“I’d really like my arm back. It’s new.”
“Later, just go.”
Glitch stepped into the hole and dropped out of sight.
Mason followed and swore the whole way down.
“Come on, Savant.”
“No. I’ll take my chances with the bears.”
One of the gorillas roared in pain as Brexbin and several Bearberry Bears pulled one of its arms off. The other gorillas retreated to the trunk in the center of the tree house and climbed for the hole in the roof.
Even Thorne was making his retreat up the rope.
“Oh, shit,” Savant said and closed his eyes. “Just push me.”
Jake grabbed Savant around the waist and shoved them both through the hole. Savant screamed as they fell. Jake’s own cry got stuck in his throat and before it could work itself free they were on the back of a dinosaur, charging through the park.
11
Going from a tree full of murderous anthropomorphic teddy bears to the back of a charging triceratops wasn’t necessarily a fundamental leap in absurdity, but it did take some adjusting to. By the time Jake had come to grips with their new, yet equally weird, situation, Savant was already trying to scream ‘whoa.’
“Whoa!” screamed Savant. “Whoa! Whoa!”
“I don’t think it knows ‘whoa,’” yelled Jake.
“Well it didn’t know ‘fucking stop’ either, so I’m all out of ideas.”
The two men jostled along ten feet from the ground as the dinosaur smashed its way through the park. Every step shook the ground and tossed the riders back and forth inside the leather howdah that had broken their fall. Every few steps tossed Jake into the air high enough to see over the beast’s mantle. From there he could see two more Triceratops running ahead of them. Between the thuds of the feet, Glitch shouted ‘whoa’ loud enough for Jake to hear.
Savant landed hard in the saddle and grabbed a leather strap. He wrapped his hand around it and tried to find another. “Where is this thing taking us?”
Another stomp sent Jake spinning and he found himself facing the Great Bearberry Tree behind them.
The colorful Bearberry Bears rushed from the door like marshmallows spilled from a box of Lucky Charms. Fluffy and furious, they waddled fiercely down the pathway faster than Jake had assumed a waddle would take anyone.
The Tyrannosaur that had greeted them on Rockwell Ave stomped into the middle of the mob and sent many of the bears scattering into bushes and behind trashcans looking for safety from the 40-foot long beast. The braver, or dumber, ones stood their ground and tried to climb the great dinosaur’s legs.
The T-Rex roared and stomped its feet to shake them free. It snapped at the bears like fleas and gnashed at least a few in its massive jaws before tossing the pieces aside and going back for more.
The Triceratops herd was quickly coming to the edge of the Bearberry section of the park. The beasts circled right around an overgrown row of hedges and barreled what felt like north.
Jake could hardly tell. He was spinning in the basket that had once served as a ride. He finally found his footing and pulled himself to his knees to see where they were going.
Savant refused to get off his back. “What do you see?”
“There’s a bridge up ahead. I think it takes us to the prehistoric area.”
“I’m going to say that’s a good thing,” Savant replied. “Though I have absolutely no way to back that up with facts, hunches or wishful thinking.”
The lead Triceratops thundered across the wooden bridge with Hailey and Kat in tow. Glitch and Mason were close behind and about to cross when the bridge exploded in a blast of flames and splinters.
“What the hell was that?!” Savant gripped the straps tighter as their Triceratops reared back and turned away from the fire.
The other dinosaur had stopped as well, and Mason risked standing in the howdah. He caught Jake’s eye and shouted. “What’s the plan, boss?”
A chorus of giggling rose behind them as an army of Bearberry Bears raced after their prey as fast as their waddling would allow. The plush bear battalion had armed themselves. They waved torches, sticks and God knew what else. The T-Rex was nowhere in sight.
Jake turned back to Mason and yelled, “We’re going to run.”
He drew his pistol and fired at the feet of Glitch and Mason’s dinosaur. The Triceratops sprang forward at the report and rushed toward another bridge on their left.
