by Amie Knight
We closed the tree off and I grabbed Holden’s hand, steering him in the direction we would need to go. We’d met this morning for our walk and had gone our separate ways afterward. Holden had therapy, and I had a shower and work that had been calling my name.
He’d knocked on my door just in time for us to leave for my favorite part of the week. We’d stopped along the way to drop off some books.
“Duh, Hold. One to five stars. Five being the best. One the worst. That’s how readers rate books.”
His right eyebrow arched. “That’s not how I rate things. I’m a reader.”
I stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “So, you don’t have a Goodreads account?”
“What the hell is a good read?”
We started walking again and I laughed a little manically. “Goodreads. It’s a website. You can record what you’re reading. What you want to read. You can leave reviews. And rate a book one to five stars.”
“Hmm.” He sounded intrigued.
“I can’t believe you don’t know Goodreads. Who are you? I feel like I don’t know you at all.”
He shrugged before asking, “Where are we headed anyway?”
“Oh, Holden, when are you gonna realize I like to surprise you?”
“I know, that’s what scares me.”
I smiled as we entered the parking lot of the hospital. It was Friday, after all!
“What are we doing here?” He looked up at the towering building in front of us. He didn’t look happy about our location. It was a cool, cloudy day and even I had to admit the catholic hospital looked a bit ominous.
I put my arm through his and pulled him forward. “Oh, come on, it’ll be fun, I promise.”
He walked forward warily. “In my experience nothing fun happens in places like this.”
Everything made sense to me, then. Holden hadn’t had the best experiences lately with hospitals. He’d probably spent a long time in one not so long ago, too.
I stopped under the awning in front of the building. “If you don’t want to go in, we can go home right now.”
He gazed down at me. “You’d do that for me? Leave right now?”
“In a heartbeat,” I answered immediately.
I didn’t know what I’d done to earn it, but Holden grabbed my cheeks in his palms and pressed his lips to mine hard. It wasn’t long. It wasn’t sexy. But it was the sweetest dang kiss I’d ever had.
He pulled back and grabbed my hand in his and dragged me toward the front door of the hospital. I had to practically run to keep up, his every step at least two of mine.
By the time we got to the elevator I was out of breath. We hopped on right beside an older couple. I pushed the elevator button and noticed the elderly man eyeing Holden’s dog tags.
“Thank you for your service, son,” the older gentleman said.
Half of Holden’s mouth hitched in a barely there smile as he stepped forward and held out his hand. “Thank you, sir. It was a pleasure to serve my country.”
The man shook Holden’s hand, and I couldn’t help but wonder how much of a pleasure it really was. He’d lost so much.
We got off the elevator and I couldn’t help but ask, “Was it really a pleasure?”
He didn’t miss a beat. “Of course. I’d serve all over again if given the chance. I joined the military to travel the world, Mae. But I did more than see the world. I righted injustices. I learned to be a soldier first and foremost. I wouldn’t trade my experience in the military for anything.” He looked down at his leg. “Not even my leg.”
“So you’d do it all again?” I breathed out, astonished.
“Absolutely.”
“Why?” I couldn’t fathom losing my best friend. A limb. I couldn’t understand why he’d risk it all again.
His sneakers squeaked against the white hospital floor as he stopped us right in front of the NICU.
He poked me in the chest. “For you,” he said, point-blank, then looked around us. A nurse walked past in the hall. He pointed in her direction. “For her.” And then he looked beyond me to the glass room that housed all of my angels. “For them,” he finished.
My mouth fell open. Could this freaking man be any more swoony? I swooped in on him. I couldn’t help it. Throwing my arms around him, I pulled him close. “You’re amazing. You know that?” I whispered into his ear.
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. “Yeah?”
“Mmmhmm,” I hummed into his neck. I couldn’t let go. Who was this amazing man who sacrificed everything? His best friend. His leg. His life. Where did he come from?
I felt the vibrations of his chuckle against my chest.
