Once Upon a Bad Boy--A Sometimes in Love Novel

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Once Upon a Bad Boy--A Sometimes in Love Novel Page 32

by Melonie Johnson


  Bo could appreciate her excitement. Early in the new year, either because he was finally sick of the Chicago winters or Claudia had finally worn him down, Vic had finally signed the papers passing full ownership of Windy City Stunts over to Bo. WCS was officially his. And he was happy, in a manner of speaking. But it was hard to feel much of anything when there was a gaping hole in his heart.

  No matter how hard he worked on set during the day or how long he spent working the bag in his loft at night, Bo would fall into bed, mentally and physically exhausted, and dream of Sadie. There was a sadness inside him, a bruise he didn’t think would ever fully go away, but it was a pain he could live with. There was regret, yes. But not resentment. He’d come to understand what she’d meant about not wanting to go back and change the past. The choices they’d both made, for better or for worse, had brought their lives to this point.

  Bo had made a mess of things that night in the stable. Luna was right. He’d had a choice to make. And he’d made the wrong one. He only hoped it wasn’t too late to set it right. He should have gone after Sadie that very night. But it had taken him a while to pull his head out of his ass. And once he finally did, she was gone. Off somewhere in California or New York, doing movie-star stuff. That scared him too. That she was moving beyond his reach again, orbiting farther away all the time.

  These last few months, while Sadie traveled the country, appearing on talk shows and chatting with late night TV hosts, it would have been so easy for Bo to listen to the small cruel voice in his head that told him he wasn’t good enough for her, that he would never be good enough. Especially now. Now that her star had risen, that she was loved and adored by a legion of fans, the world at her feet.

  But he refused to give in to those fears. He wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice. He began to imagine what he would say to her, how he would reach out to her. Before long, it had become part of his dreams. And just like when he was a kid, once he’d dreamt of doing it, he believed he could.

  Bo glanced over at his sister. “You remember your part in the plan, right?”

  “Hand her the note.” Luna waved an annoyed hand. “Why are we doing this tonight? You could have just walked over to the estate anytime in the last few months when she was there, or I don’t know, called her.”

  “No.”

  “Or you could hand her the note.”

  “No. She has to come to me, and it has to be—”

  “—In the meadow,” Luna finished for him. “Got it.” His sister slid him some side-eye. “I never would have guessed you to be such a romantic. Weird, but romantic.”

  “I’m not romantic.”

  Luna laughed. “Then we’ll agree on the weird.”

  A sudden murmur ran through the rows of fans as another limousine pulled up. Bo braced himself.

  “She’s h-e-e-re!” Luna sang. “Good luck.” His sister gave him a quick peck on the cheek and disappeared into the crowd.

  Sadie emerged from the limousine. Bo had a clear view of her for a half-second before the throng of admirers swooped in. An instinct to rush forward, to shield and protect her, sliced through him, but he held his ground. He’d seen the security detail and knew she was in good hands. He remained where he was, watching from the sidelines as his abeja had her first big movie-star moment.

  Dozens of girls, perhaps a hundred or more, lined the curb and sidewalk leading up to the theater. Many of them sporting “the Jamie,” the name that had been given to the short spiky hairstyle of Sadie’s character. All of them were shouting, eyes shining with devotion as they chanted, “Fair is fair!” and “My body, my choice!” over and over.

  To the public, Sadie had become Jamie—in real life as much as on the screen. Like her character, Sadie owned her past and spoke her truth, earning respect and admiration from the media as well as from a growing legion of fans.

  And from Bo as well. Putting aside his own tangled feelings, he could respect what she’d done, admired the way she’d handled herself through all that had happened. Watching her sign autographs, smiling and chatting with people as cameras flashed and the frenzy continued, people screaming her name, Bo’s heart twisted.

