Gaming the System

by P A Wikoff

  “That armored horn thing over there.”

  “See. This is exactly the type of thing I am talking about. That’s not a monster. It’s a zone warden.”

  “A what?”

  “Think of it as a guard for this area. They protect the zone from invaders. Now, if you attack one, your reputation is going to be toast, and they will start to attack you on sight.”

  “Jeez. I didn’t know. That’s why I need your help.”

  “No can do, man. I’ve got my own troubles to deal with. But I’ll make you a deal. If you ever make it out of this Z, hit me up, okay?” He stopped and extended his hand to me with a wink.

  I didn’t know what a “Z” was, but I didn’t dare ask. Havok was a no-nonsense kind of guy. I liked that about him—blunt yet upfront.

  I reached out and shook it tightly. “Deal.”

  Blue words misted out of our interlocking grasp. “Friendship accepted.”

  “Take care,” Havok said with a flick of his finger, as if he were tipping an imaginary hat at me.

  Not knowing where to go, I stopped and watched as my first “friend” walked off into the distance.

  It was time to survey the area. I could follow Havok on the ascending path to my right, which looked as though it was heading straight towards the looming mansion that I started out in. To my left, there was a dark forest with scary, twisted trees, and behind me was the temple with a graveyard behind it. I spied something eerie stirring among the gravestones.

  With my trusty candle beat stick in one hand and a potion of instant healing in the other, I set off in the direction of the lesser of the three evils, ready for action.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Bubble Ghost

  H eading towards the dark and Twisted Forest, I couldn’t help but get the feeling that I was being watched, followed, or perhaps stalked…and I hadn’t even made it to the trailhead yet. Without any forethought, my step quickened anxiously into a near run. My stamina was depleting faster than the speed it granted.

  A faint high-pitched sound lingered in the air, almost like an echo. Turning my head slightly, through my peripheral vision, I saw a blur of something creeping behind me, like a second shadow, matching me stride for stride. I spun fully around and caught a flash of a small creature as it scurried behind a rock.

  So, I wasn’t imagining it? My heart was racing over something so small and non-threatening, no less. I made my approach with my candlestick in hand, ready to whack.

  “Got ya!” I jumped around the corner, my legs and arms spread wide.

  The furry black animal had a flat face and a wide mouth, which squeaked upon seeing me.

  I pointed an accusatory finger and prepared to deliver a lecture on sneaking up on people, when it stood upright and hopped all the way to the other side of the rock and out of sight again.

  The little creature made the cutest of sounds as it moved. It was as if the thing was filled with air and released some each time it landed.

  “Hey, get back here.” I turned the corner, but this time it wasn’t there waiting for me.

  “What gives?” I must have scared it away, I thought to myself, holding my candlestick above my head, falsely thinking I looked tough wielding it.

  Giving up on the chase, I continued back on the path.

  A couple of minutes later, I recognized its signature sound, not too far behind me. I rolled around, while doing the same with my eyes. This little game was getting tiresome.

  Only, this time it didn’t run. The little devil was holding out a small stick of some kind.

  “What do you want with me?”

  Striking the stick against the ground caused a tiny flame to light up. The creature turned in a peculiar way, striking something else—an awkward pose.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  The creature held the now matchstick forward and scratched its head.

  “I don’t have time for your little g…” I said, catching myself from saying the infamous bad word.

  The creature’s mouth moved, but no words came out.

  I changed to a more readied position, and the creature matched my wide-legged stance about five paces away.

  Is it mocking me? I looked at my candlestick, then held out my arms.

  The bugger did the same. It was glaring at me, with a squinty-eyed expression.

  We faced each other, motionless, like a bunch of Wild West cowboys ready to draw their weapons. There was a ton of personality in its round little face, more so than any animal I had ever seen, cats included.

  It was a standoff, and I was determined to win. However, my arm was already straining to keep the candlestick upright. In my defense, it was made of solid metal. I should have invested more points in Strength.

