J R

Home > Literature > J R > Page 62
J R Page 62

by William Gaddis


  —Mister Eigen, Miss Flesch wants to know where the . . .

  —Look just, never mind damn it . . . his feet came down,—can’t get a damn thing done here . . .

  —I’ve already written the first act, came on behind him toward the door,—but somebody who read it said the trouble with it is my main character . . . pursued him to the dirt heaps, stopped short by the voice from the half opened door ahead.

  —It’s teachers that make the problems the kids have a ball, all the a v equipment tapes films textbooks slides all that stuff and junk, Carol? Will somebody out there pick up my phone? So when they called I told them what he told me once this product integration followthrough from cable to closed-circuit broadcast with the packaged a v software to go with it Florence did Carol pick up my phone? You have public relations whether you want them or not and I told him PRwise it can’t hurt the company imagewise the medium and the message and all that bla bla bla but he said we couldn’t get corporate support for all this publishing stuff and junk without support from the company and all they’re talking about now is budgets and all that bla bla bla, Carol? Was that the Times calling back Florence?

  —It’s Mister Beaton’s office Miss Flesch, they want . . .

  —Omigosh is Mister Eigen out there Florence? Will you see what they want?

  —They want copies of any news releases on the educational . . .

  —Florence is Mister Eigen out there? ask him where’s that news release on all this educational stuff and, Carol? Is Carol out there Florence?

  —Mister Eigen Miss Flesch wants to know if you . . .

  —Look Florence I’m standing right here, I’ll get a copy.

  —Hello Miss Bulcke? Yes Carol will bring it right in . . .

  —Anyway he said the trouble’s my main character coming right on stage and telling all about himself before anybody in the audience is interested in him at all and I . . .

  —Thank you Mister Eigen . . . and he straightened from his file drawer to watch her out the door, out of sight up the corridor where the shock of her heels alerted passing glances till blue carpeting stilled them, a door closed behind her and she rounded a corner.—Oh excuse me Governor! Gee sir I’m sorry . . .!

  —All right, ’ts all right . . . he listed, gathered way again.

  —Gee I’m sorry sir . . . she backed off, backed as far as the sentry desk—Miss Bulcke here’s this news release you just . . .

  —Yes thank you Carol, good morning Governor we didn’t expect the pleasure of seeing you out of the hospital today, is . . .

  —Won’t be a pleasure for some people, anybody here yet?

  —Mrs Selk is right here in Mister Beaton’s office sir and . . .

  —Blaufinger here yet?

  —No sir . . . she got ahead of him for the door,—General Blaufinger called to say he . . .

  —When he shows up let him wait in the board room, Stamper gets here bring him right in.

  —Yes sir. Excuse me, Mister Beaton . . .?

  —But he didn’t hit me ma’am he simply shook me by the lapels and, excuse me . . .

  —Excuse me Mister Beaton the news releases you wanted and Governor Cates is here . . .

  —I said I wanted him arrested and put in prison.

  —Usual gracious self Zona, what poor bastard you putting in prison now.

  —What poor bastard, the poor bastard who’s been sneaking around selling paintings to ninnies to hang in office lobbies while he lives on my money and Beaton sits here with his thumb in his ass and blubbers about a lawsuit.

  —Excuse me sir you can sit right here when I, move this . . . he’d parted his paired shoes and got round his desk to struggle the folds of fur into an armload and start across the room with it.

  —Beaton if you can’t carry it don’t drag it.

  —Not a damn carnival worker Zona, expect him to carry a tent like that Beaton just sit down and . . .

  —If he wasn’t such a little pissant he would have charged this ape with assault and put him in prison where he belongs. You just said he grabbed your lapels and shook you Beaton, isn’t that assault?

  —Legally yes ma’am with competent witnesses but it seemed more prudent . . . he’d reached his desk again and paused to get breath,—in light of the unpleasant publicity that could result it seems more prudent simply to start an action rising from your original agreement, with private detectives on the lookout for him if he should appear in this vicinity and attempt to . . .

