“Reese dropped by and gave those to me!” Demi shouts from the kitchen. “Aren’t they adorable?”
“Yes,” I push the word through the infant-sized knot lodged in my throat.
Gavin passes by me and does a double take. “Hey.” He wraps his arms around me quickly. “It’s beautiful. I know. And I’m not gonna lie. I’m thrilled to see you so touched. You’re going to be a great aunt. I’m glad you’re excited.” He presses a dry kiss over my temple.
I give a quick nod before blinking myself back to reality. These sleepers aren’t mine. This baby won’t be mine. I don’t deserve to have a baby. I’m pretty sure the universe agrees. In fact, I know it does.
We gather around the table, and I watch as Gavin wolfs down half the pizza and Demi the other half, hardly coming up for air as she gulps mozzarella as if it were wine.
“I’m just so starving all the time,” she grunts between bites. “I told Gavin this is one no-holds-barred eating extravaganza I won’t be missing out on. I’m going to eat my way to the delivery room. You don’t mind a few extra pounds on me, do you?” She gives a playful wink to my brother.
Gavin lowers his lids, a dreamy smile spreading on his lips. “Just more of you to love.”
“I’ll be heading home to throw up now.” I go to stand, and Demi pulls me back in my seat.
“Oh, no, you don’t. I’m hearing rumors, and I’m dying to know if they’re true.” Her eyes grow wild with anticipation.
“I may not be good at a lot of things, but getting the rumor mill going seems to be my specialty.”
“You and Abel McCarthy?” Demi’s blue eyes grow in size while my brother grunts behind me.
“No, it’s not so.” I turn and smack Gavin in the chest. “Calm down, Godzilla. He’s just a friend—less than that, he’s a neighbor.” I can feel my cheeks burning with the lie. My body wants to make Abel so much more than just a friend or a neighbor.
“I’m fine with it.” Gavin raises his hands.
“You are?” both Demi and I gawk in unison.
“Yup. You can have as many friends and neighbors as you want.” He stuffs a pizza slice in his face as he laughs it off.
“Don’t choke on my account. I’d better get going before I end up killing you with the hilarious state of my love life.”
“You’re not allowed to have a love life,” he shoots right back.
“Funny how the thought managed to wipe that smug grin right off your face.”
“All right, you two.” Demi pulls me through the living room and down the hall. “Before you go, I have to show you something we’ve been working on.”
“If you’re taking me on a tour of where the magic happens, I think I’ll pass.”
“No, silly” —she swings the door open to my old room, and I gasp—“it’s the nursery.”
A mint green wonderland awaits with pastel letters that read BABY hanging over a white crib. It’s already filled to the brim with tiny furry teddy bears as adorable as can be.
“Wow.” My voice breaks as I head over and pick one up, cradling it as if it were a newborn. “I can’t believe this.” My heart wrenches because I can believe it. I had dreamed about it myself for a time.
“Gavin is whittling away at the cradle himself. You know it’s going to be the pièce de résistance of anything this nursery holds. Of course, it’ll probably never be in the nursery. I want this precious angel right next to my bed for the next year at least.” She holds her stomach and smiles down at her well-defined bump with only the pride a new mother could have.
“Yes, I’m sure he’ll do a great job.” Tears stream down my face like a flood I suddenly have no interest in staving off.
“Ugh.” Demi lets out a violent groan. “That darn morning sickness doesn’t seem to understand the concept of morning. I’d better get some ice water in me.” She takes off in a flurry of groans and moans as I glance back at my old childhood bedroom filled with the promise of new life, an irony in and of itself.
“Zoey? You in here?” Gavin gets a glimpse of my face, and his features contort. “Come here, girl.” He pulls me into those strong arms and lands a tender kiss to the top of my head. “You’re going to be great with the baby. I can already feel it. I know things are changing, but I promise, you’re as much a part of this as Demi and me.”
I sob into my brother’s arms and let him comfort me, letting him believe that my grief stems from the fact I’m feeling disenfranchised. And in a way, I am. But only because my life took a hairpin turn all of those long lonely months ago.
