by Amy Davies
“I was hoping he could come to the Christmas Eve party as my plus one, but I’m a little scared at how Mama-April will react. I don’t want her to scare him away.” I burst out laughing because he’s right. My mum can be a little overbearing and in your face. She doesn’t know how to hold her tongue, and she is downright scary at times. But her heart is in the right place. She told Dale to his face that she thought he was a dickhead, and that he was going to hurt me. Little did we know that she was right all along. I walk around the desk and stand in front of my best friend. I take his hands in mine and give him the sweetest smile I can muster up.
“Bring Rich, Mama-April will love to meet him, as will I. Pluuuss, it will take the attention off me and Jay.” I say the last few words really fast and leg it into the back room. I giggle when I hear his gasp.
“Hold the fuck up, woman. What do you mean ‘take the attention off you and Jay’?”
I shrug. “I asked Jay to be my date for the party. I haven’t told my parents yet. I have been too scared to.” His face softens and he pulls me into a hug.
“They will love him, Cass. He is nothing like that dickhead, Dale. Enjoy Jay, share who you are with him. He will love every part of you.” Tears prick my eyes and I try to stop them from falling. I pull back from the hug and smile up at the man who has been a big part of my life for the past few years.
“You’re right. I’m overreacting, as usual. So, what do you have planned for tonight?” I ask, as I walk over to the cleaning cupboard. I take out the sweeping brush and start to clean up around the table. Chris makes himself busy by putting things away and making sure that the salon is spotless for us when we come back in the new year, and tells me about his plans. It doesn’t take us long to clean and get everything put away. Chris grabs my coat and bag from the back office, and we lock up the salon for the last time this year. It has always freaked me out saying that, when it’s closed until the new year. I turn off the Christmas lights as we walk to the door, taking one more look around, making sure that every plug socket is turned off.
“Come on, let the Christmas party time begin. I’ll see you in a few days.” Chris leans in and kisses my cheek.
“Merry Christmas, Chris.”
“Merry Christmas, Cassie.” He blows me a kiss and climbs into his car. I climb into my own and start the engine, racking the heating up full blast. It’s bloody cold out today. Christmas songs play through the radio as I drive to Jay’s house. We’re babysitting little Phoebe while Dex and Addy have a date night.
* * *
I carry two cups of tea into Jay’s living room, but stop short at the sight before me. Jay is sitting on his couch, but slouching big time. Phoebe is resting on his chest, with her head facing me. She is awake, taking in the flickering lights around the door frame. I was surprised when I walked into Jay’s house. There is a huge Christmas tree in the corner of the room, lights everywhere, but it doesn’t seem tacky or overdone. It just looks...Christmassy. All the lights are white; none are coloured at all, and he has nicely placed Christmas ornaments around the room. Scrooged is playing on the TV and Jay laughs at whatever is happening, but I don’t see anything as all my focus is on him.
This man, who is over six feet tall, has tattoos, and can melt all knickers in a hundred-mile radius with just one smile, is making me swoon by just watching him. My knees go weak when he leans forward and kisses Phoebe’s head. That action alone makes my heart crack, allowing feelings for this man to seep through. It’s like he knows what he is doing to me. Slowly, bit by bit, he is breaking down the walls. I eventually make my feet move, stepping forward with our cups of tea, which are more than likely lukewarm now. Jay hears me and his beautiful smile takes up his face. I can’t stop the smile that stretches my mouth wide.
“I was wondering if you were going to join us or stand there and ogle me all night.”
“You knew I was there?” I ask, setting the two cups on the coffee table that has a mason jar collection. They are frosted, with stars and acorns and little berries around it. It looks amazing, especially with the small candle lit inside each jar.
“Baby, I know where you are at all times.” He winks at me. Cocky bugger.
“If you say so. That sounds creepy to me.” I smirk at him. He chuckles. I take the seat next to him and reach for Phoebe, my hand sliding across his chest and under the baby. The feel of his body beneath my hands sends tingles through me. I shiver and Jay chuckles. I give him a death glare as I lift Phoebe off his chest and into my lap, but it only makes him laugh harder. She is a little cutie; all chubby cheeks and chubby legs. She’s wearing a wicked Christmas onesie that makes her look like a Christmas pudding, and even has the matching hat. She looks so cute. I cross my legs and sit her in my lap, facing me.
