“No, Kit. You mustn’t think that. I care for you. So very much. But I can’t leave you in limbo.”
“I’m willing to wait in limbo. For forever if need be.”
“I appreciate that. I really do. But I can’t ask that of you.”
“When do you fly home? Can we still have tonight?”
“I’m sorry, Kit. I think it would be best if you leave now.”
Kit stopped and stared at Savannah. She felt like she’d been punched in the gut.
“So your mind’s made up?”
“I’m afraid so.”
Kit walked to the door. With her hand on the knob, she turned to face Savannah.
“I’ll never forget you, Savannah.”
“Nor I you. Take care of yourself, Kit. And be careful out there.”
Kit turned the knob and walked away. She was devastated. Crushed. Her heart ached. How could Savannah have written her off so easily? She’d never get over her. Ever. And she’d never give her heart again. Of that she was certain.
She wandered through the casino seeing nothing. She found herself at the roulette table and gambled for a while. She won big but didn’t feel any better. She cashed in and caught a taxi back to Fremont Street. She had to pack and get ready for Connecticut. Like it or not, life would go on. The pain in her chest intensified as she picked up her rooms and loaded her suitcases. She didn’t want to go to Foxwoods. She wanted to go to Maryland. That’s where she belonged.
What had really happened to take Savannah home? Had she been pulled from the case? Was there really a sick aunt? Kit would never know. She fought the tears that threatened. She wasn’t a crier, but damn it, she hurt.
That night she hardly slept at all and finally got up at three to walk up and down Fremont Street. Even at that hour in the morning the street was teeming with tourists. Kit wandered in and out of casinos stopping here and there to play cards or roulette.
She couldn’t believe it was ten o’clock when her stomach growled and reminded her to eat. She got brunch then called a car to take her to the airport.
This time there’d be no Savannah waiting for her. Would Savannah really someday reach back out to Kit? Kit felt like those had simply been kind words meant to soften the blow. But she wanted so desperately to believe them. She couldn’t imagine a life without Savannah.
Kit’s car was waiting for her at the airport in Connecticut. She asked the driver to turn off the music. She wanted silence. Deafening silence to be alone with her thoughts.
Her Airbnb was quaint and comfortable. She barely noticed. She sank into a chair and stared at the wall. Her whole world was shattered. She knew she had to pick up the pieces and move on but had no desire to do so. She just wanted to wallow in her misery.
She got out her phone and searched for the closest liquor store. There was one on the corner two blocks from her. She walked down, bought a bottle of whiskey and walked home. She poured herself a glass and downed it. That’s what she needed. Something to numb the pain.
Kit woke the next morning, alone and with a pounding head. She walked to the kitchen to make some coffee and saw the whiskey bottle now half empty. Hair of the dog. She took a long swig straight from the bottle. It tasted vile in her hungover state, but she didn’t care. She took another drink then set the bottle down and started making her coffee.
When her coffee was ready, she poured a cup and took it out to the wraparound porch. She sipped it as she watched people drive by. Everyone was going about their day as if the world hadn’t ended. She knew better.
Chapter Twenty-five
Savannah sat in the apartment she kept in the city for occasions such as these. She had to meet with Director Bremer in the morning, so she hadn’t bothered going home yet. Hampstead, where she lived and escaped to, was close to Baltimore. It was an hour and a half from DC, but that was an hour and a half she didn’t feel like driving. She’d go there tomorrow to regroup. For the moment, she needed to clear her mind.
Easier said than done. She missed Kit with every fiber of her being. How else could she have handled it though? She couldn’t very well have told Kit she was an FBI agent who needed to fly home because she hadn’t caught an international jewel thief. Who may or may not be Kit. Probably was. But not necessarily. But maybe. Stop. She had more important things to worry about.
What did this demotion mean? Would she still be a lead agent on another case? Would she be confined to desk duty? Would she even have a job? Too many questions and she wouldn’t have any answers until morning.