I had everything. My classes were going great, and I had found love or at least something that closely resembled it. I had done the unthinkable without telling the only family member I have on this planet about it. I got married on a whim to someone I believed I’d spend the rest of my days with.
My life was on the right track, or so I thought.
My baby would have been one.
I head back to the cabin, shower and instead of dressing for the date Abel is about to take me on, I pull on my coziest sweatpants, a tank top, no bra. Jamie has infiltrated my mind once again, and I’ve gone through this enough to realize that it’s useless pretending I can make it through the remainder of the day.
Jamie was my baby. My sweet angel. A testament to my short-lived, albeit messy, marriage to Holder. I lost Jamie at five months gestation. The doctors weren’t entirely sure how that happened, but assured me it wasn’t all that uncommon either. I know how it happened. Jamie’s death just so happened to coincide with my own severe heartbreak. You can’t tell me one didn’t affect the other.
I went in alone to deliver him. Holder didn’t offer to come because Holder was too busy screwing his new Mrs. Right, Arlene. Last I heard, Arlene and Holder are still together. Our divorce has long since come and gone. It used to eat at me—erode me from the inside like battery acid, and now that some time and distance have come between us, I don’t care as much as I used to. But Holder and I were close once. He made me believe in love, in people, in all the wonderful things that my parents once called their own. But he was nothing but a hypocrite, and I was a fool for believing him.
At a quarter to six like clockwork Abel gives a gentle knock over the door. I swing it open to find him freshly scrubbed, holding the scent of soap and cologne. His jeans and T-shirt look impeccable on him and yet not even the thought of running around this mountain with this beautiful man is enough to pull me from my funk.
In truth, I was never that into infants. I never had baby fever as a child, nor did I play with dolls. But that tiny being that lived in me for so short a time had infiltrated the deepest chamber of my heart, and somehow I bonded with a child I had never seen, touched, or heard. It was as if the impossible had happened and I fell in love with the least likely suspects, my own flesh and blood.
“Whoa.” His thumb rises to my cheek and gives a gentle stroke. “You don’t look too enthused to see me.” His eyes run up and down my severely underdressed body. Lucky for me, he’s in jeans. He did mention tonight’s outing would be casual. I suppose the lesson here is that I keep things literal. “Everything okay?” His gaze presses into me, probing and thick with concern. My heart melts at the thought of this gorgeous man, this very important older man caring an ounce about me or my lack of enthusiasm.
“It is now.” I draw him in by the hand and seal the door shut to the cruel world behind him. “What’s on the agenda for the evening?” He must be thinking I can’t be serious. Not with this hair. Not with this unkempt look I’ve got going on. Maybe he thinks he’s onto me—that this is all a test on my part. See if he can stand by me while I wallow in the gutter of life. Wallowing seems to be the only thing I’m good at as of late. Maybe ever.
“The agenda?” His arms pat my sides a moment as if he were about to hold me, before he comes to his senses and returns his hands to his sides. “I don’t have an agenda with you, Zoey.”
“Sure you do. You’re going to treat me like a real g
entleman should, remember? And I’m going to appreciate it like the good little girl. In fact, I might even enjoy letting you spank me with the lesson.”
“Spank?” His brows rise. “Is that where you think this is heading?”
“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I whisper through a tiny laugh. My fingers drag over his chest nice and slow. “Let me guess. Tonight, we stay in? I’m sure there are a lot of lessons a man like you can teach a girl like me.” My tongue runs a quick revolution over my lips. “Are you up for teaching a bad girl a few good tricks?”
He swallows audibly before his lids grow heavy, and I’ve got him right where I want him.
“Nope. Put your shoes on. We’re headed out this evening. We might bump into the odd soul, but pretty much no one else will be around—just you and me.”
“Put on my shoes? Are you barking out commands?” I lean in, bringing my lips just shy of his. “Why do I eat it up like candy when you’re forceful?”
A huff of a laugh expels from him. “Something tells me you like to be dominated.”