“You look like your daddy. Yes, you do.” I speak to her in a baby voice. “But you have your Uncle Jay’s eyes.”
“So, who’s eyes do I have then?” Jay asks, amused next to me.
“Funny, little lady. You will leave a trail of drooling boys behind you.” I lean in and blow raspberries on her neck. Her giggles fill the room, making both Jay and me laugh.
“You’re good with her,” Jay whispers at my side. Our gaze locks and flashes of my past hit the front of my brain, bringing back all the pain that I had felt back then. Dale ripped me into pieces with his words and actions. I freeze, holding Phoebe. Staring into her eyes, thinking of what I could have had… The pain slices through me and my chest feels like it’s shrinking. Dale cost me everything I had wanted. I want that again someday.
“Kitten. Cassie. Babe, speak to me. Hey, it’s okay. Cass.” I hear Jay’s voice but I can’t focus, the pain is blinding. My body is being shaken and I’m forced out of my nightmare. I turn to look at Jay, who is staring at me with concerned eyes. I look away, seeing the pain I’m causing him, only to find my lap empty. Where is Phoebe? I snap my eyes around the room for Phoebe and see her sitting in her bouncing chair, facing the TV. When did he take her from me? Oh God, did I hurt her? She doesn’t look hurt.
“Hey, she’s fine. No need to worry.” Jay gently cups my jaw, making me face him. The concern in his eyes is disarming.
“I’m so sorry. Is Phoebe okay?” I ask. I reach up and wipe the tears away, tears I didn’t know had fallen.
“She is fine, baby. It’s you I’m worried about. What just happened, Kitten?” His voice is soft, and it is my undoing. I break down. Full, body-wracking sobs break from me. I have cried many times before today, and I swore that I would never cry over him again; over any man. Jay pulls me into his lap and I curl into him, taking in his heat and scent. His arms wrap around me, and I feel safe with him. It is the safest I have felt in a long time.
“Talk to me, babe.” I shake my head against the crook of his neck. I don’t think I am ready to tell him the full story yet. It might make him run. He may find me weak and pathetic. “You will have to tell me someday, you know. I will always be here, Kitten. Nothing will make me leave.”
I can’t be so sure that he will stay once I tell him everything that Dale did to me. It took me years to get over what he had done, and I will not let him hold that fear over me anymore, but I need to be one hundred percent sure that Jay is in this with all his might. I lift my hands to my face and swipe more tears away. Damn those things, always escaping when they know they need to stay put.
“Baby, the tears need to fall, it means that you are feeling something.” He smirks at me.
“Good Lord, I give up. Do I always say what I’m thinking around you?”
“Not always, but the best bits come out.” Smirking at me, Jay shifts me so that I’m straddling his hips. Now this is a place I could get used to sitting. I shake off the negative feelings.
I smirk at him and ask. “So, what are you going to do now, Mr Castle?” His smouldering eyes lock with mine. Damn, he has that look down to a T.
“This,” is all he says. He grips the back of my head and brings my mouth to his with a crushing force. Not
that I am complaining or anything. This man's mouth should seriously come with a ‘superhero warning’. He tastes like gingerbread; from the cookies I brought with me. One thing I love at Christmas time is the ton of cookies I get to make or buy, and then eat. Yum. I made the tea to wash them down, but the cups sit forgotten on the coffee table.
His tongue sweeps across mine, tasting me, savouring me. I moan into his mouth and his grip on my bum tightens. When did they land there? I get lost in Jay. Every time he has kissed me over the last few weeks, I have lost myself, lost a layer of the protective shield I have built around me. Jay Castle has the inner strength to pull me apart like Hulk can rip apart a bus. I feel Jay’s hands slip under my thin jumper, and shiver as he chuckles against my lips. I bull back when a loud cackling laugh comes from the TV. I turn to see the Ghost of Christmas past laugh at Scrooge, and I smile at the TV. I love this movie. Phoebe laughs from her bouncer, and it reminds me that she is in the room. Bloody men.
