by Ella Miles
“Small things at first. He wanted more. More money, more stability. He tried to tame me. To convince me that we shouldn’t live so spontaneously. I needed to focus on one career instead of twenty. I needed to lose weight so I was more appealing. I needed to…the needs just kept continuing, and I tried so hard to be what he wanted. I loved him, of course. I wanted to make him happy.”
I stare at my hands as I talk. I’m not telling Sebastian this so he’ll give me sympathy. I’m telling him so he can understand. No, I’m telling him so I can let the past go. So I can realize that although I loved him, he wasn’t right for me. No man has been, except maybe Sebastian.
“Our relationship was chaos, a complete storm. I didn’t realize the signs, I didn’t realize I was drowning. We never got the chance to fix it, before he suddenly died. A fluke seizure while he was driving, and then he was just gone.”
I close my eyes feeling the pain of the hole he left in my heart. “I struggled with him gone. I thought I needed a man to make me whole. I didn’t realize that what Gavin had done to me did lasting damage. I didn’t realize that what he did was abuse. I just thought I needed a man because that had been my entire life, and it was gone. Something was missing, so I tried to fill it.”
I take a deep breath. “So I married Noah. But he was worse. I barely got out with the money I brought in. And I vowed after him to stay away from men. But then Trevor entered. He was actually a good man. He was smart and intelligent and settled. He worked as a lawyer and helped me focus my passions into one. He got me to work as a photographer. And as much as I loved the work, it wasn’t who I was. I like to bounce around. I don’t need money or status to make me happy.”
I look at Sebastian for the first time. “That wasn’t what this was about. I never wanted your money; I still don’t.”
Sebastian sits still as a statue, unmoving. He doesn’t say anything. He’s just listening.
So I continue.
“At first, I couldn’t remember that night. I couldn’t remember what happened or why, same as you. That wasn’t a lie. I never meant to lie to you; I just didn’t think my past mattered. I didn’t want you to try to convince me that I was abused in any way. I’m not a victim. I don’t need help.
“That’s what I thought. I didn’t realize that my first love really messed me up, that the abuse wasn’t physical, it wasn’t in my face every day, but it was there. It’s going to take a lot more healing, but I realize that now. When we got together, we were never supposed to last, and I didn’t want to heal.”
I look at Sebastian again. “You were the one who helped me heal. You helped me realize that I was hurt. That my past relationships weren’t healthy. And I’ve been getting help. That’s why I’ve been talking with Larkyn. She’s been getting me counseling.”
I exhale another breath. “Here is what I remember of that night.”
I order a drink at the hotel bar next to Sebastian while we wait, hoping that soon we will hear from Oaklee or Boden to let us know they want to head to chapel to get married still. Or at least to tell us something.
Just as I get my drink, though, I see Oaklee in her wedding dress with mascara stained tears running down her eyes.
I exchange a glance with Sebastian.
“Go, I’ll pay for your drink and then find Boden. Here’s my number.” He takes my phone and programs his number into it. “Text me and keep me in the loop, and I’ll do the same.”
I nod and then run to her, pulling her back into my arms. I had hoped they would work it out. They needed to work it out. They love each other. They seemed to be working it out in the elevator.
“Talk to me, Oaklee. Tell me what happened.”
“I can’t. I just can’t.”
“Shh, it’s okay. What can I do to help? Do you want me to get you a different room? Do you want to change out of your dress? Get a drink?”
“I don’t know,” she sobs.
I take a deep breath and walk us over the hotel desk clerk. “Can you get us a room with a double bed and have her bags brought from the honeymoon suite?”
An hour later, Oaklee and I have both changed clothes and are settled into a new hotel room. But she still hasn’t talked to me.
“Where is Boden?” she asks.
“Let me find out.”
I pull up my phone to text Sebastian. He types back the name of a club.
I show Oaklee against my better judgment.
“Let’s go,” she says.
“Why are we going to the club? Oaklee, you need to tell me what happened. Why didn’t you get married? Why did you break up?”
“I’m pregnant. I told him, and he ran. He said he didn’t believe it was his, and that he never wanted kids.”
“Oh, sweetie.” I hold her as we both cry and cry and cry.
Finally, she pulls away. “Let’s go.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
She flashes me a look that says she’s going, whether I’m coming or not. Boden is about to get his balls chopped off by one angry woman. I can’t stop her, but I can join her. That’s what best friends do.
