by Jamie Gray
Lanie hugged the journal tight against her chest as she deliberately turned her back.
Lexi was notably taken aback by Lanie's sudden outburst. Although, she approached the situation with caution. She had never seen her act this possessive before, so it was hard for her to read the situation. "Are you okay?" she asked softly, stepping around Lanie so she could face her. She tried to find the small girl's face, but she kept it angled firmly towards the floor.
"Um… yeah."
"Lanie."
Her shoulders sank deep as she let out a long sigh. "I'm sorry. I just came down here to have some time to myself.”
"Why? What's wrong?"
Lanie pressed her lips together, looking anxious and worrisome of how to respond. She took in a deep breath before answering. "I just feel terrible for not being able to help.”
A warm smile spread across Lexi’s face. That’s it? she wondered. "Oh, it's not your fault." She reached out to grasp Lanie's non bandaged shoulder. "It's Kadence that's being paranoid. Don't blame yourself."
Lanie shook her head wildly. "But it is on me," she cried, pushing Lexi's hand off her shoulder as she looked back up at her. "I've been training for years to get a grip on my Element, and I’ve accomplished nothing, and then when you get the chance to try out my abilities, you get the hang of it in a manner of minutes. If you can do so much, then why am I even here?" she asked desperately. Her face flushed bright red as tears slipped down her cheeks and fell to the hardwood floor.
Lexi felt her stomach turn, she couldn’t help but see herself in her shoes. Sure she was powerful, but for a long time she’d felt everything but. With her natural white hair, and out of the ordinary scarring on her wrist, she was ridiculed for many years, called a freak, a mistake. And for a while she found herself agreeing with them. She used to wonder if there was something wrong with her. Pondering the reason why her birth parents decided to leave her on the street like a piece of trash. She remembered feeling useless for a large chunk of her life, and even now she felt like an outsider. No one completely understood her abilities, she’d been lied to by nearly everyone she’d put her trust into, and now she was being hunted by a sociopathic murderer. Needless to say, Lexi felt that she could relate to her predicament. “I get it, you want to prove yourself. I feel the same way, but your time will come.”
"But that's just it," Lanie wept, squeezing the edges of her journal. "I can do just about anything else I put my mind to, like dancing, singing, balancing things on my head, playing all kinds of different instruments." Her voice had risen in volume as she’d begun bouncing her journal up and down while she spoke. "People here say that it takes years to master the violin. It took me minutes. But when it comes to commanding the Universe, the only thing I was actually born to do, I got zilch. The Universe isn't with me, and I don't think it ever will be," she sobbed, shaking her head, as a flood of hot tears flooded down her cheeks.
Lexi quieted, subconsciously hugging the bag of chips against her stomach as she leaned her head back tiredly, trying to come off as casual and relaxed to hopefully make Lanie feel the same. “Do you really want to be like everyone else?” she asked, scrunching her face together as though it was a disgusting thought. “Sounds like a pretty boring life to me.”
Lanie’s head had fallen back down to face the floor, indicating to Lexi that she should try a different approach.
"Look at it this way. We each have our own goals. And, I mean, they're goals for a reason. They're not supposed to be easy," she explained plainly, her tone soft and comforting as she rested her hand back on Lanies shoulder. She didn’t push it off immediately, inviting her to step in closer. "I want to go to Arespea and find my birth parents, and well, that sure ain't going to happen anytime soon.” She paused for a moment, swallowing as she took a breath. “Your goal is controlling the Universe. A little different, but plausible," she smiled.
Lanie quickly shook her head, popping her head back up as she briskly wiped the tears from her face. "See, I don't understand why anyone would want to go to Arespea,” she replied in a direct voice, continuing to shake her head at her. “I know you want to find your birth parents and all, but how do you know that they're even still alive?"
"What do you mean," she curiously asked, placing the bag of chips back on the counter.
