Harmony of the Soul

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by Monroe, Jennifer


  Indeed, Harmony did pray, her stomach knotting as she watched Lord Miller prepare his shot. Please, Lord, bring us a gust of wind or cause the man to sneeze!

  Sickness overcame her, however, when the arrow flew true, landing in what appeared to be the exact center of the target.

  “Victory is mine!” Lord Miller said as he returned the bow to the table. “And now I shall claim my rightful spoils.”

  Harmony feared she looked like a frightened deer as the earl made his way to her, and she glanced toward Lady Windhelm in hopes of garnering a comrade. Unfortunately, her husband had called her to him, and Harmony was left alone to deal with Lord Miller. Yet, the other guests whispered behind fans and tittered behind hands as they watched the earl draw closer to her.

  The lustful look in his eyes helped little to keep her calm. “Now, my lord, I did not agree to the terms,” she argued, taking a step back from him. “And such actions are unbecoming of a gentleman.”

  He rested a hand on her cheek and smiled. “For the last year, I have done everything possible to win your approval. Countless hours listening to your father carry on with his nonsense, all in an attempt to get closer to you.”

  “Please, I am asking you not to do this, not in front of everyone.” She glanced around, shocked to see they were now alone, the others already returning to the house. “Come, our host has called everyone inside. We cannot keep them waiting.”

  As she turned to leave, however, he grasped her by the arm and glared down at her, pure madness on his features. “You listen to me, woman,” he hissed. “Do you not realize that my pursuit of you has been all I have wanted? This week your father will accept my request to court you, and you will have no choice. But hear me now. I will not have a woman who defies me.”

  “I am not your woman,” she snapped back at him. “My heart belongs to Nathaniel and no one else.”

  To her horror, he grasped her by the other arm and pressed his lips to hers. Although she tried to push him away, he was far too strong, and she could do nothing to stop the tears that escaped her eyes. What a brute he was!

  When the kiss finally ended and he released his hold, anger joined the fear that had overtaken her.

  “How dare you!” she said. Then she lifted her hand and slapped him across the face, leaving her palm stinging. She came to regret that move immediately, for he wrapped his fingers around her arms until she winced in pain.

  “If you ever strike me again, I will return the favor. And I promise it will do more than sting.” He pushed her away, making her stumble and fall to the ground. Then he adjusted his coat. “I will have no more defiance from you. I believe it is time for us to leave.” With that, he stomped toward the house after the other guests.

  Harmony slowly rose from the ground, mortified that he had not even helped her stand. No one seemed to have seen the exchange, but she could not be certain, for who knew who would be watching from the windows? Never had she been treated so cruelly, nor had she felt so humiliated. How she wished Nathaniel was there to protect her! Yet, for now, she would return home and tell her mother the truth about what had happened here. Perhaps that would convince her that Lord Miller was not the best choice for a suitor after all.

  Chapter Eight

  The journey home was spent in uncomfortable silence, even with three people in the carriage. Harmony wanted to scream at the man who sat across from her, to tell him he was a barbarian and that if he thought she would accept his offer of courtship, he was sadly mistaken.

  Yet, she said nothing. What did he care about her opinion of him? And what right did she have to refuse any offer he made if her father accepted on her behalf? Life could be so unfair!

  When they arrived at Eastwood Estate, Lord Miller handed her down from the carriage, and Harmony turned to thank him and send him on his way. Unfortunately, her mother walked out onto the portico.

  “Will you have a cup of tea before you go?” her mother asked.

  “I would love one,” he replied with an arrogant smile. “I would also like to speak to you.” He glanced at Harmony. “In private.”

  Harmony felt her cheeks heat. “I will go change,” she murmured before hurrying into the house and mounting the stairs.

  It did not take her long to change into a pale pink day dress with white lace on the sleeves and bodice. She wished she could simply remain in her room until Lord Miller was gone, but she knew all too well that if she did not meet her mother in the drawing room before he left, she would receive a right tongue-lashing. The day had been bad enough without being forced to hear her mother berate her even more than she would have otherwise.