He fired again and their own Triceratops leapt into action by taking a wide turn to the left. But it was too wide. The creature was heading straight for Brexbin’s evil army and a half dozen camera drones that were waiting around for something to happen.
“Wrong way! Wrong way!” Jake shouted.
Savant screamed, “It doesn’t know ‘whoa’ but you think it knows ‘wrong way’?”
The dinosaur lowered its massive horns and charged on. The sound of a Triceratops plowing into a phalanx of teddy bears was surprisingly squeaky. A delightful squeak like the one found at the center of a plush dog toy. There was screaming as well, of course. The lucky bears were bowled aside while others were trampled beneath the dinosaur’s massive feet, leaving a selection of plush bear skin rugs behind in assorted colors.
Mufkin took a horn in the face. Speared through the eye, the bear kicked his stubby, chubby little legs and struggled to free himself. He ended up swinging back and forth by the eye until the dinosaur decided to shake him free.
The squeaks and screams faded as the elephantine creature reached the southern end of Bearberry Square. The beast crashed across a concrete bridge that separated Bearberry Land from the rest of the park.
Neon lights lined the bridge and flowed into the air along steel beams. Four of these beams met overhead and formed a cradle supporting a large metal globe that rotated slowly beneath a patchwork of holograms. The projected scenes changed often and displayed rocket ships, aliens and thousands of diverse faces smiling in a message of universal acceptance and sappiness.
Eventually these vignettes scattered into pixels, and the hologram’s rays covered the surface of the bridge. They shot back into the air a moment later and came together once more. They danced in the sky until letters sprawled across the spinning globe and spelled out, “Welcome to Futopia.”
The light show only grew in intensity as Jake and Savant rumbled further into Futopia. Every ride and shop had its name projected into the night sky. The animated logos danced brilliantly above the street and distracted their eyes from the path ahead.
Even Triceratops weren’t immune to flashy lights and shiny things. The giant robot grunted and stumbled forward. It wobbled to the right, trying to regain its balance, and threatened to tip Jake and Mason from the howdah. It then overcorrected and tipped them the other way.
Jake felt himself slipping from the leather basket and grabbed for anything he could to keep from falling.
Savant grabbed Jake’s hand and pulled him back in as the creature veered toward the storefronts and promenades that advertised “out-of-this-world” adventures, “other-worldly” experiences and “extra-stellar” coffee mugs.
Jake fell on top of the engineer as the Triceratops’s shield crashed through an awning. The fabric fell and draped over the creature’s eyes, causing the machine to panic. The dinosaur bucked and spun wildly in an attempt to clear its vision.
The first buck slammed Jake into Savant. The second sent them both tumbling into the street.
Jake hit the ground with an explosive breath as the wind left his lungs. He clutched his chest as it refused to draw more air. He didn’t move. He wanted nothing else but to lie there and let it drift slowly back into him. But there was a dinosaur crashing around in the street next to him.
A foot stomped the asphalt near his head with a hollow thunk that made him decide, air in his lungs or not, he had to move. He rolled toward the sidewalk as the creature bucked and spun once more. It came crashing down on the sidewalk and nearly flattened his head. Jak
e rolled back into the street and back toward the sidewalk once more, before he figured it would truly be best to stay put until the rampage ended or he was crushed. Either way was fine with him.
Savant grabbed him and pulled him to his feet.
Together, the two rushed into an abandoned storefront and watched the dinosaur dance.
A few more spins and counter spins shook the awning from the giant robot’s face. Once the fabric had fluttered to the ground the beast stopped moving altogether, snorted once and ran off into the darkness of the park.
“Hardly a loyal creature,” Savant snorted. He stepped into the middle of the street and found what had caused the animal to stumble. He kicked at a metal rail with his toe. “Here’s what tripped Fido. What do you think it is?”
