Benjamin reached the table in front of her and picked up the tray with uneaten crumpets and the untouched teapot and cups. “The tea’s cold, and the crumpets are old. I’m going to have the butler bring us fresh tea and crumpets. Unless you don’t like crumpets. I could have him bring something else.”
“I like crumpets,” she said, hoping it would stop him from going into another long ramble. Her headache wasn’t going to go away if he persisted to second guess every single decision he’d made.
“I’ll have fresh ones brought with hot tea then.”
“I don’t mind crumpets that have been sitting out for a while.”
He took a good look at the crumpets. “I don’t know. These have been sitting out for two hours. I didn’t expect you to take so long to come back down here, but I realize you had to instruct the maids where you wanted them to put everything in your bedchamber. Then you had to change outfits.”
She waited to see if he would take a moment to comment on her unattractive appearance now that he had brought attention to her clothing.
But, to her dismay, he smiled. “You look very lovely.”
Her eyebrows furrowed as he turned to the butler who was entering the room. He couldn’t really think she was attractive. Not in her drab clothes, pressed down “assets”, and too-tight bun. Surely, he was lying. She knew he wasn’t blind. Perhaps his vision was blurred. Maybe he didn’t see things clearly. Maybe he needed spectacles.
Or maybe he was only being polite. He knew how awful she looked just as well as she did. He just didn’t want to hurt her feelings. He was being a gentleman about things. Yes, that had to be it. He was merely being polite.
After the butler took the tray, Benjamin walked over to her. “He’ll bring us a fresh pot of tea. I asked him to leave the crumpets on the tray since you said you prefer those.”
He sat next to her, and she held her breath as she waited to see if he would take this opportunity to get uncomfortably close to her, but to her relief, he kept a nice distance between them. She breathed a sigh of relief. For the moment, at least, she was safe.
“I can’t tell you how happy I am,” Benjamin said. “I know some gentlemen aren’t that eager to marry. They’d rather wait. I would tell you why they are this way, but I don’t want to offend your sensibilities.” His face grew bright red. “Though, I suppose just saying that is highly inappropriate. You are a lady. You have delicate ears. I’m sorry. I’ll be more mindful of this fact in the future.”
She decided she’d had enough. “You don’t have to apologize. I know you have no intention of saying something scandalous.”
Besides, it wasn’t like ladies didn’t have moments where they engaged in rather shocking speech when they were in private. She knew that some gentlemen liked to have intimate encounters with ladies they weren’t married to, whether they were young or old. Those who had more money had the tendency to do it the most, probably because ladies were attracted to their wealth.
Judging by the extravagant wedding breakfast, the necklace Lilly said was worth the same as a townhouse, and the furniture in this townhouse, Benjamin had much more money than most gentlemen. Her father had lauded him for having no debt, so all the things had been paid for. But she knew, without asking, that Benjamin had never been with a lady. He was as much a virgin as she was.
“I want you to know that I am very interested in you,” he continued. “Your wishes matter a lot to me. I want our marriage to be one where you can be honest with me. You can tell me whatever is on your mind.”
She knew he meant that, but there was no way she could do that, given how she felt about him. She was going to have to figure out a way to prevent him from falling in love with her, and the sooner she did that, the better. Taking a deep breath, she opted for her second scheme that would, hopefully, give her a better advantage than dressing like a wallflower.
“Since you want to hear my opinion,” she began as she scanned the room, “I don’t like the furniture in here.”
She resisted the urge to wince when she saw the surprise in his eyes.
“Do you mean that you don’t like all of the furniture or just some of it?” he asked.
“I was speaking specifically about this drab settee,” she said. Seizing the opportunity, she stood up, shuddered, and sat in a chair. “This chair will do.” She rolled her eyes. “I suppose. But there’s no saving that table. There’s no shine. No sparkle. Scratches are everywhere.”
“There are?” His eyebrows furrowed as he leaned forward to inspect the table which was just fine.
“Can’t you see them?”
He studied it again then shook his head.
“Maybe you’ve had it so long you can’t see them,” she said. “I’m just appalled that something like that table is in a room with such large windows. The sunlight makes the scratches that much more apparent.”
“It does?”
“It’s my fault for being blessed with amazing sight. Or maybe I’m cursed.” She scanned the room and shook her head in disgust. “There’s nothing in this room that is fitting for a titled gentleman’s wife.” She glanced at him. “Are you truly happy with this furniture?”
His eyes were so wide that she thought they might pop out of his head. He obviously didn’t know how to respond.
She pushed aside the stab of guilt that told her she was being unnecessarily mean to him. She had to do this. It was the only way for him to come to the conclusion that they would be better off living in separate townhouses. That was, after all, her goal. No matter how awkward this was, she had to keep her goal in mind. No gentleman wanted an argumentative wife. Wives were supposed to be pleasant.
“The furniture is two years old,” he said as he gave the room a thoughtful study. “I suppose it’s time to buy a new furniture set.”
She stopped her jaw before it hung open in shock. He couldn’t be serious! He wasn’t going to actually agree with her on this, was he?