  The creature’s big eyes darted a couple times over at the flame that was slowly making its way down the long stick.

  Sweat crawled across my brow. I knew my challenger was sweating this trial just as much as I was, even if it didn’t perspire.

  Anything it can do, I can beat.

  The real question was, could my weak arms outlast the flame’s hunger for the stick?

  Dropping my potion of instant healing, I used both my arms to keep the candlestick upright.

  The creature followed my lead, grasping its matchstick with both paws.

  With shaking arms, I watched as the healing liquid leaked out of the cracked container, until it was all gone. I didn’t know what I was thinking. Even if I won the face-off, I may have just lost something more important than my silly pride.

  Both my arms were now cramping and straining.

  Ominous fog slowly rolled through the area and over us, as if it was curious about what exactly we were trying to accomplish. Or perhaps it was just that time of day and I was putting my own ideas onto something that couldn’t care less about such things.

  Both my candle’s flame and the creature’s flaming stick flickered against the moist air.

  My arm dipped slightly, giving in to the pain.

  “Moogi!” the creature said, pointing a fuzzy finger at me. I didn’t know what the word meant, but somehow I knew the intention behind it. It said, “You lost. I win. Take that, chicken arms!”

  “That is very specific, but okay.” I had to concede. It won, fair and square.

  My body relaxed, and I rested my arms on my bent knees. I didn’t just lose the challenge; I lost my only potion.

  The creature held what little remained of the matchstick close to its face, showing that it was still going.

  “Okay, I get it.”

  Then it pointed out how much was remaining. With a sly expression, it blew out the flame, taunting my failure even more.

  That was too far. I had tried to be respectful and a good sport about this whole ordeal. It didn’t have to rub it in my face so much.

  In one fluid motion, I took a couple of steps, leaned into a knee slide, while readying a low swipe with the candlestick.

  The little thing was so busy dancing and carrying on that it didn’t see my surprise attack until it was too late.

  Smoke from the candle marred the air as I swung at the creature. Except I didn’t connect with anything. The candlestick went right through it, as if it were a ghost.

  My shoulder… I had put everything I had into that attack, and when it didn’t connect with anything, I might have pulled something.

  To make matters worse, hot wax splashed me directly in the face. Wow, I really fumbled this attack badly.

  I didn’t have to look at my arm to know that I had lost a life for that mistake, but I did just to make sure. Yup, one hit point down.

  Then I noticed something else. I now had more mana than before. I had 35/42. This meant that I could summon another potion if I wanted to. It seemed like a glitch, but I didn’t question it further.

  As I wiped away the warm wax, which was already solidifying on my face, the creature started to laugh and point at me.

  Trying to ignore it, I pressed down on
my potion tattoo. The whole ritual happened exactly the same as the last time, theatrics and all.

  By the time I was done summoning a replacement healing potion, the creature was now rolling on the ground with uproarious laughter.

  “There is no need for that. You won. I get it.” If I couldn’t hit the thing, there wasn’t much reason for me to stick around. So I dusted myself off and started to walk away.

  The ghost creature followed close behind me. It felt more like it was pushing me along than anything else.

  “Moogi. (Come back. You’re funny.)”

  “No thank you. I’m done being made a fool of.”

  “Moogi? (Are you sure about that?)”

  “This is just my luck. I’m being trolled by a ghost,” I mumbled.

  “Moogi. (Don’t be mad.)”

  I was going to be good and mad if I wanted to. And I wanted to. Based on my current level of humiliation, I felt that “mad” was an appropriate emotion to be.

  “Moogi! (Watch out!)”

  I ducked just in time to avoid an eel-like fish snapping directly at my face. It wasn’t every day you had to watch out for fish while walking through the forest. If it hadn’t been for the warning, I would have been bitten for sure.

  Waving my candlestick back and forth frantically, I managed to push the long fish backwards.