“So did we come to the hospital to hug it out, or did we come for some other reason?”
I guess that was code for this hug was getting awkward, so I pulled back and motioned to the glass wall behind me. “We’re here for them.”
I walked into the NICU nursery with Holden on my arm.
Hadley smiled at us as she rocked a baby in a nearby chair. “Hey, Miranda.” She raised her eyebrows at Holden. “You brought a friend today, I see?”
I left Holden’s side and wrangled Hadley into a corner. “I know he’s not an approved volunteer, but I think he could really use a baby cuddle.” I pleaded with big puppy dog eyes complete with batting eyelashes.
She eyed me and then Holden. “Fine, but only because I trust you and you’re our most consistent volunteer.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” I clapped my hands in excitement and headed back over to Holden.
“Holden, this is Hadley.” I motioned in Hadley’s direction, and Holden gave her the head nod he gave everyone.
“Nice to meet you, Holden. Any friend of Miranda’s is a friend of mine. She’s been invaluable to us here in the NICU.”
I washed my hands at the sink and then walked over to Gracie’s crib, Holden on my heels, but immediately noticed there was a new baby there.
“Gracie went home yesterday, Miranda,” Hadley said with a sad smile from across the room.
I was always happy when the babies got to go home, but I’d miss my Gracie.
I picked up the new baby and turned around to walk to a rocking chair, but Holden was just standing there staring at me.
“What are you doing, big guy? Grab a baby and sit your keister in a chair.”
I was getting the crazy look from him again. I was starting to get used to this look. He only looked at me this way about 50 percent of the time.
I moved around him and looked down at the sweet baby in my arms.
“His name is Walker,” Hadley called from the other side of the room and I giggled.
“Well, aren’t you a little Texas ranger,” I cooed down at Walker, rubbing the side of his face with my fingers, careful of the feeding tube coming from his nose.
“I don’t understand what we’re doing,” Holden grumped from above me.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake, Holden. Wash your hands, grab a baby, and have a dang seat. It’s that simple, honey.”
He shook his head in confusion. “But why?”
“Because, sometimes, you just gotta hold the babies.” I settled back in the chair with a sigh, a sweet baby on my chest.
Holden grunted as he stomped over to the sink to wash his hands.
Hadley grinned over at me. “Miranda here is our best baby holder. Didn’t she tell you what she was bringing you to do?” she asked Holden, barely suppressing a giggle.
He looked over at Hadley as he scrubbed his hands, scowl firmly in place. “She tells me nothing.”
At that, I felt a little of my own laughter break free.
Holden dried his hands and walked around the room, eyeing the babies nervously.
“Just pick one, Hold. They don’t bite.”
His forehead scrunched, and he wiped his palms on the front of his jeans. “They’re all so little,” he choked out, scanning the cribs.
“Well, yeah, a lot of them are preemies.
Just pick one and come on over here.”
With a big breath, he picked up a little baby with dark skin and a soft tuft of hair on his head. He held the baby out in both of his hands, cupping his tiny body, studying him.
I couldn’t help but grin at Holden’s awkwardness.
“That’s Wesley,” Hadley informed us.
“I’ve never held a baby before,” Holden said.
“Well, then you don’t know what you’ve been missing. Bring him to your chest like I’m holding Walker.”
He walked closer to the rocking chair next to me and brought the small baby to his big chest before sitting softly in the chair, careful not to disturb Wesley.
He sat there, stiff as a board, clutching poor Wesley to his chest like a football. A football he was scared to death he was going to drop. I brought Holden here to relax and to help out. To make him feel good. Only right now, he looked incredibly tense.
“Relax,” I said softly to Holden.
He ignored me and looked down at the baby in his arms. He looked him over a long time. He pulled his tiny hand free of the blanket and touched his little fingers. He rubbed his big hand through the soft dark hair on the baby’s head.