I climb off Jay’s lap and walk over to pick Phoebe up out of her bouncer. I turn and place her in Jay’s lap, then walk into the kitchen to get her last bottle of the night. Addy said that she will pretty much sleep the whole night after this bottle, that Phoebe is a great sleeper. I warm up her bottle and make my way back into the living room, where I hear Jay talking to Phoebe. I lean against the door frame and watch them together.
“You listen to me, young lady. That smile of yours isn’t going to work on me. You will not get everything you want.” He leans in and kisses her chubby cheek. Phoebe giggles and slaps her little hands on Jay’s cheeks, making him laugh. “Okay, fine, maybe you will get almost everything, almost. Now the boys thing we have talked about. Yeah, you know the thing. No boys until you are thirty, and even then I think you will be too young to be seeing boys. Mmmhmm, I think I need to have a talk with your dad.” He kisses her cheeks again and she giggles. I bet his stubble is ticking her baby soft skin.
“She will break hearts all over the place; she is just like her gorgeous mum,” I tell him, and walk into the room, handing him her bottle.
“Do you want to feed her?” he asks me. I shake my head. He offers me a soft smile while taking the bottle from me, then starts to feed Phoebe. I sit and watch, my heart cracking a little. One day I hope that I can have this: a family of my own.
jay
It is Christmas Eve, and I’m a bundle of nerves. Me, Jay fucking Castle, nervous about meeting Cassie’s family. Pretty much her whole family will be there, but it’s the thought of meeting her parents that is setting knots in my stomach. I push my legs fast and harder as I run along the beach front. Running helps me clear my head and sort through things easier. Cassie said that her parents are laid back, even though they come from money, but I’m still worried that they will think I’m not good enough for her. I’m a tattoo artist, for fucks sake, albeit a damn fucking good one, but still, most parents want their only daughter to marry up. Someone with a shit-ton of money.
I get closer to my house and slow my pace, bringing my heart rate down slowly. I drink the last of my water as I come to a walk. Sweat is dripping from every pore on my body. My grey jogging bottoms and grey zipped hoodie not hiding the sweat patches. But, oh fucking well, it doesn’t stop the ladies from eye-fucking me, but they don’t interest me anymore. Only one girl does.
Cassie Dawson. My kitten.
She thought it was strange that my nickname for her is ‘Kitten’ since she is a dog groomer, but she has cat paw prints tattooed on her wrist, it represents her love for cats and all fury animals. Plus, I know that she loves her cat MJ, and her little pup Stark. Which is a fucking awesome name for a dog. We’ve watched so many movies together, had Marvel marathons, plus some action movies. Cassie is a pretty awesome chick, she likes girly films, but she is more into action. We had a big discussion that Black Widow should hook up with Captain America and not the Hulk; I think they would be really hot together, but nope, little-miss-know-it-all says that the Hulk and Black Widow are in love, but he’s denying her. He is a crazy bastard to reject that fine piece of woman.
I pull my keys out of my pocket and open my front door. I have a few hours before I have to leave and go to Cassie’s parents’ house for the party. My clothes are ready and hanging in my room. I lock the door behind me and head upstairs to take a long shower. I need to rub one out, too. My dick has been hard most nights around Cassie, but we’re taking things slow. We have done some on top of our clothes touching, but not much, she is still scatty when it comes to more. I know she wants to, but she’s scared. The fuck that hurt her years ago deserves to have the shit beat out of him.
I walk into my bathroom and turn the shower on, before stripping out of my sweat-covered clothes. I don’t bother to check the temperature, I just step in under the water. The cool water hits my back as I bend forward, letting my arms hang by my side. My muscles twitch from being overworked, but this is what I love. This is what keeps me from locking up when I am bent over someone doing an hour or more tattoo session. Speaking of bending over… Fuck, my dick jumps at the thought of bending Cassie over my table at the studio and slamming in to her over and over again.
I tighten the grip on my cock while pumping up and down, thinking of how Cassie will sound when I make her come. Fuck, I bet she tastes so good. My movements get faster as the dirty thoughts run around my head. The tingle starts in my spine, and within seconds my balls tighten and my cum jets out, mixing with the water of my shower.
“God, Cassie, what the fuck are you doing to me?” I breath into the room. I think a gentle push may be needed tonight. Maybe I can get to feel her skin, and see if it is as soft as it looks.
