“Kat,” Sam says, grabbing my attention. “She said to come on back.”
“Is she mad?” I ask nervously.
“Nah. You’re good.”
I sigh in relief and head through the door, down the hall and to the right. Dr. Gavin sits at the computer when I tap on the door.
“Hey, come on in,” she says cheerfully.
“I’m so sorry to drop in like this. I missed my appointment, and I need to get this situation rectified.”
She takes off her eyeglasses and gives me her full attention. “Wait. How long has it been?” she asks.
I wince. “I think we should do a pregnancy test first.”
She nods. “Ah.” She stands up and slides the chair under the table. “Well, that’s what we’ll do.”
I sit nervously after I pee on the stick. Dr. Gavin lectures me about how I’m more fertile after the shot wears off and how if I didn’t want to have a baby right now I should not have waited.
And all I can do is agree with her because she’s right. This was so stupid of me. I put my face in my hands and pray that the stupid stick says what I want it to.
I mean, in a way, Bryce and I getting married is a little quick. Hell, we just moved in together. I haven’t even unpacked all my boxes!
Anxiety starts to swim in my gut, and I feel sweat trickle down my back.
This is all too much.
This is all too much, too fast.
Maybe I shouldn’t have said yes to Bryce so quickly? There were the tulips and the sun and the morning dew and everything was perfect, and he was so perfect, and I was so happy, and I don’t get why I even thought that…
I’m just having a panic attack.
That’s all. This is me panicking.
I’m allowed to do that.
Right?
“Okay,” she says, interrupting my freak-out. “It looks like you got lucky.”
My head falls back as I exhale loudly. “Thank God.” I look back at her.
She gives me a look. “Would it have really been that bad? I mean, I see that ring on your hand.”
I look down at it, running my finger over the square diamond. It’s beautiful. Not too flashy, not too big. Just right. And the man I love gave it to me. My heart flutters like butterfly wings, cheesing like the happy muscle she is.
Having a baby with him… No, it wouldn’t be bad.
“I think that smile on your face tells me more than words.”
I look back at her, feeling my cheeks blush. She grins. “Let’s get your shot taken care of.”
_____________
After I leave the doctor’s office, I head home for the day. I turn my radio up, and even though it’s warm out, I let my windows down and hang my arm out as Guns & Roses sing “Paradise City”. I’m relieved I’m not pregnant, but that doesn’t mean I don’t ever want to be. Just not right this minute.
I pull into the apartment building and head up. I take the elevator and step off when it hits Bryce’s…oops, I mean our floor.
Stepping inside, I find Bryce standing out on the balcony with no shirt and his basketball shorts hanging off his hips. He grips the railing as he looks out at the cityscape. It’s twilight, the sun has slipped behind the buildings, and the sky is a soft blue- yellow.
Placing my purse onto the counter, I slip my shoes and socks off and walk to him. I open the door and step out, and as soon as I do, he turns and strides over to me, shocking me when he grabs the back of my neck and kisses me stupid.
He presses me up against the glass and lifts me up. His hand grabs my thigh as he brings my shirt up. He slides me up higher, kissing the tops of my breasts before pulling my bra down and taking my nipple into his mouth.
My hands go to his hair and I hold on as he starts to undo my pants. God, he is mouthwatering, but I can’t let this go any farther. Not unless we use a condom, which means, I’m gonna have to tell him.
“Bryce,” I say. His mission doesn’t slow.
“Hey.” I pull his hair, so he’ll look at me.
It works.
“Problem?” he asks.
I look past him. “Um, yeah.”
His brow furrows, and he loosens his hold on me, so I slide down to his face level. I wiggle more, trying to touch the ground. I need some space, but my bossy fiancé isn’t letting up.
“Bryce,” I say with an eye roll.
“Don’t Bryce me. What’s wrong that you had to stop me?”
I lick my lips and bite my bottom one.
“Tell me,” he demands.
“Put me down first.”
“No.”
“Dear God,” I say, getting frustrated.
“Whatever it is you need to tell me, you can do it right here. Face to face.”
“Why do you always think it’s your way or no way?”
“I don’t think that.”
“Clearly,” I say.
“Just spit it out already.”
“Fine. I missed my birth control shot. I got it today, though, and I can’t have unprotected sex for the next seven days.”
His face pales, and his mouth opens slightly. His eyes search mine for the part I didn’t emphasize. I missed my shot. But it’s so very obvious that’s the one thing he is focused on.
“So you missed it?”
This time he does let me loose, though.
“Thank you,” I say, pulling my shirt and bra down. He watches me, like I’m something to be studied. “Bryce, stop staring at me. Yes, I missed my shot, but it’s fine. I’m not pregnant.”
He looks out. “Okay, good.”
“Good?” I ask.
“Yeah, good.” He walks to the door and leaves me standing on the balcony.
What the hell just happened?
I follow after him. “Hey,” I say as the door shuts behind me. “What was that?”
“What?” he asks, grabbing a glass from the cabinet and his trusty bottle of bourbon.
“You said good. So, you’re glad I’m not pregnant?”
“Aren’t you?” he asks. “Want a drink?”
