by Nina Bocci
I was astonished. “I had no idea.”
Emma nodded. She pulled out onto the main stretch of road that led back into town. “The two of them were always helping my dad out when he was running, so we weren’t sure if they’d be able to for Cooper, since they’re a lot older now. I couldn’t have been more wrong. Gigi played hostess for a couple of meetings and organized a postcard campaign to maximize our efforts. She even helped register voters at the high school. The kids loved that because she was their doctor growing up. I think it made her day to have so many remember her as a positive influence on their lives.”
I smiled, glancing outside at the town passing by. “I don’t know anyone who doesn’t love her.”
As the town rolled by, I thought about Gigi’s face when I got to the house. There wasn’t a shred of sadness there. She radiated happiness. But why did I feel so lousy all of a sudden?
“Why so glum, chum?” Emma asked, perhaps sensing the shift.
I shook my head slowly. “I can’t believe how much I don’t know about her or, hell, even my dad. Their lives here are so full, and I’ve never asked. It’s like the subject was off-limits and we only stuck to happy things like reality television and our favorite sports teams.”
Emma patted my hand. “You said it yourself: you’ve been busy. They understand that you were trying to advance your career in the city. Working that much couldn’t have been easy.”
“It wasn’t, but it’s not like I was that busy that I couldn’t have visited at least once in the past couple of years. I’m surprised they’ve been so welcoming after how shitty I’ve been.”
The gnarly twist took hold again in my stomach when I glanced at Emma’s expression. She knew I was right. And shitty.
“I know that I’m their daughter and granddaughter, but if it were me, I’d be mad if my kid didn’t have the decency to visit.”
“Really? After knowing everything that went on between you and your mom, you’d risk alienating your kid? While I won’t discount your feelings, I think you’re being hard on yourself. You staying away from here was what you thought was right. Maybe you weren’t supposed to come back until now.”
I nodded. “Fate, man. I believe in it.”
“Now,” she said, lowering her voice to a stern, mom-like tone. “I do think you do need to have a come-to-Jesus with Gigi and your dad about some of the guilt you’ve been feeling. No use keeping it bottled up if you’re going to be here a while.”
Emma lowered her window, letting in a sweet-smelling breeze as we passed the apiary.
“Keep in mind, I’m here if and when you need me. To vent, commiserate, swoon, whatever. Don’t forget that.”
I smiled, looking down at the remarkably clean floor in her car. “I won’t forget. Wait, swoon?”
“Hey, who knows,” she said with a laugh. “Keep your eyes open, you never know what this place will present as an option to you. Ahem, Dr. Max.”
“You act as if this place is magic, and my God, you’re as subtle as a peacock.”
With a wink, she continued. “We’re doing a bit of a scenic tour. Nothing too boring. I won’t inundate you with historical facts and figures. I’ll instead stick to the hot spots,” she explained, beeping and waving to almost every person we saw outside on the quick ride into town. “Unless you want the facts and historical mumbo jumbo, because I will totally deliver.”
I laughed. “Maybe another time. Let’s ease into the riveting fun facts of Hope Lake.”
Emma turned, wide-eyed. “Oh, hell, that’s a great idea!”
“What is?”
She looked at me as if to say Duh. “Fun Facts of Hope Lake! I can have little signs made up and put by different landmarks. The river, the lake, the brewing company—which we’re stopping by soon.”
My mouth fell open. “There’s a brewing company here?”
Emma furrowed her brows but kept her eyes on the road. “I should rethink the crash course in Hope Lake history. HLBC—I’m sure you can guess that it stands for Hope Lake Brewing Company—was started a couple of years ago, but in the past two years it’s really taken off. The owners, Drew and Luke Griffin, got some help from the Community Developmental Office—where I work—and opened this amazing place down by the lake. It’s right on the water, it’s got indoor and outdoor seating, firepits on the lake’s edge. Fun get-togethers every weekend, and theme nights starting in June. Lots of great, unique beer flavors, and it’s all made in-house. Brought in a bunch of jobs, too. It’s a big hit with the tourists.”