Apparently, he was, for he added, “Fashion isn’t limited to clothes. We need to be mindful of our residences as well. I agree. This is something that should be dealt with at once. Tomorrow we’ll talk with a gentleman I know who designs furniture.”
“Tomorrow?” she blurted out in shock.
“Do you think that’s too long to wait?”
She had to be misunderstanding him. There was no way she could have possibly understood him. But he stared at her as he waited for her to respond, and the sincerity in his eyes let her know she had understood him just fine.
“We can go right now if you want.” He rose to his feet and approached her.
She struggled to find a way to tell him that running off to buy a whole new set of furniture for this room was absurd when the butler entered the room with the tray full of tea and crumpets.
She gestured to the butler. “Perhaps later.”
Benjamin turned to the butler and jerked as if he hadn’t expected him to come back. “Oh, yes. I suppose it would be wasteful to dispose of another pot of tea.”
Yes, it would. Not that they had to get rid of the first pot, but she didn’t feel like bringing it up. He’d been trying to please her. Granted, he was trying too hard. She didn’t know if he was only doing this around her, or if he made it a habit of doing this with everyone. She didn’t recall him seeming too eager to do what her parents wanted, but they were so happy with him, she doubted he had to make any serious effort at pleasing them. They adored him as soon as they met him.
“We’ll go tomorrow. I’ll send word to the gentleman today. That way he’ll be ready for us when we see him,” Benjamin said.
Before she could respond, he ran to the desk and removed the top of the inkwell.
She let out an inaudible sigh and turned her gaze to the butler as he poured tea into the cups. She wondered what the butler thought of Benjamin wanting to run off to get new furniture even though the items he currently owned was only two years old. Did servants ever have thoughts about what their employers did, or did t
hey not care as long as it didn’t affect their wages?
Benjamin went to the butler and handed him an envelope. “Thomas, see that Mr. Jamison gets this missive within the hour.”
Oh dear. This was really happening. Benjamin was going to replace all of this furniture because he wanted to make her happy. Emilia struggled to think of a way to convince Benjamin not to go through with this, but what could she say that wouldn’t give her ploy away?
The butler left with the missive, and Benjamin turned to her, looking very pleased with the arrangement. “There. It’s all taken care of. Before the week is over, you won’t have to look at this terrible furniture anymore.”
She had to look away from him. She couldn’t make eye contact with him right now. If she did, she’d break down and confess she’d only said all of this because she didn’t want to live in this townhouse with him. She didn’t think she could bear hurting him like that. If only her parents had arranged for her to marry a brute. Then this would be much easier.
Benjamin moved the table over to her. He offered her one of the cups, and since she wasn’t in the mood to keep up the pretense of being a difficult wife, she accepted it and took a sip from it. Perhaps she would be able to be more difficult later, but she couldn’t do it right now. Next time she chose something to complain about, she’d have to pick something less expensive.
“Would you like a crumpet?” Benjamin offered as he placed one on a cloth napkin.
She accepted it, careful not to let her fingers brush his. She didn’t know if any other lady experienced the overwhelming sense of dread of having her husband touch or kiss her. If so, they never discussed it.
She glanced at the window. It was still early in the day. She didn’t know how she was going to get out of the wedding night. From the way Benjamin was treating her, she knew he would never go to her bed if he knew the truth, but what husband wanted to know his wife was repulsed at the idea of making love to him?
She stared at the crumpet in her hand. She was going to have to address the issue of tonight sooner or later. Was it best to approach it now and get it over with, or should she wait until he broached the subject? He would broach the subject at some point, wouldn’t he? Or would he just show up in her bedchamber without any clothes on?
She shuddered.
“Are you chilly?” Benjamin asked.
She hadn’t realized he had sat back on the settee. He had a cup in one hand and a crumpet in another. Her gaze went to his hair. She blinked in surprise. There were a few strands in the back which stood straight up, but for some reason, she found it kind of charming, in a funny sort of way.
“Emilia?”
She blinked and turned her gaze back to his.
“If you want, I can put another log into the fireplace, or I can summon the maid to bring you a shawl from your bedchamber,” Benjamin said. “You should be comfortable in your own residence.”
“That’s not necessary. The tea is hot. It’ll warm me up.” She took a sip of the tea and resisted the urge to grimace since it stung her tongue. Since he was watching her with a worried frown, she added, “It worked. I already feel warm.”
He relaxed. “All right, but if you want more wood in the fireplace or a shawl, you’ll let me know, won’t you?”
“Yes.” She bit into the crumpet and had to admit the cook did a wonderful job. It was delicious. She wondered if dinner would be like this.
“What would you like to do this afternoon?”
“We’re having tea and crumpets.”
“Yes, we are, but we won’t be doing this all afternoon. We have plenty of time before this evening. I thought we’d do whatever you’d like. I have plenty of interests. We could play a game of cards, go for a ride in the carriage, or take a walk. We could even visit your friends if you prefer.”
“Visit my friends?”