Jake took a moment to savor the fact that he was breathing once more and joined Savant in the road. The metal rail was about five inches tall and ran as far as they could see in either direction. “Looks like a railroad track. I don’t remember this from the maps. Maybe it’s…” Jake looked up and dismissed his own thought as he pointed to a concrete structure overhead. “No, that’s the monorail.”
Savant kicked the rail again. It rattled. “This looks pretty shoddy.”
Jake recapped. “We were just rescued by a dinosaur, a man and his apes, and Kat, who was dressed up like a jungle princess. I’m not questioning anything.”
“You make several solid points. And I think it’s fairly safe to say that Kat didn’t tell us everything. Why do you think that is?”
One of the camera drones had caught up to them and zoomed in for a close up of Jake’s response.
Jake looked at the camera and then back to Savant. “I’m sure it’s none of our business.”
“I’m pretty sure once a clan of four-foot teddy bears tries to kill you, it becomes your business. There’s probably a legal precedent.”
Jake ignored the comment. He was just as curious as Savant but guessing wasn’t going to help them. “Let’s just figure out how to regroup with the others.”
Savant pointed at the track. “We might as well follow this rail. It’s bound to have a train or something at the end of it, right?”
Jake agreed and they walked down the street.
Savant hopped up on the sidewalk and peered through a storefront window. “It’s a quiet little Futopia, isn’t it?”
“Hopefully it stays that way.”
“No dinosaurs. No bears.” Savant’s head bobbed in agreement with himself. “This is my favorite part of the park so far.”
Jake looked around the abandoned streets. The lights were still pulsing. Music emanated from inside the buildings as they walked past. But nothing was moving. “I was looking forward to this part.”
“Why?” Savant asked, and then answered with another question. “Oh, because you’re an idiot?”
“Not all of us are as jaded as you, Savant. Actually very, very few people are. Probably no one.”
“Thank you.”
“I grew up on these shows. I watched the Monkeynauts every day after school. They were a big part of my childhood.”
“Oh yeah. What was it about? Let me guess, monkey astronauts. I feel like I really missed out.”
“Since you asked, and specifically because I know you don’t really care, I’m going to tell you.”
“Please don’t.”
“The Monkeynauts were a group of, yes, monkeys, trained by NASA for early flight tests. But on their initial flight they encountered a strange light and became super intelligent. They chose to use their newfound intelligence to protect space from the evil Major Ursa and his Cosmomutts.”
“Because these Cosmomutts were trying to pee on everything.”
“Yes, Savant, they were trying to pee on everything and spread communism.”
“So you liked it because it was retarded.”
“I liked it because they were a team. They overcame their differences to solve problems and to do what was right.”
“Holy shit. It was like foreshadowing for your entire life.”
“Not really. The Monkeynauts didn’t have an arrogant asshole.”
“Yeah, Mason can really push it sometimes.”
The track split at the end of the street and Jake looked to the left. The rail continued on a bit before disappearing around another corner. Was that the way?
“So what’s this thing then, super nerd?” Savant asked.
“Really? Super nerd?” Jake turned and saw the building. A sleek, futuristic interpretation of the Roman Colosseum rose two-hundred feet into the air. Banners strung from the exterior featured the stars of the show inside: the TraceRacers and the Dark Riders.
“So these TraceRacers fought these Dark Riders on futuristic motorcycles? No wonder I’m smarter than everyone else. This shit is worse than eating paste.”
Jake stared at the image of the Dark Riders on the banners. The TraceRacers appeared scrappy, and their bikes appeared cobbled together. Classic underdogs. But the Dark Riders were uniform in their appearance. Dressed in black and red, their eyes hidden behind dark visors, these were beneficiaries of a fictitious dystopian government sponsor called The Ordinance and enforcers of their unpopular policy.
Savant pointed to the massive steps that led to the arena. “So do we go in?”
“You just said you were smarter than everyone else.”
“I—”
“And you want to go in there?”
“What? Are you scared?”
“Yes. Aren’t you?”
“I’m not saying I get warm fuzzy feelings from the place, but it’s probably empty, right?”