“Yes, and yes.”
“So, why are we having this conversation?” He slides my glass over. I grab it and take a sip. It burns like fire, but it’s needed after this stressful day of hiding a huge secret from Claire and worrying relentlessly about going to the doctor. It’s a huge dose of water to the blazing flames that is my life.
“I don’t know,” I say in thought. I look back at him. “Do you ever want kids?”
“With you?”
I look around. “Well, I don’t see anyone else in this room, and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one you’re dating?”
He exhales and shakes his head. Grabbing his hat from the counter, he lazily places it on his head. “It’s been a long fucking day. Of course, I want to have kids with you and, of course, only you. Sorry for the confusion,” he says, downing his drink.
“Why has it been a long day for you?” I take another sip of mine as he pours himself a second round.
“Jace,” he says. “We got into it.”
“Oh,” I reply. “About?”
“Harlow, Red, the fact that he still blames me for being a teenager. The sky’s blue and he says it’s orange. You fucking name it.”
I smirk. “So y’all talked about everything that went down at Red finally?”
“Yeah,” he says. “We cleared the air on that subject and then moved on to resentment and blame.”
I take a seat at the island.
Bryce looks at me, hurt clearly on his face because he hates fighting with his brother and I know Jace feels the same. “Apparently, I’m the worst brother in the world because I left him and moved to the city. I don’t know.” He exhales. “I told him I had to make something of myself, and you know Jace, he threw everything I’ve done wrong in my face.”
“Yeah, he’s good at pointing fingers,” I say, remembering how he called me out about Bryce and my relationship when I confronted him about Harlow.
Bryce glares at the floor, biting his inner cheek. “I know he’s seeing that woman, and it makes me madder than hell.”
“But what can we do about it?” I ask.
He shrugs, sipping his drink. “Not a damn thing.”
I look down at the brown liquid in my glass, swirling it a tad as my thoughts move from Jace and Harlow to mine and Claire’s argument about Bryce and the things he’s done.
His brother isn’t wrong, and neither is Claire. My guy got mixed up in some bad shit. I haven’t told Bryce about our conversation, and I don’t plan to. I don’t need him disliking my best friend. My family.
That will only cause problems. But I do need some reassurance when it comes to his relationship with Bones.
My eyes jump up to him. “Bryce, I don’t like the fact you’re tied up with Bones.”
He looks up at me. “Where did this come from?”
I avoid his gaze. “I don’t know. I was just thinking about it.”
He lets it slide, not pressuring me on why that’s on my mind. I’m grateful.
“I’m not,” he says. “I sold a club to the man. Our business is done.”
“Yeah, but do you think other people know your business is done?”
“I don’t know what other people you’re referring to.” I’m referring to Claire and other men who might be working with Bones. You get tied up with one of them and you get tied up with all… at least that’s what I’ve read and seen on TV. But what do I know? This is stupid. I shouldn’t have even said anything.
I look down at my glass again. “I don’t know either. I’m just saying, I hope we don’t have to see that man anymore. He scares me.”
“He got your man out of a prison sentence and he helped Claire.”
“Not because he’s a nice guy, Bryce. He wanted something in return.”
“I’m aware of that, but facts are facts.”
“Yes, they are. And the fact is, the man is a murderer. Just promise me you’ll stay away from him.”
“Don’t worry about it,” he says. “We’re done.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise, K. Let’s move on. Drink your drink so we can go buy a box of condoms.”
I laugh, but he doesn’t. “I hate those things. This is going to be hell.”
“Didn’t you use them before?” I ask, praying he did.
“Yeah, but never with you and I didn’t want to start.”
I down my drink as he does, too. “Don’t be a pouty baby.” I slide off the stool. “Go put a shirt on.”
“I don’t wanna wear a shirt.” He stomps his foot, childlike, causing me to laugh out loud. He winks at me and shakes his head at himself. “What are you doing to me?” he yells out through the apartment as he climbs the stairs.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Kathrine
Months pass and summer bids us farewell as fall steps into the spotlight. Bryce and I have talked about the wedding here and there, and we’ve decided to have it out at the ranch, just like Emily and Lee.
I’m thrilled that Mills is going to walk me down the aisle. He’s missed out on so much of my life, and not because of either one of us, but because of Bethany. I looked into her death. She did commit suicide, and she was cremated. That’s all I know, that’s all there is.
Does it make me sad?
Yeah, my soul isn’t that black. I loved the woman regardless of what she did. Somewhere deep inside, I still loved her. But she’s gone now, and that part of my life is over.
As I plan my wedding, I can’t say that I don’t think about how cool it must be for some to have a mother who is over-the-top thrilled to put her two cents in. Who comes up with ideas of her own that you might hate, but don’t have the heart to tell her because she’s your mom and she’s been looking forward to this day probably more than you.
But that’s not my reality.
Instead, I have a woman who’s trying to be better for her sons and believes it’s never too late to make a healthier life for yourself. Mary has changed a ton over the last year. She’s clean and helping others get that way.
I have Lou, who never could be a mom herself and has taken on her adopted nephews as though they are her own. She’s also taken on me and gives great advice on how to deal with Bryce and the fact he’s never grocery shopped or washed clothes.