  It wasn’t giving up that easily. It swam around for another pass.

  I marveled at how it was effortlessly swimming through the fog we were standing in. It moved gracefully, like a ribbon in the wind. When the candle’s light hit it just right, I saw that the eel-fish was translucent—showing all of its bones and internal organs.

  “What is that thing?” I said out loud, wondering how any of this was possible, with physics and all that.

  “Moogi. (That’s a level three Doom Eel.)”

  I wasn’t really asking. It was more of a rhetorical question, but I liked having the information, regardless. There wasn’t enough time to ask my follow-up question, “How the hell do you know what level it is?” because it was coming back for more.

  Both hands gripping my candlestick, I slammed into the doom eel with a thud. A red number two misted out of the beast as a burning sound emanated from my weapon’s tip. That must have been how much I hit it for. It was nice how non-intrusive that damage mechanic was.

  Wrapping itself around my weapon, the doom eel’s mouth chomped down on my hand.

  Two, two, one, three misted out of me in the same manner.

  The pain hurt so badly. I felt each razor-sharp tooth sink into me, hitting bone.

  More as a reaction than anything else, I slammed my weapon against the ground, and red numbers misted out of both of us until I couldn’t take it anymore. Then I threw my weapon across the clearing. It was the only means I had to stop the creature from gnawing on me like a dog on a bone.

  My arm was covered in blood, and I couldn’t tell exactly how much life I had left. I frantically tried to wipe and smear it away.

  Maybe if I was a little calmer, I might have just added up the numbers I had seen to get my answer. But this was neither here nor there.

  The doom eel unfurled itself from my weapon as it recovered.

  I had no weapon, no armor, no plan of action. Yet here it came again, thirsty for more of me.

  This time, I tried to outrun it, although it swam in a back and forth motion, riding the fog much better than I ran on my native ground.

  The doom eel snapped at my back, and my body did something remarkable. It perfectly rolled out of its reach, without my command. I really thought it had gotten me. I almost felt its fangs boring into me, but then I didn’t.

  This was great. I was much more agile than I ever thought I could be in real life.

  Curving around, the eel positioned itself to head me off at the pass, in a sense.

  I wasn’t scared this time, knowing that I could merely dodge out of the way like I had before. Only, I didn’t. Not this time. The doom eel latched on to my shoulder and began to feast once more.

  “Ooooouch!”

  One, one, two…the damage was racking up.

  With nothing else to do, I brought up my potion and hit the eel in the head with it a couple of times.

  The bottle wasn’t breaking, but it also wasn’t doing any damage. Maybe that was why the fishy parasite wasn’t letting go. Even if I could hurt it with the bottle, I doubted I would win at trading blows. That logic failed me with the bagmy.

  “Aren’t you going to help me?” I spotted Moogi cringing behind its little furry hands, at the sight of me getting eaten alive.

  “Moogi. (Try drinking it.)”

  What a novel idea. I popped the cork and the fluid went down easy. It tasted sweet, like honey, with a tart aftertaste. Once the final drop emptied out of the vial, the glass dematerialized out of my hand. So much for using it as a weapon.

  They weren’t kidding when they called it an instant healing potion, because that is exactly what it did. Instantly, all of my pain was erased, along with any of my blood that spilled as a result. I now saw that my hit points were back to full. It was as if time had reversed within my body, somehow.

  That didn’t last long, however. With the fishy fiend still attached to me like an unsightly mole, my hit points were ticking away once again.

  “Get it off of me!”

  Moogi just shrugged at me as if to say, “You’re on your own.”

  Trying the only thing I could think of, I dropped to the ground and rolled around, as if I were on fire.

  Four, three, one, one…the damage kept draining out of me. It didn’t matter that I had just healed. It wouldn’t take long for it to finish me off at this rate.

  I scrambled to my feet again.

