Emilia shouldn’t have brought the blue diamond ring over to show her friends. She should have known as soon as Lilly saw it, Lilly would lose all interest in helping Emilia with her cause. She looked at Kitty, hoping her other friend wouldn’t be so won over by a piece of very expensive and very exquisite jewelry.
Kitty set her cup in her lap and shifted in her chair. “There are more things in this life than expensive things,” Kitty told Lilly.
“I realize that, but expensive things as beautiful as that ring aren’t easy to get,” Lilly said. “That ring would make Lady Cadwalader die of envy.”
“I didn’t get this because of Lady Cadwalader,” Emilia replied. “I was hoping Benjamin would get so upset that I’d spend seven hundred pounds on a ring that he would throw me out of the townhouse.”
Lilly gasped and got up so she could get a closer look at the ring. “That was seven hundred pounds?”
“Yes.” Finally! Maybe Emilia was going to get through to her friend after all. “It’s absurd that anyone would let me own this. I have to convince Benjamin to make me return it right before he demands I live in a separate residence.”
Lilly held Emilia’s hand and moved it so that the diamond sparkled in the sunlight. “You have no idea how well this would go with the necklace he gave you for your wedding.”
“Lilly!”
“A lady can do worse than Benjamin. So what if he’s unattractive? That ring and the necklace make up for it. If you find that you can’t bear to look at him, look at this.” She gestured to the ring.
Emilia rolled her eyes. “I thought you learned how terrible it is to put an emphasis on things after what happened with Lord Hedwrett.”
Lilly put her hands on her hips. “That’s not fair. You can’t compare Benjamin to Lord Hedwrett. Benjamin’s a very sweet person. I know he’s not all that attractive, but he’s doing everything he can to please you. If you don’t like the furniture in a room, he’ll change it. If you want your friends over for a dinner party, he’s more than happy to invite them over. Benjamin will let you spend as much as you want on yourself. And, if that’s not enough, Roger likes him. Roger would like to have more dinner parties with him. They even belong to White’s. I bet they’re playing a game of chess with each other right now.”
“I never said he was a bad person. It’s just that the thought of kissing and doing things in the bedchamber with him is difficult for me.”
Lilly frowned. “But I thought you said he hasn’t forced you to be with him in that way.”
“He hasn’t. I haven’t been with him in bed. And I don’t want to be.”
Kitty’s eyes grew wide. “What would he do to you in bed?”
Emilia grimaced. “My mother told me all of these horror stories.”
Lilly laughed. “Horror stories?”
“They seemed like horror stories when she was telling me about what to expect. I’m just grateful Benjamin wants to delay the consummation of the marriage,” Emilia replied.
“He does? Why?” Lilly asked.
“He wants to give us time to get to know each other better first, but I think he’s also nervous about it.” Emilia was, too, though she had the feeling he was much more so. “There’s a lot of uncertainty about the whole thing. It’s not like we do this kind of thing with everyone we meet. It’s something we only do with the person we marry.”
Kitty nodded. “That makes perfect sense. He’s very considerate.”
“Yes, he is,” Lilly said. “I suspect he would have gotten over his nervousness rather quickly if you’d gone to his bed.”
Emilia shot her friend a panicked look. “I could never do such a thing!”
“I realize that, but having been with Roger, I’ve learned that it doesn’t take a lot of convincing to get a gentleman to make love to you.”
“It doesn’t?” Kitty asked, not hiding her interest.
“Do you take me for a fool?” Emilia asked Lilly. “I’m well aware that Roger didn’t touch you until after we went to White’s disguised as gentlemen. That means Roger had no trouble ignoring any of your attempts to be with him in bed.”
“I didn’t try to get into his bed while he was mad at me,” Lilly said as she sat back down. “I’d learned my lesson on manipulating him to do what I wanted. Once he forgave me, we made love, and ever since that night, I’m able to convince him into being with me whenever I wish.”
“You do? How?” Kitty asked.
“The easiest way is by removing some clothing,” Lilly began, “but a certain touch and look does the trick, too.”