  She looked so beautiful, the folds of her long gown sweeping gracefully over her legs, fluttering out as she walked along the red carpet. Her hair had begun to grow out, no longer the cropped spiky locks of Jamie, short golden curls now framed the fine, almost elfin lines of her face, grazing her chin. His hands itched to tangle in her hair. He wanted to trace the curve of her exposed neck, skim one finger along the delicate line of her collarbone, kiss the top of her bare, elegant shoulders. More than anything, Bo wanted to pull Sadie to him and hold her against his heart.

  Later. If it was meant to be. If they were meant to be together, he would hold her then.

  He would hold her forever.

  On cue, Luna skirted around the crowd, passing through security with a flash of the access pass around her neck. Then she was next to Sadie, and Bo almost did a double take to see the two women hug. Would wonders never cease.

  Sadie took the note from his sister and turned, searching the crowd, her gaze colliding with his.

  Bo sucked in a breath.

  Maybe Luna had told her where he was standing, or maybe Sadie had sensed he was there, or maybe it was both. All Bo knew was that she felt it too—that same buzzing sensation under her skin. An awareness.

  Their eyes held, and within the space of a heartbeat, everything slowed down, the shouts from the crowd, the flashes of the cameras, all of it fading to nothing as he and Sadie stared at each other. The moment stretched out like a rubber band, expanding. And then snap. The noise flooded his ears, and she disappeared beyond the door, Luna with her.

  Bo eased back through the crowd. Luna had given Sadie the message. That was all that mattered for now. The rest would be up to her. If she came to the meadow, if she showed she was open to at least that much, it would be enough to give them a chance.

  If not, he’d know it was well and truly over.

  CHAPTER 30

  WHEN SADIE ARRIVED at the Murphy estate, it was late enough at night to be called early in the morning. She parked in front of the house and reached into the little beaded handbag she’d brought with to the premiere, pulling out the note Bo had given her.

  She opened it gingerly, careful not to spill the glitter tucked inside. He’d given her glitter. A tender smile tugged at her lips; she still couldn’t believe it. But belief was what this was all about. Belief and hope. And trust. Sadie read his words again.

  I’ll be waiting where we first met.

  When we first met.

  Meet me there.

  I dare you.

  That was it. All through the premiere and the after-party, Bo had been there. Not for real, she hadn’t seen a trace of him since that moment on the red carpet, but he was there, in the back of her mind, his dare taunting her.

  There was no confusion regarding the place Bo was referring to. What Sadie wasn’t clear on were his intentions. He wanted to meet her, back where everything started. Why? Was he ready to forgive her? Had he forgiven her already? And if so, did that mean he was ready to try again?

  She wouldn’t get the answers to any of these questions unless she took Bo up on his dare. All evening, Sadie had debated with herself, cruising on autopilot as she smiled for cameras, signed autographs, and made small talk. Meanwhile, the questions played on repeat inside her head—an endless loop of doubt. Should she meet him? What if he didn’t show? What if she’d misunderstood? Should she go?

  Her brain could have saved the mental energy. Her heart had known what to do since the moment she’d read the note.

  It was Bo.

  Of course, she was going.

  Tucking her keys into the little handbag, Sadie got out of the car, the sound of the door clicking shut too loud in the predawn air. The sky was that strange inky blue-black that offered the promise of day, but held it back, the ocean of night fading into the brightening
line of the horizon like the undulating curve of a shoreline.

  Sadie folded the note into a tiny square, holding it tight in one fist. She glanced up at the dark and empty house. Silent windows stared down at her. Even though the house was now hers, it didn’t feel like home anymore. Not without Nana living there. Her grandmother had said to give it time—whatever Sadie eventually decided to do with the estate, however she decided to proceed—she had her blessing.

  The sky continued to lighten, now almost that same indigo shade as the drapes on her Nana’s canopy. Sadie turned to look east, where the faintest streaks of pink crept past the lingering shadows.

  It was time.

  Note still pressed tight in one fist, Sadie made her way toward the back of the house. As she headed across the meadow, she realized she should have ditched her premiere finery and changed into something more comfortable. But the thought hadn’t even occurred to her. She’d had one goal—make it to the meadow by dawn.

