“Whatever that means.” I could picture the words on his lips, but I’d never understand why it mattered so much.
Rays of sunshine streaked between the clouds, pinging drops of warmth on my face. I read the same sentence five times. Finally, I chucked the book onto my bed. It was pointless. Everything felt like it was piling up on me, a steady stream of boulders on my back until I couldn’t take one more ounce of pressure.
Tomorrow I’d be on a plane back to Indiana for Thanksgiving break, but how could I face my own mother? Deep down I knew I had to hear her out. I’d pushed it back for too long, sticking to superficial topics in our calls and emails. I had to deal with her sometime.
The door banged open and Shanda breezed into the dim room like a whirlwind, alive and alight with energy. “Lucy, get up and quit this moping around. You look like I feel.”
“Uh-oh, what happened?”
“Nothing much, Daddy’s taking me to the Bahamas. Same old, same old.” She threw her jacket on the nearest butterfly chair and rummaged through her closest. “What a great time for a vacation, don’t you think?” Her usual sarcastic tone was laced with a sour undercurrent
“For Thanksgiving?” I popped down from my perch. “What’s gotten into you, Kevin busy tonight?”
Her dark figure flitted back and forth in front of me, dumping clothes and makeup into her suitcase. “Yeah, busy with Monica . . . and I’m free, forever. So tonight we celebrate.”
“What happened?” My heart sank for the tough girl who might not be so tough after all. “Are you okay?”
“Please, I’m fine.” She wrestled a bikini from the bottom of her drawer. “It’s you who’s falling to pieces.”
“Thanks for that.” I crossed my arms at her. “Hey, wait a minute, don’t try to change the subject.”
She buzzed back to her closet, her shoulders slumping. “Okay, I caught him kissing Monica and dumped him. There, you happy now?”
“What a jerk.” I squeezed her arm, and her almond eyes softened. “I’m so sorry, Shanda, you deserve a lot better than that.”
“You’re right, I do.” She hoisted the black and white bikini over her head like a trophy. “I deserve a beach party.”
“Not exactly what I meant, but okay.” I grabbed my pink suitcase out of my closet and started packing right alongside her.
“I know what you mean, but I don’t want to think about it.” Her lined expression broke into a grin. “I’ve just been dumped, and the beach is the perfect place to celebrate life without boys, right?”
“Absolutely.” I paused my packing to look at her. “But technically you dumped him.”
“How right you are.” Shanda danced over to me and grabbed my hands, twirling us both around the room.
“Hey, I wish I could go to the Bahamas instead of going home.” I laughed as we spun around. If only I could celebrate a life without boys right along with her. But I wasn’t ready to give up just yet.
The notes of Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds trilled from my bedside table, the display flashing Bryan’s name.
Shanda shot me her patented evil eye, but went right back to her suitcase.
On the last ring I answered the call. “What’s up?”
“I can’t take this any more.” Bryan’s words tumbled out, as breathy as if he’d just jogged a 5K or something. “I thought it’d be best if I just gave you your space, but this is killing me.”
My lips curled up. Didn’t mean to make the guy desperate. Well, okay, a little desperate. I fumbled for the right words, but nothing came out.
“I guess I deserve it. Listen, I’m sorry about the science lab, I was way out of line. I wanted to get with you before Thanksgiving, but I’m leaving for Pennsylvania tonight. Can we meet up after break?” His voice cracked on the last words, an uncertain note that melted me down to my toes.
“How’s a girl supposed to say no to that?” There was more sweetness in my voice than I intended. “I guess you could pick me up at the airport. If you want to.” I twirled a strand of hair around my finger.
Shanda waltzed up to me, batting her eyelashes. Why couldn’t I just play it cool? At least my roomie seemed more like herself again.
“Great. I’ll be there. Just text me with the details.” His voice brightened like I told him he just won the lottery. “Call me over break if you need me, anytime.”
“I will.” I hung up wishing I could see him before he left. If only I hadn’t frozen him out for so long.