* * *
I pull up outside the Dawson’s house and my jaw hits the floor of my car. Holy fucking shit. It is huge. They own a big, red-brick country house with a barn off to the side. A fucking barn. I am not an insecure lad, but fuck, even I know that I won’t fit in here. There are small Christmas trees outside the house, and lights everywhere. It looks posh as shit. I sit in my car and stare up at the house, then down to my clothes. Fuck, Cassie told me not to over dress, to just be me, and smart. I threw on my brown boots, with dark blue jeans and a white shirt. I added my black belt and a thin black tie. I’ve even rolled the sleeves up on my shirt; I hate feeling constricted. My shoulders sag in defeat, knowing that I can’t go in there looking like this. Cassie will be so disappointed in me.
A knock at my window startles me. I look to my right and see an older guy standing there smiling at me. I offer a quick smile and open the car door, making him step back. He’s wearing brown corduroy trousers and a navy Christmas jumper with a silhouette of a dinosaur wearing a Santa hat. I chuckle at the jumper.
“You like? Pretty groovy, if you ask me. You must be Jay. I’m Stuart Dawson, Cassie’s father.”
Well fuck a duck. I step away from my car and close the door. I lift my hand and take his offered one and we shake.
“Nice to meet you, Mr Dawson. Yes, I’m Jay Castle.”
“Oh, bollocks to the Mr Dawson crap, boy. Call me Stuart. Now, are we going to go in and be merry or stay out here and freeze our balls off?” I nod towards the house, indicating for him to lead the way. “Good choice, lad.” I follow Stuart into the house, keeping control of my awe as I step inside and behold what looks like a posh Santa’s grotto.
Holy candy canes on a fuck stick.
Christmas music plays around the room, and I breathe a heavy sigh of relief when I see what everyone else is wearing. They are pretty much dressed like me or Stuart – well, except for the some of the women; they are in dresses. There are waiters walking around with trays of food and drinks. Stuart stops one as he walks past us.
“Can you get us two bottles of Sol, please?”
“Yes, sir,” the waiter says, and scurries off.
“Cassie said that you drink larger, so I made sure that we stocked up.”
“Thank you,” I mutter. I look around the room, trying to spot the beautiful woman
in my life. “Where is Cassie?” I ask.
“Oh, I think she’s in the kitchen. Come on, I’ll show you.” Again, I follow him like a lost fucking puppy through the house. People greet him as we walk past, but he never stops. We enter the kitchen and I stop in my tracks when I see my kitten. My kitten that is being caged between the kitchen island and some guy. My blood boils as they talk and smile at each other. She fucking knew I was coming here tonight. She fucking invited me, and for what? To rub it in my face that I am not rich or good enough for her. Well, fuck her and this fucking house. Stuart clears his throat next to me, bringing everyone's eyes in our direction. Cassie tenses and her smile drops from her face. I shake my head and walk out of the room, ignoring Cassie calling my name. I make my way through the house, pushing past people that have filled each fucking room.
“Jay, wait,” she yells, but I don’t stop. I carry on out to my car, clicking the fob as I get closer. The lights flash and the door unlocks. “Jay, for fucks sake, will you stop.” Shit, she must be pissed because she just swore at me. Cassie never swears. I wrench the door open and Cassie comes barreling with such force that she throws her full weight against the car, and the door slams.
“Are you fucking crazy? You could have hurt me.”
“Jay, please, listen to me.” I stare at her, all the thoughts of us being a couple racing around my head, showing me that I was fucking wrong all along. “Why do men always act first and then not ask questions later? You always think the worst. If you had waited a little longer, you would have seen me push him away. He’s the son of my dad’s business partner, so I have to play nice. My parents know that I don’t like him, but he likes to push my buttons.”
She steps closer to me and I freeze, images of Rachel dancing with that guy flash in my head. I cannot go down that path again, she fucking hurt me. I lift my head to see Cassie looking at me, her frown marring her perfect face. She reaches up and lays her hands on my chest, her eyes searching mine, trying to figure out what I’m thinking. I show no emotion. Cassie closes her eyes and lets out a soft sigh before she steps back.