I continued to gape. “Wow, kudos to you and your department. So this is in the past couple of years? That’s awesome. By the way, you should totally be doing their advertising. I haven’t heard anyone talk about beer so swooningly in ages.”
“Swooningly?” Emma laughed, turning onto a road canopied by dense trees on either side. She slowed as we reached a bank of houses. It was a peaceful lane, with large front yards and literal white picket fences.
“Now, does any of this seem familiar?” she asked.
“It really doesn’t,” I admitted, trying to put myself in ten-year-old Charlotte’s shoes. “Maybe I blocked it all out for being traumatic. I mean, I didn’t talk to my mother for almost a month after we left.”
“Really? How did you manage that?” she asked, turning onto the next street and pulling over.
I picked at a fuzz on my shirt. “I’d leave her notes, and she’d either answer them on the paper or ignore me. Eventually she would just talk to me, and if I didn’t respond, I’d get punished. I learned pretty quickly that if I didn’t play along, I’d lose the small connection I still had with my dad and Gigi.”
“Charlotte, I’m so sorry.”
I shrugged. “It’s in the past. A lot of therapy got me to the point where I could talk about leaving, or my mother, and not totally break down.”
“Well, I certainly don’t want to bring up any old wounds, but if it’s any consolation, I’m glad you’re here now, and I know Gigi and your dad are, too.” Emma smiled. “That is what friends are for.”
“Speaking of friendships, I’m glad that we’ve got this do-over, too. I know I wasn’t exactly the best person at keeping in touch,” I admitted.
“Hey, Facebook is my method of communication, too, a lot of times. We’ve established that you’re busy, and Lord knows I am, too. Just seeing you pop up in a text box or with a notification every now and then is enough sometimes. But now that you’re here, we’re tossing the digital friendship aside for an old-fashioned one.”
“I could do with a little old-fashioned in my life. It’s been missing. Maybe this place will help me slow down a bit and realize what’s, I don’t know, important? Does that sound cliché?”
“Yes, but I don’t care. I like it, and we’re running with it! If we had two beers, we’d toast to clichés!”
“And we’d also get pulled over by Duncan. I’ve got a sinking feeling he’s waiting in the wings for me to step out of line.”
“You’re not wrong,” she said, laughing and pointing to the cruiser that was on the side of the road, shrouded in a grouping of trees.
We beeped as we drove past. Duncan gave a half-hearted wave.
Emma pointed toward a street with a DEAD END sign next to the street sign. “We’re getting into your old stomping grounds and—oh my God, I just sounded like my mother. When you see her, don’t tell her.”
I crossed my fingers over my heart. “Promise.”
Smiling, I focused on the impression that Emma’s mother left on me. Sophia Peroni was the kind of mom I always admired. Kind but firm. Endlessly loving but also took zero shit. If I ever decided to have kids, I wanted to be like her.
“How is she? Still as fabulous as ever?” I asked.
“You’re not wrong there. Don’t let her know I said that, either; she’ll be insufferable. It’s bad enough Cooper gets her riled up all the time.”
“Speaking of, where is he today while you’re playing hooky?”
“Cooper, Nick, and Henry have a standing man-date on the last day of every month. Weekday, weekend, doesn’t matter,” she explained, rolling her eyes when I gave her a smirk.
“So they’re all besties, and they do what? Go golfing, hit the movies, braid their hair, get their backs waxed?”
She turned, glaring. “That’s a very specific comment. Experience with the back waxing?”
I shuddered. “A guy I used to date would get his whole body waxed once a month.”
I laughed when she shuddered. “Enough about waxing and weirdos.”
“Agreed. I have a very uncomfortable visual of what Cooper would look like being totally waxed. We’ll be catching up with them soon, by the way.”
“Where are we going?” I asked as she readied to make a U-turn to head back onto the main road. “You said stomping grounds. I know the house my mom and I lived in is gone. Right? She said it burned down just after we left.”