She ordered some dinner, but then couldn’t eat. Her stomach was in knots. Her nerves were running rampant. And she missed Kit. Life, which had been so exciting on so many levels, was now a dull gray. There was no brightness. No sunshine. It was dismal indeed.
She went to bed missing Kit and tossed and turned all night, thoughts alternating between Kit and her meeting. She gave up at four and made coffee. She wondered what Kit was doing. Was she truly in Connecticut? Or had she gone home? Not that it should matter to Savannah. She’d made her bed and now she’d have to lie in it. Only lying in bed without Kit was nowhere near as fun.
Savannah showered and dressed in a black pencil skirt with matching blazer. She wore a white blouse, slipped on black flats, gathered her notes and things from the investigation, and headed to headquarters.
She arrived fifteen minutes early and sat in the director’s waiting room. His assistant offered her coffee and doughnuts, but Savannah was too ill to partake. She hated the unknown and wasn’t crazy about change, so she sat in a state of nausea waiting to be called in.
Director Bremer was always so punctual. He must be really pissed to leave her stewing in her own juices for so long. It was an hour later, at eight forty five, that he finally opened his door.
“Brown. Come in.”
His tone was icy, and Savannah forced herself not to pull her jacket closer around herself. She felt the chill to her bones. This was not going to go well.
Bremer closed the door behind her and walked behind his desk. He motioned to one of the chairs across from him and Savannah sat.
“I take it all this is associated with your quote unquote investigation?”
He motioned at her briefcase and whiteboard.
“Yes, sir.”
“You really disappointed me on this one, Brown. I don’t mind saying so.”
“Sir, this thief is really good. He leaves no evidence behind and everyone he steals from tells a different story.”
He held up his hand to silence her.
“I understand there was a woman. Who might have been a prime suspect. Was she ever interviewed?”
“No, sir. But I investigated her myself. Turns out she was clean.”
God how she wished those words were true. She wished she was positive Kit was innocent. Damn how she wished that.
“So in all that time you only had one suspect who you supposedly investigated. How many other suspects did you investigate?”
“We didn’t have any suspects. I’m telling you, if you listened to the victims, it was a different suspect at every scene.”
“Spare me. You blew it. You traveled around the world living in the lap of luxury. You weren’t interested in catching the criminal. You were too busy enjoying the good life.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Hand over everything associated with the case. I’m putting Nguyen in charge. I want you to take two weeks while I decide what’s next for you.”
“What are you leaning toward?”
“Honestly? I haven’t decided. But I’ll meet with some people, try to calm down, and make my decision. Meantime, I don’t want to see you or hear from you for two weeks. Think about how badly you messed up on this case and what you’d be able to do next time to improve. Now go. Get out of here.”
Savannah stood, legs quaking. She managed to keep it together until she was on the Metro. Tears escaped and trickled down her cheeks. She struggled to keep the rest in check. She finall
y arrived at her stop. Savannah hurried to her apartment, slammed the door behind her, and threw herself on the couch. She pounded it with her fists as the tears flowed freely. She was gagging she was sobbing so hard. And yet the tears kept coming.
She couldn’t abide the thought of being taken off the case. How dare Bremer think he could discard her like yesterday’s trash? She had proven herself a great agent. The jewel thieves were unsolvable. Li wouldn’t have any better luck than she had.
Or maybe he would. He wouldn’t lose his objectivity. He wouldn’t be seduced by her charm and intelligence. He wouldn’t let his heart become involved. Yes, he could do so much better than she had.
Feeling marginally better, Savannah loaded her car and drove to Hampstead. The farther she got from DC the calmer she felt. When she drove down picturesque Main Street, she breathed a sigh of relief. She was home. And she’d be fine if she never had to leave again.
* * *
Kit dressed for her big night, but her heart wasn’t in it. She still ached for Savannah and knew taking some strange woman to bed would only deepen her grief. She questioned yet again how much longer she could do this. She didn’t need the money. And the thrill of the chase was gone.