“What kind of touch and look?” Kitty asked.
Emilia groaned. “I had no idea you were so interested in this topic, Kitty.”
Kitty glanced her way with wide eyes. “I’ve never been with a gentleman. I don’t know any of these things. I’m just curious.”
“If you were so curious, then why didn’t you marry Benjamin when you had the chance?” Emilia asked.
“Benjamin didn’t want her,” Lilly said. “He wanted you.”
“So?” Emilia asked.
“So, it wasn’t her he would have married,” Lilly replied.
“I don’t want to marry anyone,” Kitty said.
Surprised, Emilia and Lilly both turned their gazes to Kitty. “You don’t?” Emilia asked.
“I just don’t have the desire to be a wife,” Kitty replied with a shrug. “I don’t mind watching you two get married, and I want you two to be happy with your husbands, but I’d rather be a spinster.”
“That’s so sad,” Lilly said.
“It’s not sad if that’s what she wants,” Emilia argued. “Not everyone wants to get married.”
“I realize that, but it’s nice to have a husband you love who loves you in return,” Lilly said. “It’s nice to have someone hold and kiss you. And then there are children. I think I’m already expecting.”
“You do?” Emilia asked.
Lilly nodded. “It’s too soon to be sure. I need to wait a few more days to make sure.”
“Does Roger know?” Kitty asked.
“Yes, but I told him not to tell anyone until a few more days go by,” Lilly replied. “I’ve been late a couple of times in the past when I was expecting my monthly flow.”
“It would be exciting if you were with child!” Kitty’s eyes lit up.
“If you like them so much, then why don’t you get married?” Emilia asked.
“I didn’t say I wanted babies of my own,” Kitty said. “I like looking at other peoples’ babies. I think of you two like my sisters. When you have children, I’ll be like their aunt.”
“You will be like my child’s aunt,” Lilly assured her. “Both of you will like an aunt to the little one.” She put her hand over her flat abdomen. “I hope there is a little one in there.” Lilly gave her a tentative look. “If you have a baby, our children could be friends.”
“No,” Emilia blurted out before she could think of anything else to say. She was trying to convince Benjamin to get rid of her. The last thing she wanted to do was encourage him to be in her bed. “I can’t believe you’d even say that. You know I have to get rid of this ring, and it has to be his idea to send it back.”
Emilia held her hand up and did her best to ignore the way it sparkled at her. Rings couldn’t communicate. They were just objects. But she swore the thing seemed to be urging her to keep it.
“If you don’t want it, give it to me,” Lilly said. “Tell Benjamin you grew bored with it and want another one.”
“What will Roger say if he sees you with something this expensive that didn’t come from him?” Emilia asked.
“Give it to me,” Kitty interrupted. “I have no husband to upset by having it.”
“Hold your tongue,” Lilly said. “I came up with the idea first. The ring should go to me.” Her gaze went to Emilia. “I’ll tell Roger it was from you. I’ll say you bought it but grew bored of it. Then if he and Benjamin talk, they’ll have the same story.”
Emilia shook her head. “I can’t give something away Benjamin spent seven hundred pounds on. That’s a lot of money. He must get it back.”
Lilly put her hand over her heart. “I’m not doing this for me. I’m doing this for you. You keep insisting that you want to live in a separate townhouse, and I’m helping you with that. If Benjamin gets the seven hundred pounds back, how will he be upset enough to demand you get your own townhouse?”
“You’re not being generous, Lilly,” Emilia said. “I know you. You want this ring, and you’re using this as an excuse to get it.”
“Well, it is a gorgeous ring,” Lilly replied. “If I were you, I’d go to bed with Benjamin just to have something like that on my finger.”
“Lilly!” Emilia said.
“What?” Lilly sighed. “It can’t really be that bad to think of being in bed with him, can it? The act itself is quite pleasurable. If it’s dark, you won’t even have to see him. You can just let him touch and kiss you and make you feel wonderful.” She patted her abdomen. “Children are a lot of fun to make.”
Emilia groaned.