  “Ah, Harmony,” her mother said when she entered the drawing room. “Sit down.”

  “I would like to speak to you, Mother,” Harmony said.

  Her mother pursed her lips and set her cup on the saucer on the table. Her look conveyed anger, so Harmony did as her mother bade, ignoring Lord Miller’s gaze.

  “The earl has just informed me of your fall,” her mother said once she poured Harmony a cup of tea. “It appears you were quite clumsy today.”

  Harmony shook her head in disbelief. What exactly had this horrid man told her?

  “Do you have something you wish to confess?”

  Taken aback, Harmony widened her eyes. “Confess?”

  Her mother shook her head. “Henry, I do apologize for my daughter’s actions today. I pray you will not think ill of her. Or of me and my husband. I realize we may have failed somehow in her upbringing. She is not usually so careless.”

  “Think nothing of it,” Lord Miller replied. “I am afraid I am partly to blame, for my actions were not that of a gentleman.”

  Her mother raised her brows. “Please, explain.”

  He chuckled. “I was so caught up in my victory that I placed a kiss on Harmony’s cheek. Although I do not suppose something as innocent warrants a slap, my actions were uncalled for.”

  Harmony sat dumbfounded. Surely her mother did not believe this man! Yet, her heart sank with her mother’s next words.

  “I do not believe your gesture was inappropriate at all,” her mother replied. “It was done in innocence, I am sure, but I am shocked by my daughter’s reaction. As her mother, I am shamed beyond belief. I humbly ask your forgiveness for her behavior.”

  “If Harmony will allow me to call again, I shall put this matter behind me.”

  “You are gracious, Henry,” her mother said. “And you may call over whenever it suits you best. Harmony will be waiting expectantly and will seek to earn back your favor.”

  Harmony could only gape. “He is lying, Mother,” she insisted. “He caused me to fall! I do not wish to see him again.” She returned the teacup to its saucer with a clink and leaped from the couch, intent on leaving the room – and this madness. “In fact, I refuse.”

  Her mother, however, would not have it. “Harmony, return to your seat this instant.”

  Lord Miller pursed his lips and stood.

  “Please, my lord, do not leave,” her mother said. “I beg of you to stay a while longer.”

  “I will speak to Mr. Radcliffe about the welcoming I received this day. From both of you. I know of no man, even a servant, who would stand to be treated so poorly. Good day to you.” Then he stormed from the room.

  Harmony stared at the now empty doorway. Should she go after him? Yet, why should she? He was the one who had lied about what happened at the Windhelm Estate.

  “What has come over you?” her mother said as she grasped Harmony by the arm. What was it with everyone feeling they had the right to hurt her? “You dare disrespect an earl in your father’s home? Now the man has left angry, and I fear your father’s temper will be taken out on both of us!”

  “He lied, Mother!” Harmony insisted. “He did not kiss my cheek but rather my lips, even after I begged him not to do so.” Tears filled her eyes. Would her mother hear her words? Would she listen? “That was why I slapped him.” Her mother’s eyes widened. “He gra
bbed me in anger and pushed me to the ground! It was not clumsiness that caused my fall but his brutal actions that did.”

  “You are an ungrateful child,” her mother spat. “You raised your hand to a man? And an earl, no less?”

  “Do you not care that he hurt me? Does his title and what is in his coffers mean so much to you that you allow your daughter to suffer at his hand?”

  The slap that stung Harmony’s cheek reverberated throughout the room. Her mother might have been stern on many occasions, but never had she struck Harmony before today.

  “Your attitude toward me and your father sickens me. I will be holding back your allowance until you can show me you are deserving of such rewards.”

  Harmony shook her head. “Then you do not believe me,” she muttered.