Emma slid me a glance. “What?”
I looked at her expectantly.
“Seriously? Burned down?” she parroted.
I nodded. “Yeah, she told me a couple of months later that it was some sort of freak fire, that’s why we couldn’t— Oh my God, I am an idiot,” I groaned, slapping myself on the forehead.
She barked a laugh. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh,” she insisted. “You’re not an idiot, Charlotte. You were a kid whose mother lied to her to ensure her story remained what you believed. The house didn’t burn down. It’s not a house anymore, but it’s still standing.”
“I can’t believe that I believed her.” I held up my hand when she started to disagree. “Worse, I can’t believe she went as far as lying to me about it so I wouldn’t ask questions. Who does that?”
Your mother, that’s who.
Emma opened her mouth and closed it a few times, unsure of what to say.
“I know what you want to say, I was a kid, yes, but still. I’m an adult now, for pity’s sake, and I still thought it was true. I never even bothered to ask my dad about it.”
“You’ve got a look,” Emma interrupted my thoughts. “Is something ringing a bell here?”
“Sort of? But I mean, nothing is jumping out at me. Let’s follow your plan for now. I’m not sure if I’m ready to see the house anyway,” I admitted.
Once we turned off the main road, going toward the school complex, the memories started again. Bright yellow buses climbing the hill toward the school. Kids playing on the sidewalks and the concrete alongside the building. The front entrance to the property was flanked with large brick signs labeled HOPE LAKE EDUCATIONAL COMPLEX. We drove up a long, wide driveway that led to the three schools.
“Elementary school,” I said happily, pointing to the first building we drove past.
“Yes! And this is the middle school,” she explained, waving toward a similarly designed building just up from the first.
“And let me guess—Hope Lake High School is that big one on the hill?”
“Yep. Henry is an English teacher there. Not that his line of work was a surprise. He never went anywhere without a book in his hand growing up.”
“I meant to ask earlier, but you keep talking about this Henry as if I am supposed to know who he is.” I felt foolish asking, but it was driving me nuts why I couldn’t place the name. “Who exactly is Henry to me? I mean, I know I hit a Henry yesterday, but you talk like I should know him—”
Emma slammed on the brakes, jolting me forward sharply. Thank God we were on a closed drive and not the main road or we would have surely been rear-ended.
“Ems, what the fu—”
“Did you just ask who Henry is?”
6
“Yes?”
“Henry,” she repeated, looking exasperated. Her hands were gripping the steering wheel, but she was fidgeting.
“Yes, Henry. You make it sound like I’m purposely trying not to remember. It was a long time ago, and don’t forget, I didn’t exactly leave under the best circumstances. I probably blocked it out. That’s what one of the therapists I used to visit said.”
Emma gasped. “Wait, your dad and Gigi never mentioned Henry? Or any of us?”
I realized that this revelation was going to sting. “Well … I think they caught on pretty early that talking about Hope Lake was not great for me. So eventually it just never came up except for random town gossip.” I shrugged.
“Wow. I don’t know what to say.” Emma just stared at me, and we sat in silence for a bit until she said, “Rewind. You’re the one who hit Henry in the nuts?”
I rolled my eyes. “You’re like Gigi with the gossip. Good Lord. Keep in mind, I was exhausted and trying to get into the office when Birdy pulled up in the cruiser.
“It was a total accident,” I added quickly. “Honestly, I can’t believe you, the heartbeat of this town, didn’t hear about it.”
“Oh, I heard about it, but I didn’t know it was you. I was on a call, and people were asking Cooper if Henry was still able to father children.”
“Oh, come on! It was a tap. Nothing a little ice or whatever couldn’t fix,” I said, feeling ridiculous that this was still a topic of discussion.
I hadn’t actually considered that this town would operate exactly how my mother said it would if I came back. “It’s not even been two days and it’s like Page Six in here.”
“It’s not that bad.”
“Ugh, I should just shut the hell up already.”
