The Smallest Crack

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The Smallest Crack Page 24

by Roberta Kagan


  “I understand your idealism. But you are putting yourself in terrible danger. You’re a German, pure German. If anyone is safe right now, you are.”

  “But what you are not understanding is that as long as there is evil in the world, no one is safe, Eli. No one at all.”

  “You’re a good person, Gretchen. If my father would have given you a chance, he would have really liked you.”

  “Yes, well, if the Nazis gave your people a chance they might like them too. But people hate easily and without reason. I am not that kind of person. You have taught me a lot about Jews, Eli. And I dare say I think I love you.”

  “Did I hear you say you love me?” He was stunned.

  “Yes, you did. I think perhaps I always have. But I didn’t know it. However, I respect that you are married. I would never put your marriage in jeopardy. But please, Eli, let me help you. This is not a matter of pride. It’s a matter of life and death. I want to help your wife too.

  “How?”

  “I want to hide you both.”

  “But what about my people? I am their rebbe. They need me to show them the way. They need me to lead them.”

  “You can’t lead them if you’re dead, can you?”

  He shook his head.

  “Well, then, come with me. You’ll be safe. At least I hope you will. And while you are in hiding maybe you can figure out a way to help the others,” she said, then she added, “As long as you are alive there is a flicker of hope for your people, but if you are dead, then who will they turn to?”

  “You’re right. I’ll come.”

  “And what’s your wife’s name?” Gretchen asked.

  Eli was stunned for a moment. He had forgotten about Rebecca, and now he had no idea how he was going to explain all this to her. How could he explain who Gretchen was, and why she was willing to help them? Although he didn’t want to hurt Rebecca by bringing Gretchen to the house, he knew that for Rebecca’s sake, she must accept Gretchen’s very kind and generous offer. Gretchen was putting her own life in danger to save him and Rebecca. As he looked into Gretchen’s eyes, which shone like tiny beacons of light even in the darkness, he realized he didn’t just care for Gretchen. He loved her too. He loved her fiercely. She was the reason he had never been able to fully love Rebecca the way a husband should for his wife. Still, he could not tell her. He must never let his feelings show. He owed it to his wife to be faithful even if his heart was aching for another.

  “Rebecca. My wife’s name is Rebecca.”

  “Hurry, time is passing. It’s long after curfew, and you must not be caught out on the street. Let’s get to your apartment. We must convince Rebecca to come with us. The two of you need to be safely hidden in the cellar before sunrise.”

  “She may refuse. She may not go with us,” Eli said.

  “But we must try,” Gretchen said. “We must try.”

  CHAPTER SIXTY-SEVEN

  Rebecca sat on the sofa in the living room trying to remain calm. The clock ticked quietly, but to her, it sounded like a bomb ticking. Every minute, it was getting later and later. Rebecca was not only worried about Eli, she desperately needed to talk to him. Something terrible had happened. She had gone to see her parents that afternoon, but they were not home. This was unusual, so she went to see her mother’s friend next door. She learned that several of the Jewish men in the neighborhood had been arrested on the night of the pogrom. Her mother and father had both gone out to try and help their friends, and they too had been arrested. Her sister had vanished. No one had seen her since.

  “Where did they take them?” Rebecca asked.

  “No one knows,” her mother’s friend said.

  “This is insane. My parents have never broken a single law. My father has always been very strict about following rules,” Rebecca said, her voice cracking.

  “I wish I had more to tell you. But this is all I know.”

  Rebecca walked home in shock. She could hardly catch her breath. On her way, she stopped at the homes of several of Eli’s congregants looking for him, but she was unable to find him. She wasn’t sure which of his bar mitzvah boys he’d gone to tutor that night, or she would have gone directly there to find him. Eli never told her their names. She only knew that he was privately teaching a few students, so all she could do was wait. And she had been waiting all day, feeling desperate and terrified. She needed to tell him what happened. The day had gone by slowly, but it was late, and he still hadn’t returned. So not only was she worried about her parents and sister, she was worried about Eli too. She dared not go out of the house and try to find him as it was too dangerous to be caught outside after curfew. She trembled in fear. Poor Eli! What if something terrible has happened? With the way things are going, anything could have happened to him. And what about me? Where will I go? What will I do? How will I ever find him or my family?

