by Dana Mason
“She relocated with me. She was one of the best coaches we had in Oakland. She followed me so she could be the lead here.”
“So…” Kelley says. “Are you two…” Her finger bounces between Brianna and me.
“A couple, you mean?” I shake my head vehemently. “No! She’s great and all, but I don’t date co-workers. It’s a strict rule. Besides that, we’re just friends—and I’m her boss. That doesn’t work.”
“Oh, right. I guess that makes sense. Probably better that you don’t.” She lifts a brow and says, “Does that mean I can fix you up?”
“Hm… I don’t know that I’ve got time for a girl right now.” I run a hand through my hair and say, “I’m not sure I’m interested in the trouble.”
Kelley laughs at that. “Okay, I can respect that, but you’re going to get old fast if all you do is work. I hope you know that.”
Chuckling, I say, “Yeah, well, let me get settled in first. Once I have my new clientele through their PT sessions, I’ll be less frantic. I also need to hire a few more coaches.”
She nods and purses her lips. “Okay. In six months, if you’re still single, I’m hooking you up with a friend.” She tilts her head and says, “Maybe even Lexi.”
“Okay, Kell, get the fuck out,” I say, straight-faced.
That really makes her laugh. “She’s great. You’d be lucky.”
“I’m sure you’re right, but I don’t need those thoughts in my head while she and I are helping you with the wedding.”
“Alright, I’m out of here.” She wags a finger at me as she turns to leave. “Six months, though.”
Eleven
Rachel
Dear Michael,
I know you don’t want to hear this, but I need to tell someone. I started dating again. It’s crazy, really. There are no words to explain what it’s like as a single mom in college trying to navigate life and dating. But I’m trying. He’s a nice guy, and I really like him, but I’m not sure I can ever love him.
Honestly, I don’t know if I can ever love anyone but you. I’m pathetic. I bet you’ve had a hundred different girlfriends since I left. You should. You deserve to be happy. Me, I’m not relationship material. I’m a mom. That’s my life.
I’ve been casually dating this guy for a few months, but last night we decided to make our relationship exclusive. It’s laughable, really. I was already exclusive… but I guess that’s not normal for women my age, so I acted like it was a big thing.
Me and Raegan. That’s the only thing I’m sure about in life. Is that sad?
Here’s a fun fact: Sometimes Raegan looks at me, and all I see is you. It’s beautiful and agonizing all at the same time.
I love you, and I miss you… still.
Rachel
Twelve
Rachel
Happy hour. It’s aptly named. Although maybe happy hours would be better. At least, I plan on making several of them happy, not just one. Raegan is spending the night at a friend’s house, and that means I get the night off. A break from her brooding. I thought we’d talked it all out. She even agreed to my plan of finding her dad and checking him out first. Then she went right back to being angry. Apparently, I’m not moving fast enough for her. I know I need to fix it and I know it’s going to be hard, but I must. Maybe after this night off, I’ll have the energy to come clean with Mike and Raegan. Maybe after a good night of drinking away my problems, I’ll be able to face him.
Isla and I are heading to the Public House, and I’m so glad I can relax and have a few drinks without having to worry about being home at a specific time. Uber. It’s another happy in my life this evening. It’s a beautiful thing when you want many drinks.
Isla and I pick a great spot on the outdoor patio. We met at my house before heading downtown, which gave me a few minutes to freshen up and change into a spaghetti-strapped, bright blue summer dress. I left my hair down and traded my studs for some fun, beaded drop earrings. The weather couldn’t be more perfect, it’s such a beautiful evening. Once the sun dips below the horizon, I’ll need to add the light sweater I brought, but right now, the temperature is comfortable. When summer’s in full gear, it’s going to be too hot to sit outside and have a drink so we’re taking advantage while we can.
The Public House is known for the pub food, and we order the most unhealthy dinners we can find and Moscow Mules. With drinks in hand, Isla and I both start to giggle. She looks at me and says, “It’s a vodka type of night, right?”
