stopped before finishing that sentence, but I knew what she meant.
I didn’t really have any money myself. But every dime I did have would go to her and the baby, even if it meant I would have to go hungry.
“I’ll take care of it, Cassie. Don’t you worry about a thing.”
“I don’t like the sound of that, Jack.”
“What do you mean?”
“Just that…” She sighed. “How are you gonna take care of it? Are you gonna do a job, something illegal to make money? Will it put you in danger or get you arrested?”
“Cassie, please trust me.”
“I need you to take care of yourself Jack. Owen needs you.” After a second’s pause, she added, “I need you.”
A lump formed in my throat. I wanted to continue promising her I would be there for her, but then I thought about the call with Hank. Something was fishy. I had no idea what was going to happen with him, and I couldn’t promise that I’d make it out alive. But hopefully, no matter what happened, it would mean Cassie and Owen were safe.
So instead, I replied with, “I need you too. Both of you.”
And it was the goddamned truth.
Cassie
“Thank you so much for watching Owen, Madison,” I said, stepping into the living room, my jaw-dropping as I saw who else was on the couch. “Jack! What are you doing here?”
“Surprise!” Madison said, jumping from the couch.
Jack was holding our son and carefully got up as well, following his sister as she ran to me. “I decided it was about time for another visit.”
“I coordinated it all with Teddy,” Madison announced. “Since I knew you would be at the job interview, I thought it would be a perfect time to sneak him over so you’d have something nice to return to.”
“Interview, huh?” Jack asked.
“Yeah, just for a waitressing job at Felicity’s new restaurant,” I said, waving a hand as if to dismiss it. “It’s not much, but it’ll help.”
“Did you get the job?” Madison asked.
“Yeah, I got it,” I said, smiling. “I start on Monday.”
“Are you sure you can handle a job right now?” Jack asked, concern in his voice. “With Owen and everything?”
I knew the look he gave me. He wanted to talk to me alone. We’d been working together for a couple of weeks, trying to prepare for his meeting with some big boss type to gather evidence. I offered him legal advice on how to get evidence that would hold up in court and had researched a bit on how to get it, but that was it. Jack was adamant that the less I knew, the safer we’d all be.
“I have to, Jack,” I countered. “I’m running out of savings, and I can’t continue mooching off Madison and Teddy for the rest of my life.”
“To be fair, we’d totally let you live here forever, or at least until Owen went away to college,” Madison said with a wink. “Whatever you need.”
I took my best friend’s hands in mine and squeezed. “I know you would, Madison, and I appreciate that. But that’s not who I am or what I want to do. I need to stand on my own two feet.”
“With my help,” Jack added.
“With Jack’s help, obviously,” I said, my voice wistful at the thought. It felt like a dream to me, the two of us together, raising our son.
Madison could sense the tension between Jack and me, and she quietly excused herself. “I’ll let the two lovebirds have some time alone.” She slipped from the room, leaving me with Jack.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were looking for work?” he asked.
“I didn’t think I had to,” I defended. “I told you I needed to start taking care of us. I figured it was a given.”
“I sent money. And I can send more. You just need to tell me how much you need.”
I sighed and walked over to the couch, collapsing onto it. I rubbed my eyelids, which felt heavy with the pain that throbbed behind them. I wasn’t sleeping much. Owen woke up a little more often these days, and even when he didn’t wake me up, I struggled to sleep due to the stress.
Jack joined me, sitting down beside me as Owen began fussing in his arms.
“Here, give him to me,” I said.
“I’ve got him. You look like you need to rest.”
Jack changed the position he was holding Owen, and I watched as he smiled at his son. It tugged at my insides and made them turn to goo all at the same time. It was hard to stay mad at him. He was trying. He had sent over money, but I didn’t want him to feel pressured to participate in more illegal activity just to keep us afloat.
I also needed to feel self-sufficient, so it wasn’t just about him. I wasn’t the type of woman who dreamt of being taken care of by someone else. But I did need to rest, so I didn’t explain any of that to him.
“You know, maybe your dad was right,” he commented after a moment.
“About what?” I yawned.
“About you being better off without me. Maybe you should take his deal,” Jack said, not looking at me. His face had fallen. He was no longer smiling.
I was wide awake. “Jack, seriously? That would mean you wouldn’t get to be in your son’s life, and I’m not okay with denying either of you a relationship when I’m more than capable of surviving on my own.”
“No, I don’t wanna miss out on my son’s life,” he agreed. “That’s the last thing I want. But I can’t help but think you’ll be better off. Your dad would pay for you to finish law school, you’d never want for anything. You and Owen would be comfortable for life.”
I sat upright and turned to Jack. Reaching out, I took his face in my hands, his beard tickling my fingers as I forced him to look at me. “No amount of money would ever make up for him not having you in his life. He will know you, Jack, and that’s final. I refuse to give in on this.”
Staring into his eyes, I felt a pull toward him. Any anger or frustration from earlier had dissipated. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his. He kissed me back, and I opened my mouth for him, our tongues barely touching before Owen let out a soft cry.
We pulled away, and Jack checked on him. Owen’s pacifier had fallen from his mouth. He popped it back in with an adorable little boop and was back to smiling again.
The way Jack looked at Owen, I knew he loved him dearly. He would d
o anything for his son, even give him up if he thought he’d have a better life. I’d never have imagined it, not in a million years. I always knew Jack was a good guy down deep, but I didn’t know he’d like being a father so much.
I felt blessed to have him in my life. I was happy. At least for a few minutes, I could forget about everything we were dealing with.
“We need to talk,” he announced, shattering the mood.
“About?”
“About the job,” he said. “I have to leave tomorrow. Another reason I wanted to come by today.”
My heart dropped. “You’re meeting with the big boss tomorrow?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “I have all the wires, everything I need. I wanted to spend time with you and Owen. Just in case…” He didn’t finish the sentence, and I was grateful for that. I already had nightmares about losing him. He didn’t need to remind me about what was at stake here.
Tears burned my eyes. This was it. He was really going through with it.
“I think you should talk to Teddy, get him to help you,” I said weakly. I knew Jack had his reasons for not talking to Teddy. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Teddy; he just didn’t trust the justice system.
Jack shook his head, and he told me exactly what I’d already assumed. “You know why I can’t. The big guy is impossible to catch. He’s too powerful. Too good.”
“And you think you’re better than Teddy to catch him?”
“Yes. Because I don’t have to operate within the confines of the law,” he said. “And I can’t give myself away. If they even suspected I was working with the cops, well…”
Again, he didn’t have to finish the sentence. I knew what had happened to Madison - how they almost killed her and were planning to make it look like a suicide, just like they’d done to their father. They had feared Madison knew too much. Right now, they were hanging low, waiting for people to return to being complacent again. And then, well, who knew when they’d attack. Or who they’d go after next.
