by Emma Lea
“Did you even, just for a minute, think that if she loved you so much, why she would want to be with me?” Chase asked quietly before turning and walking away.
Chapter 13
Savannah
“I hope you don’t mind that I’m your escort again,” Martin said as he walked with me into the dining room.
“Not at all,” I replied, trying to hide the fact that I was looking for the familiar tall cowboy who was taking up way too much real estate in my head.
Martin pulled out the chair for me and I sat, smiling a thank you up at him. Chase was across from me and he looked…glum. There was no other word to describe it. He looked at me and smiled sadly. I raised an eyebrow at him and he shook his head. Did that mean he didn’t want to talk about it or did that mean Jed wasn’t coming?
Martin sat next to Chase and I smiled at him, wracking my brain for some sort of conversation. I picked up my wine and took a sip, closing my eyes as the flavour danced across my tongue.
“Mm, that’s delicious.”
He beamed. “I’m glad you like it,” he said.
“One of yours?”
He nodded. “Our latest release. The queen was so gracious in asking if she could serve it tonight.”
“It’s really lovely,” I said, honestly.
Dinner was pleasant and uneventful, but with each passing minute, I became first concerned and then a little perturbed at Jed’s no-show. I was expecting to see him tonight. I was hoping that Alyssa might finally pair me up with him. It seemed she had paired me with every other available bachelor but for some reason, not Jed. I’d hoped that tonight would finally be the night. Not that I minded Martin’s company. He was a lovely man but there were just no sparks. No chemistry, unlike between Jed and me.
I was willing to admit that what sparked between us was more than I’d felt for anyone or anything in a long time. I wasn’t quite ready to follow it to its conclusion, but I was kidding myself if I thought I could stay away from him. I knew I was sending him mixed signals, but as hard as I tried, I couldn’t stay away from him. And it wasn’t just that he was good-looking, although he totally was. Nor was it the fact that he was the strong, silent type and he made me feel safe when I was with him. No. It was the way he treated the horses and the way he was with Archer. He genuinely seemed to enjoy being with my son and that was something I’d never thought I’d ever find. Archer and I were throwaways, but Jed treated us like we were precious.
With the meal at an end, Martin escorted me into the drawing room and we walked the perimeter of the room, making polite conversation with each other and the other couples before Martin excused himself to go and get us drinks. Chase took that moment to come and speak to me.
“Where is he?” I asked, not afraid to show my concern about Jed’s absence, at least not to Chase.
“I don’t know,” he said and I knew there was something else going on.
“What happened?”
He sighed and shook his head. “We fought.”
“So? That’s nothing new.”
“It was different this time. We both said some things that were…unwise.”
“So he just blew off the queen?”
Chase shrugged. There was more going on, but Chase wasn’t going to tell me anything.
“Is it because of me? Is he avoiding me?”
Chase didn’t reply. He smiled as Martin approached. I took a glass from Martin and the men shook hands. Chase asked Martin about his estate and for a moment I was left to my own thoughts.
The last time I was with Jed, everything seemed fine. Surely a fight with Chase wouldn’t be enough to drive him off. I mean, they fought all the time. I had yet to see an interaction between them that didn’t involve cross words and narrowed eyes.
The only explanation that made any sense to me was that he didn’t want to see me. I had run to him after the scene with my father and I slobbered all over him. He’d seen a glimpse of my crazy life, my crazy family and realised I wasn’t worth the drama. Not unlike David. It seemed men liked me when they thought I was little more than a piece of fluff, but when things got real—like falling pregnant or disclosing you had a father with an addiction—I wasn’t worth the trouble.
“Savannah? Are you alright?” Martin asked.
“No,” I said. “I’m feeling a little…unwell.”
“You do look pale,” Chase said, concern in his voice.
“If you two would please excuse me,” I said, “I think I might go and lie down.”
“Of course,” Martin said.
I handed off my glass and headed for the doors. Before I knew it, I was in the stables. I stopped and shook my head at myself. I was an idiot. What was I doing here? If he hadn’t come to the dinner party because he was avoiding me, then the last thing he’d want is for me turning up here to confront him.
I walked down the length of the stalls and curious noses poked out watching my progress. I stopped to pat Fantasia and then Penny. I got to the end and the corner which would take me into Mistborn’s wing and stopped. I should just turn around and leave. If he didn’t want to see me then I wasn’t about to throw myself at him.
“He’s not here,” Cliff said, leaning against the door of what I assumed was an office. “Tore out of here like a hornet was on his…um…on him. Don’t know where he is.”
“Thanks,” I said, not sure just how much Cliff knew. He probably knew the whole story. I was under no illusion that the palace staff knew a heck of a lot more than they let on. The last thing I wanted to do was discuss it, though, so I turned and left.
Jed
The pub was warm and the later it got, the quieter it got, which was perfect. I’d come here to drown my sorrows but it seemed every man and his dog had picked tonight to come out and celebrate. I was not in a celebratory mood.
