For your team, build a culture that is responsive. Deliver on promises and make it easy for people to work with you and your team. If you make a mistake, apologize, learn from it, and move forward.
How to Work with an Empty Promiser
When someone promises to do something, it’s great to recap deliverables and due dates at the end of a meeting. When you work with someone who forgets what he promised to do, it’s perfectly acceptable to follow up and ask him for what it is that he promised. If someone reminds you, don’t be angry, and get the job done.
Small Mistake
Number 14
The Wimpy or Tough
Handshaker
The Wimpy Handshaker is so afraid of hurting another person, or so unsure of the correct manner or timing of a handshake, that she ends up delivering a limp, ineffective handshake.
The Tough Handshaker wants to be sure to deliver such a firm handshake that the handshake leaves the other party grimacing in pain and wishing the other person would lighten up.
The Big Consequence
In business, the primary contact that you have with another person comes through the handshake. The person who extends their hand first in a conversation demonstrates confidence, and they put the other person at ease.
When you offer a wimpy handshake, people perceive that you are weak and lack confidence.
When you offer a tough handshake, people perceive you as arrogant, overconfident, or cocky.
The Solutions
How to Avoid Being a Wimpy/Tough Handshaker
Work on your handshake. Learn to shake hands correctly and adjust your handshake style to the situation at hand. Be prepared to shake hands with everyone you meet and to do so with confidence. Don’t over- or underdo the shake. Be brief, firm, and solid in your handshake. Always make eye contact, smile, and introduce yourself. You will be amazed at the results!
How to Manage a Wimpy/Tough Hand-shaker
Work on handshakes with her and give her the tools to succeed. She will thank you and represent you and your company well. Teach her how to control her grip with her fingertips and not to be afraid of a firm shake.
How to Work with a Wimpy/Tough Hand-shaker
Don’t let her see your reaction! This is the most important part of the handshake. Even if you sense that a person is under- or overdoing her handshake, continue with your shake and move on to the business at hand.
Don’t make assumptions about the person’s character or style based on their handshake. Judge her for her intellect, personality, and inherent value.
Always strive to put another person at ease, even when she doesn’t shake hands correctly. Go with the flow!
Small Mistake
Number 15
The eRanter
The eRanter likes to use email, texting, or social media to share his anger and frustrations. The eRanter loves to write in all caps to show that he is yelling. He is generally passive- aggressive and often will rant about people to others instead of speaking directly to the person in question.
The Big Consequence
There are two big consequences.
Once anything leaves your computer or phone, you lose control over what happens to it. It can be forwarded, printed, or posted on the Internet, reflecting poorly on you, your style, and your company.
People don’t appreciate being assaulted via email or text. There is no tone associated with eCommunication, so your tone and purpose are left to the interpretation of the reader. This can lead to misinterpretation and misunderstandings.
The Solutions
How to Avoid Being an eRanter
Have courage and communicate. If you have an issue with someone, speak to him face-to-face. Be open and honest. Listen to what he has to say. When you nip an issue in the bud, it is often easily resolved. Letting things simmer and using email and texts for arguments, discipline, or telling someone what you “really think of them” rarely succeeds. It ruins relationships.
You should never post or send anything that you don’t want forwarded, printed, or seen in the public forum or in a court of law. Once you send it, you’ve lost control, so make sure that everything you send represents you well.
How to Manage an eRanter
Speak to him in person, directly and right away. Be clear on appropriate format, style, and wording. Do not allow it to continue. There is risk to relationships internally and externally. One poor email can create a lot of problems.
How to Work with an eRanter
If someone is sending you ranting emails or texts, first, resist the urge to respond in kind—be careful not to turn into an eRanter in responding to one!
Second, request a meeting or phone conversation. Though it is hard at first, dealing with issues directly and face-to-face always works out better in the long run.
Because an eRanter may also be passive-aggressive in his style, he may not agree to meet with you. If that’s the case, move on and ask him to call or meet with you in the future if he has an issue. Let him know that you are always open to discussion of any issues, but not via email or text.
Small Mistake
Number 16
The Name Dropper
The Name Dropper wants everyone to know who she knows. She is always using the names of famous people to justify her position in society, yet she often does not have a true connection with the people to whom she refers.
The Name Dropper often carries an air of superiority or arrogance associated with her real or professed connection to famous or well-known people.