  Now, with the glittery hem of her evening gown snagging on thistles, stilettos slipping in the wet grass, Sadie wished she’d taken a few minutes to at least put on different shoes. She kicked off her heels, leaving the expensive Italian leather behind as she made her way toward the line of trees on the other side of the meadow.

  Her bare feet padded across the carpet of wild clover as the sky continued to grow brighter. Clutching the paper in one hand, Sadie picked up her skirts and began to run, her heart pounding in her ears. She reached the edge of the meadow, and stopped, breath coming in gulps.

  Filled with a sense of urgency, Sadie had to remind herself she was not literally trying to beat the dawn. There was no magical hidden path to discover. No fairy prince to trap and demand he tell her all his secrets.

  To the east, streaks of gold and pink continued to fill the sky, but still she was alone, the meadow empty, save for herself. Doubts circled like ravens, casting shadows in her mind. Maybe she’d misread his letter. Misinterpreted it. Maybe he wasn’t coming after all.

  She scanned the line of trees, hope sinking in her chest as dawn crept toward the horizon. A faint rustle from behind her made Sadie’s heart lurch, and she turned. Bo was here. Moving toward her through the trees from the west—always the west—heading into the sunrise.

  Just like that first time all those years ago, when he suddenly appeared before her, riding a horse pale as moonlight, it was like magic. And now, like then, he seemed too good to be true. A figment of mist and shadows. A fae prince who would disappear with the coming light. But as the light grew, burning away the mist and dispelling the shadows, he didn’t disappear. Rather, he became more distinct. More real.

  Sadie stood at the edge of the meadow, watching Bo approach. Still in his dress pants and shirt, he hadn’t changed clothes either. The suit jacket was gone, though, and the sleeves of his shirt were rolled up, powerful forearms flexing in the early morning light as he gripped the reins and guided his mount toward her. Back then, he’d been a boy with beautiful eyes and a dangerous smile. A fairy prince come to steal her breath and heart.

  The figure who appeared before her now had the same beautiful eyes. But his smile was more dangerous than ever. No longer a boy. Not a fairy prince, but a man. One who still stole her breath.

  But not her heart. That, he hadn’t stolen. Because she’d given it to him. Freely.

  And no matter what happened in this meadow, in this moment, deep down, Sadie knew he would hold a piece of it always.

  Leaving the horse to nibble at the clover, Bo moved toward her. “You came.”

  “I did,” she agreed. “Which means it’s your turn. Truth or dare?”

  He studied her, his light-brown eyes molten honey, a warm golden glow. “Does it matter which one I pick?”

  She cocked her head at him. She’d thought about this on the drive and had prepared an answer. “Not really. If you say truth, I’ll ask how you feel about me. If you say dare, I’ll dare you to tell me.”

  “I see.” He was quiet for a moment. “The truth, then.”

  Sadie’s heart froze in her chest, ice spreading through her veins like frost despite the warmth spreading over the hill. She braced herself, set up protective shields inside. This time, if he said it was over, she would be prepared. This time, if he said they should never see each other again, she wouldn’t shatter.

  When he spoke, Bo’s voice was low and etched with pain. “After you told me what you did, what you kept hidden from me, I thought you had been so selfish.” His voice shook and he stopped, took a breath. “But everything I was feeling—it was all about me. I was the one being selfish. I never stopped to think about what you were going through. Didn’t wonder what it must have been like for you to face that alone…” He made a desperate, choking sound, as if words were caught in his throat.

  “I wasn’t alone,” she whispered. “Not completely. I had my nana. She helped me see my way through.” Sadie wiped at the tears burning in the corners of her eyes. “She wouldn’t let me hate myself for the choices I made. No matter what, she always, always, made sure I knew I was loved.”

  “She’s a very special lady.” He smiled softly. “I’m glad she was there with you, and I plan to thank her in person. But I should have been there too. I never should have abandoned you.”

  “Bo, we’ve been over this,” Sadie said, suddenly very tired. “If you are looking to apologize, if you are here because you need me to absolve you of any lingering guilt you feel, fine. You’re absolved.”