I lift my glass and say, “Amen.” I take a drink then say, “Raegan’s been so cold to me all week, it’s nice to get a break from her.”
“Have you moved forward with your plan to talk to her dad?” she asks in a relaxed tone and I know she’s trying to approach the subject without making me defensive.
I stare into my drink. “I already told her I would find him, but that’s not good enough for her.”
“You told her that, but then you didn’t do it. You’re dragging your feet, and she knows it. The girl is no dummy.”
“I know, I know.” I let out a heavy sigh because I don’t have an excuse. I’m just scared. “I promise, I will go see him next week.”
“I think that’s a great idea, Rachel. It will be difficult at first, and you’re going to be on the receiving end of anger from both of them, but it needs to be done.”
I nod and purse my lips. “I know that. I need to find the right time. I’ve been doing some research, and I know he’s got a lot going on with the new gym. They’re planning a big grand opening party and growing pretty fast. Every time I look at the website, they’ve added more coaches.”
She sips on her drink and then looks at me through lowered lashes. “I think the longer you wait, the harder it’s going to be. Honestly.”
“I don’t know if anything would make this harder.” Our food gets delivered, and I’m suddenly not so hungry for fish tacos. “He already hates me for leaving. I’m sure of that. Dropping this bomb on him isn’t going to win me any points.”
“Maybe he’ll understand, Rach. Give him a chance.”
“I will. I know I need to. I owe him an explanation, and I owe Raegan a dad. It’s important I make things right with her. At this point, I know I’m not behaving any better than my mother.”
When fresh drinks are set down on our table, we both look up at the server, confused. She smiles and says, “From the two guys…” She points and says, “Inside, at the bar.”
The Public House has large sliding-glass doors that open to bring the outside in. Where Isla and I are sitting, we can hear the crowd from inside and the music. It’s a Friday night, so the place is pretty busy.
We both look over to where she’s pointing and see the two guys sitting at the main bar watching us. Isla lifts her glass toward the guys and mouths a thank you.
I give her an incredulous look. “Woman, do not invite those guys over here. We don’t need strange men wanting to sit with us.”
The waitress leans in and says, “They’re safe.” When I turn sharply to look at her, she says, “The drinks and the guys. I know them. One of them is a regular here, and he’s super nice. The other moved to town a few weeks ago, but he’s really cool too.”
“Thank you,” Isla says with a huge grin.
I give her a hard stare and say, “But still…”
“I know. I get it. Jeez, it’s not like I’m going home with them. Just accepting a drink.”
“I’m not in the right frame of mind to stutter through forced conversations with someone I’m not interested in talking to, and I’m certainly not interested in hooking up with a strange guy.”
“Haha!” She laughs… too hard. “Are you kidding me? You’ve been the good girl your whole life. That is, if you forget that whole teenage-pregnancy thing.” She rolls her eyes and says, “You’ve been a mom for practically your entire life. You’re way overdue for a good hook-up.”
This makes me laugh because she’s right about the mom part. “Okay, you may
have a point. Being a single mom was never my life goal, and it’s all-encompassing, for sure.”
I think about what she said and scan the room until my gaze lands on the two guys who bought us drinks. As I start to turn back toward Isla, my eyes drift to the table behind them, and the couple sitting there. “Oh, hell,” I slide down and spin so my back is to the bar. “Oh, hell, Isla!”
“What is your problem?”
“He’s here. Jesus. I can’t believe it. Raegan’s father is here. He’s sitting at a table with a girl near the bar. I need to get out of here.”
Her head whips around. “Which one?”
I slide some cash across the table and say, “Pay the bill, I’ll meet you by the—”
“Hey, ladies…”
I freeze when I see the two guys from the bar approaching the table. One of them is wearing a San Diego Padres ball cap, and he’s got a massive smile on his face. I narrow my eyes at him because he looks so familiar.
“Rachel Williams?” he asks, as he gets closer.
