J R

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J R Page 8

by William Gaddis


  ——in the bowel, where this raw material is converted for use as . . . all kinds of raw silk . . .

  —Wait Dan you, you’re not changing that are you?

  ——this raw silk that can’t be wound and is called silk waste . . .

  —It’s this, just this resource program my wife . . .

  —Yes well I think we ought to get back to that social service lesson there Dan looks like she’s giving these youngsters a sense of real values, my boy there . . .

  ——when the silkworm starts to spin it discharges a colorless . . . that happens in the large bowel before . . . billions of dollars, and the market value of shares in public corporations today has grown to . . .

  —Getting some feedback on that enrichment program you just broadcast to half the world, Whiteback?

  —That? on the phone? No, no it’s that textbook salesman he claims he had an accident on the school property out there, he says Leroy signaled him right out that blind corner in front of a truck, one of those big asphalt trucks . . .

  —He wasn’t out there just now when they took her away, he . . .

  —Who Dan took who away, where . . .

  —To the hospital Miss Flesch they, didn’t you know what happened? He was riding her over . . .

  —Sorry to miss that, was she . . .

  —Will you just let him tell it Gibbs? And this foulmouthed whoever this was that just took over her lesson how’d he get in there.

  —Well I thought he, he tied right in didn’t he? Yes I gave him the script and . . .

  —Why didn’t you just take the ahm, take on the lesson yourself Dan you had the script didn’t you?

  —Or Vogel, you could have grabbed Vogel couldn’t you? Real masculine man’s way of putting something over we just had him on here, his voice . . .

  —Yes but you can’t use Vogel live no those ahm, those scars yes that’s why his lessons are all taped that is to say, voice over with models and visuals but his face, we got him from the New York City schools and ahm, and doing a very fine job of course but you can’t use him live . . .

  ——to buy stock from a broker as we’ll see on our field trip, now. Our volunteers have counted up twenty-four dollars and sixty-three cents so let’s look at the closing prices on the . . .

  —But the lesson, the Mozart? Did, nothing went wrong did it? that could affect the testing I mean, it’s all preprogrammed statewide . . .

  —Yes well Dan he ahm, he departed pretty severely from the curriculum.

  ——a point that’s right, when we talk this special investors’ language we don’t say dollar do we, we say . . .

  —But I heard he’s in music I gave him her script and he, she set it up right from the teacher’s guide he . . .

  —Yes well they had some ahm, some technical difficulties Dan this program specialist from the Foundation pointed out several ahm . . .

  ——railroads we could buy three shares of Erie Lackawanna, or cars? We can’t afford General Motors can we, but . . .

  —In simple straightforward terms Dan, you might say that he structured the material in terms of the ongoing situation to tangibilitate the utilization potential of this one to one instructional medium in such a meaningful learning experience that these kids won’t forget it for a hell of a long time, how’s that Whiteback.

  —Yes well that’s ahm, I think Mister Gibbs has put it quite clearly Dan of course . . .

  ——for Disney at forty and a half we’d have Mick . . .

  —What he said about superstitious Italians, you heard that.

  —I certainly did Senator, you heard that didn’t you Gibbs? Mister Gibbs?

  —Oh I certainly did Major, I . . .

  —Well what are you sitting there with a, looking like you think something’s funny about all this, you think our Congressman came all the way out here to be insulted?

  —Know just how he must feel Major, that’s your car out there Congressman? The white Cadillac with the bumpersticker that says keep God in America?

  ——or Campbell Soup at twenty-seven . . .?

  —Now look Gibbs . . .

  —Didn’t know he was trying to get out Major, that’s all I . . .

  —Look Whiteback, this has . . .

  —Wouldn’t blame him of course but . . .

  —Yes well I think what Mister Gibbs means is ahm . . .

  —All right then just tell me this, what about this report he’s leaving under God out of his proscribed openings, what about it Gibbs.

  ——or be part owners of a movie company . . .

  —Afraid I can’t help you, it sounds a little more like Dan’s . . .

  —Dan’s what I’m not talking about Dan’s anything, I’m talking about a report that you use a proscribed opening for your class like the pledge of allegiance you leave out under God, one nation under God I’m talking about all these smart remarks you’ve been making, I’m trying to have a serious discussion with these Foundation people on closed-circuit broadcast and you butt in with arms and legs flying around somebody’s eyes looking for their forehead what was all that supposed to be!

  —He was asking about one of the preSocratics, Major, the rule of love and the rule of strife in the cosmic cycle of Emp . . .

  —They didn’t come here to talk about comic cycles look at this. Just one budget item, look at this. Camera, film chains, test equipment, videotape, needed to replace obsolete equipment prevent breakdowns and lost instructional time and improve lesson quality, ninety-two thousand four hundred and you think that’s a comic cycle? The taxpayers what do you think they think it is!

  ——Someone said chewing gum? Well Wrigley at thirty-nine is a little out of our reach, let’s . . .