  “That’s not why I’m here.” A muscle worked along his jaw.

  Sadie’s temper snapped. “Why, then? What’s done is done. I told you, we can’t go back and change the past.”

  “This isn’t about the past, abeja. It’s about the future.” He reached for her, then, pulling her fingers into his hands. “Our future.”

  “I can’t plan a life with you, Bo.” She pulled away, wrapping her arms around her middle. “Not if I’ll always wonder if you resent me. If you resent the choice I made.”

  “Sadie, I love you.”

  “I know.” Realizing what she’d just said, Sadie laughed, short and bitter. She shook her head, saying it again. “I know, Bo. But if you can’t forgive me, truly forgive me, if that seed of resentment remains inside your heart, then I’m afraid love won’t be enough. That seed will fester and spread. I can’t worry that one day, if we do decide to have a family, this ghost from our past will rise up and come between us.” She was trembling, her voice shaking now, but he had to know where she stood. “I refuse to let that one moment define the rest of my life.”

  “You wanted the truth. Right, abeja?”

  She nodded. Heart too heavy and throat too tight to say more.

  “I forgive you for not telling me. For hiding the truth for so long. I understand why you did it. And I forgive you.” Bo paused and sucked in a breath before continuing, his voice softer than a prayer, “But I cannot forgive you for the choice you made.”

  Each word he spoke was like a shard of broken glass. Sadie swallowed, choking as they shredded everything inside her. She’d told herself she was prepared. That her heart would be protected this time. Safe. But no matter how much she’d braced for disaster, she still hadn’t seen the hit when it came. She forced herself to look at Bo. To meet his gaze one last time.

  But as he stared down at her, Sadie slowly began to realize something.

  His face was not closed, his mouth not harsh.

  And his eyes … his lucky-penny eyes were not glittering with anger or resentment or worse. They were bright and full of love. Glowing with warm compassion.

  “I can’t forgive you, Sadie. Because there’s nothing to forgive.”

  “What?” she whispered.

  “I mean it, abeja. I’ve had months to think about this. You did what you needed to do. What was best. For you. That’s as it should be, and I accept it. I accept it as part of you.” Bo brushed a hand over her cheek, touch tentative and featherlight. “And I love you. I love every part
of you. Everything you’ve done and every choice you’ve made. They’ve brought you here.”

  Hope collected the tattered threads of Sadie’s heart, weaving them back together, stronger than ever before. Like magic, as he spoke, his words became a part of her, healing the broken places inside her. “I love you too. Always. I’ve never stopped.”

  “That’s good.” Bo’s smile was crooked. Hopeful. “Don’t ever stop.” He pulled her into his arms, kissing her once, his lips full of tender promise, before he turned her around, pressing her back to his chest, facing the horizon. The sun was fully up now, the sky bright with promise. “That first morning, when we were kids, you came from the east, bringing the sun with you.”

  Sadie shifted, pivoting so they faced the woods. “And you rode in from the west.”

  Bo nodded, chin brushing against her hair. “We came from the opposite ends of the earth, but we met here. Our worlds were so different, I always feared they would drift farther apart, pulling you away from me.” He turned her to face him, his arms pulling her close. “It took me a long time, but I finally realized, all my life, I’ve been looking at it the wrong way.”

  “What do you mean?” she asked, searching his face.

  “It’s not about your world or my world. It’s about our world. The one we make together.”

  Yes. Her heart soared. It made perfect sense. So simple, and yet, it had been so hard for either of them to see. “You’re right.” She went on tiptoe, cold wet clover tickling her toes, and kissed him.

  “What now?” she wondered.

  “I was thinking,” he began, a note of uncertainty in his voice, “how would you feel about building a house? Right here.”

  “Here?”

  He nodded. “In the meadow, but close to the line of trees.”

  Sadie could picture it. A tidy little house, the fairy cottage she used to dream about, with windows facing east to welcome the sun and a hammock in the back to watch the twilight fade in the west. A home made just for them.

 

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