“I mean no contact, at least until I figure out what their next move is.” His jawline hardened as he pulled into the parking lot.
“Really? If that’s what you want, then why are you picking me up at the airport?”
“So I could tell you in person.”
How he could switch from gentle giant to cold robot in an instant, I’d never understand. Inside, all my muscles seized up, but I willed myself not to shut down. This time, I had to be the bigger person, the honest one. If only to show him I was ready for more.
“I don’t want to stay away from you. And I don’t know if I can.” I bit into my cheek, willing my voice not to wobble, the tears to stay at bay. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. What if something goes wrong?”
“Believe me, it’s the last thing I want to do. But it may be the only way to protect you right now.” He shifted the car into park, and hopped out in one instantaneous motion. “Laura and Brooke are full Guardians. They know how to protect you.”
“That’s just perfect.” I fumbled with the door handle, unpacking my stiff legs from the car seat as if they were molded there. I didn’t want to move, didn’t want to accept this strange alternate reality I’d walked back into. But his jaw was set, and he was back in marble-mode as he launched himself out of the car. “I really hate this. And there’s no way I can change your mind?”
“Not this time. I can’t help but think Will’s vendetta is more about me than about you.” His breath puffed out a blast of steam. “I hate it, too, but this is the best thing I can think of to keep you safe.”
He rolled my suitcase to the sidewalk and we slowly fumbled our way down the cobblestones in the dark. Suddenly he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. The suitcase clattered to the pavement behind us.
“You better figure this out, because I won’t last long.” I squeezed his waist, holding on for dear life. “I’ll miss you.”
“Me, too.” He tilted my chin up, until his eyes found mine. Fireflies swarmed again as he pressed his lips against my forehead. “More than you know.”
Too quickly he pulled away, turning his back on me and practically sprinting down the sidewalk. I stared after his loping shadow until he disappeared, feeling more alone than ever. All of my hopes and dreams disintegrated into the dark.
Chapter 28
The days were colder now, the crisp scent of snow tingeing the air. A lingering chill hovered in the distance Bryan put between us, as the month changed from November into December. I huddled into my soft comforter on my favorite window-perch. No matter how hard I tried to push him out of my mind, he lingered in the corners, waiting for me in my most vulnerable moments. I thought it would be enough to know I meant something more to him than friends, but I couldn’t take it any more.
On a cold Sunday night, I knew I had to call him. We just had to work out some other arrangement, because this was killing me inside. After months of trying not to like this guy and failing, I needed to admit defeat. I couldn’t deny my feelings any more. And I deserved some kind of resolution—relationship or no.
I dug my cell out of my new winter purse, a peace offering from Mom. Four rings later it went to voicemail, so I worked up the nerve to text him. Whatcha up to tonight? Maybe we could hang out somewhere that no one knows us. Yep, I was getting more than a little desperate.
Tempting, but I’m busy tonight. Maybe another time if I can swing it.
“How could he be busy tonight?” I punched the end button, chucking my cell phone onto the bed. It bounced and floated back to the bedspread with a happy little thud. The nerve of this guy. “He’s just determined to keep this stupid distance pact. Pathetic.”
“Enough of this. You’ve got to snap out of it, girl.” Shanda switched off her desk lamp and grabbed her purse. “Let’s get out of here so maybe you’ll stop moping.”
“I’m not moping, I’m thinking.” I rolled over, only to catch her rolling her eyes. I grabbed my purse, too. “Fine, you’re right. I’m starting to annoy myself now. What’d you have in mind?”
She dabbed on some berry lip gloss. “I’m in the mood for a good mocha. Let’s go to the coffee shop.”
“Coffee sounds good.” I stared at my phone, as if sheer will could make it ring, then dumped it in my purse. “Anything to get me out of this dorm room.”
We bundled up and scuttled downstairs to the lobby where Monica, Laura, and a few other girls played a game of Mafia. I waved to Laura, opening my mouth to invite her, but Shanda clamped a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t,” she whispered in my ear. “I don’t want Monica tagging along.”