  The key turned in the door, and Rebecca felt a wave of relief wash over her. But confusion followed when she saw a pretty, young girl enter the apartment with her husband.

  “Eli, are you all right?” She looked from Eli to Gretchen, and she was completely puzzled.

  “Yes, I’m fine. This is Gretchen Schmidt. She is a good friend of mine. She is going to help us.”

  “Help us?” Rebecca said as she lifted one of her eyebrows. “How?”

  “As you know, things have gotten bad for Jews. Very bad, Rebecca. Gretchen has offered to hide us, so we will be safe. Jews are being arrested all over Berlin,” Eli said.

  “My parents have been arrested. I went to see them today, and the neighbor told me. My sister is gone. No one knows where she is.”

  “Yes, it’s happening to Jews all over Germany,” Gretchen said. “I want to help you both.”

  Eli and Gretchen glanced at each other. When they did, Rebecca caught the look of understanding and closeness that passed between them, and in that instant she realized she had been right all along. Eli had been seeing another woman. She had known it instinctively, and yet she had refused to believe it. She told herself Eli would never break one of the Ten Commandments. And yet he had. She was stunned. As shocking as it was, it was even more surprising to find out she was a shiksa.

  Rebecca thought Eli, being the son of a rebbe, would have had more respect for his wife than to bring his mistress home. A quick vision of Shmul passed through Rebecca’s mind. She had rejected Shmul because she believed that all the rules she grew up with were absolute. Because of her upbringing, she knew she must never be unfaithful. And yet, here Eli stood before her with another woman.

  Rebecca felt a million emotions stir within her. She was angry with Eli, but at the same time, she knew she wasn’t in love with him. Her heart wasn’t broken: only her pride was hurt. And strangely enough, there was something about this outspoken and spunky shiksa that she actually liked. How was that possible? How does a wife like her husband’s mistress? There was a genuineness about Gretchen that Rebecca could feel. Besides, she knew Gretchen was right. She and Eli were not safe in their home. It was only a matter of time before something happened. They had to get away to somewhere safe as quickly as possible.

  Rebecca longed to find her family, but she was certain that if she went to the police looking for them it would only result in her own arrest. Perhaps she might find a way to locate them once she and Eli were in hiding?

  “Please go now and get ready. Layer as many clothes as you can. Take whatever food or valuables you have, like your photos, but nothing too big. Now hurry, because we must leave as quickly as possible. I have to be sure that you are hidden before sunrise,” Gretchen instructed.

  “She is putting herself in danger by helping us,” Eli said. “We must not do anything to put her in further peril. Please, Rebecca. Hurry,” Eli said. He went into the bedroom and began to put on layers and layers of clothing.

  Rebecca layered her clothing and then filled her undergarments with the few pieces of jewelry she owned and a picture of her family at a Purim festival taken years before she
and Eli were married. Eli was rushing to get ready, so he didn’t see Rebecca stop and take a moment to watch him. It was as if she were seeing her husband for the first time. Now everything made sense. She knew why their marriage couldn’t work. And for some reason, she was no longer angry.

  I finally understand why I have never been able to make Eli happy. It wasn’t me. There was nothing wrong with me. It was just that he belonged to someone else. This relationship between Eli and Gretchen may have been going on even before I met him. Well, no matter. After this nightmare of Hitler and his Nazi Party is over, I will leave Eli, and I will find someone of my own. Someone who belongs to me, not because he is forced to by his parents or ancient, outdated laws, but because his heart tells him that I am his b'sheirt, his one and only love.