Jake kicked the rail at his feet and followed it up the steps through the front door of the arena. It suddenly became clear who had laid the track throughout the streets.
Before Jake could explain his conclusion, an unearthly whine caused both men to turn.
The Rider was barely a shadow against the night, but his bike sprayed the ground around him with a purple, nearly black, light. The Dark Rider set a foot down and stared at him.
“Those are the bad guys?” Savant asked.
“You have to ask?”
“Not really. Their design scheme is a complete stereotype. Black on black. Expressionless mask. They probably don’t say anything either, do they?”
“No, they just pretty much killed people.”
“I assumed as much. Should we just run then?”
“Running would be best.”
Futopia’s layout was a labyrinth of streets and alleyways inspired by the dystopian cityscape from the TraceRacers show. The wide avenues were crossed with claustrophobic alleyways that were never intended for parkgoers. Jake and Savant scrambled down the alleys anyway as the whine of the Dark Rider’s cycle filled the streets.
Many led to dead ends, and the two men cut around corners looking for a way out. They quickly ran out of alleyways and raced down a side street toward the bridge that had brought them here. But a cycle cut off their exit at the end of the street. The Rider made no move to dismount but was clearly not going to move out of their way.
Jake cut back to return to the main avenue. Two more Riders shot across their path while a third turned down the street toward them.
The whine of their engines was electric. It built like a lightning strike and crackled as they gave their cycles more and more power.
The Rider that had cut off their escape turned down the street and shot down the rail toward them.
Jake scrambled to the sidewalk and found an unlocked door at a shop called Martian Mementos. He turned back to call to Savant and found that the man was in no apparent hurry to get off the street.
“Hey, moron!”
“Jake,” Savant responded with no shortage of insulting inflection. Even his posture became condescending as he kicked the track in the middle of the street. “They are attached to the rail. All we have to do is step aside and they can’t get us.”
“Move!”
Savan
t sighed and said, “Just watch.” He turned and walked back to the middle of the street and straddled the rail.
“You are a complete—”
Savant made no move but to roll his eyes. “Respect the system, Jake.” With this he turned to face the Dark Rider speeding toward him.
The dystopian foot soldier leaned forward, streamlining his body against the bike, and twisted the throttle to increase his speed. The distance between the two shrank in an instant.
The Dark Rider was now on top of Savant and the engineer smiled as he stepped a couple of feet to his side. The smile evolved into a smirk directed at Jake as the Dark Rider sped by without touching him.
“Tada,” Savant proclaimed, and he took a bow.
Savant did not see the Dark Rider stand in the bike’s saddle or launch itself into the air. He didn’t see the surprisingly graceful reverse vault performed by the Rider. He didn’t see any of it until Jake shouted his name in warning.
Savant turned in time only to see the masked Rider kick him in the chest and drive him to the ground.
The Dark Rider pinned Savant to the street and raised a fist to strike.
A bullet shattered the black visor and threw the Rider’s head back, but Jake’s shot was not enough to stop the punch.
Savant didn’t necessarily have the best reflexes on the team, but he could cower faster than anyone and it was kind of the same thing. He did his best to curl into a ball and managed to avoid the punch.
The Rider’s fist sunk wrist-deep into the asphalt. It leered up at Jake. The visor gone, the Rider’s face was clearly not a face at all. It was only a patchwork of sensors and servos. Faces cost money and there was no reason to waste money on something no guest was ever intended to see.
Effortlessly, the Rider pulled his hand from the street and stood, lifting Savant from the ground in the process.
Jake leveled the gun at the machine and shouted. “Put him down!” And, before he finished speaking, he regretted his choice of words.
Hearing this phrase, any character from a children’s cartoon had no choice but to comply by throwing the person in question.
Jake did his best to catch Savant. His best being woefully pathetic, the two ended up in a heap on the ground. Jake’s gun spun out of his hand and clattered away somewhere on the poorly lit street.
Junkers Season Two Page 9