Emma nodded. “I have an idea. Let’s go somewhere we can sit for a bit to calm down.”
After agreeing, I remained quiet, staring out the window as we drove up a long, twisty hill that opened up to a beautiful park.
The spot Emma chose overlooked the town below. I could almost see Hope Lake in its entirety.
“This is quite the view.”
Emma smiled smugly. “You keep doubting the power of Hope Lake. I can’t wait to prove you wrong.”
* * *
BY THE TIME Emma pulled back into Gigi’s driveway, I had learned three things: (1) It felt as though no time had passed since Emma and I saw each other at our college graduations, and (2) I was exhausted. Not just physically but mentally. Emma was a lot to take back then, and things hadn’t changed at all. When she was excited about something, she talked endlessly. I barely got any questions in. And (3) Dr. Max was definitely interested. He’d sent a text on our ride back asking if I was settled and might want to take the promised walk through town tonight.
“What are you going to say?” Emma asked, as we situated ourselves on Gigi’s front porch.
“I don’t know. I’m still thinking.”
We sat, listening to the crickets. Again, something as simple as an insect noise was giving me a sense of calm that I hadn’t experienced in a great while. I was beginning to appreciate being able to sit in silence with Emma. It was comforting.
“Listen,” I said finally, rocking back and forth, enjoying the creaks of the porch and the chair. “I might take Dr. Max up on his offer and I might not. I’m still trying to figure out if dating is something I want to do while I’m here.”
Emma grinned. “You do whoever is going to make you happy. Sorry, whatever.”
“My God, with you and Gigi, I’m sandwiched between two screwballs.”
Her phone buzzed, breaking the contemplative silence. She glanced at it, smiled, but left it unanswered.
It made me think about who was texting her. Cooper was the obvious answer, but she had so many people who loved her, it could have been anyone.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Always,” she answered immediately.
“Why’d you come back here once we graduated? I mean, you could have gone anywhere, done anything, been anyone, and yet …”
“I came back to the one place where everyone knew me?” She laughed. “I thought about leaving briefly when everything hit the fan with Cooper in college. Even when he was running for mayor, and things looked like it was all going to go s
outh, I considered it, but when I weighed all the pros and cons, I realized there wasn’t anywhere else I’d rather be than here. I love it. There are good, honest people who love Hope Lake as much as I do. I like being in that mix. Helping give back to a place that gave me so much. It was part of the reason I wanted to make sure Cooper won when he ran for mayor … even though we had our differences.”
I laughed. “Seems like you got over those differences.”
She smiled. “Oh, we did. A lot.” She stood and stretched her arms over her head. “This was a good day.”
“It was,” I agreed, stifling a yawn.
“I know we were supposed to have dinner, but I think you need to catch up on sleep first.”
I groaned. “I think I’ll spend tonight vegging out with Gigi and starting to formulate some kind of plan.”
“Do you really want to say no to Max’s offer on a stroll through town?”
My lips pursed as I thought about it. Spending time with an attractive guy certainly had its benefits. “I’m not saying no indefinitely,” I reasoned, as much for me as it was for Emma.
“Okay, I’m just saying—be open to the possibility. I have to run, but I’ll see you soon.” Emma bounced down the steps and got in her car.
“And don’t even think about leaving!” she shouted, tooting the horn before pulling away down the quiet street.
* * *
I TRIED TO relax, but I couldn’t. Emma had left a few hours before, and I’d been trying to do things to pass the time. Reading wasn’t keeping my interest, and neither was the thousand-piece puzzle of the Great Wall of China that Gigi had started on her dining room table.
Instead, I sat on the porch and pondered. Not about anything in particular, but just pondered. At least, until a very sleek car pulled into the driveway next door.
Max stepped out, wide smile and a bag around his arm. He was poised to climb the steps to Mrs. Mancini’s when he saw me sitting on the porch.
Long strides carried him across the yard, and I straightened. I wished I had my phone to sneak a peek at how I looked, but alas, it had been a long day, and I was sure it showed.