"Arespea is a discriminatory world that’s raging with war,” she began explaining in a serious tone. “There are monsters around every corner, and you can't venture anywhere outside your allied kingdoms. Otherwise, you risk being killed on sight. But here! This place is great," she sighed, smiling. "It's so bright and calm, and everyone is integrated together. There's no, 'you stay in this corner, and you stay in that corner. If you move, you die,'" she described dramatically, putting on a deep voice. Her shoulders relaxed as she gazed out the kitchen window longingly. "Ah, I can only imagine what it would be like to live here. To get to smell the soothing grass, feel the warm air on your face everyday. All of the interlaced colours. And the sunsets, oh the sunsets." She practically melted at the thought of them. "I didn’t even know they called sunsets, but I would watch them every night if I lived here," she sighed softly, hugging the journal against her chest.
Lexi shrugged, "Well, I mean, Earth isn't exactly the best, and I'm sure Arespea isn't as bad as you say. Please, tell me more about it."
Lanie's head turned away from her as she thought it over, still hugging her journal in close. She appeared to be debating whether it was a good idea to continue this conversation, like there was something she didn’t necessarily want to tell her. The longer she thought, the more Lexi wanted to know. "I think it's different for everyone," she finally began timidly. "My father was always very strict with me. He’s very judgmental of people, and has certain standards that he wants our family to uphold. We always had to act proper, and snooty, and wear fancy clothes that didn’t have mud on them. He would often push me to talk to any guy I could during gatherings, but I would usually just end up hanging out with the girls,” She chuckled. “Don't misunderstand, he loves me very much, and I love him… but there were always expectations. Expectations I could never meet," she explained with heavy eyes. “I felt like I couldn’t really be myself there.”
Lexi hadn’t expected her to go on about her personal experiences, especially with family, but she would take whatever she could get. Besides, she was interested in learning more about her. Lexi had half expected her to begin crying again, but nothing came.
Lanie spoke seriously, but a hint of uneasiness echoed through her voice. "That’s a thing with Universe Elements. We have a reputation to uphold." It was as though the things she was discussing were nothing out of the ordinary. Like it wasn’t worth crying over something so tedious. "Whenever I could sneak away from life, I'd throw on my pants and boots, and go explore." She smiled at the memorie. "I've always been such an awkward person, no real self-confidence or social skills without my name to hide behind, so I'd just watch people. I loved harmlessly watching them live their lives in their own way, with their own rules… in ways I never could. It was so fascinating to me. To see other ways of life was something I could never get tired of,” she explained cheerfully. “My favorite couple was Kadence and Adrian. Their story is one of my favourites to this day." Lanie glanced down, tapping the top of her journal with a beaming smile across her face.
Couple? Lexi thought to herself. Did Lanie mean a friendly couple… or a romantic couple? Kadence and Adrian hadn’t told her anything about their relationship beyond the timeframe that she’d known them. In all honesty, she wasn’t sure if she actually preferred one over the other. She figured it’d be better not to ask as she shook her head head of the thought. There was a different aspect of her phrase that had caught her attention. "Story?" she questioned, unsure of what that was supposed to mean.
"Oh." Lanie hesitated for a moment, peering down at the journal pressed against her chest. "Since I could never tell anyone about what I saw, or what I did outside of my parents' supervisio
n, I'd write it all down in here," she told her, tapping the journal again.
Lexi couldn't turn her attention away from that journal. She wanted so badly to only peak inside. Sure, she could’ve asked Lanie about it, but with the way she held that book, she doubted she would divulge secret information like that. She wondered what else may lie on the pages of that book. Kadence and Adrian had hid so much from her, shut down any questions she's posed to them. Their neglect only proved that there was in fact a story to be told, and a juicy one at that, according to Lanies favoritism of it. She had no idea how they met, how long they'd known each other, or anything for that matter. Yet now, all of the answers were a mere arms length away.