“If his big nose hits you in the head, pretend something fell from the ceiling,” Lilly said.
Kitty laughed. “Something like what?”
“I don’t know.” Lilly shrugged. “Maybe she could imagine a piece of the headboard fell on her.”
Kitty laughed harder.
Emilia looked heavenward for a moment then directed her gaze to Lilly. “It’s not that easy. I have to want to be in bed with him, and I just can’t bring myself to do it. I’m not going to argue that he isn’t sweet. I know he is. He’s too sweet to be losing seven hundred pounds on this lovely ring.” She wiggled her finger so the thing sparkled again.
“You should see the necklace,” Lilly said. “If you like that ring, you’ll love the necklace.”
“I wish I’d seen the necklace when I had the chance,” Kitty murmured.
“Maybe you can see it.” Lilly’s eyes lit up. “We can have another dinner party. This time we can have Kitty come along.”
“But she doesn’t have a husband or a suitor,” Emilia said. “Things would be unequal.”
“So what?” Lilly asked. “We’re all friends. It doesn’t matter if one of us isn’t married.” She turned to Kitty in excitement. “You’ll love the necklace. It’s got every color under the sun in it.”
Kitty’s eyebrows rose in interest. “Really?”
Emilia gave up. Her friends weren’t going to be much help at this point. She couldn’t blame Kitty. Kitty had no experience with gentlemen. She hadn’t even had a suitor. The most she’d ever done was dance at a ball, and now that Emilia thought of it, she couldn’t recall Kitty dancing with more than three gentlemen. But Lilly was different. She’d had her choice of suitors. She knew how to dissuade a gentleman from falling in love with her.
Emilia glanced at the ring. The ring seemed to wink at her. It was the loveliest ring she’d ever seen in her entire life, and it belonged to her. But was it worth holding onto this when she didn’t return Benjamin’s feelings? Was it fair to him to keep up this pretense? Wouldn’t he be better off living apart from her? She really should spare him the pain of a loveless marriage.
“All right,” Emilia finally said.
Lilly and Kitty stopped talking, and Lilly glanced her way, a question in her eyes.
Forcing back the wave of apprehension in her gut, Emilia took the ring off her finger and gave it to Lilly. “I’ll tell Benjamin the ring bored me. Then I’ll demand another one.”
“If he doesn’t throw you out of the townhouse over that, I’ll be surprised,” Kitty said.
“That’s why I’m doing it,” Emilia replied.
“I promise that I’ll take good care of it,” Lilly said. “It’s much better you give it to me than return it to the shop.”
Emilia nodded, though a part of her wondered if Lilly was right. Already, she missed the feel of the ring on her finger. Her hand felt naked without it. But she had a goal, and she couldn’t let anything get in the way of it. She just had to keep her focus. If she did that, everything would turn out the way it was supposed to.
***
Benjamin had been at White’s for a whole hour, but he still hadn’t worked up the nerve to ask Lord Edon for the book on pleasuring a lady in bed. He’d heard that the book did wonders for an inexperienced gentleman. A part of him was also uneasy about owning such a book. He used to think that the only gentlemen who wanted it were ones who wished to live the life of a rake, and since that kind of life had never appealed to him, he’d never gotten it, though he would be lying if he hadn’t admitted that he was curious to read it.
Who wouldn’t be curious? The topic of lovemaking was an interesting one. He might not have any experience, but he wanted to eventually get it. It would just be nice if he didn’t bumble his way through his first time. It wouldn’t only be good for him; it would be good for Emilia, too. He wanted her to get enjoyment from her time with him.
He glanced at Lord Edon who was talking to three gentlemen on the other side of the room. He couldn’t just go up to him and ask him for the book while others were around him. Even if he was in a gentleman’s club, it would be embarrassing to let others know he needed a book to tell him what to do.
He released his breath and turned his gaze back to the newspaper he was only pretending to read. Usually, he liked knowing what was going on, but right now, politics didn’t have the slightest appeal to him. What he most wanted was to be with Emilia. He never thought he could enjoy being with someone as much as he enjoyed being with her. There was still so much to learn about her and how marriage worked, but the more he was with her, the more he learned.