I shut my trap in an instant.
As if she had dog ears, Monica flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. “You girls headed out?”
I glanced at Shanda, whose lips clenched in a straight line. “Yep, just wanted to get out of the dorm for a little while.”
Monica nodded at me, a strange shadow creeping around her shoulders. Her lips curled up, twitching in an odd little half-smile. “Have fun at the coffeehouse, just be back by curfew.”
“No prob.” I scurried after Shanda.
“Thanks, Mom,” she muttered under her breath.
At the front door I turned around for one last glance. The dark cloud had congealed into a serpentine mist hovering behind Monica, contrasting against her blonde hair. Almost like the shadows I’d seen around Will.
“Did I accidentally say where we were going?”
Shanda shook her head at me.
“Weird.” A chill crept up my spine. Maybe Bryan was wrong, and Nexis had no plans to leave us alone. “I think you’re right about that girl.”
Cold night air blasted me as I opened the door. I zipped my black coat all the way up to the scarf at my neck and followed Shanda to her cute little red Fiat.
“Duh, you don’t have to tell me that.” She hopped in, barely waiting for me to close the door before she zipped out of the parking lot. With a flourish, she zigzagged her way in and out of Riverdale traffic so fast it swirled my stomach into mush. The lights of the city blurred past, a twinkle of dots and sparks. She veered into the coffee shop parking lot in record time.
A familiar shape emerged from the shadows, and there he was, walking out of the coffee shop—with a brassy blonde.
“Is that Bryan?” Shanda gasped. Her arm flew to the door handle.
“Don’t.” I clawed at her hand, my nails clutching her leather gloves. I had to see it with my own eyes, exactly why he blew me off.
She turned to me, and her eyes softened. “Don’t you want to know what he’s doing here, who the girl is?”
“I’m pretty sure I already know, but I want to see it for myself.” I slumped forward in the front seat, sticking my nose as close to the windshield as humanly possible. “Because that girl isn’t his sister. It’s Colleen.”
I watched the scene play out in front of me like a movie scene. Before he got to his car, she tugged on his coat. He stopped and said something to her she didn’t look too happy about.
“What the—?” Shanda screeched, then clapped her hand over her mouth. He flinched, turning in our direction, and we slid down in our seats. “Sorry.”
It didn’t matter, her words barely registered, because all my energy fixated on one thing.
Colleen tugged on his coat again, and the blood pumped through my veins faster and faster with each inch she got closer to him. Then she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. He pulled away, but not fast enough.
Tears beat against my eyelids so hard I didn’t know what hurt worse.
“Was that on the cheek, or did that girl actually kiss your man?” Shanda’s snarl was indignant. “I have half a mind to go up there and punch that floozy.”
Then in a matter of seconds, Bryan tucked Colleen into his car and they drove off.
“Now she’s leaving with him?” Shanda’s eyes were wide in the darkness.
The dam burst, and water gushed down my cheeks. �
�Let’s just go home.” My words were a sob, shaky and hoarse. “Before I lose it big time.”
“Whatever you need.” Shanda squeezed my hand, turned the car on, and spun out of the parking space. “I could ram his car if you want.”
“Thanks, but I’ve had enough of ramming cars into things because of stupid boys.” I just shook my head, as if I could shake out the vision of him kissing her. But it was still there, clear as if I saw it five seconds ago.
Just like before.
I couldn’t believe it. Apparently nine months and a thousand miles of distance meant nothing. It’d happened all over again, my guy kissing someone else—and I had to watch.
Bryan wasn’t even my guy, officially. But deep down, it hurt like he was. No technicality like a distance pact could get him out of this one.
Riverdale’s lights were different at slower speeds, like a twinkle of hope in the blackness. Just not enough light to prick its way through the shroud of my present darkness.
Shanda’s hushed tone shattered the silence. “Maybe it’s not what you think.”
