As we started walking, we heard a car coming down the drive, leaving the house. As I saw the car approaching, my heart started beating faster and, as it came closer, I saw that it was David, in his twat mobile with the roof down. He did the most patronising slimy smile I’ve ever seen, glided out of the gates then roared his engine so hard to fly off up the road I jumped out my skin.
‘What. The. Fuck,’ was all I could muster to the fifteen-year-old girl walking beside me. She didn’t reply, didn’t look shocked, confused or worried, just bowed her head to the floor, almost looking ashamed. I asked her if she knew why David would be at her house, but she didn’t reply. I realised how inappropriate it was to ask so I immediately ‘remembered out loud’ that Lou had said Jaclyn and David sometimes work together, so that’s obviously why he was there (the reality, in my brain, was that that was absolute bullshit, but I was just hoping I had convinced an already damaged and confused teenage girl).
Jaclyn was stood at the door when we arrived, and it was clear she had been crying. I couldn’t make any sense of this situation and Molly was still silent – giving nothing away.
‘Molly!’ Jaclyn beamed, and looked genuinely happy. She walked quickly towards her and put her arms out to embrace her. It was the first time I had seen this side to her, and after what Jamie had said about how affectionate they were to each other after Saturday’s incident, I felt relieved, but Molly just looked down at the floor and didn’t show any affection back.
Jaclyn invited us in, and she seemed giddy, nervous. I asked her why David was at the house and she told me it was just business; that they attend many meetings and events together and he had visited her to ‘make peace’. What a cock. I wondered if he had threatened her, hence her tear-stained face. Maybe she was just frightened of him; I know I am after seeing what he’s capable of. As Molly took her bags straight past the huge vase of flowers and up the sweeping staircase, I whispered to Jaclyn, asking her why he was really there. She stuck to her story, saying how she despised him, but it was easier with ‘men like that’ to be pleasant than fall out with them, as he has a lot of clout in town because of who he is. David Metcalfe, she told me, is not a man you want to get on the wrong side of. I thought of Lou in her hospital bed post-op and knew Jaclyn was right.
I suppose, being Jaclyn in a small town like ours when there are very few solicitors, it would be pointless going to war with one another when you have to work either alongside or against one another, as I imagined they sometimes do.
‘I hate him,’ Molly said out loud, walking back down the stairs without her bags.
Before I could stop myself, I hmphed and said, ‘I think we’re all with you there, Mol,’ before biting my tongue.
She surprised me then and said, ‘No I really hate him.’ Jaclyn gave her a look, as if to tell her to stop being rude, and said, ‘That’s enough, Molly.’
I asked Molly if I could speak to her mum for a little while alone and she agreed, smiling, as if this was something she was happy about – and she went back off upstairs.
Jaclyn offered me a cup of tea and we sat on the patio, in the same spot I had sat with her daughter just weeks before. She told me how the pool is only used by Molly, reluctantly, in summer. It was the first time I actually felt sorry for her. I tested the water of our new understanding and delicately said, ‘Well, I know you work incredibly hard. It mustn’t be very easy to be home with Molly as much as you’d like …?’
I’d pitched this right and she started to open up, telling me that it was just the way it had always been since Molly was a baby and it was now normal for them. She said that her long hours and long absences from home had only become a problem in the last two years, due to Molly rebelling and ‘playing up’.
I tried to explain, again delicately as I didn’t want her to feel like I was attacking her parenting, that she wasn’t doing those things; she was just being a normal teenage girl and maybe if she trusted her more then perhaps Molly wouldn’t feel the need to lie to her mum. Jaclyn kept going on about there being ‘bad people’ in the world and that she felt safer when Molly was at home where no harm would come to her.