  “Ahhhhh.” I ran, with everything I had left in me. Flailing my arms wildly, I headed straight towards the distant temple. Maybe if I start to bleed out, Erilyn will take pity on me and help, as opposed to this useless furry ghost thing.

  Approaching the entrance of the church, I realized that the doom eel was no longer on me.

  I looked down at my arm…five hit points left.

  That was close. A little too close. I remembered Erilyn’s warning about dying without having any unbanked experience points. I didn’t want to find out what that was all about, not after seeing the veiled terror behind her eyes when she had mentioned it.

  Catching my breath, or recovering stamina, however you wanted to look at it, I surveyed the area, trying to spot where my enemy had gone.

  Lying on the ground, about twenty feet back, was the eel, flopping around. Moogi was standing next to it, pointing and miming me smashing it with a rock.

  Walking over, I noticed it was losing one hit point every couple of seconds or so. The fog was off in the distance. I must have run out of the area, and now it’s drowning like a fish out of water. Or in this case, a doom eel out of fog.

  That was lucky of me. There was no way I was going to be able to beat something that chompy with my current setup.

  Tapping the eel with my foot, it flopped over helplessly. The beast didn’t look nearly as bad as its bite felt.

  That bite, though…

  I kicked it. Then I kicked it harder. Over and over again, I unleashed all the pain it had caused me.

  “Stupid, scaly bastard.”

  Then it bit my foot for four damage.

  I jumped backward with one hit point remaining.

  “Moogi? (Wasn’t I clear? This motion was a rock.)” Moogi held its hands a good distance apart.

  I didn’t know what felt worse, letting the fish get the better of me or this ghost creature mocking me.

  Not wanting to take any more chances, I sat down cross-legged and watched the fish slowly die before me. It wasn’t brave or exciting, but it was working. Whereas this thing was slowly losing its life, I was healing about one hit point every couple of minutes or so. This condition was called “resting.”

  “You could have helped me, you know.”

/>   The ghost creature shook its cute little head back and forth, rejecting the notion.

  Then I remembered how my candlestick had gone right through him.

  “Why are you haunting me?”

  Moogi looked up at me curiously.

  “You were following me. Don’t play ignorant.”

  “Moogi. (You created me.)”

  “Are you a ghost? Did I make you when I died? Am I haunting myself?”

  Moogi’s giggling started out low and slow and gradually got louder and more boisterous.

  Here we go again. “Stop that. If I’m wrong, just tell me. No need to make fun. I am new to this whole thing.”

  “Moogi. (Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.)”

  “You know what’s going on, so just tell me already.”

  “Moogi? (Tell you what?)”

  “For starters, who or what are you? How come I can understand your one-word language?”

  “Moogi, moogi. (I’m the visual representation of your Heads-Up Display, or HUD. I was created after you turned off all displays and went into non-obtrusive mode.)”

  “But that makes no sense. You were laughing at me; more than once, I might add. Menus don’t laugh at players.”

  “Moogi. (Yes, we do, but only when it’s funny.)” Moogi covered its mouth as it tried to hide a snicker.

  “I guess that makes me hilarious, then?”

  It nodded enthusiastically at me.

  “So is that why you knew that doom eel’s level and other stuff too?”

  Moogi made a peace sign with its fingers and winked.

  This was so strange. I was talking to a menu as though it were a person. Before I could delve into the idiosyncrasies of this new-found feature, the fish stopped dying and just died.

  “Moogi, (Congratulations. You have heroically and skillfully slain a Doom Eel. You gain 160 experience points,)” it said sarcastically.

  Not sure if this was a trick or not, I hesitantly collected my candlestick and poked at the doom eel for good measure. After a fair amount of prodding, I confirmed that it was, in fact, dead.

  Upon taking a closer look at its corpse, I found that it had a glowing item underneath it. It was a long piece of doom-eel leather. I threw it over my shoulder, and it disappeared, hopefully into my inventory.