I looked away, feeling like an intruder. I didn’t like anyone interfering with my baby time, so I gave Holden a little privacy, leaned my head back, closed my eyes, and pretended he wasn’t there.
A few minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up to find Hadley standing next to me, a finger to her lips. She motioned over to where Holden sat, so I turned my gaze his way.
I barely held in a gasp at the sight before me. He was laid back in the rocker. His head rested on the headrest, his eyes closed, his face serene. That sweet baby was cuddled to his big chest like he did this sort of thing on the regular. His big hand practically covered the entire baby and they rocked quietly back and forth. Big, bad, frowning Holden in his black T-shirt and jeans with a baby on his chest.
My nose burned with emotion. I’d never ever in my life seen anything sweeter than Holden Steel cuddling a baby. It was pure perfection. And when Holden leaned forward and ran his nose along the top of that sweet baby’s head I thought I was going to die.
I looked back up at Hadley and whispered, “Did you hear that?”
Her adorable nose wrinkled. “Hear what?”
“The sound of my ovaries exploding.”
She placed her hand on my shoulder and threw her head back in silent laughter.
Squeezing my shoulder, she threw Holden a wistful look and said, “Me, too, girl, me, too!”
I snuck another peek at him only to find his lips in that familiar twitch I adored.
I watched him far longer than I should have. Eventually his eyes sprang open, but I didn’t move mine away even then. I couldn’t. This man was becoming everything to me.
Eventually, he spoke, “You come here every week to do this.”
It wasn’t stated like a question, but I answered it like it was. “Well, yeah.”
He shook his head, his dark eyes sparkling even in the crappy fluorescent lighting. “And you think I’m amazing.”
Epic Romances
Romeo and Juliet
Rhett and Scarlett
Darcy and Elizabeth
I could tell we both left the hospital lighter. I was totally right. Babies make everything better. It didn’t hurt that on the way out Holden held my hand and asked if I wanted to stop for pizza. Pizza! He was a man after my own heart that day.
We ate pizza and drank beer and talked and laughed and it felt so good. It’d been an incredible day. But the longer I sat across from him, the more smiles he threw my way, the more that dimple surfaced, the more I pressed my thighs together underneath the table. I wasn’t lying when I said my ovaries had practically exploded at the hospital. Never had Holden been more delectable than when holding that baby. As the day went on, it seemed he only got better and better.
We left the pizza place and made the short walk back to our apartments, but the whole time I felt over sensitized. Sexually charged. Holden’s hand wrapped around mine shouldn’t have been making my core ache, but every time he ran his thumb over my knuckles I wanted to moan. I wanted an instant replay of our morning at the beach. No, I wanted more. I wanted him. And I didn’t care if he was gentle with me.
We walked the steps to our apartments silently, our hands still clutched together.
We got to my door and I turned toward him, pulling him close to me. I’d be brave this time. I wanted him. I’d have him. But I’d have to take him.
I kept pulling until he was so close to me I could smell him. His dimple popped out and I brought my free hand up to touch it. He leaned into my hand, so I ran it around the back of his head and through his thick, soft hair.
I leaned up on tiptoe and brought his head down to mine. I kissed that dimple I loved and then the rough scruff of his jaw, and finally his lips. He groaned against my mouth, allowing me entry, so I slipped my tongue inside, echoing his groan.
I felt dizzy. Light-headed. Breathless. I nipped his top lip. Sucked his bottom one. He let me. I knew my Holden liked control, but he let me lead tonight and I took my fill. Eating his lips, tasting his jaw, biting his earlobe. Christ, but I was driving myself crazy. I even contemplated getting him naked right there in the hall. I needed him, but he barely touched me. He kissed me back, his hands at my hips, but I wanted him. I wanted him to push me against the wall and really kiss me. The hard way. The Holden way.
I pulled out of our kiss, panting. “Come inside,” I whispered across his lips.
“You sure?” His gaze was questioning, but hopeful.
He’d told me how it would be between us. He wanted to make sure I knew. But I didn’t care how I got him as long as I got him now.