He nodded. “They seem like nice ladies. Lilly is married to Roger, though I know him more formally as Mr. Morris. We’re members of White’s. I’m not friends with him. I suppose you could say we’re acquaintances. Since we’re married, he said I could refer to him as Roger. He’s a likable fellow. He plays chess a lot with his friend, Lord Northton. I can’t recall a time I’ve seen both of them away from a chessboard. I don’t play chess much. A lot of gentlemen like the game. I notice the chessboards are often occupied when I’m at White’s.”
Yes, she recalled seeing Roger and his friend playing chess when she and Lilly had snuck into the establishment under the guise of being gentlemen. She also recalled seeing Benjamin there and staying as far as she could from them because of it.
Perhaps a visit with Lilly and Roger wasn’t such a bad idea. It would ease some of the awkwardness she experienced at being alone with Benjamin.
“Can we invite my friend and her husband here to visit?” Emilia asked.
“You’d like them to come here for a game of cards or games?”
“I was thinking they could stay through dinner.”
“It’s unusual to have guests over so soon after a wedding and wedding breakfast,” he said.
He was right. It was. Lilly and Roger had been here already today. She was going to have to go through the dinner alone with him.
“However,” he continued, “I don’t see the harm in inviting them here. I’d like to get to know your friends better. I’ll send the invite right away.”
Relieved, she took another bite of the crumpet. Yes, she still had tonight to worry about, but if Lilly and Roger would come over and stay with them through most of the evening, it would be nice. Also, it would give her a chance to discuss this matter with Lilly. Certainly, there must be a way for a lady to get out of her wedding night.
Being married, Lilly would know what to say or do to dissuade a gentleman from coming to a lady’s bed. Her mother had been no help in offering suggestions on this matter. Lilly would, though. If she could depend on anyone to help her at a time like this, it was Lilly.
What a relief. Thank goodness she had a friend who didn’t mind being honest about all matters. And thank goodness Benjamin was willing to have her over for a dinner party. Feeling more optimistic about the future, especially the immediate one, Emilia took another bite of her crumpet. Now she didn’t have to dread dinner. She could look forward to it.
Chapter Four
Since Lilly and Roger had replied back that they would be coming over for dinner, Emilia decided to change into another gown. It wasn’t one of her best. It was better than the drab brown one she’d had on earlier, but it wasn’t as vibrant as the others she had. Nothing about it stood out. She blended easily into the background whenever she wore it. It was a light green gown that had seen better days. She mostly wore it when she was going to stay home for the day.
She still wanted Benjamin to think of her as a wallflower, but she had to put some effort into her appearance for her guests’ sakes. The balance was a tricky one. She rummaged through her jewelry and finally picked a pearl necklace. Then she brushed her hair so that it fell in soft waves past her shoulders. She opted not to put any pretty pins into it.
She studied her reflection in the mirror. She looked better than she had earlier that day, but she wasn’t all that attractive. It hadn’t occurred to her how much the pretty gowns, jewelry, and other accessories had accentuated her looks. Without those things, she almost felt ugly.
She had to resist the urge to put something prettier on. But she couldn’t try to look attractive, no matter how alarming it was to see her reflection. She had a mission. It was important she stick to the plan. She couldn’t let something as silly as vanity get in the way of her goal.
A knock came at the door. She turned toward it and paused. It wasn’t Benjamin, was it?
“Lady Valentine?” a female voice called out from the other side.
Emilia relaxed and hurried to the door. She didn’t think Benjamin would want to consummate the marriage before dinner. He hadn’t given her any reason to think he was the type to do anything like that b
efore it was night. Thankfully, she’d been right.
She opened the door, and a maid, who couldn’t be much older than her, offered her a smile. “Mr. and Mrs. Morris have arrived.”
“Thank you.” Emilia opened the door farther and stepped into the hallway.
“Lord Valentine asked me to make sure you’re happy with your bedchamber. He said if you aren’t, you can make any changes to it.”
Emilia thought over everything Benjamin had asked her while they were in the drawing room. She was sure he’d asked her about the bedchamber. But she didn’t remember if she had answered him or not. He’d said so much that it was hard to recall the entire conversation.
Since the last thing she wanted was for him to needlessly spend money, she said, “I like my bedchamber as it is. There’s nothing I want to change.”
The maid’s smile widened. “I’m relieved to hear that, my lady. I had a hand in decorating it, but I kept wondering if I did an adequate job. I could hardly sleep all night. I tried to follow your mother’s instructions exactly as she gave them.”
In that case, Emilia was especially glad she’d given her the response she had. She’d hate to make the poor maid worry any more than she had.
“The room is beautiful,” Emilia assured her. Since there was nothing else she could think of to say, she asked, “Are Mr. and Mrs. Morris in the drawing room?”
“Oh, yes! Your husband is there, too. He asked me to tell you they’re waiting for you, but he also made sure I told you that you don’t have to rush. He wants you to take all the time you need.”
“I’m ready now.” Thanking her, Emilia headed down the hall, aware that the maid followed a few steps behind. She wasn’t in the habit of speaking to the maids unless there was something that needed to be done, but something about this maid prompted her to slow her steps and ask, “Have you been employed here for long?”
Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Page 3