Chapter 26
Dad’s salt and pepper Einstein hair stuck out above the mob crowding the airline gate. My breath caught in my throat when I saw Mom wasn’t next to him. I exhaled the biggest sigh of relief in the history of the world, bobbing and weaving around the human clusters standing between me and my dad.
“Sweetie, you look so grown up.” He wrapped his big-bear arms around me, ruffling my hair. Some things never changed. “Montrose must be good for you.”
“Most of the time.” I bit back any hints of sarcasm in my tone. The less he knew the better. “I missed you, Dad.”
“Me, too, Monkey.” His eyes glistened behind his turtle-shell frames, as if he wanted to say more. “C’mon, let’s get those bags of yours.”
“Just one this time.” I followed him to baggage claim, his arm slung over my shoulders.
“Really? That’s hard to believe.” A laugh rumbled from his chest. The Dad of my childhood still stood beside me, even if everything else in my life changed constantly.
The baggage carousel spilled over with luggage, a mosaic of colors blurring into its own pattern. Dad plucked my pink suitcase from the baggage-go-round and, like a twelve-year-old again, I trailed him to the parking lot.
When I’d picked out that bright pink suitcase four years ago I’d filled it with jewelry, dolls, and dress-up clothes. Now it had traveled all the way to New York with me and back again, scuffed and frayed from the trip. If that bag could take a beating and keep going, couldn’t I do the same? I knew I had to.
“Hop in, monkey.” Dad hoisted my suitcase in the back of the van, then opened my door. “I’m surprised you’re letting me get away with calling you that.”
“That’s the last one.” I wagged my finger at him as he climbed behind the driver’s seat. “I only hung upside down on the monkey bars after you took me to the circus.”
“Ahem, every year from the time you were seven until you were twelve.” He started the car and headed to the exit, punching some buttons on the radio.
“All right, you had your fun. No more monkey talk.” Still, a teeny smile escaped.
“We’ll see.” He laughed his gentle, rumbly laugh again, turning up the radio. “It’s one of your favorite songs.”
The sweet refrain of Mrs. Robinson played from the speakers. “I just love the Beatles.”
“Didn’t we settle this years ago?” Dad shook his head as he steered our new Mercedes SUV onto the highway. “It’s not the Beatles. It’s Simon and Garfunkel.”
“No way.” I pumped up the volume until the bass vibrated the speakers. “It sounds like the Beatles.”
“I think you can take the word of someone who was actually alive when the song came out.”
I tapped the title into my phone. “Then they covered it from the Beatles, because it’s all over the Internet that it’s the Beatles.”
“And the Internet is so accurate.”
The DJ came on after the song ended, announcing Mrs. Robinson by Simon and Garfunkel. “No way, that can’t be right.”
“You’re so stubborn, just like your mother.” His shoulders stiffened, like he didn’t mean to mention her.
I turned down the volume until the car was silent. “Why didn’t Mom come with you?”
“She had a lot of shopping to do with Paige. There’s a big dinner tomorrow, you know.” A muscle in his jaw twitched as he kept his eyes on the road.
I chewed on my lip. “You know what I mean. Why is she avoiding me?”
“She doesn�
�t want to deal with what she did.” The life drained from his voice. “She wants everything to be happy and normal.”
Like mother, like daughter. “Does that mean you know?”
I stared across the car at him. Slowly, he nodded, as if the truth weighed him down as much as it did me. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you when I found out, after James left. I don’t know if it was the right choice or not, but it’s the choice we made, that I made. I chose to forgive her, to work on our marriage, keep the family together. It’s been hard, but I try to forget about it as much as I can. You should really think about doing the same.”
“Forgive her? Yeah, right.” The word resonated in my mind, as if somehow it were possible. Maybe for my dad, who elevated himself to sainthood with all his forgiveness talk. But not me, I had a long way to go to reach Mother Teresa status.
He cleared his throat. “It took me awhile to get there, and a few compromises. But it was worth it. My family is the most important thing to me.”
“I know, Dad.” I wanted to pat his shoulder, but I had to know. “What kind of compromises exactly?”