“I don’t need gentle. I don’t need soft. I just need you. Right now.”
That was all the permission he needed because he leaned around me and grabbed the keys to my apartment right out of my hand. I’d never seen a door unlock so fast in my entire life.
He pushed through the door and dragged me toward my couch. When we stood right in front of the sofa he finally paused, scowling down at me. “Your shirt, take it off.”
“Well, don’t look so happy to get me naked, Hold,” I said, barely lifting the hem of my T-shirt.
“Stop teasing me and take it off, Mae. I want to see what I’ve been dreaming about for over a month.”
He dreamed of me? That sobered me. I lifted the shirt over my head, a little insecure. Holden was built like a brick house. I had a little extra junk in my trunk.
The shirt came over my head and fluttered to the floor, and any doubts I had about not being perfect enough for Holden were long forgotten when he grabbed me by the neck and crashed his lips to mine, his tongue invading, pillaging, taking no prisoners. He held nothing back, and I gave him everything I had.
His lips left mine too quickly as his mouth traveled south, giving my chin a delicious bite before heading to my neck where he breathed me in. “You smell like vanilla and coconuts. It drives me fucking mad.” He sucked, nibbled, and bit at the soft spot between my shoulder and neck. His hands found my shoulders and rubbed downward, their roughness all too scintillating to my softness. His big palms cupped my breasts over my bra and a shiver shot up my spine. He felt so good everywhere.
This is finally happening.
“Fuck, you feel better than I ever imagined and I imagined a helluva lot, baby.”
“You did?” I whispered into the air between us, shocked. I’d thought about Holden plenty like this, but it never occurred to me he’d thought about me, too. I stared at him, thinking of all the dirty things he might’ve thought of doing to me and blushed. His thumbs danced across my nipples too softly, his lips behind my ear, at my jaw, tasting every part of me his mouth could reach.
He leaned away and smiled down at me, his hand going around my back. “You’re so fucking cute.” And my bra was gone in a flash, puddled at our feet.
His gaze ate up my breasts and my nipples swelled under it. One lone finger traced the outside of my nipple, driving me crazy. He was soft and slow, methodical. What had happened to him fucking me on every surface? Hard. I was kinda looking forward to that.
Arching my back, I begged, “Please.”
He didn’t make me ask twice. Arms cradled my back, arching me further, and his mouth descended on my breasts like I was a feast and he was a starved man. His hot mouth suckled my nipple hard before licking its way to my other and doing the same.
I crushed my hands into his hair, too far gone to care that I was pulling it. He bit my nipple hard, and I cried out into the quiet as he sucked the sting away again and again. My belly quivered. Heat sang in my veins. I’d never been so far gone. So wet. So ready.
Large hands slid down the back of my stretchy jeans and panties, cupping my behind while sliding them past my hips to my knees, but never did the assault on my breasts stop.
Pushing my panties and pants down with the heels of my feet, I grabbed the bottom of his shirt and lifted it over his head. I needed him naked. I needed to see him. I needed to feel him.
Holden buried his face between my breasts. “Christ, I can smell you.”
I should have felt embarrassed about how wet I was, how ready, but his words slid over me like a prayer and they only sent me higher, farther into my sex crazed oblivion.
I pulled him up, my hands going to the button on his jeans while my mouth tasted the expanse of his chest while I tongued the small brown nipples on his pecs.
He was bigger everywhere this close up and naked, and when I slipped my hand into his pants I learned he was large everywhere. I pushed his pants down past his hips, just enough to steal a glimpse.
His cock was long and wide and cut so perfectly, I couldn’t stop myself from reaching out and wrapping my hand around it.
“No underwear?” I asked, biting his neck.
“Not today.” He grabbed the band from my hair and my red waves cascaded around my naked shoulders.
“Lucky me.” I smiled and stroked the length of his smooth, hard cock while his gaze devoured me, desire sizzling in the air around us.