“Only by handsome attorneys turned writers.” My fingers trace out his lips as my breathing picks up. “Know of any?” Abel has the power to supercharge me without even trying.
He opens his mouth and takes a playful bite of my finger. “You taste delicious.”
“That’s what all the boys say.” I manufacture an innocent shrug. “I guess you can say I’m finger-licking good.”
I step into a pair of flip-flops as Abel leads me out the door, and I don’t bother taking my purse, phone, or even my keys. I usually let myself in by way of the spare I keep hidden under a rock near the porch. It’s Loveless. Nothing ever happens here. It’s as if man had invented a bubble of drama-free living and somehow my family and I punctured the membrane. Of course, we brought all of the drama with us. Their death was as much of a great uproar as it was a great tragedy. My parents had marred the perfect track record of a community who boasted its safety as much as it did their wealth. But I do lock the door. I’ve never bought into the bubble. I know all about how cruel life can truly be.
Abel drives us wordlessly for ten minutes into the quickly dimming woods until the road snakes around and we come out on the other side to Forbidden Falls.
“I love this place!” It’s as if I were asleep and Abel had harnessed the power to rouse me. I hop in my seat like a child until he kills the engine and race out to the edge of the crystal clear lagoon at the base of the roaring monstrosity. The twin falls are beautiful as they rain down against the backdrop of emerald ferns that makes this look more like a tropical jungle than an evergreen laden mountainside. The water takes on an aqua hue and the entire feel of this blessed by God locale has a paradise like feel. The air itself is perfumed with the sweet scent of gardenia. “It’s beautiful!” I kick off my shoes and dig my feet into the cool sandy terrain, white as a powdered donut.
“I’d agree with you, but there’s a woman in my presence that far outshines the falls.” He takes off his shirt, and a jolt runs through me at the sight of those sculpted abs. Before I know it, he’s peeling off his jeans, revealing a pair of swim trunks.
“Smooth, McCarthy. Give a woman a backhanded compliment, then make her mouth water by dropping trou. Who’s the teacher here? You or me?”
He barks out a laugh, then winces as if he just realized a grave error. “I may have forgotten to tell you swimming was involved.” He gives a little wink.
“You damn devil.” I go to swat him and he ducks, only to end up in the water, flopping onto his back and taking a few quick strokes to the falls themselves.
“Catch me if you can!”
“You’re a pig!” I laugh so hard. “I don’t even have a bra on!” I pull off my shorts and splash my way into the icy water in my tank top and underwear. A shrill cry expels from me as soon as that arctic blast reaches my waist. “You’ll have to work harder than this to get me naked!” I swim over to him, diving under the chilly water, letting it invigorate me as it pulls me out of that funk I landed myself in this afternoon. I come up for air just shy of those sculpted abs. My adrenaline kicks in ten times harder than it did when we arrived. “You’re a god, but you already know that.” The water is so deep I have to tread to keep my head from going under. I wrap my arms around Abel’s shoulders, and we both sink a few inches.
“A god, huh?” His minty breath warms me as he pulls me in by the waist and holds me up as he treads for the both of us. His hair is perfectly slicked back and glossed, water beads off his features like teardrops and there’s something otherworldly about him at the moment, undeniably irresistible. “A moment ago I was a pig.”
“Nope. You’re Poseidon, and I am your willing nymph.”
He makes a face. “Play hard to get, Zoey. You’re worth the challenge and then some.”
“How is it that I’m selling myself short if all I want is to pleasure an exquisite specimen such as yourself?” I drag my finger across his lip, and he gives a crooked grin that makes my chest explode into a thousand heart-shaped pieces. The water drips from him like a sultry song that can only be heard by a beating heart, and everything in me warms at the sight of this sublime being.
“You are a wicked man, Abel McCarthy.”
“Why is that?” He frowns as he pulls me in, and I don’t hesitate wrapping my legs around the girth of his rock hard body. An insane rush of adrenaline courses through me as my skin adheres to his. It’s as if I’ve never touched a man before. It’s as if everything I do with Abel is the very first time I’ve ever ventured in that direction.