“Well, marriage counseling for starters.” He flicked on his blinker, exiting the highway. “But the biggest was about Nexis.”
“Really?” I held my breath, waiting for him to continue.
“Before I found out about James, I considered myself neutral on the subject of Nexis. I believed her when she said it was the best way to get into Yale. After they kicked him out just because he wasn’t in the Seer’s lineage, I realized what Nexis really was. A secret society, one your mother’s been a part of for years. And I told her I would leave if she tried to make you or Paige join Nexis.”
“Really? I appreciate that.” I exhaled softly, just to be sure I heard him right. “So Grandma and Grandpa started all of this?”
He shook his head as he stopped at the light. “Not just them. It’s been generations of Talbots. They’ve been brainwashing their children for years. Which is why I wouldn’t let them do it to you.”
I glared across the console at him. “So all that talk about Nexis and Yale was you guys backing off?”
“That was mostly your mom’s attempt to have her way.” He shrugged, the corners of his mustache lifting. “Like I don’t know my own daughter. It was all reverse psychology, sweetie. I let it go because I knew it would completely backfire.”
“No way.” I snorted out a laugh. “You were right about that.” But something in my heart clenched. I didn’t want to be a pawn in anyone’s game, especially not between my own parents. “But how could you let me think all those things about Nexis and Yale?”
“Sweetie, I don’t care what school you go to or what group you join.” At the next stoplight he turned to me with those teddy-bear eyes. “I just want you to find some direction, to find your calling.”
“Thanks, Dad. That means a lot to me.” Relief washed over me. “I want that, too.”
“Growing up is hard, but part of being an adult is learning to let go, learning to forgive. It’s freeing, even.” He reached across the seat and ruffled my hair again.
I lifted my eyes to the clouds, a silent thought stuck to my lips.
Could I really forgive someone who had lied to me for so long?
In an instant, the sky changed.
A bright whiteness lit up the car like a burst of controlled lightning, suddenly dimming as the man from the hospital appeared on my left.
His golden eyes warmed my face.
“Lucy, it’s a hard choice, one of the hardest you’ll have to face. You must choose the light for yourself, or the darkness will consume you.”
I heard his words clearly, but his mouth never moved. As if the message was only meant for me. “I don’t understand.”
“You will, child. When the time is right, you will.” His eyes expanded to ten times their size.
Then, in a blink, they transfigured into a thousand golden butterflies that fluttered away, dissipating back into the clouds.
And the sky was normal again, cars buzzing along the highway toward the horizon.
“I know it doesn’t make any sense, but we’re doing the best we can.” Dad’s voice filtered into my ears, breaking my trance.
“I know, Dad. I just wish things were different.” My words eeked out softly, as if the angel would come back any second. In my soul, the world made more sense when he was here. But when he left, it scrambled my brain with layers of questions. Would any of my visions ever make sense?
* * *
“C’mon, Pinky.” Dad rolled my suitcase up the brick path to our yellow-sided home, shadows of dread hovering as dusk settled in. To me, this little tidbit Dad offered about generations of Nexis members on Mom’s side was all brand new information. She had lived with her secrets for years, only admitting the truth after James found out. How could I really trust her? Had they even tell Paige yet? Those pesky thoughts niggled at my dread.
Dad swung open our red front door, clunking my suitcase onto the carpet. Mom’s dark head hovered over the sink, a potato in her hand. Her face lit up when she saw me, and she dropped the potato with a thump.
“Lucy, my girl, there you are.” She dried her hands and rushed up to me, damp fingers wrapping me in a hug. “How I’ve missed you. Sometimes I wish we’d never sent you to that school. It’s so far away.”
I hugged her back with stiff arms, almost robot-like. The warmth I’d hoped for didn’t materialize, from her or from me. As if we both knew what was coming. “I’ve missed you guys, too.”
“Natalie, let the girl get situated. She’s had a long flight.” Dad lugged Pinky soundlessly down the carpeted hall.
Still Mom clung to me, as if she couldn’t let go. “I just hope you know how much I love you.”