She rode to Foxwoods and the site of the big tournament. Let It Ride was the game of choice that night and Kit noticed many tournament widows as she passed through the slots area. Lots of women seemingly alone adorned in copious amounts of diamonds. She needed to find her groove. But she just wasn’t feeling it. She walked into a bar and ordered a drink.
“Hey good-lookin’,” a soft voice said in her ear. “Come here often?”
Her stomach tightened. Had one of her victims found her? She slowly turned toward the voice and saw an attractive woman just a few years older than herself standing there. She smiled. An easy target. How nice.
“Have we met?” Kit said.
“Only in my dreams.”
How cliché. But again, she’d be an easy target and Kit could use that.
“I’m Andi,” Kit said.
“Madeline. And it’s such a pleasure to meet you. You’ll have to forgive me for coming on so strong, but you’re like my ideal woman. Right down to the dimples.”
Kit smiled more broadly.
“Wow. Thank you. I thank you and my ego thanks you.”
“I see I’m too late to buy you a drink.”
“Yes.” Kit raised her glass of whiskey. “But perhaps I can buy you one?”
“I have a drink at the table. Join us? We’re just a group of lonely old lesbians and we’d love it if you’d join us.”
Kit thought for a minute. Group? That meant witnesses. That wasn’t going to happen.
“Thank you, but no. I’m just going to finish my drink and be on my way.”
Madeline looked crestfallen.
“I’m sorry to hear that. Can we meet up later?”
“I’ll keep my eyes peeled for you.”
“You’re such a doll. It was a pleasure meeting you.”
“And you.”
Madeline walked back to her table and Kit turned back to the bar. Her mood, which had elevated oh so slightly was back in the basement. She didn’t need to be here. She didn’t need to steal. Sure, she’d get in trouble for not scoring, but she didn’t care. She had to get out of there. The noise from the machines, the perfumes, the chatter all combined to make her nauseous. She stepped out into the evening air and called for a car. She was through.
She felt lower still as she rode back to her house. She had nothing to live for. No Savannah. And now, no career. She’d never felt more lost. The ride back to her house was uneventful. She arrived, packed her things, and pulled out her phone. She looked for flights. How she wished she knew how to find Savannah. But all she knew was that she lived in Maryland. She didn’t even know which city. Annapolis? Baltimore? Somewhere in between? And what was her last name? Could it be Savannah never told her? It was possible. Damn.
She booked a flight that left in three hours. She’d be home soon. Home. California’s Central Coast. It would be nicer there. So beautiful. And lonely. She could barely face the thought of being alone on her acreage. Sure, the horses probably missed her, and her dogs probably wouldn’t remember her. Carlos, her friend who stayed at her place with his boyfriend, had probably given up on her ever coming back.
Kit sent him a text saying she’d be home that night but not to worry. She’d stay in the guest house that night. He could move back in the following day. She climbed into her hired car and headed for the airport.
As she sat in the terminal wondering what she would do with her life, she grew lonelier and lonelier. And her thoughts kept returning to Savannah and how right everything had seemed. Had Savannah really been toying with Kit the whole time? Was Kit just another suspect to Savannah? She didn’t want to believe it. She refused to. She sent her a text.
I miss you.
She waited and waited and, when she finally turned her phone off on the plane, she still hadn’t gotten a response. She ordered a double whiskey and Coke and settled in for the flight home.
It was a long flight with a dreaded layover. It was four in the morning when she landed at the tiny municipal airport. She climbed into the waiting car and closed her eyes for the drive to her ranch. She let herself into the guesthouse, stripped, and climbed into bed. She was home. She opened the bedroom window and smelled the sweet smell of the apple trees. She let the cool breeze wash over her.