  —I’ll tell you where he is right now, he’s breaking into my Saybrook house and stealing every painting of his he can lay his hands on and I want . . .

  —Told you not to store them up there in the first place Zona, dampness ruin all the damn frames now Beaton sit down and be quiet, some things I want you to clear up before this board meeting.

  —Just hold your water John, he can clear them up when he’s cleared this up, I want . . .

  —Zona don’t give a damn what you want, Beaton’s not your black girl he’s secretary and general counsel of this company and he can’t drop everything just to . . .

  —Yes Beaton what about her, I can’t be expected to get along without her this way and I want . . .

  —Yes ma’am Deleserea, we’ve located her and I have a call in to Judge Ude’s office to arrange bail but she refuses to cooperate regarding the diamond brooch and it appears we . . .

  —What diamond brooch, what are you babbling about now.

  —When you reported her missing ma’am, I understood you to connect her disappearance with a diamond brooch you believed she . . .

  —Don’t be ridiculous Beaton I found that in my steam cabinet weeks ago, if that’s all they’re holding her for I want her back by lunchtime.

  —As a matter of fact ma’am she was originally arrested at a bus stop and charged with soliciting, it’s that charge we intend . . .

  —Beaton don’t be ridiculous who would want to hump Deleserea, you just get the lead out of your ass and have her back by lunchtime.

  —Yes ma’am in, incidentally have you notified the insurance company the brooch has been recovered . . .

  —That’s your job Beaton I don’t know what makes you think . . .

  —Yes ma’am but of course I was unaware that . . .

  —By God Zona that’s not his job his job right now’s this board meeting and if you want to bring up your black girl you . . .

  —You brought her up I didn’t, and you brought me all the way in here this morning to do something about Boody’s shares didn’t you?

  —Wasn’t for social reasons Zona you can be damn sure of that, talk about this damn fool law lowers the age of minors from twenty-one to eighteen could give Boody and all these young hooligans the right to make contracts and all the rest of it, safe enough in jail right now but if this tender offering for Diamond doesn’t go through while you’re still her guardian no telling what she . . .

  —Excuse me sir I thought you must have seen the pictures in the paper of Miss ah, of Boody’s . . .

  —If you expect to see those two hundred thousand shares go the way you want them this morning John you can just hold your water. The agreement Beaton drew up for me with this painter has seven years to run and if you think I broke my ass for a corner in his work so he could go out and peddle it on the side while he’s living on my money Beaton how much did the company pay for that atrocity.

  —Twelve thousand dollars ma’am the actual purchase was . . .

  —Would have been a damn fool to turn it down too, seen monkeys do better.

  —If he thinks he can get prices like that on his own he can kiss mine, isn’t that right here in the agreement Beaton?

  —Yes ma’am not ah, yes not precisely in those words of course but . . .

  —Both cheeks, if he tries it again while this agreement’s in effect I’ll dump his work at prices that wouldn’t open a pay toilet and he’ll stand outside trying to sell one till his back teeth float. Where’s that twelve thousand now Beaton,
if it’s anybody’s it’s mine and I want . . .

  —Yes ma’am of course when you recovered the painting itself we sought to recover the purchase price for the company by locating his bank account and attaching the balance but it appears to amount to less than eight thousand dollars, I understand he bought a ah, an abandoned roller coaster which of course we intend to attach as soon as we can locate it but . . .

  —Beaton by God Zona you think I left that hospital to come in here and attach roller coasters? Got Blaufinger coming to sit in on this board meeting’ll want to get things cleaned up in Gandia, Stamper out there wants to know what the devil’s holding up his pipeline consortium, peace group breaking windows down at the bank and now this damn nonsense in the papers about Typhon grabbing the education market with this Diamond tender hanging fire and you’re attaching abandoned roller coasters? See all this Beaton . . .? Streamers of newspaper were appearing from inside folds,—monopoly, the medium and the message, tell me what the devil it’s all about?