  Her mother sighed. “A gentleman’s word will always triumph over that of a lady,” she said. “Even that of my own daughter. As to him pushing you, I do not blame him. You struck the man! Granted, he may have kissed you, but that gives you no right to strike a man of the aristocracy.”

  Bile rose in Harmony’s throat. Would this nightmare never end? “Are you saying that any man may use me to assuage his lust?”

  “Be thankful that a man of his position desires you,” her mother retorted. “Many women are not so fortunate.”

  Harmony’s heart clenched. “I…I do not know…”

  Her mother refused to listen. “You will go to your room and pen a letter of apology this instant. Beg for his forgiveness if you must. Then you will write another letter, this one to Lord Lambert, explaining that he will no longer be welcome to call. The man has muddled your mind, and it will be best if you break it off cleanly.”

  For years, Harmony had suffered under her parents’ heavy hand, and now her mother threatened the very man for whom she cared. And although she had never disobeyed either of her parents, this time she would.

  “Nathaniel has asked to court me, and I accepted,” Harmony said. “As to Lord Miller, I care nothing for him, nor do I care what he wants or what you desire.”

  With that, she turned on her heel, ignoring her mother’s calls to return, and left the room – before she lost what little courage she had mustered.

  ***

  An hour had passed since Harmony returned to her bedroom, and thus far, her mother had not come to speak with her. Perhaps it was for the best, for she doubted her mother would relent in her refusal of Nathaniel.

  Sitting at the small writing desk, she took the quill in hand, dipped it in the inkwell, and began a new entry in her journal. Like singing, whenever she composed words from her heart, it soothed her soul. Her journal held entries dating back to her childhood, and it was her favorite possession.

  Although I know my parents want the best for me, their treatment of me has changed much over the last year. I am no longer a child, yet they continue to treat me as one.

  I understand their hope that I marry a man of title, for that is the way it has always been, but I am not naive enough to believe they do so for my benefit. No, their interest lies in what they can gain. Mother wishes to be invited to balls and to converse and make friends with those of the aristocracy, and Father wants to extend his business connections so that his wealth expands.

  Yet, not once have they considered my thoughts or feelings about whom I would like to marry. It is not as if I am running away with a butcher’s son!

  Well, I no longer care, for I love Nathaniel Lambert, and no one, not even Lord Miller or my parents, can stop me. What Nathaniel and I share is beautiful, and I will not have that taken from me. If that means I must go without their blessing, then so be it. I will not be treated as a means for their gain but rather I wish to be treated as the lady Nathaniel sees me, and the lady I know I am.

  And that is a lady in love, which is a beautiful thing that I will cherish and never lose.

  She replaced the pen in its holder, salted the page, and returned the journal to its place in the drawer. Simply writing down her feelings gave her a sense of relief, and she felt better despite the events of the day.

  Low whispers from the hallway made her smile, and she hurried to open the door. She was greeted by the three young maids busy with their dust rags.

  And as they worked, Harmony sang, bringing a smile to their faces as well as to her own.

  Chapter Nine

  The days waiting to speak to Mr. Radcliffe were grueling for Nathaniel. He had no doubt Harmony’s father would change his mind and allow Nathaniel to court Harmony, especially once he explained his true financial situation. Yet, every young suitor waiting to speak to his intended’s father had always been forced to endure a twisting stomach and damp palms.

  Or so Nathaniel had heard.

  When he arrived at Eastwood Estate, Nathaniel was told he would have to wait a bit longer, for Harmony’s father was otherwise occupied.

  “Might I speak to Miss Radcliffe, then?” he asked.

  A young maid was sent up to inform Harmony that she had a caller, and soon the woman who held Nathaniel’s heart descended the staircase, her lovely amber hair pulled back with silver hairpins with emeralds that matched her beautiful eyes. It was difficult for Nathaniel to keep his heart from bursting from his chest as he watched her lithe figure make its way toward him.