But now most of the revellers were gone and the bartender stood at the bar polishing glasses, giving me the stink eye. I sat in a booth and nursed my beer. I didn’t want to go home yet. I didn’t want to go home at all.
The things Chase said to me still smarted. There was no way I could believe that he’d gone there with Caroline just to prove a point to me, but he was right when he said I hadn’t trusted him enough to hear his side of the story. Trust was hard won and easily lost with me. Maybe I should have taken a moment to listen, but it was too late now.
I sipped my beer and placed it back down on the coaster. And now it was happening all over again with Savannah. I thought I’d kept my heart out of it, but apparently not. Seeing her with Chase and my reaction to the scene proved that I had let her get too close and my stupid, weak heart had fallen for her, only to get hurt once again. There was no way I could have gone to the dinner party tonight and sat there watching her as she smiled and chatted as if nothing had happened. It was better to cut and run now before things got too serious.
I snorted a little at myself. I was such an idiot. She probably didn’t even realise I wasn’t there. She was probably too wrapped up in Chase to notice anyone else. I couldn’t blame her, not really. Chase was good looking, charming and a gentleman. I was surly and quiet and no fun to be around. It didn’t take a genius to work out that Savannah would much rather be with someone like Chase than the person I had become.
Someone slid into the seat opposite me and I looked up to see Chase. He was glaring at me, his mouth pulled tight in anger. I don’t know what the heck he had to be angry about and I didn’t really are. I lifted the drink to my mouth and sipped. I knew the bartender wouldn’t give me another one, so I had to make this one last as long as possible before I got thrown out.
“Why are you here, sulking, instead of at the palace?” he asked.
I shrugged and refused to look at him. I had no intention of talking to the man. He was dead to me. Twice over.
Chase shook his head, his hands resting on the table curled into fists. “I should take you outside and knock some sense into you.”
“I’d like to see you try,” I said.
He stared at me like I was an alien life form. “What happened to you? Living here and working in the stables has turned you into an idiot.”
“Nope. I was already an idiot when I came here. I just forgot for a little while.”
“What in God’s name is that supposed to mean? I hardly recognise you anymore. Where’s the man I grew up with? Where’s the man I was going to start a business with and breed world champion race horses with?”
I leaned back against the booth seat and narrowed my eyes across the table at him. “That guy’s dead. He died when he walked in on his best friend and his fiancée. You killed him.”
Chase swore under his breath and shook his head. “So I’m to blame for you being such a jerk to Savannah? It’s all my fault that you are breaking that woman’s heart?”
I scoffed and took another sip of my drink.
“You have no idea how she feels about you, do you?” he asked with disbelief in his voice. “No idea at all.”
“Oh I know how she feels about me,” I said, anger churning under the surface of the numbness I had tried to achieve tonight. “Nothing. Zip, zero, zilch.”
“What are you on about?” Chase asked. “Seriously. What the heck are you talking about?”
“I saw you. I saw the two of you together. It wasn’t hard to work out the rest.”
Chase threw up his hands. “So we’re back to that again? I’m talking about Savannah, not Caroline. You remember? The blonde-haired beauty who lives in the palace?”
“I’m not talking about Caroline either,” I growled. “I saw you and Savannah together. I should be the one to take you outside and knock your block off for trying to steal another one of my girlfriends.”
“Savannah’s your girlfriend?”
“No. You know what I mean. She could have been if you hadn’t stepped in with your charm and your smiles and your ability to make her laugh. You can’t deny what I saw.”
“I can and I will,” Chase said. “I have no freaking clue what you are talking about. You must be drunker than you look if you think I would go there with Savannah.”
“What’s wrong with her? Not good enough for you?”
Chase stared back at me in surprise. “There is nothing wrong with her but she only has eyes for you, my delusional friend.”
“Then why were the two of you together?” I asked, standing from the table and weaving slightly as I tried to find my balance.
“We weren’t together. I promise you,” Chase said, standing as well.
“Don’t lie to me,” I hissed. “You at least owe me that much.”
I swung around and took a step toward the door. I needed to get out. But the floor moved under my feet and the building swayed, or maybe that was me. Maybe I was drunker than I realised. My head spun and before I could stop myself, I was falling. Thankfully everything went black before I hit the floor.
Savannah
“What happened here?” Margaret asked as she looked around the sitting room in my suite.
I looked too, taking in the mess with fresh eyes. Maybe I had gone a little overboard.
“Did someone try to break in?” Margaret asked. “Should I call Benjamin or Von Bartham?”
“I was…redecorating,” I said.
“O-kay,” Margaret said slowly as she crept carefully into the room. “I don’t think this is a very efficient way of redecorating.”
“Alright, fine. I was having a tantrum. Happy? I came up here and started throwing things around because I was mad and I thought a bit of physical viol—exertion might do me some good. Or at least stop me from hunting someone down and killing them with my bare hands.”
“Who?” Margaret asked.
I slumped onto the couch—minus the cushions I’d pitched across the room in a fit of pique—and dropped my head in my hands. “It doesn’t matter,” I mumbled.