It was sad really, because, despite my first impressions of their dynamic – a rashly drawn conclusion that taught me an important lesson in kindness and understanding – it was clear to me that Jaclyn really loved Molly and wanted to protect her, but she wasn’t letting her live and I still couldn’t work out why. We spoke for a long time. She cried and I felt desperately sad for her and the life she had created for her and her daughter. Crying, I could tell, is something she doesn’t often do in front of people and she tried so hard to hold it together, then when she couldn’t, she was so uncomfortable getting upset in front of me. It was clear that she was as unhappy as Molly and they were both here in this huge beautiful home, yet it felt like a prison to both of them.
She asked me about my background and I told her about the kids, Mark and Jamie. She seemed genuinely interested and told me that she hadn’t met anyone since Molly’s dad, who had broken her heart. She’d found out he had been engaged to another woman when she was pregnant with Molly and he had left her on her own to raise the baby. Jaclyn told me that she didn’t ever want to risk being hurt like that again, hence why she threw herself into her career so she could always look after Molly financially.
‘I have regrets now; of course I do,’ she told me. ‘As time has gone on and Molly has grown up, I’ve come to see that, actually, it isn’t about the money I earn – Molly doesn’t need a swimming pool in her garden, for crying out loud – it’s about time spent together, the love we have and the life lessons we take the time to teach them. If I’m honest, I’ve probably spent fifteen years in denial, convincing myself that what I was doing was right while knowing deep down that it was wrong.’
I suggested that we do something together, us two and Belle and Molly – the four of us. Her face lit up and I could tell she liked the idea. I wondered if it was because she felt some relief that she didn’t have to do it alone, that I would be there to take the pressure off her, or maybe she actually was excited to have someone to do something with that didn’t involve her career.
Before I left, I said goodbye to Molly and told her to have a chat with her mum about what they wanted to do. I could tell she was really chuffed and she gave her mum a hug. We had a plan, so it was progress. More progress.
Jaclyn agreed that Molly could come over to ours for the day tomorrow to see Belle while she was working. I gave them both a hug, and said my goodbyes. It felt good.
When I got home, Pat was there, and I was so glad to have her with me. Her presence alone just made everything a bit calmer and easier to cope with. Jamie must have inherited it from her.
Tuesday
Lou is moving into the empty flat above the café and I think it will be the perfect safe haven for her and the boys. Although her parents have the space she said she wants to be on her own with the boys, she can’t live with her parents and she doesn’t feel it’s fair to them, they had already flown back from Spain to take care of them. The flat is beautiful from what I’ve been told. Light and airy and the views are magnificent – across the entire beach. There are huge sash windows and it’s all been maintained to a high standard. I’d planned to pop by today to double-check she has everything she needs for when she leaves hospital.
We’ve had all the locks changed on the café and extra security bolts fitted. The police have fitted alarms and given Lou a personal one to keep with her at all times. It seems pretty drastic but as I’ve read that the most dangerous time for a victim of domestic abuse is when they’re planning to leave or when they’ve just left – that’s when the perpetrator is at his worst, when he comes to the realisation he’s losing control.
When I got to the café, I wandered straight up the stairs to the flat and I was absolutely blown away. Jane, Lou’s mother, had gone to the flat after she left the hospital and, with the help of Pat, had made it look so beautiful, with fresh
bunches of peonies and roses in huge stunning vases. There were loads of little touches too that just made it look like home for when Lou walked in. When I arrived, Jane and Pat were sat at either ends of the carpet in the lounge, leaning against the walls with the coastal wind blowing in through the huge windows, both looking exhausted, but jabbering away with a pot of tea from downstairs like they had been friends for years.
Jane told me that even though Lou is in a terrible state, she believes that she’s happier now, lying in a hospital bed, black and blue with no idea of her future than she was trapped with David. Her life is hers now and she and the boys are safe at last, and that made me feel better, much better. Looking around this space, with its blank walls crying out to be filled with their photographs and the boys’ drawings, I couldn’t help but feel full of hope for Lou and the bright new future that she and the boys would have here.