  —Last night’s paper yes sir apparently this news release sent out by Mister Davidoff just before he . . .

  —Don’t sit there waving it give it to me.

  —And stop changing the subject Beaton I want to know how that ape got in here and sold you ninnies that painting in the first place.

  —Yes ma’am I believe he was discovered by Mis . . .

  —You’re telling me who discovered him Beaton? when I found his big one man show with one painting sold and offered half off for the lot they grabbed it because he didn’t have a pot to piss in, don’t you dare try to tell me he was discovered by miss anybody.

  —No ma’am I simply meant the purchase of this particular painting, it was arranged by Mister Davidoff who seems to have been the only person in actual contact with . . .

  —I want him arrested too.

  —What the devil’s all this Beaton don’t make head or tail of it, damn nonsense about an iceberg and a two edge sword.

  —Yes sir I gather the press had a similar reaction and when they queried our public relations department for particulars . . .

  —Department? Thought he was the whole department.

  —No sir apparently he’d begun to engage in a little empire building by hiring a woman he described as having a topflight record in curriculum management a few days before he . . .

  —What the devil’d he want her for, they got anybody else in that department?

  —No sir only a writer, appar . . .

  —Well who the devil’s this woman.

  —According to the personnel file sir she was recommended by Duncan and Company’s head of sales a Mister Skinner in connection with this book project, I have the memorandum here on the . . .

  —Don’t sit there waving it give it to me, told you one business we’re not going broke in’s the damn book business didn’t I? Looked over their operating statement paying ten percent for overhead, ten for their money, ten for warehousing ten for sales and jobbers ten for these damn royalties, bookstore steps in takes fifty off the top sends back what it don’t sell leaves you with a wish in one hand and here, what’s this their list?

  —Those are the titles on their spring trade list yes sir, they . . .

  —Who the devil wrote balls in the margin here, crossed out and somebody wrote in, what is it? Round objects . . .?

  —Who do you think wrote balls in the margin, I’d like to know who crossed it out.

  —I, I did ma’am I substituted round ob . . .

  —Well who the devil’s Round and what does he object to.

  —Beaton if you cross out something of mine again I’ll have you by the round objects if you’ve got any, these writers Vida collects follow her around with their noses so far up between the cheeks they can’t see what they’re putting on paper, look at that list.

  —Yes ma’am but the, I agree the titles sound somewhat unpromising but the . . .

  —See what you can get for a nickel in a used book store why any damn fool wants to add another one to the heap, cut out that ten percent royalty these scoundrels grab they might see a little daylight.

  —Yes sir however in this case aside from their reliable textbook area, the majority of titles on the Duncan backlist appear in most college syllabuses and were originally negotiated on most satisfactory terms paying next to no royalties on reprints. I assume this was a determining factor in this Skinner person’s decision to set up his own company to buy up the Duncan stock if some arrangement can be made with the bank as corporate trustee following your wish to . . .

  —Only damn reason we took it on was a favor, we’re not in the book business we’re not in the damn public relations business either, we’ve got Frank Black’s office down there handing out canned editorials to every hick paper in the country’s all we need and I want anybody who had anything to do with this medium and the message damn foolishness out of here, hear me? Already told them down at the bank any damn fool who shows up wants to go broke in the book business give him a hundred thousand dollar cash option on this Duncan stock, thirty days to raise it and the balance on future earnings if they’ve got any, can’t waste any more damn time on it if Vida don’t like those terms she can get a new banker.

  —Vida’s a silly bitch, raising a million dollars to preserve the spots where our great American works of art were created she just wants her picture in the paper with those red rimmed . . .

  —Well by God Zona . . .

  —Every writer and halfass American painter and composer she can dig up preserving a lot of filthy garrets so she can get her picture in the paper with those red rimmed eyes staring out like two angry . . .