“Maybe it is. Maybe he’s just like Jake.” I spit the words out like they were infected.
“This isn’t like him, did you think about that? Maybe it’s all her, maybe she’s the one who wants to get back together with him.” Shanda stopped at a red light and turned to face me.
Streetlights cast wavy shadows on her cheekbones. When I finally looked her in the eye, she had her serious face on. “It is possible, you know. Maybe she’s just like Jake.”
“Maybe.” As we got closer to campus, I flipped down the mirror. Splotches covered my face, but I wiped away the teary remnants. Good thing I hadn’t bothered with mascara.
Still, none of it made any sense. “I don’t know what’s going on any more.”
“Don’t say that.” Shanda clucked her tongue at me. “It could all be a misunderstanding. It’s possible. You know it is. Maybe you should trust him, at least give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Out of all of my friends, I never figured you’d be the one to stick up for Bryan.” I flipped up the mirror as we passed the Montrose Academy sign.
How could two schools a thousand miles apart be so similar? I had hoped this place would be my escape, my sanctuary, but now I was worse off than before. A hollow ache crawled from my throat to my stomach, settling deep inside me.
“That’s before I got to know him.” Shanda swung her tiny car into a parking space. “We should’ve gotten out of the car and asked what was going on. He’s a good guy, Lucy. There has to be an explanation for what just happened.”
“People do stupid things sometimes.” I reached for the door handle, but Shanda stopped me.
“Do you trust him?”
I peered back at her, studying the expectant expression on her face. Slowly, her words sank in. “I thought I did.”
“Then maybe you should trust that this is all a misunderstanding. I bet if we just asked him right now, he’d clear up the whole thing.”
I exhaled enough air to fog up the windshield. “With everything I’ve been through, I just don’t know. I need to think for a while. I’m going for a walk.”
“Fine.” With a huff, Shanda let go of my hand and hopped out of the car. “Don’t stay out too long. It’s getting colder.”
My arms felt like barbells as I opened the door. With every movement, my body hung heavier, like it was weighed down. We trudged in silence back to the dorm.
At the edge of the sidewalk, Shanda hugged me. “You know where I’ll be if you need me.” Then she jogged to the door.
I kept marching, not knowing where my feet would lead me. They trampled a path on the dry grass until I reached the quad. The cold bit into me, and I wrapped the scarf tighter around my neck. Out of the corner of my eye, a shadow flitted past. I turned in its direction and saw him.
Not some kind of strange shadow-vision, but the real thing.
I blinked, but my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. It was Jake. The last person I wanted to run into on a dark campus with no one around.
The library’s lights were still on, so I picked up the pace, booking it across the quad. Please let me get there first. Please don’t let him catch me.
* * *
The warmth of the library covered me like a blanket as soon as I opened the door. I gulped in breathfuls of musty air, but calm escaped me. My heartbeat thudded in my ears, louder than ever.
Quiet filled the room, not a whisper anywhere. I turned and peeked out the glass door. A shadowy figure lurked outside, but I couldn’t see his face. Had Jake spotted me, followed me? I ducked into the ladies’ room just in case.
With shaky fingers, I dug my cell phone out of my pocket. I dialed Shanda’s number and it went straight to voicemail. She must’ve turned it off. Who else could I call? My fingers did the work for me, dialing Bryan—my last resort. It rang four times, then voicemail picked up. Immediately, I hit the end button as hard as I could.
He was still with Colleen—right when I needed him.
What kind of strange message would I leave? Hey Bryan, I think my ex is stalking me, but I’m not sure. Oh yeah, and I saw you with yours so you better explain yourself. Probably wouldn’t go over well.
But what alternative did I have? If Jake really had followed me across campus, I couldn’t go back out there by myself. So I did the only thing I could think of, I sent a text to Shanda and Bryan. Stuck in the library. Jake’s outside. Please help.
As soon as I sent the text, I stared at my phone. No one responded. I paced back and forth across the bathroom tiles, each bootstep clomping back at me. One minute went by, two minutes, five minutes, still no response.
