"Now, when you say it like that, I almost believe that you believe it, but I know there'll need to be a lot more reminders."
Keila dropped her chin to her chest again. She knew that Jack was right. Even though she was more confident in it when she said it out loud, those doubts stayed right beneath the surface. It was one thing for folks to speculate, but there were two very important people in her life who she was hiding from, in shame. It was a shame she knew she didn't need to feel and was completely wasted, but it didn't make it go away in the quiet of the night or the solitary moments during her day. She tried really hard not to lie to Jack, but the reality was that she wasn't ready to blow all of their lives to smithereens on the off chance that her mother and grams wouldn't lose their shit if they ever found out the truth.
Jack placed his hand on her chin and lifted it more gently than Keila felt she deserved, but that was Jack; he constantly gave her more than she could repay or that she thought she deserved. He placed a kiss, too chaste for her liking, on her lips and then on her forehead before standing them both up.
"Who's the most important girl to me?"
"After today?"
"Kid?" The warning was back.
"Me. I am. Thank you, Jack."
"Anytime, Kid, now can we go and find out all about our friends' fabulous honeymoon?"
"Yes. I have a feeling the group version is going to scar me way less than any version Brianna will tell me when we're alone."
Pulling herself from the door, Keila dropped her keys in the bowl by her front door and went to change her clothes. All things being equal and traffic sucking, like it usually was, Jack would be in from Dulles at about seven. That was just enough time for a shower, some reading, and then veggie prep. Keila was ready to get lost listening to the symphony of the kitchen. Getting taken away by the clatter of dishes, the sizzle of sauces, meats, and veggies and even the flow of water over filthy dishes had become calming since Jack taught her the joy of cooking.
She made two promises to herself as she stepped into the steaming shower. One, she would not break her hollandaise tonight, and two, she would tell Jack about the incident in the elevator. She didn't want anything ruining their weekend.
Two
Jack
Jack sat in traffic thinking about how different coming home from business trips was, now that Keila was in his life full time, not just as an extension to his relationship with Brianna and Michael. He had no regrets about their arrangement, well, except the big one, but he daily reminded his little brain living south of his belt that the big brain living in the head on his shoulders was the one in charge.
Taking sex off the table made everything easier to negotiate in the beginning, but he was afraid that perhaps he'd waited a little too long to propose a new set of terms to their deal. They'd already incorporated different things along the journey, but this next step felt permanent in a way that he was ready for, but didn't feel right pushing her toward yet. This was also why he stopped home to shower and change before going to her place. He had to give the little brain some measure of relief before seeing her, or he was liable to come in his pants like a tenth grader at the board doing a math problem. Everything about Keila made him want to pull her into his arms and eventually into his bed. Yeah, it was this train of thought that always got him in trouble.
Keila and her scent of orange blossom and musk that lingered on his clothes after she'd snuggled up close on nights they watched movies together on her couch. Or, the coconut scent of the leave in conditioner she used. The cute but far too tiny cut-off denim shorts, she swore she only wore in the house, that always had her delectable butt cheeks peeking out. Not keeping her in his arms continuously was a testament to his maturity and strength of character. He had it bad, according to Michael, and his continued commitment to celibacy was just crazy. But, Jack didn't want Keila for a moment. He wanted Keila for always, and he wouldn't put forever at risk for in the moment satisfaction.
When he pulled into their underground parking, Jack was comforted seeing her car three spots over. He climbed out of the car and moved to spot 1203, giving the car a once over. It was a habit. No new dings meant that she hopefully had avoided some of her less than stellar driving behaviors. Hitting the curb when she parallel parked was a recurring offense. Getting her a new car was the second thing he wanted to do for Keila, after securing the apartment. She had flat out refused his offer, though. She couldn't be persuaded or threatened or bribed. In the end, her reasoning made enough sense that he begrudgingly agreed to the compromise of having her beat up old Mustang overhauled everywhere but the outside. Honestly, the newer car would've been cheaper.
Keila had been adamant with him, though, that she wasn't willing to tell the truth or come up with a plausible story about a new car or how she somehow managed to afford it. The apartment was already a slippery slope. Until she turned twenty-one, there would be very little getting around her mother and grams, especially since Jack had such strong feelings about circumventing the truth. Not seeing any new battle scars, he made his way to the bank of elevators that would take him to the lobby. Anyone could get to the lobby from the parking structure, but you had to engage a key fob to make the remaining elevators from the lobby go up to the various residential floors. It was a security measure Michael had loved when he'd first moved Keila and Bri into the building and Jack was equally happy with it.
When he pulled out his mail, he noticed a few bills that were specifically for Keila. It had taken all manner of arm twisting and threats that led to their first renegotiation of the arrangement to get Keila to say what she really needed and now and again, eventually, what she wanted. Jack was never ostentatious about his wealth, but with Keila, it was like he had to constantly remind her that he literally had cash to burn. The girl wasn't terribly extravagant and wasn't even close to being frivolous, but she looked like she wanted to swallow her own tongue before she came right out and asked for anything monetary. So, Jack had given her a credit card with her own name on it. This way, she was free to use it without having to ask him for cash for every little thing. Plus, it made practical sense because he was still out of town frequently enough and she had also started taking small trips for her internship.