“Yeah, I’m Rachel. Do I know you?” I say this as quietly as I can. I don’t want Mike to hear my name, not that he could from here, but just in case.
This guy’s pretty damn hot and nicely built, dressed in jeans and a long-sleeve Henley, with broad shoulders and light, startlingly blue eyes. It’s the eyes that really get my attention. I know those eyes, they’re pretty hard to forget. I stare at his smile and wonder how in the hell this could happen twice in one evening.
He removes the ball cap, and that’s when I sputter, “Adam Wright?”
“Yeah, what’s up? You don’t recognize me?”
“Oh my God. Yes, of course I do, now that you’re closer. How are you?” I whisper-shout, still crouching in my chair.
“I’ve grown up a lot since senior year at Sac State. How are you?” He gestures to my posture and says, “Everything okay?”
I nod, pursing my lips. “Yep. All good, just avoiding an ex who’s sitting near the bar.”
Isla laughs a little too loudly at that.
“It must be a night for exes,” he says with a chuckle.
“You, I don’t mind, but I really don’t want him to see me.”
He nods toward the street and says, “Want to get out of here?”
“Oh my God, yes.” I get to my feet, keeping my back to the bar, grabbing my sweater and purse. “Where are we going?”
“We were planning to head over to the Dive Bar on K. Do you want to join us?” Adam’s friend asks. “It’s a short walk over.”
“Absolutely!” I say, a little too enthusiastically. I glance at Isla and she’s nodding in agreement. “How about now?” I grip Adam’s arm and let him lead me from the patio. Thankfully, he’s a big guy, and I’m pretty hidden from where Mike’s sitting inside.
Once we’re clear of the bar, I nearly melt in relief. “Thank you so much for getting me out of there.”
He chuckles. “No problem. How have you been?”
“Whew,” I say, then I laugh. “I’ve been fine. Busy working and raising my daughter.”
“How is Raegan? Wow, she must be a teenager by now.” He snaps his fingers and says, “Thirteen… fourteen?”
“Yeah, good memory.” I turn to see Isla and his friend exiting the Public House and heading in our direction. “She recently turned thirteen.”
“Yeah, that’s right, you were so young when you had her.”
Thankfully, they approach at that moment and save me from responding.
Isla looks at Adam and says, “Thanks for the drinks.”
“Sorry, Adam, this is my friend Isla. We work together at The Sutter.”
“This is Henry,” Adam says. I shake his hand. He’s cute. Not in a hot, drooly sort of way like Adam, but still attractive. His brown hair flops over his forehead, and he has a friendly, genuine smile, with golden eyes and perfectly white teeth. His graphic tee says, Stand Back I’m about to do Science.
“The Sutter?” Henry says, “Like the hotel?”
“Yeah,” Isla responds. “Rachel manages the hotel, and I’m the wedding planner.”
“That’s cool. My brother got married there a few months ago. It was a lot of fun.”
I see Isla’s expression light up as he says this and she rests her hand on his arm. “That’s so nice to hear. I love when people say they had fun at one of our weddings.”
Crap. I see the look in her eyes, and I know that means we’re not going to make our apologies and leave without them.
We all start walking toward K Street, and as we fall in step, Adam looks over at me and says, “How’s life been treating you since college?”
“Oh, fine. How are you? How was San Diego? Did you just get back to town? I can’t believe this is my first time running into you since then.”
“Yeah, I got a job right out of grad school and stayed there for a few years, but I moved back here a couple of weeks ago.”
“So, what are you doing now?”
“I took a job with the Sacramento Sports Commission. I moved into an apartment in Midtown. I really like it there.”
“Yeah, Midtown is an up-and-coming neighborhood for sure. Very hipster these days.”
He lifts one brow. “You’re not calling me hipster, I hope.”
I laugh at his expression. “No, and no offense. Just sharing my observations.”
“None taken… I think.” He waves toward the Public House and says, “So, what’s the story with the ex at the bar. Recent history?”
“No, not recent. Ancient actually, but awkward nonetheless.”