Could I face Jake on my own? Maybe I could sneak past him if I stayed in the shadows, but the idea of it sent a shudder through my body. Maybe it was time to stand up to him, once and for all.
I poked my head out the door and saw no one around. My mind flashed back to the initiation, that horrible night that Nexis made us break into the library.
Then it dawned on me.
When I discovered the book, Shanda had dragged me out the back door. If I was lucky, maybe I could sneak out that way again.
I zigzagged among the maze of tables until I reached the back row of stacks. When I rounded the corner, I stopped dead in my tracks.
Will stared back at me. Those familiar gray eyes were flecked with gold in the shadowy library light.
“What are you doing here?”
He held an old book in his hands, a greenish hardcover, not the Nexis book this time. “Just doing some research for a paper. You okay? You look as white as one of those Twilight vampires.”
His hand grazed mine, but it held no warmth. At least there weren’t any shadows around him this time.
“You’re as cold as one of them.” I met his gaze as his lips curled.
Those platinum eye softened, like maybe he really did care about me. “You must be okay after all.”
His concern pricked something inside, like a dead flower bursting from the pile of ash Bryan left in my heart. If I had any shot at getting out of this, I had to trust this guy.
“I’m not okay. I just saw my ex on campus and now he’s right outside. I don’t know if I can get out of here without him noticing. Maybe if I sneak out the back ...” As I trailed off my knees started wobbling. I couldn’t look at him. What must he think of me? First I shun him and now I expect him to help me? I just stared down at my black boots, not knowing what else to do, what else to say.
“No wonder you look so scared. And I thought it was me.” He slung his arm over my shoulder, pulling me into the crook of his elbow. “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. I’ll call campus security.” In an instant he pulled out his cell, dialed the number, and relayed the situation to them.
“Why didn’t I think of that?” He almost reminded me of Dad coming to my rescue at Thanksgiving. I crumpled into his arms. His strong hands held me steady, stroking my hair.
&
nbsp; For the first time in a long time, I actually felt safe. Maybe I was wrong about Will. What if he was the good guy, and all this time it was Bryan trying to reel me in? The overhead lights flickered as the traitorous thought crossed my mind.
Could everything I assumed was true actually be false? It would flip my whole world upside down. Seeing Bryan with Colleen had already turned the tables.
“They’ll be over as soon as they break up a mob at the stadium. Someone tried to start a fight in the middle of the championship game. Can you believe it?” Right now his gray eyes were warm and inviting, something I’d never noticed before.
“Of course. That’s why the quad was deserted. Thanks for calling security.” I chewed on my lip, staring up at him.
No shadows surrounded him this time. Had I made them up before, or had he changed since then? Words bounced around in my brain, the right words mixed with all the wrong words I’d said to him over the past few months. How could I have been so heartless?
Somehow, I had to fix this. I had to make it right. “I know I haven’t exactly been nice to you these last few weeks. And I’m sorry. I wish things had worked out differently. You have no idea.”
“Me, too, Lucy. Me, too.” He pressed his lips to my cheek, murmuring against my face. “For the record, you have nothing to be sorry about.”
Easing back to look at me, his eyes softened. “Maybe I should check and see if the coast is clear, since the library’s about to close. Who knows how long it’ll take to break up a football fight.”
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. He’s dangerous.” Something gnawed at my gut, something akin to dread, but I pushed it back. Instead, I squeezed his hand. “What would I do without you?”
“You have no idea how long I’ve waited to hear that.” His face lit up, then he nodded his he-man head bob. “I got this. You stay right here. I’ll be back in a sec.”
His fingers brushed my cheek before he disappeared out the back door.
I stared at the bookshelf in front of me. The titles blurred together until it made my head hurt. Now it looked like Will was on my side, and Bryan abandoned my team—like black had suddenly become white.
The Nexis Secret: YA Fantasy Romance (The Nexis Angel Series Book 1) Page 27