The first time he had come into town early and surprised her, he was the one who got the surprise. The plan was to have a night in, making homemade pizza, and if she didn't have to study or do any work, maybe snuggle up for a movie. Jack had been looking forward to it from the second he realized the meeting would end early. The merger had finally gone through, and he was at the tail end of training the workers from both companies on the new joint operation. He ran through, dropping off his bags and grabbing a quick shower, before going across the hall to his Kid. When he walked through the door, things did not seem as they should.
Jack had been shocked to find Keila sitting in the middle of the floor eating thirty cents a cup ramen and everything else off except her iPhone, which she was obviously using to listen to music. She'd practically jumped out of her skin when she noticed him standing in front of the coffee table.
"Jack!" He wasn't sure, but her exclamation was not pure enthusiasm. Yanking the earbuds out, she dropped her phone on the sofa and came around to give him a hug.
"Happy to see me, Kid?"
Hugging her to his body, Jack couldn't say to the ounce, but he was suspicious that she'd dropped weight in the last month. Something was definitely going on.
"Lazy night?"
He noticed the way Keila tried to track everywhere his eyes were going. Was this so she could better answer his questions? She liked to point out to him that he always had questions. There wasn't anything that he simply let go unaddressed.
"Not really, no. I'm catching up on some work for my final project, and I brought some work home from my internship to go over. There's a meeting on Wednesday, and Dale and Paula have let me sit in more, so I like to be prepared. If I read up on the companies ahead of time, I can try to come up with n
ew angles. You never know when the 'coach' is gonna put you in, right?"
Her laughter was laced with nerves and not a bit of merriment.
"Interesting. You don't even like studying at the library alone. You say too much quiet puts you to sleep."
"It seriously does."
"So, why are you sitting here hunched over the coffee table listening to your music in virtual darkness? What happened to, 'Jack, I can concentrate with the television on. I swear it's like white noise to me. I focus better with it on.' Or, was that an exaggeration?"
"Change is good. I want to hear all about your trip. Let's go to your place, or we could go and get dim sum."
Jack circled her and picked up the television remote. The minute her head dropped, he knew something was afoot. She didn't say a word, though. Obviously, playing this scene out was her plan. Clicking the power button, he was glad that the screen came to life. Unfortunately, all it was playing was snow and static. His brows shot up into his hairline questioning her.
"Keila, what's going on? You getting the all static all the time network and just had an insatiable need for grocery store ramen?"
A game of keep away. This wasn't the way he envisioned things going. Yet, as soon as she lunged in for the remote, Jack found himself tossing his arm up out of reach. It was an unfair match, though, considering he didn't even have to raise it too high.
"What? What do you want me to say?"
She was raising her voice in anger to him. What apartment had he walked into? Whatever was going on, Jack felt pretty positive that it was not his fault in the least.
"I want you to calm down and tell me, for what I'm certain is my fifth time asking, what's going on."
"I blew through my allowance, Jack. It was stupid and my own fault and I'm sorry, okay. I mean, it's not like I didn't know you were going to be gone for a month. I know how to budget. I ended up having food delivered a few more times than I planned on, and then I lost my earbuds and had to replace them. And, since the car isn't a death trap on wheels anymore, I guess I gave out a few more rides than usual, which meant spending more on gas. I also can't seem to not burn food when you aren't in the kitchen next to me, so this recipe I was working on, I managed to destroy like three times, but you know me, why stop at three? I kept replacing the damn ingredients and remaking it. I got the pink envelope for the cable bill, but I thought I could sweet talk them into more time. I bet I could have if it had been a dude on the other end. No, I get lucky and get the one woman in the company who thinks shutting off my cable and being given a talking to about responsibility was the better way to go. Of course, there's nothing left but stale noodles. Oh, and mustard and ketchup packets. They put so many in when you order to go, don't you think?"
Cutting off the television, Jack just kept staring at Keila. She finally broke the intense contest after a solid forty-five seconds of uncomfortable glances from beneath her lashes. She conveyed her question with a another sly look.
"Did you seriously want an answer to that? I was waiting for you to run out of steam. Is this what Brianna meant when she called your nervous chatter word vomit?"
"Traitor. When did she say that? I don't word vomit. I can't help myself sometimes. Stop looking at me like that. This is why it happens, you know. I have to fill the void. Not a black hole kind, but the silent kind. I should probably stop talking."
"Oh, no, don't stop on my account. We have an entire thirty days to discuss. At this rate, you'll get through more than half without me saying another word. Or, you can come here and sit with me, take a breath, and explain why you didn't call me the minute you realized your funds were low."
She had taken a few steps in his direction until he got to the last part. She absolutely didn't want to discuss the whys of her not calling him immediately. It was sort of going over old ground, and Jack wasn't a fan of repeating himself on things he didn't believe needed repeating.