  From this moment on, I will never again follow rules blindly. I did that, and where did it lead? It led to a loveless, lonely marriage. The time has come for me to grow up and stop relying on Eli or my parents to make all my decisions. I am scared of the future, but I am excited too. Because this insight will be life altering for me. I have never had to stand on my own. However, I know that I am stronger than anyone ever realized. I am even stronger than I ever knew I was, and the time has come to prove it, not only to them but to me.

  “I’m ready,” Rebecca said. “There’s a challah in the pantry and some potatoes and carrots. There’s also a small bag of noodles. It’s a shame to waste the stew that’s on the stove, but there is no time for us to eat it, and it’s too hot to take. I’ll put what I can fit from the pantry into my handbag. Can you take the rest, Gretchen?”

  “I can,” Gretchen said as she and Rebecca filled their purses with whatever food they could find.

  “I’m ready to go now too,” Eli said as he walked toward the door. Neither he nor Rebecca carried a suitcase. They dared not bring anything that would draw attention in case they were seen.

  “All right, let’s get going. It’s well after curfew, and we must be very careful, or we’ll all be arrested,” Gretchen said, taking a deep breath.

  Eli took his tall, black hat off the coffee table and put it on his head.

  “Don’t wear that. If we get caught, I don’t want the police to know you are Hasidic. It’s bad enough that you have the yellow stars sewn into your clothes.”

  “After the attack, they passed a law that forced us to sew the yellow Star of David onto our clothes,” Rebecca said.

  “Yes, I know. I know about the attack. I know about everything. It doesn’t matter anyway, because if they did stop us, they would demand to see our papers. They would know you were Jewish anyway.”

  “The Nazis are ferociously hunting our people. It’s terrifying,” Eli said, shaking his head.

  “Yes, and that’s exactly why I am here. Now, we have been wasting too much time talking. There will be plenty of time for us to talk, but that time is not now. Everyone is ready? Let’s get going. Stay in the shadows, and be careful to stay out of the light,” Gretchen said firmly as she straightened her coat and took a deep breath. Then she led Eli and Rebecca out of the house.

  Eli hesitated before closing the door. He kissed his hand then reached up and touched the mezuzah that hung over the side of the front door. For a single moment, he bent his head and whispered a Hebrew prayer. Then with a sigh, he turned to the two women who mattered most in his life and said, “And may God be with us.”

  Coming Soon: The Darkest Canyon Book Two In This Series

  AUTHORS NOTE

  First and foremost, I want to thank you for reading my novel and for your continued interest in my work. From time to time, I receive emails from my readers that contest the accuracy of my events. When you pick up a novel, you are entering the author’s world where we sometimes take artistic license and ask you to suspend your disbelief. I always try to keep as true to history as possible; however, sometimes there are discrepancies within my novels. This happens sometimes to keep the drama of the story. Thank you for indulging me.

  I always enjoy hearing from my readers. Your feelings about my work are very important to me. If you enjoyed it, please consider telling your friends or posting a short review on Amazon. Word of mouth is an author’s best friend.

  If you enjoyed this book, please sign up for my mailing list, and you will receive Free short stories including an USA Today award-winning novella as my gift to you!!!!! To sign up, just go to...

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  Many blessings to you,

  Roberta

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  MORE BOOKS BY THE AUTHOR

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  Book One in the All My Love, Detrick Series

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  Detrick, a handsome seventeen-year-old Aryan boy is reluctant to join the Nazi party because of his friendship with Jacob, who is Jewish and has been like a father figure to him. However he learns that in order to protect the woman he loves, Jacob’s daughter, he must abandon all his principles and join the Nazis. He knows the only way to survive is to live a double life. Detrick is confronted with fear every day; if he is discovered, he and those he loves will come face to face with the ultimate cruelty of the Third Reich.

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  But when Helga has second thoughts, it’s already too late. The papers are signed, and her claim to her child has been revoked. Her daughter belongs to Hitler now. And when Hitler’s delusions of grandeur rapidly accelerate, Germany becomes involved in a two-front war against the heroic West and the fearless Russians.

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