  —That pail Major be, be careful yes of course the ahm, that lintel over the entrance I think Mister Gibbs was explaining the lettering over the ahm, the Greek letters that is to say since of course he’s the only one who can ahm, who suggested that solution to Mister Schepperman’s unfortunate ahm, of course since he recommended Mister Schepperman to us in the first place yes or was it Mister Schepperman who ahm, who’s no longer with us that is to say yes he’s probably just ahm, probably still . . .

  —Been selling his blood for money to buy paint.

  —That’s disgusting Gibbs, sounds like somebody you’d bring in, now let’s get back to this budget . . .

  —Why because his work, because he thinks one painting’s worth more than his own . . .

  —Fine let him! Who asked him to paint it anyhow!

  —That’s the point, Major. Nobody.

  ——mond Cable or some other growth stock . . .

  —What did she say? what stock?

  —But without them where do you get art.

  —Get it? Art? You get it where you get anything you buy it, listen Gibbs don’t try to tell me in this day and age there isn’t enough around for everybody great art, pictures music books who’s heard all the great music there is, you? You read all the great books there are? seen all these great pictures? Records of any symphony you want reproductions you can get them that are almost perfect, the greatest books ever written you can get them at the drugstore your friend here selling his blood he’s crazy that’s all, like the one that just enriched the countryside here with the Mozart, pick up the paper the only time you read about them they’re making trouble for somebody, for themselves or somebody else that’s the only time you hear about them.

  —The only time you hear about anybody.

  ——that we’re ready to vote for our share in Am . . .

  —What do you mean do I go around with narcotics signing petitions painting slop writing books full of dirty words with a beard? They just want something for nothing half of them are crazy anyhow what about the one he just said he was afraid his head would fall off? Or your big name painter that cut off his ear what about him.

  —But that’s what I said, without them where do you get the . . .

  —Wait be quiet!

  —Yes well of co
urse we don’t really ahm . . .

  —Look that’s my company! Did you hear that? They’re buying a share in my company Diamond Cable did you see that? That’s my company . . .!

  —I saw it, from the show of hands it looked like they wanted to buy the . . .

  —The what Gibbs, the what. The show of hands you didn’t even see it, you’ve been standing there trying to look down her dress they bought what they wanted to buy. You saw it Whiteback?

  ——why we call it corporate democracy isn’t it class . . .

  —There did you hear that? Corporate democracy did you hear that Gibbs? This share in America it’s my company they just bought a share in my company, I didn’t get where I am slopping paint on the floor and cutting off my ear either run this school system along corporate lines Whiteback you’d have these strike threats complaints over harassment cleared up in no time, you’d . . .

  —Yes well of course Vern ahm, I don’t think Vern would . . .

  —That’s what they’re whining about isn’t it Dan? this harassment?

  —The, the yes the directives the forms, the rules, regulations, guidelines . . .

  —Yes well of course the ahm, you teachers get them from me, I get them from the District Superahm, Vern that is to say yes and he gets them from . . .

  —Start an investigation find out who’s behind it, the . . .

  —The harassment?

  —No behind the complaints, the . . .

  —And of course we all get them from the state and the state gets them from the federal education office in . . .

  —The complaints?

  —No the directives that is to say, guidelines, forms, regulations, Title Four . . .

  —Title Four’s a hell of a big investment the government’s just protecting their investment see it at the corporate level all the time, that’s what you’re . . .

  —Yes well of course we ahm, in terms of the ongoing situation in order to correlate the ahm, correlations Dan you can ahm . . .

  —The, the correlations the correlations require standardization which, which requires standards . . .

  —Go ahead Dan I’m listening, just let me get Whiteback’s phone in there . . .

  —The standards yes establishing the standards in, just in the scoring area, some of the cards they have holes punched in them that don’t make any sense at all, on these tests for instance the ones to classify potential failures . . .

  —Good, get them early. Hello? Weed out the bad risks . . . what . . .? he listened, spoke a crude syllable into the phone and laid it ranting on the desk.—Father Haight over at the parochial school letting us know they didn’t miss anything, lift your lessons right off the air and . . .

  —When a boy that boy with the cap pistol, when he scores top on the music math index and then you check up his holes and find they don’t fit . . .

  —Yes well of course he’s ahm, all we can do that is to say is to ahm . . .

  —Send him back to Burmesquik.

  —What was that Gibbs? Hyde sank back on the desk corner, where the telephone miniature continued to rant into his trouser pocket.

  —I said maybe he hears a different drummer, Major.

  —Nothing pansy about that, my boy’s as good on the drums as he is on trumpet. You’ve got a hole in the seat of your pants there too, Gibbs.

  —Too? like this boy with the cap pistol? He launched a sudden step backwards,—let him step to the music which he . . .

  —Look out!

  —My, God . . .

  —What was in it!

  —That, that Leroy that idiot Leroy . . . Whiteback snatched up a blue cuff in a quick two step,—he brought the whole pailful to show me what was stopping up the plumbing in the junior high be careful, they’re all over the floor . . .

  —But the, the junior high?

  —There’s programming for you . . . Gibbs knocked a shoe against the baseboard,—speak of tangibilitating unplanlessness where’d you pick up that language, Whiteback?