"Keila, that wasn't really a suggestion. Over here, now, please."
"Jack."
"Kid."
"I already know how this is going to go. I'm not going to give you an answer you find good enough, and you're going to be annoyed with me. Don't look at me like that. The last time I said you were mad, you took offense and said it made you sound like a rabid animal. Plus, I don't really like your method of quick resolution. There's something to be said for long drawn out lectures. I'm up to hearing one tonight, promise. You'll have my undivided attention."
"I'm confident I'm going to get, and hold, your attention my way, too."
He held out his hand to her and was relieved when he didn't feel nerves flowing from her in the way of a jittery hand or sweaty palm. Jack was less certain about this whole spanking thing than Michael was with Brianna. Not because he didn't believe it could break an issue down and get it resolved really nicely, but he and Keila didn't have the luxury of a passionate reconnection. More regrets of taking sex off the table rattled his brain.
Michael had been right about one thing, though. This experience was changing him in ways he couldn't have imagined. After his wife, it had been impossible to conceive of the notion of caring for someone in the way he'd cared for Julia. Of course, that also meant a frustration like no other with their particular brand of stubborn. He'd suspected it would be an uphill battle, though, and this time, he was more prepared. There was something to be said for an additional twenty years of life experience.
"Kid, we talked about this very thing, and explicitly, before I left, and what were you supposed to do? What did you promise me you would do?"
Jack took her chin in his hand and brought her head up so that they were back to making that intense level of eye contact. She gave a test wiggle and twist, but he wasn't letting up at all. It took longer than he would have liked, but she finally answered him.
"I was supposed to call you if anything came up. But, Jack—"
"No. The minute you say 'but,' you negate everything else. You were supposed to call me, period. So, when we talked, and you were saying that everything was fine, that was a—"
"No, no. If I answer that, it's, it's entrapment! I'm pleading the fifth. I refuse to incriminate myself."
It was really hard keeping it together. Jack wanted to laugh at her Law & Order level of legal knowledge being used to persuade him into saying what she wanted.
"Nice try, Kid. When I ask if things are good, I have to be able to trust that you're telling me the truth. I'm on the road too much for us not to have impeccable trust between us, on the big and small things. And, for the record, this is on the big side of things."
"Come on, Jack. No one ever died from not having cable or eating some stale noodles. Besides, with the amount of sodium in these things, the texture of the noodles is the last thing you notice. If you wanna treat me to something, how about a spa day? I could sit in the sauna and sweat out all the salt."
Jack was done with silent refocusing techniques. He wanted their evening back on track and this manner of nonsense settled. In a move that silenced her jibber-jabber quicker than anything else, Jack had picked up his little chatterbox by the waist and placed her over his lap. As soon as she made a move to wiggle off, his hand came down on those exposed little cheeks at full force.
"Now, are we having the rest of our talk this way, or do you want to try it sitting again?"
Her tension was showing in the rigidity of her spine and legs, and Jack knew she would be as stubborn as she could at this point, even though she also knew it wouldn't get her anywhere. He left his hand cupping her still warm and, no doubt, tender lower cheek.
"Are you really trying to wait me out?"
When he didn't get a response, Jack scooted back further on couch and pulled her in closer to his body; all the while, his hand stayed right in place.
"You should probably breathe. Holding your breath to keep from crying isn't going to help, either."
"I'm not crying."
"Oh, then maybe holding your breath is keeping you from running off at the
mouth more. That must be it, since my little old love tap isn't anything to cry over. Do you need another, or have I made my point?"
"Up, please." Her voice came out raw and scratchy, like she hadn't been speaking for longer than a few minutes.
"Explain."
"I did. You didn't like it."
"Don't you be coy with me. That's going to get you face down again."
"I blew it. It should have been more than enough, and it got away from me. I didn't want to call and tell you how reckless I had been. Do you realize I've survived on way less? I was obviously out of control."
Jack couldn't help the smirk that crept to the surface. Somehow, his Kid was still missing the point. He didn't care how much money she'd gone through, which, in reality, was only enough because she'd refused more. The issue, that he'd have to explain again, was that she didn't come to him when things had gone differently than she expected. He couldn't be her cushion if he didn't know she was falling.
"Keila, my beautiful Kid, I don't care how much money you went through. Nothing I give you will even put a dent in my bottom line, but not asking for what you need is going to seriously impact yours. When I tell you to take something, it is no longer negotiable. Moving forward, I'm putting all of the household bills on autopay. It doesn't matter how much it is, it'll be covered. Secondly, you are getting a credit card attached to my account as well as the allowance in your own account. Do not even think about arguing with me about it. Non-negotiable."
Her argument and sass was sitting on the surface. Jack could see it. Watching her fight to hold her tongue was almost entertaining. This was their last stand on this particular subject, though, and he was giving her an out to think otherwise.
"Well?"
"I can speak now?"
Jack cut her a look that said knocking off the flip lip would be a good idea.
The Girl in Apartment 1203 Page 2