Lanie barely took notice of Lexi's desired interest in the journal as she went on. "Lexi, you need to be careful," she whispered, speaking so quiet that she almost didn’t hear her. Lanie stepped closer, leaning up towards her face. "The Voids are no joke. Trust me,” she advised seriously, her stare interlocking with Lexi’s. “They will kill you and anyone else who stands in their way," she explained in the same hushed voice, her body trembling and her forehead wrinkled as she looked up at her with a haunted expression.
Lexi was at a loss for words. She hadn't expected this talk of theirs to take such a turn. Her chest had tightened, and her heart had started to race. Seeing no other option for reply, she silently nodded her head to Lanie. She didn't know if she really agreed, but she was sure of the discomfort she felt every time someone brought up the name ‘Void’. It only further solidified her conflicted feelings, reminding her of her own uncertainty. A sense she feared she would ever gain the courage to resolve.
Chapter 21
The next day, Lexi went back to her house to get ready for the dance. Brooke had already left, and Lexi did her best to be quick. She pulled the white dress she had previously bought, from inside her closet and threw it on. She then grabbed Daymians dagger, which she had hidden beneath her mattress, and the duck taped it around her leg. Just in case something happened. She looked at herself in the mirror as she made sure the weapon wasn’t visible with her skirt down. She jumped when she heard her mom knock on the door. “Come in,” she called.
“Hey, hun. How are you doing?” her mom brightly asked as she opened the door.
“I’m fine, mom,” Lexi replied, keeping her attention on the mirror in front of her. She wanted to keep a wall up between them, hoping it would make it easier when she left.
Her mom walked to stand behind her as she talked to her through the mirror. “I know you love your explorations, but I just don’t want you to get hurt,” she sighed softly. “And if you really do want to keep exploring, then maybe we can all go somewhere. Somewhere, where it’s legal to explore the property.”
A smile tugs at Lexis lips. “Thanks mom.”
Her mom smiled back, rubbing her back. “I noticed that Brooke seemed upset before she left today. Could you keep an eye on her? Watch over her tonight.”
Lexi swallowed, looking down. “Yeah, I will,” she nodded, pressing her lips together.
Another knock came from the doorframe. “Wow, you look beautiful,” her dad gasped, his face turning red as he started to choke up.
“Dad don’t cry,” Lexi groaned. “I’m going to a school dance, not my wedding.”
“No, no, I know,” he nodded, sniffing his tears away. “You’re just growing up so fast. You keep those boys away from you tonight,” he insisted, waving his finger at her.
“Always,” Lexi laughed. She couldn’t imagine her life without either one of her parents. Although they weren’t her birth parents, they were the ones who were always there for her. She had no idea how she was going to bear leaving them, or Brooke. In a moment of sadness and desperation, she rushed up to her dad, wrapping her arms around him as she tried to hold back her building tears. “I love you dad.”
Her dad chuckled, sounding very confused. “Alright, you little firecracker.”
Lexi didn’t care what either of them said, or what they were thinking. She just wanted to hug them both one last time. She ran to hug her mom. “I love you mom.”
“We love you too, hun.” Her mom sounded far more concerned. “Is something wrong?” she asked, taking her shoulders.
Lexi threw herself off, holding her breath to try and keep her tears at bay a little longer. “No, no. I just don’t know how long I’m going to be out tonight, s-so I may not be here on time to say goodnight to you guys.”
Her dad smiled. “Oh, well we’ll wait up for you. Make sure you both get home safe, plus we’ll want to hear about your whole night.”
Lexi hesitated, she felt terrible. She’d lied to them before, but this felt like a stab to the gutt, and the longer the conversation went on, the more the dagger twisted. “U-um, okay. Sounds good,” she blurted, speed walking out the door as she waved goodbye. Tears rushed down her face the moment she exited the room. She whipped her cheeks dry as she sprinted down the stairs and out the door where Adrian and Lanie were waiting for her, trying desperately to not look back.