I felt Margaret sit gingerly beside me. “Is it…” she paused and took a breath. “Is it Martin? Are you upset with him? Did he do something tonight?”
I lifted my head and looked at her. She was trying very hard not to give away any tells, but I’d had a lifetime of living with a man who played poker for a living.
“Do you like Lord Martin?” I asked, happy for the focus to be off me and onto a safer subject that didn’t have anything to do with a six-foot-four American who excelled at doing the disappearing act.
Margaret shrugged and her cheeks turned pink. “I don’t really know him,” she stammered. “We were only paired up that once.”
“But you like him,” I said again and she shrugged again. “Come on, you can tell me. I won’t tell anyone.”
Margaret sighed and dropped her head. “I do. I do like him, but he likes someone else.”
“He does? Who?”
She looked right at me. “You,” she said. “He likes you.”
I shook my head in denial, but Margaret just rolled her eyes. “Why do you think the queen set the two of you up?”
“No,” I said. “It’s not like that. Not like that at all. He’s a nice guy, but we’re just friends.”
“That might be how you feel,” she said, carefully. “But I don’t think he sees things that way.”
I turned toward her and took her hands in mine. “I promise you,” I said, “I promise you that there is nothing between us. If you like him, you should go for him. He is a very lovely man and I think the two of you would be good together.”
“But he likes you,” she said, her voice sad.
“But not like that,” I replied. “There is no…spark between us. No chemistry.”
Margaret searched my eyes. “Then who is it?” she asked, and I ground my back teeth together. “Who is it that has you so upset that you did this to your suite?”
I let go of her hands and stood. I needed to move, to pace. If I sat still too long it felt like all my unruly emotions were going to swamp me. I promised myself I would never get this worked up over another man for the rest of my life and yet somehow, here I was. A mess over a guy who didn’t care one wit about me. Just like David. Just like my mother.
“It’s no one,” I said. “It doesn’t matter anyway. He obviously doesn’t feel the same way so I’m done with him. I refuse to put my heart on the line for someone who won’t ever feel the same about me.”
Margaret stood and crossed the room to me, laying a hand on my shoulder. “Are you so sure it’s one sided?” she asked. “I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”
“Who? Martin?” I shook my head. “No, there’s nothing there. There’s nothing but friendship between us.”
“Not Martin,” she said. “Jed. I’ve seen the way Jed looks at you and the way you look at him.”
I dropped my head on her shoulder. “Damn. Is it that obvious?”
“Probably not to anyone else,” she replied softly. “But I know you and I’ve seen you with other men. You’ve never looked at another guy the way you look at Jed. I’ve seen him with Archer too. I’ve seen the way he lets Archer follow him around. He must really like you and Archer both.”
“I wish that were the case,” I said. “I wish it were true and I hate myself for wishing. I promised myself I would never fall for another guy as long as I lived. David hurt me so completely that I refused to risk being hurt again like that. But somehow Jed got past all my defences and now he’s done a disappearing act too. Just like David.”
“You don’t know that for sure—”
“Then why wasn’t he there tonight?”
“Maybe there was an emergency at the stable? Maybe one of the horses was hurt?”
I shook my head. “I went to the stable. He wasn’t there.”
“Well, maybe he’s sick.”
“Then why didn’t he let me know?” I asked. “If he cared about me, he would have let me know that he couldn’t be there.”
I took a deep breath and straightened my shoulders. I tossed my hair over my shoulders and wiped away the tears from under my lashes. I had spent enough time cryin
g over men and I was done with it. I was done with Jed. I was done with men.
“I’m sure there’s a reasonable explanation…” Margaret started to say but when she saw the look in my eye, she faded out.
“It doesn’t matter what the reason is or was,” I said. “I’m done. I’ve had my cry and my tantrum and now it’s over. I’m moving on. We have hardly any time left before the Winter Ball and we need to make sure each and every gown is perfect. We’re going to be working long days and even longer nights. This is perfect, really. The last thing I need is a distraction with such an important event coming up.” I took a breath and shook off the pall of melancholy. “Go to bed, Margaret. We have a big day tomorrow.”
Chapter 14
Savannah
I tried not to pace as I waited with Archer. We were in the clearing waiting for Jed and Archer was chatting happily away while I tried to listen. I usually enjoyed listening to Archer tell me about his day but I too steamed to fully take it in.
Jed was late. So late that if he didn’t come soon we would have to leave without Archer getting his riding lesson. I’d come prepared to ignore Jed although what I really wanted to do was interrogate him and find out why he wasn’t at the dinner party last night. But I refused to be that girl.
But the coward hadn’t even bothered to turn up.
“I don’t think he’s coming, sweetheart,” I said, ruffling Archer’s hair. I kept my voice light. The last thing I wanted was for Archer to pick up on my mood.
“But he promised.”
“I know, honey, but sometimes things happen and people break promises.” It was a harsh truth and one I learned the hard way. I didn’t want that for my son. I didn’t want him to be let down by the very people he relied on. Unfortunately there was not much I could do to prevent it except maybe prepare him for the eventuality.