“So, the Dive Bar?” Isla asks, with scrunched eyebrows.
“Wait—isn’t that the bar with the mermaids?” I ask, now realizing what they were talking about. I’ve heard of the bar but never been inside.
“Yeah. You’ve been?” Henry asks.
“No. Never. Do they actually have people dressed as mermaids in a tank?”
“Yep, they do a show every hour or so.” Adam glances down at his phone. “We should get there in time for the eight o’clock show if you want to see it.”
“How fun! I think we should do it, Rachel. I want to check out the mermaids.”
“Um, yeah, I guess that’s alright. I don’t know how long I’ll stay though,” I say.
“Why not? Raegan isn’t home, you have time.”
I turn to glare at Isla when she says this. “True, but it’s been a long week.”
As promised, we arrive at Dive Bar to find a massive aquarium over the long bar. The place is impressive with dim chandelier lighting and exposed brick walls framed in dark wood beams. The seating is large leather wingbacks that feel like a comfy hug when you sit in them. The music is pretty loud, and a few people are dancing. After settling in, Adam leans over and says, “Moscow Mule?”
I get close to his ear and say, “I think it’s my turn to buy.”
He shakes his head and says, “No way!” Then he’s off to the bar to get a round of drinks. Before he returns, Isla and Henry get up to dance. They look so cute together.
I close my eyes for a moment and wonder what the hell I’ve gotten myself into. I wanted a couple of drinks with my friend and a relaxing evening with a strong buzz. Now I’ve got to avoid the strong buzz so I can be on guard. Not only because I know Mike’s in the neighborhood but because I’m essentially hanging out in a strange club with a guy I haven’t seen in years. A guy I dated for a while but broke up with because I couldn’t manage school, motherhood, and a boyfriend. At least, that’s what I told him when I broke up with him. He was a great guy, and we had a good time, but I was still so hung up on Mike, I just couldn’t commit.
When Adam returns with the drinks, we try to chat over the music. He’s obviously interested but fortunately not super pushy, which is a good thing because I don’t do pushy. I actually don’t do dating… or guys at all. I haven’t dated in years… not since my last attempt went so badly.
“How about a dance?” Adam says with a huge smile.
“Ah, no, sorry. I’m not up for dancing tonight. I’d rather relax.” As I say this, the tank above the bar lights up, and large tail fins appear in the water. “Wow. They really have mermaids in that tank. That’s not strange at all,” I say, fighting not to be sarcastic.
A moment later, a woman and a man dressed in mermaid costumes start swimming back and forth. They’re waving at the crowd and posing for photos.
“This is insane,” I say.
“Yeah, it’s not your normal type of live show you’d see at a bar,” Adam agrees. “I’m not sure what I was expecting.”
After the show, Henry and Adam leave us to get more drinks. Once they’re gone, I lean over to Isla and say, “I’m so sorry. This really wasn’t my intention.”
She flashes me a huge grin and says, “It’s okay, I actually really like him. Don’t you?”
“Henry? Yeah, he seems great.”
“How do you know Adam? He’s pretty damn hot, Rachel.”
“We dated in college.”
Isla laughs a little too much at this. “Wow! Quite a night for you, honey.”
“I know. Actually, I think I’m going to take off. Do you want to stay with them and hang out?”
She nods with a slight wink. “Yes. Don’t worry about me, I can get myself home.” Just as she says this, they return with fresh drinks.
I don’t want to be rude, so I sip at my drink a little longer, chatting with Adam about his new job, but after another ten minutes, I get to my feet and say, “Well, I think I’ll grab an Uber and head home.”
Adam stands with me. “But we just got here.”
“I know, I’m sorry, but I had a very long week and I’m not up for a late night.”
Still the gentleman, he says, “I’ll walk you out.”
Again, I’m thankful not to get any grief. Most men would have tried to talk me out of leaving.
I hug Isla and say, “Have fun but make sure to call me when you get home. Otherwise, I’ll worry.”