∞∞∞
Lexi, Adrian, and Lanie had a hard time finding a parking spot in the school parking lot, settling for a corner spot in the farthest row from the front doors. It was later in the afternoon and the dance had already started. They had taken Adrian's car, and were planning on staying for only a few hours, especially with Kadence staying behind, they didn’t want to be gone too long. They were mainly going to spend one last night with Brooke before they went away for who knows how long.
Lexi was wearing a white dress, made of tulle fabric, that held snug around her waist and hung loosely just above her knees. Below her skirt, she still had Daymians dagger duct-taped to her thigh, since she wasn’t willing to go in empty-handed.
Adrian wore a neon orange suit with a red tie, that would surely make him the easiest person to spot in the entire gymnasium.
Lanie wore a light teal romper with her black Panama hat. She hadn't come to Earth with any fancy clothing, and wearing another Elements colour of representation would apparently be insulting beyond belief. Besides, Lanie didn't care for celebratory wear, and she certainly didn’t care for skirts or dresses. Though, she did love her hat, as she still hadn’t taken it off since Brooke bought it for her.
Walking through those double doors felt like stepping into a past life. This building that triggered all kinds of negative emotions and anxiety for Lexi, suddenly appeared to her as nothing more than a distant memory. It was like this wasn't her school anymore. Like she hadn’t been there just a few days ago, searching for her first period class. The three and a half years she’d spent there suddenly felt like a lifetime ago. It put everyone on edge. As if this was a new place, filled with uncertainty. Anything could happen on this final night, and then they would leave it all behind, like none of it ever mattered.
Lexi couldn't help but feel her chest tighten as her gaze fell on Anastasia. She was wearing a glittering long form-fitting light pink dress. It looked as though it cost more than all of their outfits price tags put together. She had just stepped out of the gymnasium, having rounded the corner, and was now walking in their direction. It was clear that she was heading to the washroom. The hallway was dead as everyone had already piled into the gym, and so eye contact was near unavoidable between Anastasia and the group.
Anastasia was gripping her arms tight around her waist, as if she had a cramp while she walked, but as she spotted Lexi, a hint of anger flooded her stare. "What the hell are you looking at?" she shouted sharply, hulting her steps. She kept a large distance away, acting as though she was too anxious and timid to come any closer.
"What's your problem?" Lexi snapped back. She hadn’t said anything. She barely glanced at her, and suddenly Anastasia was lashing out at her? Something increadibly stupid must of happened to make her so angry, she thought to herself. She scoffed as she thought of a possible cause. "What, your boyfriend break up with you or something?" One could only hope. It would be some well deserved karma.
Anastasia's face flushed bright red. "Screw you, Lexi,” she barked, glancing over the group. “What, you’re psychotic freak of a friend couldn’t make it?” she groused.
Lexi cocked an eyebrow.
“Good riddens. The police should’ve thrown her back in that nuthouse a long time ago.” Anastasia scowled at them all as though they were murderous criminals. "Don't ever try to talk to me again!” she yelled, before strutting into the open washroom a few feet away from her.
Lexi stood stiff, her expression wide. “Nuthouse?” she asked loudly, whipping her head around as she stepped to stand in front of the pair, her focus locked on Adrian. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” There was no way Anastasia wasn’t talking about Kadence. She was the only one not there, but what she didn’t understand was what Anastasia was referring to, and how she could possibly know something about Kadence that she didn’t.
Adrian avoided all eye contact with her, wandering his attention elsewhere as though the wall beside him had suddenly become much more interesting.
Big surprise, more secrets. Lexi felt her heart beat faster. She refused to be ignored. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?" she asked again, louder this time as she spoke sternly and sharply. She hated Anastasia as much as the next person, possibly more, but why had she lashed out about Kadence so randomly? She wasn’t there and still she felt the need to call her psychotic, and refer to her being thrown BACK in a ‘nuthouse’. Kadence wasn’t there to answer Lexis questions herself, so she had to turn to the next best thing. Adrian knew Kadence the best. If anyone could tell her, it was Adrian, and so he was the one she would grill until burnt. "Does Anastasia know something I don’t?"