I sucked in a shaky breath. “I know, Mom. I love you, too.”
When she released me, tears sparkled in her eyes. “If I could change the way I handled things, I would. But I want you to know that I love James just as much as I love you and Paige. Your dad loves him, too. He’s a good man.”
She waved her hand in front of her face, as if she were swatting at a fly. “But let’s not worry about this now. You get freshened up for dinner.”
“Sure, Mom.” I mumbled as she planted a kiss against my hair. I trudged to my room, shutting the door with a bang. How could she just dismiss everything away with a swat of her hand? As if it was no big deal that James was only my half-brother, and still lost in Europe.
The flowers on the wallpaper leered at me, the pink polka-dot duvet cover mocking me like they had known all along. I was such a child for believing otherwise. I flopped onto the bed, freshly washed with snuggly softener as if it were some kind of peace offering that could make up for years of lies. I wish.
A timid knock at the door nudged me from my self-inflicted agony. “Come in, Paige.”
My little sister peeked her dark head through the doorframe. “Hey, you. It isn’t that bad being home, is it?” She plucked a tissue from the box, handing it to me.
I dabbed at my eyes. “No, it’s just Mom. We’re sort of feuding.”
“Yeah, I got that.” She plopped down next to me, flipping her hair over her shoulder. “What do you think?”
“They let you go ombre at thirteen?” The entire bottom half of her raven locks were streaked with caramel and gold highlights.
“Tweens even get a discount.” Her amber-brown eyes lit up as she fingered the ends of her hair. “My own little rebellion.”
I curled my lips at her. “I can appreciate that.”
Her baby-doll smile faded fast. “Listen, you should try to make nice with Mom and Dad. I heard them arguing the other day about yanking you out of Montrose.”
I jerked back, my heart in my chest all of a sudden. “Even after Jake stalked me all the way to campus? No way, I couldn’t stand being back at school with him and Becca. I bet everyone still thinks I’m psychotic, as if they never knew me at all. I’ve got enough lies to deal with right now.
”
Her tiny hand covered mine. “I’m really sorry. I should’ve never given him your new number. If I had known ...”
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t make him come to New York.” I squeezed her palm. “Just try to keep them off my back, will you?”
She squeezed back. “You got it, sis.”
I watched as she tiptoed out of my room, leaving the door open. It couldn’t be easy for Paige, having a supposedly “psychotic” sister. She was made of tougher stuff than I ever realized.
I padded to the bathroom, splashing water on my face and applying a quick touch up to my foundation.
As soon as I reached the kitchen, Mom handed me the salad bowl. I set it down and slid into my chair, sensing my stubborn streak waking up inside me. Better to stay out of the way and not make things worse.
At dinner I quietly munched my salad, our traditional pre-Thanksgiving dinner, to leave room for heavy feasting tomorrow. I answered every one of her questions with a simple yes or no, until Mom slammed her bowl on the table.
“Why are you being so sullen?”
“I’m just trying to be polite.” I shoved another forkful of lettuce in my mouth.
“Right.” She sniffed, her knuckles white on the bowl. “You’re just trying to say as little as possible.”
“Maybe so.” I munched on my tomato slice, desperately trying to tame the spurts of anger buzzing through my nerves.
“That’s not good enough.” She pried her clutches from the bowl. “We need to talk about your hostility issues. I don’t know if I want you to go back to Montrose.”
“My hostility issues? I’m not the one slamming bowls onto tables. My issues have nothing to do with Montrose.” I didn’t dare meet her gaze, staring at Paige instead. “They’d only be worse if I came home and you know it.”
“Maybe so.” She cocked her head, obviously mocking me now. “But then we could at least work things out.”
“Yeah right, Mom.” Electricity lit up my insides until I practically turned incandescent. I couldn’t take much more of this. “You think I would forgive you if you forced me to move home? Back to a school with my ex who spreads lies about me and stalks me five states away. How could that possibly help?”
The Nexis Secret: YA Fantasy Romance (The Nexis Angel Series Book 1) Page 25