He liked that she felt comfortable enough around him to go without fancy accessories and flamboyant gowns. It didn’t matter what she was wearing. To him, she was the most beautiful lady he’d ever seen. She was thoughtful, too. She wasn’t rash to speak like some ladies were. It was nice to know he wasn’t with a lady who engaged in gossip. She was like an undiscovered gem in a cave. It was his good fortune that he got to marry her.
He looked back up and saw that Lord Edon was getting up from his chair. A spark of panic made him leap to his feet. He couldn’t let Lord Edon leave without asking him about the book.
He put the paper on the table and hurried after Lord Edon as Lord Edon left the room. He was ready to call out to Lord Edon in the main room when Mr. Robinson came into the establishment. The two friends began talking, and they returned to the room Benjamin and Lord Edon had just left.
Benjamin winced. Should he go back into that room or stay out here? Would the other gentlemen in that room think he was odd for returning so soon after he left? Sure, Lord Edon could do it. Not only had Mr. Robinson just shown up, but Lord Edon could get away with doing anything without risking ridicule. If he was more outgoing and fun to be around, he could probably do the same.
“I’m glad you’re here,” a familiar voice called out to him.
Benjamin’s gaze went to Roger, who’d just entered White’s. At once, he felt immensely better. Now he could go back into the room, and no one would think anything of it. He offered Roger a greeting and asked if he wanted to talk in the other room.
Roger nodded, and Benjamin went back to the chair he’d been sitting in moments before.
Roger sat next to him and clasped his hands together in excitement. “Do you want to go fox hunting next week? That estate I told you about has a couple of vacancies.”
Fox hunting did sound like fun. Even if he wasn’t very good at it, he enjoyed the sport since it got him outside. But did Emilia like it? He hadn’t thought to ask her.
“I should ask my wife,” Benjamin said. “I have no idea if she likes fox hunting or not.”
“Oh, this is a place where only gentlemen fox hunt.”
“But ladies can fox hunt, too.”
“Yes, I know, but the owner of this particular estate only allows gentle
men to participate in the sport. It’s like White’s, except you don’t need to be voted in. The estate is only under a day’s journey from here. We’ll have to stay overnight, but we won’t be gone for long. My advice is to pack plenty of warm clothing. We’ll be out most of the day.”
Benjamin shifted in the chair. “I only recently married Emilia. I don’t want to be away from her for an entire night.”
Roger paused for a moment then ventured, “I suppose it wouldn’t be appropriate if she were to disguise herself as a gentleman and come along?”
Benjamin gasped. “Emilia would never do such a thing,” he whispered so no one would overhear. He didn’t think anyone was listening to them, but if they were, he had to be careful so that he didn’t unwittingly catch undue attention.
“How do you know if you don’t ask her?” Roger asked, also lowering his voice.
“She’s a lady. She’s shy and quiet and…and…very ladylike.” Benjamin let out an uneasy chuckle. “She wouldn’t dare do such a thing.”
“But if she were willing to, would you want to bring her along?”
Benjamin felt heat rise up to his cheeks. “But she wouldn’t. I don’t think any lady would ever disguise herself as a gentleman and go into a place where only gentlemen are allowed. It’s just not something ladies do. It would upset their sensibilities.”
Roger shrugged but didn’t argue the point.
Benjamin hated to disappoint Roger. It was obvious Roger wanted to go, and from what Roger had told him that night he and Lilly had come over for dinner, Roger’s good friend, Aaron, didn’t care for the sport. Benjamin drummed his fingers on his knees. “I do want to hunt. I would love to learn how to be better at the sport. It’s just that I’ve waited my whole life for someone like Emilia. It’s difficult to be away from her.” Had it not been for Lord Edon’s book, he wouldn’t have lingered here as long as he was. “Can’t we hunt for foxes in a place closer to here?”
“I’m sure I can find another place,” Roger replied.
Nobody's Fool (Marriage by Design Book 2) Page 7