  “Do you think we may stroll through the gardens?” he asked. “I understand your father will be unavailable for some time, and I could use a bit of diversion.”

  Harmony gave him a small smile. “I believe that can be arranged.” She sent the same maid to search out Lydia to act as chaperon and to collect a wrap and bonnet for Harmony.

  Once they were outside, Lydia following behind at a discreet distance, Nathaniel felt relief wash over him. “I am pleased I will finally be able to speak to your father,” he said, loving the feel of her hand on his arm. “I have been beside myself waiting for this day to come. Finally, I will be able to ask permission to officially court you.”

  “I am happy, as well,” Harmony said, although there was a sadness to her tone. “I do hope Father will consider what I want rather than only thinking about what he desires.”

  Nathaniel stopped and turned toward her. “What is wrong?” he asked. “Do you not want me to ask?” He winked at her to soften his words, but she merely sighed.

  “I do, of course,” she replied. “I am tired is all, and Mother and I had an argument…” Her words trailed off and she looked away. “It does not matter anymore.” When she returned her gaze to him, her eyes brimmed with tears. “Promise me one thing. No matter what happens today, or the next, nothing will stop you from courting me. Promise you will always be by my side.”

  “Yes, of course,” Nathaniel said, slightly taken aback. “There is nothing in this world that can prevent us from being together.” Seeing the woman he loved in distress caused his heart to ache. “Why did you and your mother argue?”

  Harmony sighed and looked down at the ground. “She does not want us to court,” she replied. “And…something occurred while I was with Lord Miller.”

  Nathaniel’s jaw tightened. “What happened? Did he hurt you in some way?” A single tear rolled down her cheek, and his ire rose. “Tell me what the man did.”

  “As I explained before, he escorted me to a gathering at the home of Lord and Lady Windhelm. Lord Windhelm and Lord Miller had a disagreement and Lord Windhelm challenged Lord Miller to a contest in archery. After suggesting several stakes,” she swallowed visibly, “they agreed upon one.”

  “And what was at stake?” Nathaniel asked, uncertain if he wished to hear her response.

  “The winner was to receive a kiss from me. I swear to you that I did all I could to dissuade them, but they paid me no heed.”

  Nathaniel pursed his lips. “How dare they!”

  Harmony placed a hand on his arm. “It was to be innocent, I am sure, but…” She wiped her eyes. “When Lord Miller won and he came for his kiss, I explained that I had not agreed to the terms, but he did not care. Inst
ead, he grabbed me and kissed me…on the lips.”

  “In front of the entire party?” Nathaniel asked, doing all he could to keep his anger from exploding and failing miserably. None of this was her fault!

  “No, they were returning to the house, which is why I believe he took such liberties. But that is not all.”

  “Not all? What more could he have done?”

  She sighed. “I struck him across the face, which only made him angry, so he pushed me to the ground and told me that if I struck him again, he would return with a strike of his own.”

  Rage like none that Nathaniel had ever endured before welled inside him. How dare that man strike the woman he loved?

  “I am sorry.”

  Nathaniel looked at her with surprise. “Sorry? You have nothing for which to apologize. The fault is not yours. You will be my fiancée, and soon after, my bride. You do still want to be, do you not?”

  She grasped his hand. “I do. I want nothing more than to be your wife.”

  “And that is what I want. Nothing, not even your parents, will stop us from being together. From this moment on, our decisions will be what is best for us, and therefore, we must support one another. Do you agree?”

  “I do,” she said fervently. “No matter what happens, I will stand beside you.”

  He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her face. “No one will interfere with us again, this I promise you.”

  The kiss they shared was soft and expressed their affection for one another, and when it broke, her tears were gone, replaced by the lovely smile he had come to adore.

  “What will you do now?” she asked.

  “I will speak to your father and then later to Lord Miller.”

  Harmony shook her head. “Lord Miller is not worth the bother,” she said. “After you speak to Father, I will never see him again.”

 

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