Kit woke up at two the following afternoon. She was hungry, lonely, and wanted nothing more than to sleep some more. She made herself get out of bed and lug her baggage to the main house. She found Carlos sitting in the living room watching TV. He jumped up when he saw her come in.
“Hey there, world traveler. Welcome home.”
Her two beagles, Scout and Buddy, bounded over to greet her. She gave them lots of love as she spoke to Carlos.
“It’s good to be home. I suppose.”
“You suppose? What gives? And what’s with the abrupt arrival? I didn’t expect you home for months. I figured you’d be out breaking hearts all over the world, loverboi.”
She quit petting the dogs and looked at Carlos.
“That’s exactly what I was doing. For a while. Then I met somebody. Long story short, she broke my heart.”
“Oh, Kit.” He pulled her into a bear hug. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I thought you were doing a fine job of protecting that organ.”
Kit sighed heavily.
“Yeah. I was. But she worked her way in then dumped me out of the blue. I’m crushed.”
“Oh, honey. What can I do to help?”
“Let’s go to the beach. I need some salt water therapy.”
“Are we going surfing?”
“No. Let’s just go to Avila. We’ll get lunch and watch the waves. You up for that?”
“I’m up for whatever you need, Kit. Anything for you.”
Chapter Twenty-six
Savannah stared at her phone in between weeding her flower beds. The yard women had done a fine job of upkeep while she was gone, but she spotted a few weeds and, loving to work in the yard and needing something to do, she decided to have a go at the weeds. But the more she pulled, the more she thought. And the more she thought, the more she wanted to cry. She missed Kit so very much. And as her late night text informed her, Kit missed her, too.
Should she respond? What would she say? It was a big mistake and I’m flying out to find you? I miss you too so please come visit? Neither of those was practical. There was nothing she could do for at least two weeks. And then? Well, if she got a new assignment, she’d be too busy to worry about Kit. God, she hoped that was how it would play out. And if she was dismissed? She didn’t want to think about that. How the hell would she survive without her career? Yes, she had plenty of money thanks to everything Lucinda left her. But her career was her life. She’d be lost without it.
She was hot and sweaty so went inside to cool off. She took a cool shower a
nd poured herself some of the lemonade Mrs. Dennis had made that morning. She loved the elderly woman who took care of her and her house. At least Savannah had had someone to talk to that morning. Though it wasn’t the same. And for a few hours, Savannah hadn’t been alone.
“And, young lady?” Mrs. Dennis said as she left. “If you decide you want to talk about her, I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Was Savannah that transparent? She didn’t like the concept that she was moping around, simply going through the motions. But that’s exactly what she was doing. She needed to find something that interested her. Something to keep her busy and get her mind off Kit. But what?
She had a strange, painful feeling in her stomach and realized she was hungry. She hadn’t eaten all day. Maybe she should go down to Main Street and have some dinner. She could interact with neighbors. While that seemed like a lot of work, it also sounded like something to keep her busy. She went upstairs in the old Victorian house and took another shower.
Savannah dressed in a long blue denim skirt with a pale green blouse. She slipped on some sandals, grabbed her purse, and walked the half mile to Main. She stepped into her favorite restaurant and let the familiarity wash over her. It was early yet, but there were a decent number of patrons there. One by one, the women of the tables approached her, hugged her, and asked how she was doing. She smiled and told everyone she was fine. She had several offers to join her neighbors for dinner, which she graciously declined. While it was good to see everyone and wonderful to feel included, she didn’t think she’d be good company for a full meal.
So she took a table by herself and enjoyed the breadsticks while she waited for her crab cakes. Dinner was tasty which surprised her. She hadn’t tasted anything, really tasted anything, in several days. Not since she’d told Kit good-bye. The thought caused a lump in her belly and she was glad she’d finished dinner.
Her next-door neighbors appeared at her table. The Goldens. They invited her to join them at the bar for some after dinner drinks. She wanted to decline, was just about to when Nadine Golden spoke.
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