CHAPTER THIRTY
Our Girl is Back
Friday
It was a beautiful sunny day today, perfect for a girls’ day out, so I took Molly and Belle into town and over lunch, complete with enormous ice-cream milkshakes, the girls asked all about Lou.
Molly was really concerned over her injuries and why David had done such an awful thing to someone he’s supposed to love. As much as it was difficult to see her confused and sad, I was relieved she was opening up and talking about stuff. I explained that in life, sometimes, terrible things happen that make us question the world and the people in it, but that we should use those experiences as a good thing to make us be better people – be grateful that we don’t understand it, and be kinder and more supportive to others.
Belle asked why none of Lou’s family had seen what was going on and stepped in to help. I explained that she only had her parents and they lived abroad. It led on to us discussing family and support networks and I asked Molly what family she had. I knew her dad had never been on the scene, and I asked if she had any aunts, uncles, grandparents, but Molly told me there was no one. Her mum led a life with just Molly, she had worked so hard to become a partner of her firm, hence why she needed staff to help with childcare and the house, they lived away from anyone else.
It was so sad. I imagined her being the age Ruby is now, a little girl, stuck in a house, day and night, with an absent mother and her only company a supply of house staff. I then felt awfully sad for Jaclyn as she had done all of this mother stuff alone from the start, with no dad on the scene or any support from anyone to show her how lovely it could have been if she had done it differently – how hard must that have been for her?
Jamie got back that night with a chippy dinner and Lou’s parents came over with the boys for a G&T. They walked down the beach with Jacob, Molly, Belle and Art to get an ice cream and have a paddle in the sea. I put Ruby and Rex to bed as they were shattered from the heat and we all sat in the garden. It was a warm night and the sky was a burnt-orange colour. As much as I was learning to love our unique brand of chaos, this moment of peace, without a child or a dog leaping over me, was just what I needed.
Tony had been a builder before he retired, he owned a huge firm where he employed all tradesmen. He sold it before he retired. He discussed with Jamie what we could change if we did buy the house. It made me feel warm and happy inside as buying this house was clearly something Jamie was thinking about. I really did love it. It was perfect for us as it was and it already felt like our home even though we hadn’t done much to make it ours. The walls were still the same plain colours they were when we had moved in and we hadn’t hung pictures or changed anything as we knew we wouldn’t be here longer than six months. A year, tops.
The thought of buying this home and adding our touches to it makes me happy – happier than the thought of us looking at more properties and moving us all again, and I’m determined to get Jamie to speak to the landlord.
Jane and Pat sat on the swinging chair next to the BBQ, sipping on gin filled with berries and elderflower tonic, and snacking on a platter of peanuts and crisps that Pat’s prepared. I liked seeing Pat chat away with someone her own age, but I know she can hold a decent conversation with anyone about anything, and I love that about her. Jane and her got on well and I felt they could share stories about their lives and experiences into the night.
The kids got back from the beach full of life, clutching their sand-covered shoes. Molly and Harry were in a world of their own in the conservatory, chatting away and giggling together watching things on his iPad, and it was so heart-warming to see.
We’ve had a lovely evening and when everyone had left or gone to bed, Jamie and I sat on the sofa with the fan blasting out cool air at both of us. The windows were wide open, and I could hear the crickets in the bushes outside. We shared half a bottle of red and I felt genuinely grateful for what we have. Despite some days feeling like this life we’ve made is a total shitstorm, it’s a shitstorm I’m glad we’re part of, because even though life is far from perfect, I am happier than I’ve ever been.
The children have a life filled with their friends and they have fun together. They live on the beach and have a beautiful home and they are loved, secure and stable, and that’s all we can ask for from life. We can only do our best. When I looked round our living room tonight and caught sight of what we have created, I felt pretty proud, and happy, so happy.
Saturday
Pat and I collected Lou from the hospital this morning while Jamie stayed at home with the kids.