“Because you brought me to the most beautiful place on earth, with that face and that body”—my fingers strum against his washboard of a chest, searing and electric—“and you dare expect me to act like a lady.” My breathing grows erratic. “It’s been so long since I’ve been with a man.” I suck in my bottom lip, hardly able to contain the urge to take a bite out of his neck. “You bring out the vampire in me.” And the slut, the whore, the innocent schoolgirl all wrapped in one.
His head cocks back as he barks out an aggressive laugh. “Come here.” He speeds us closer to the falls, and the water sprays us with its delicate mist. “This may not be the ideal gentlemanly date, but as soon as I found this place, I knew I wanted to come back.” He winces. “With you. I don’t know the ins and outs of what makes you tick, Zoey. But if this place can make me feel somewhat human again, then it might work for you, too.” There’s a sadness in his eyes that lasts for all of three seconds until he rotates me so that the rushing power of the falls thunders over my shoulders and it feels like heaven.
“This is amazing!” The rush of the water swallows my voice, but I can’t take my gaze from those lucent blue eyes staring back at me. “I think you’re pretty amazing, too.” I don’t hesitate. I don’t ask for permission. I go for the kiss, and Abel inches back with a mischievous look in his eyes.
“One secret, first. Tell me something new, Zoey. I want a clue into this past of yours that you insist on holding up like granite.” His eyes pierce into mine, and a spark flares through me. Abel has a way of lighting me up from the inside without even trying. It’s funny because I don’t remember that particular perk with Holder.
“It does get exhausting.” I sink a little in his arms as I think this through. It’s never easy with Abel, but it’s always worth it. “A secret.” I give a few rapid-fire blinks as droplets of water dance across my lashes. “I have never sketched a nude,” I say it stone-faced, holding back the laugh begging to tremble from me.
“A what?” His head inches back, but those strong arms of his remain secured around me like steel cables.
“A nude—you know, sans clothing.” I reach down and flick the elastic waistband on his swimming trunks. “Any way you can help me with that?” My knee rides up his tree trunk of a leg, and I can feel him shudder.
That wicked grin of his expands, but I can already tell by that mischievous look in his eyes he’s not giving in. “So y
ou want me to find you a hot girl to model for you?”
“You really are a pig.” I do my best to submerge him by the shoulders, and he laughs with his mouth just above the waterline. “I was sort of hoping you could get your brother,” I tease with a cheeky wink. “The one I haven’t met. Rumor has it, there’s yet another hot McCarthy roaming the planet, free and unattached.” I remember rumblings of the third heir to the McCarthy legal throne last summer.
Abel’s expression darkens as efficiently as if I reached into his skull and switched off the lights. “Solomon.” He forces a smile, but it doesn’t last long. “I don’t think I can help you with that one.” It comes out low, hardly audible.
“Looks like I struck a nerve.” A choking sound comes from me as I try to force an apology.
“No, it’s okay.” He moves us away from the rush of the falls, toward the fern grotto where it’s peaceful, silent in comparison to the thundering we just endured. “Sol’s a good guy. Good luck pinning him down for a sitting. He’s the forever elusive McCarthy.” His dark brows twitch to the sky, and I fight the urge to take a bite out of one. Typical me, most girls’ mouths water over abs, and here I’m craving facial hair. Hell, I’d take any part of Abel he was willing to gift me.
“Caleb’s taken.” I wrinkle my nose. “I’m pretty sure Kennedy would kick my ass if I asked her husband to drop his drawers.”
“It is for a good cause,” he teases. “The charity function was her brainchild to begin with.”
A laugh strums through me and echoes around us like a throng of happy ghosts. “So it’s a no-go on the nude, huh?”
“Perhaps not tonight.” His eyes stay trained on mine with a veiled promise of things to come, in a not-so-distant future, and that fire in my belly roars back to life. Abel is always setting me ablaze whether he knows it or not.
Beautiful Deception Page 9