And then there’s Emily, Lee’s wife. She’s fun to have drinks with, and I love hearing stories about Bryce and Jace growing up. We’ve even gone horseback riding together.
I may have been shorted a mom, but I didn’t get the short stick on amazing women.
I look up to every one of them for their courage to change, their ability to love without judgment, and their strength in dealing with these Grant boys.
Speaking of amazing women, there’s still the fact I haven’t told Claire I’m getting married.
I’m a shit and I know it.
I slide my ring off before I go into Mugs & Books and I slide it back on when I leave. It’s become a habit. We talk about baby Axel and she complains about stretch marks and swollen feet. She’s still gorgeous and glowing, but some days she does look pretty miserable.
“Don’t have a baby, Kat. Just don’t do it.”
I laugh as I head for the door with the rattling keys in my hand. Becca has left already, so it’s just Claire and me. I punch in the alarm code and hit the lights. “You’ll be so happy when Axel arrives you won’t even remember all of this shit.”
“Oh yes, I will.”
I laugh again as the security light comes on and I lock the door. I check the handle to make sure it’s good, my eyes skipping over to the pretty window display lights that are green and soft yellow, reflecting fall. “Bryce and I will be over in just a little while,” I tell her.
“See you in a bit. I’ll cook something so we can eat.”
“Sounds good,” I call out as we both walk to our cars. Once inside, I reach in my purse and slide my ring back on. Bryce knows I haven’t told Claire. He doesn’t like it one bit. He understands why she was hesitant about him, but all of that is in the past, he says.
I think he’s right, but I’ve let it go on for so long now, I’m not sure how to even tell her. I flip my windshield wipers on to remove this afternoon’s rain. My lights come on automatically as dusk settles in downtown Atlanta.
Tonight’s the night we move out the remainder of my furniture so Axel can have his own room.
It’s not a sad moment, but a happy one. Claire and I knew I wasn’t coming back when I moved out six months ago. Life has changed for us all, and it’s a good thing.
______________
I open the door to find Lou and Bryce sitting at the dining room table. “Hey,” Bryce says, standing up when I stroll in. In a white T-shirt, black jeans, and barefooted, he walks over to me, bending to give me a kiss.
“Hey,” I reply after. He smiles and strolls over to the fridge.
“I just wanted to stop by and catch up,” Lou says. “How’s the wedding planning going?”
I roll my eyes dramatically. “It’s going.”
She laughs. “That good, huh?”
I smile. “It’s actually not that bad. I’ve just got a few things I need to do.”
Oh yeah, did I mention the wedding is next month?
“Like tell Claire you’re getting married?” she asks with a lifted brow.
My eyes jump to Bryce. “Really?” I say.
He shrugs. “Sorry. I didn’t know it was a secret.”
I sigh. “Well it’s not…” I look sideways. “Only from Claire.”
“You need to tell her,” Lou says.
“I know. I will… soon.”
“In my experience, keeping secrets from best friends doesn’t go down too well.”
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not going to go down too well, hence why I haven’t told her.”
Lou gives me a sympatric smirk. “Good luck.” She stands, grabbing her purse from the chair. “I brought some spaghetti over.
It’s in the fridge.”
“Thanks,” I say, giving her a hug.
“Bryson, I’ll call you tomorrow.” She hugs him, too.
“Tell Monnie we say hey,” he says.
“Will do. You need to come visit the old man at the diner. You haven’t been in a while.”
“We will,” I say.
She nods. “Put that spaghetti in the oven. It’ll taste better. I usually put some cheese over it when I heat it.”
“We got it, Lou,” Bryce says, trying not to roll his eyes.
She holds her hands up. “Okay, okay.” I smirk after she leaves, taking a sip of my water before leaning my elbows on the counter. Looking down at my ring, I think, by this time next month, I’ll no longer be a Harrison. I’ve never been attached to that name. It’s my mother’s. Getting rid of it will be a chain link broken.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Bryce says. I look to him. He stands against the counter, arms crossed over his lean chest. Black ink covers his skin. At thirty-four, he’s gone from club owner to not having a clue what he’s going to do, but he’s got enough money to do anything.
In a way, I feel like I’m holding him back. He could go anywhere, but we have Mugs & Books. I love that store; I love running it. I’m sure he couldn’t care less. It’s just a coffee shop with books in it. It doesn’t hold any special value or memories for him like it does me. It was my saving grace when I moved here. It was a place I grew to call home.
But if he really wanted to go off and do things, I suppose I could leave it in Becca and Claire’s hands until I returned. After all, he is the reason I have it in the first place.
“Just thinking about life,” I say.
“Oh,” he lifts his brow, “that’s a tricky one.”
I laugh. “It is.” I push off the counter, tossing my empty water bottle into the trash. “We’ll have to eat the spaghetti tomorrow; Claire is cooking something.”
“Oh shit, I forgot we’ve got to go over there.”
“Don’t be a baby, baby. We have to move that shit so Axel can have his room.”
Give Me Forever Love (Give Me Series Book 3) Page 12