  —By God Zona that any worse than you on television taking every damn fool in the country on that tour of your childhood home? Get it declared a national landmark and you’ve got a whole corps of army engineers down there in Virginia right now diverting a river to save it, had to move a whole damn town and you talk about Vida’s picture in the paper, now what’s all the rest of this . . . the newspaper streamers passed in a flourish,—even got that damn Foundation in here.

  —Yes I saw that sir, of course the speculation relating your interests in Typhon and Diamond Cable to your connection with City National is hardly a surprise, even though the suggestion that your bank directors who also serve on the Foundation board encouraged expanded Foundation support for closed-circuit school tele . . .

  —Damn bunch of sissies what they are, saw something in the papers while I was in the hospital about this little wop up in the legislature tabling your bill on mandatory closed-circuit broadcast for schools and they wet their damn pants, just some cheap construction scandal but they’re all so damn scared of being brought up before some damn committee hearing they all ran the other direction, pulled the Foundation right out of school television and put it behind these damn public service community stations, ever see one Beaton? Programs every damn one of them about pollution or strip mining or some damn bunch of Indians nothing but a lot of damn leftwing propaganda and I want this little wop on one side of the fence or the other, sits up there calling the shots on this state banking committee and tables this school television bill to wait us out on the suburban banks see what we’ll come up with.

  —Yes sir of course I had no reason to feel he might be mistrusted on the mandatory closed-circuit bill at the time he was recommen . . .

  —Damn it Beaton don’t own them you can’t trust them, I told you before I went in the hospital this last time I wanted a full report on that whole situation and now I read about him mixed up with some other wop in a construction scandal just be quiet Zona . . .

  —Yes while Beaton sits here with his thumb in his . . .

  —No sir I have the report right here in fact Governor and as far as Mister Pecci goes sir, it offers what can only be called an embarrassment of riches. Apparently Mister Pecci’s wife recently . . .

  —Get to it later if we have time, all I want clear before this meeting’s how much his shenanigans and t
he rest of this nonsense in the paper had to do with a class action against Diamond Crawley said something about. This whole Diamond tender’s taken one hell of a lot of putting together and I don’t want to see some damn nuisance suit interfering with it.

  —A, a what sir? I’m sorry sir I don’t . . .

  —A class action damn it Beaton, lawyer don’t know what a class action is? Crawley said you and he’d discussed it some talk of settling now what the devil was there to it.

  —Oh yes sir no, no that happened some time ago but I believe what Mister Crawley was referring to was a threatened stockholder’s suit by, another inspiration of Mister Davidoff’s sir, to have class six J threaten suit against the company as an exercise in corporate democracy in action I believe he described it, he . . .

  —Damn it Beaton what are you talking about, class six J . . .

  —Yes sir the class of schoolchildren Mrs Joubert brought in to buy a share of Diamond Cable stock as their share in America you may recall sir, she . . .

  —She’s a ninny.

  —Just be quiet Zona what do you mean threatened a lawsuit.

  —Always said Emily was a ninny, had her little pissants running all over the boardroom . . .

  —No Mrs Joubert seemed quite unaware of this so-called suit sir, Mister Davidoff seems to have arranged it as a game to give the children a looksee at the system I believe he put it, a few corporate dollars to play with . . .

  —What in hell do you mean corporate dollars to play with!

  —Yes sir before I learned of any of this sir Mister Davidoff had settled this so-called suit for cash from his public relations budget, he was thoroughly unpleasant when I . . .

  —Cash damn it Beaton how much cash!

  —Eighteen hundred some odd dollars sir, he . . .

  —Some odd dollars by God you can get every one of those some odd dollars right back out of his pay, damned . . .

  —Yes sir but I thought you were aware he no longer . . .

  —What damned excuse he could have for a stunt like this . . .

  —Frankly sir with this and the attentions he gave her class for an Annual Report feature I felt he was trying to make an impression on Mrs Joubert . . .

 

‹ Prev