The Big Consequence
Unfortunately, the Name Dropper is often perceived as a bragger or arrogant. When it becomes clear that her association with the people she pretends to know does not pan out, her credibility is tarnished.
This impacts the perception of the Name Dropper’s integrity, and name dropping also takes away from the credibility of the individual themselves. Why deal with this person, if you can deal with the source directly?
The Solutions
How to Avoid Being a Name Dropper
Be yourself. Define yourself for who you are and what you believe. Using the reputation of others to substantiate who you are and what you believe doesn’t establish a reputation for you. And often, name dropping is misunderstood to be showing off, bragging, or talking down to those with whom you interact. These are characteristics that do not lend themselves to building strong, solid, and long-lasting relationships.
How to Manage a Name Dropper
Asking the Name Dropper what she personally believes will, over time, help her see her individual value. If she reports to you, explain to her the consequences of name dropping and help her to see when the behavior is demonstrated. Build her confidence and help her see the value she brings to the organization.
How to Work with a Name Dropper
When working with Name Droppers, move the conversation to the business at hand and don’t be distracted by the references. Show them their value as team members and help them to see their own worth.
To help yourself, you must be yourself.
Be the best that you can be. When you
make a mistake, learn from it, pick yourself
up, and move on. —Dave Pelzer
Strategies for Success
Quick Tips to Help
Keep You on Track
1) Be a great listener.
2) Empower your team.
3) Be polished; don’t take the easy road.
4) Excuse yourself.
5) Be generous. Give more than you get.
6) Be friendly. Introduce yourself, always.
7) Be accountable for your actions.
8) Be present. Turn off your device.
9) Focus your attention in the eyes of the person with whom you are communicating.
10) Always act with integrity.
11) Speak respectfully and listen to the opinions of others.
12) Stop gossip and don’t be drawn in.
13) Deliver.
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14) Work on your handshake.
15) Have courage and communicate.
16) Be yourself.
Acknowledgments
There are many people to thank for the wisdom and observations that led to the creation of these characters and the solutions to avoid them:
Elmer Gates, Mike Caruso, Martin Till, Tony Iannelli, Rick Anderson, Lee Butz, Tony Salvaggio, Jack Pfunder, Todd Welch, Bonnie Hagemann, Michelle Griffin Young, Danielle Joseph, Drea Rosko, Chrissy Hixson, Sally Gammon, Buddy Lesavoy, Dorothea Johnson, Francis Hesselbein, Kostas Kalogeropoulos, Ilene Hochberg Wood, Kim Howie, Nancy Werteen, Shelley Redding, Michelle Landis, Laurie Hackett, Dr. Sam Giamber, and of course, my family: Lynd, Gene, Bob, Chris, Scott and Melissa Corley, Libby Lenz, the Wertheims, the Baum/Hickmott/Perlin Crew, and most importantly Brad, Reed, and Shay Baum.
Special thanks to Jessie Seneca for lighting a fire under my chair and to Anne Alexander and Jennifer Reich for believing in the concept.
About the Author
Anne Corley Baum is the Lehigh Valley executive and vice president, distribution channels and labor relations for Capital BlueCross. She is the senior leader in the Capital BlueCross Lehigh Valley office. Anne leads the network of more than 5,500 producers, and she’s responsible for the plan’s organized labor customers.
Since joining the company in January 2010, Anne has been involved with strategic planning, operations, partnership development, community relations, corporate giving, sales, and account management throughout Capital BlueCross’ eastern service area.
Anne is the owner of Vision Accomplished, a fi rm dedicated to leadership and culture. Anne is active in the community and has served in leadership roles with many boards and executive committees.
In 2003 Anne was selected as one of the Best 50 Women in PA Business. Anne received the Lehigh Valley SUITS award in 2009, and she was selected by the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as Woman of the Year in 2010. She received the Girl Scout’s Take the Lead Award and the Chamber Woman’s Business Council ATHENA Award in 2013. In 2015, she was named as a Woman of Infl uence by Lehigh Valley Business. In April 2017, Anne received the Golden Laurel Award from the YWCA of Bethlehem.
A native of Glenview, IL, Anne holds a BS in Biology from the University of Illinois, Champaign-Urbana, IL, and an MS in Health Systems Management from Rush University, Chicago, IL. She is certifi ed by the Protocol School of Washington as a protocol and etiquette consultant.
She is a proud mother of two wonderful children and is married to her high school sweetheart.
Small Mistakes, Big Consequences Page 3