It was another boiling hot day and I woke up for the first time in ages without the knot of worry in my tummy; instead I had a good feeling about the day ahead. When you feel sad and you wake to grey skies and rain, you feel sadder, but when you feel sad and the sun is shining there’s something that lifts your mood, even if it’s just slightly … well, it always has for me anyway.
We drove Lou to the flat and Pat had filled the fridge with lots of things for her and the boys. She had made one of her famous lasagnes and a tin of brownies. Her parents were bringing the boys over later so that Lou didn’t feel too overwhelmed at seeing her new home, and realising how different things were now going to be compared to what she had been used to. She also didn’t want her getting upset in front of the boys when we’re all selling this to them as nothing but a happy occasion. She told me to text and keep her informed of how Lou was, and they would bring the boys across when the time was right.
Lou seemed happy during the drive, but when we got to the flat and walked in, she sobbed, really sobbed. I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach and I didn’t know how to stop that feeling of panic. Before I could reassure her that this was all temporary and she was going to be OK, that we could find them a bigger forever home once things had settled, she grabbed hold of me and hugged me so tight. Tighter than any of Jamie’s or Pat’s hugs had ever been and as she continued to sob, she just kept repeating the words ‘Thank you’.
She was happy. She was genuinely happy that she was not returning to a mansion with tennis courts and a heated pool. She was happy that she would now be living in a flat, above a café, where her boys would have to share a room. I wondered what she felt to be so grateful to me. Freedom? Relief? Maybe both, but the main factor was that her tears were nothing to do with sadness. She was now free from David’s abuse and control and undoubtedly relieved that she didn’t have to return to ‘his’ house. This was hers. Hers and the boys, and there was no trace of him here. He had finally lost his power over them.
I text Jane, ‘Come whenever. She is so happy’, and the thumbs-up emoji. Twenty minutes later I heard her boys come charging up the stairs and, just like their mum, they were so grateful and happy and excited. Harry gave his mum the biggest hug in the world and they just held each other and cried. I looked at Jane and she held her hand to her mouth and began to cry too. Tony wrapped her into his arms and said, ‘She’s OK, it’s OK, we’ve got our girl back.’
I tried my hardest not to get emotional, but watching them all get to this from what I had first witnessed wa
s something I didn’t think I would ever see, and it was amazing.
They’d done it. The three of them.
They’d escaped and they were free.
My family and I spent the evening after today playing Junior Monopoly. I wanted us to all do something together. After what had just happened and realising that we actually should celebrate being a family more, I thought a family board game would be fun.
How wrong I was.
It was hell. Belle cheated repeatedly and sent the boys over the edge. Ruby was bored within minutes so I was playing with two counters and getting totally confused and Jamie was half cut on red wine so had no idea how to add up or subtract and therefore made the shittest banker in history.
Next time we’ll stick to Twister or Connect 4.
CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
Wtf?!
Tuesday
I should have known better than to think all of our drama was over for the summer …
Pat and I dropped the kids to summer camp this morning and nipped out to do a food shop. When we got back, we had a cuppa and unloaded the shopping and I could hear a phone repeatedly vibrating but I had no idea where it was. I started looking under piles of paperwork and magazines, but couldn’t find the thing anywhere. Pat could hear it too and when it happened again, she said she thought it was coming from the kitchen bin and, sure enough, when we opened it, there was Molly’s iPhone buzzing away.
I laughed that she hadn’t noticed it was missing – usually it was attached to her hand permanently – but as Pat handed it to me across the table it buzzed again and a message came up.
‘I mean it you little spoilt bitch’
I looked down and on the home screen I saw more abusive messages. My instinct took over and I started scrolling. There were over thirty messages of abuse from an unsaved mobile phone number. I couldn’t read the full message or get into the phone as it had a password on it but even from reading the beginnings of these messages it was clear these weren’t OK. They started off asking Molly to call the person sending them, then telling her to call her mum, which seemed odd. The person sending the messages then got angrier and angrier that they were being ignored and the abuse towards Molly worsened.
A Different Kind of Happy Page 22