  —You, you have to speak it when you talk to them here Senator we, this way, we’ll get some paper towels in the boys’ room, Dan? Can you just reach over and, reach that? turn that thing off?

  ——treatment of waste silk, called discharging . . .

  —Still want to get together on this remote special Whiteback, put it on tape for these Foundation people after this disgraceful exhibition you put on here today we might be able to cut our losses . . .

  —I said off Dan, not up . . .

  ——beautiful colors, but the smell of this waste silk fermenting is so offensive that . . .

  —Send your remote unit out to my shelter, tie the whole thing in with what we . . .

  —Off, the knob marked off . . .

  ——improving production knowhow and eliminating waste in the cause of human better . . .

  —Leroy must have got these knobs on backwards.

  ——elimination of waste and is fitted with a muscular mechanism, or sphincter . . .

  —Out to the right, Whiteback led them in order of importance.

  —Remember . . .? said Gibbs over diCephalis’ shoulder, glancing up at the portrait as he reached to close the door behind them—when Eisenhower’s doctor told the press this country is very interested in bowel movements?

  —It’s marked boys . . .

  The door swung the word Principal hollow behind their backs, leaving the only voice chiding in miniature from the desk where the telephone lay, the only face, where nothing had happened framed high on the wall there all this time to change the expression unchanged by a boy’s lifetime at the country’s helm “focusing on ideas rather than phrasing” with the plea “let’s not forget, above all things, the need of confidence and that, of course, I think nationally, it is what do you and I think of the prospects, do we want to go buy a refrigerator or something that is going to, that we think is useful and desirable in our families, or don’t we? And it is just that simple in my mind.”

  Dead before their eyes, the clock severed another of the minutes that lacked the hour,—oh. Coming out? asked diCephalis and then, paused pulling at the lateral handle of the door under the word push,—can I ride you somewhere?

  —I’d rather you didn’t, Gibbs said holding the door opened for him, stopping to find a cigarette, to pat pockets for the rattle of matches in a box, gazing up at the Greek letters over the portal as he lit it and then back after the diminuendo of diCephalis’ retreat until that reared off in the form of a car aiming its impressively gathered speed at its crippled mate in green parked just outside the gate where with a reassuring look around the blind corner, Leroy motioned him, full career ahead, a course halted shudderingly abrupt as from the green wreck at the curb emerged the amorphous figure of its owner holding a small rolled black umbrella by its handle of simulated birch, recoiling, at that instant, from the flamboyant arrival of diCephalis on the one hand and, on the other, a mail truck from the blind corner that passed like a shot.

  —Gosh!

  —That, that’s mine, that umbrella.

  —This? Gosh . . . And it was handed over on a note of apology given cyclopean definition by the loss of a lens.

  —She took it by mistake. Not mine exactly, my little boy’s, diCephalis shouted as the roar of his engine rose.—I took it by mistake . . . and as he swerved into the open Leroy’s smile hung in the rearview mirror, down the block, through the arboreal slaughterhouse of Burgoyne Street, he kept looking up to the mirror as though it might still be there, even glancing into a wall mirror passing through the studio corridor as if to find it and reflecting no recognition for the face he saw instead, none in fact till he came on three versions of his wife on as many monitoring screens doing what, in another costume and to other music, might have been the concluding swoop of a tango, prompting the director to select a static bit of folk art so that her program ended with an endearing gesture that never left the room.

  Telephones right and left lay on desks, hung from cords, berating one anothe
r.—I’m looking for this Mister Bast . . .?

  —You are, eh?

  He backed out of the man’s way, turned by his wife’s emergency and swept in its wake back the way he had come.—Well? What did they have to say? she asked as he swung the car door open for her.

  —Who?

  —Who! And now look what you’ve done, torn my sari. Who do you think? she pulled a silk fragment from a tear in the door steel,—the Foundation people, who! About my lesson, my . . . they saw it didn’t they?

  —Well not, not exactly all of it, they . . . he drowned his own voice with a roar of the engine.

  —They what? Did they see any of it?

  —Well they, of course, yes that part about the waste, the silk waste . . .? The engine quieted, absorbed by its engagement with the gears which mounted the shift column in a rhythmical shimmy as the radio warmed.

  —Waste! Then they didn’t see, why didn’t they? Why didn’t they see all of it!

  —Well you see they, there were some technical difficulties . . . he began, shifting in the seat as the space around them took life with a Clementi trio from the radio.

  —Technical! tell me technical! Technical like you or one of that crew of Whiteback’s switching channels, technical! And turn off that noise. Noise, you’ll hide in noise any chance you get . . . look out!

  —But I called you to tell you they were there from the Foundation, he said as one of Burgoyne Street’s limbs swung past her window.—If I didn’t want them to see you would I even have called?

  —Unless you manage to kill me first . . . she ducked away from her window,—no, you knew I’d find out they’d been there even if you didn’t tell me ahead so this way you played it safe, technical! You think I can’t see what you’d do to keep them from seeing me? Because you’re afraid they might have seen some talent, they might have seen somebody creative and I might get that Foundation grant and then where would you be? I’d be in India and where would you be!

 

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