“Let’s go.” I grab my purse, and then we head to the club to go chew Boden out.
The club isn’t just any club. It’s a strip club, which I guess shouldn’t surprise me. What does surprise me is what we see. Boden and Sebastian with two women dancing over them. Both seem to be making out with the women, and Sebastian seems to be encouraging Boden to go further.
The scene stops me in my tracks, but it doesn’t stop Oaklee. She marches over to Boden and slaps him square in the face and yells something at him before I can stop her.
Sebastian realizes what’s happening and stands before she slaps him too.
I walk over to her and give them both a stern look. “Come on, Oaklee, they aren’t worth it.”
I lead her to the bar and order us both two drinks before I realize what I’m doing.
Sebastian comes up and sits next to us. “Boden’s gone. You don’t have to worry about him anymore.” There’s a pause. “I’m sorry.”
Oaklee and I ignore him as I drink down my drink. Oaklee eventually pushes her drink in front of Sebastian.
“Drink this. You’re a fucking asshole, and I’m not going to let you go enjoy yourself. Tonight, you are going to drink because I’m pregnant and can’t drink. So you’re going to. Both of you. We are going to drown in my sorrows and come up with a plan that doesn’t leave me completely embarrassed to face all of my friends and family tomorrow.”
“You could tell them that Boden is a cheating bastard who is skirting his responsibility to his kid?” I say. “There is no shame in that.”
“I can’t,” Oaklee breaks. “We need something else to focus on.”
Sebastian starts to open his mouth, but I give him a threatening look. If you do anything, and I mean anything, that will hurt my friend, I will castrate you right now.
He gives me a nod. “Boden is an asshole. I’ll do whatever I can to help you, Oaklee. Just tell me how to fix this.”
She glares at him. “For now, drink.”
I down mine and order another. I assume Sebastian does as well because when Oaklee waves the bartender down, he brings us two more shots. That’s how we continue—drinking shot after shot while we listen to Oaklee’s pain.
“We need a diversion—something to draw attention away from what happened. We will say I was sick, and there will be redo at some point. But we need a different focus, something big,” Oaklee says.
“Like what?” I ask.
She glances between the two of us. “Like you two eloping.”
I gasp.
“Um, what now? How is that going to help anything? Or be remotely believable?”
“You two are the most unlikely people to get married. Everyone knows that. But if you got married, no one would care that I didn’t.”
I’m too stunned to process her words. She has to be kidding.
Oaklee ignores my response and give
s Sebastian a smug expression. “You said you would do anything to help me. This is what I want.”
“Okay,” Sebastian says.
“Okay? What are you crazy?”
Oaklee grabs my arm. “Excuse us for just a moment.” She pulls me into the bathroom, and I shake her off.
“Have you gone insane? Why do you want us to get married? How will that solve anything? I don’t want to marry the guy who helped your almost-husband cheat.”
She smiles. “Marry him. Save me from complete embarrassment. And then take half his money.”
“What? I don’t want his money.”
“Okay, fine, just make him think you are going to. Get him to sign a prenup to give you half by sneaking it in the marriage license. The man is filthy rich and a jerk. You don’t have to actually take half but just put that fear into him. Show him that no man messes with us.”
“Shouldn’t we be hurting Boden right now, not Sebastian?”
“Are you my best friend or not?”
“I am.”
“Then help me mess with him. We will find a way to make Boden pay too.”
“Fine. If Sebastian agrees to it, then okay.”
“Eek! This is just what I need tonight, a distraction!” She pulls out her phone to arrange a marriage license and prenup on short notice. Then she starts calling chapels and then her friend, Val, who will make sure everyone else shows up.
Meanwhile, I panic. Full-blown panic. “He’s never going to fall for this. He will never sign the prenup. He will never get married. He’ll get it annulled tomorrow.”
“Then, we will mess with him until tomorrow.”
I sigh and leave Oaklee alone in the bathroom and am immediately met with Sebastian.
“She’s lost it. We aren’t getting married.”
He frowns. “Why not?”
“Because it’s crazy! It won’t fix anything.”
“Maybe, maybe not. I never thought I’d get married.”
“Well, I’ve been married three times. I think that’s enough. I don’t want to get married again.”
He chuckles. “Perfect. Neither of us believes in the institution of marriage. So it will mean nothing, and we can just help out our friend. I fucked up, and I feel bad. And you want to help her. She’s a mess. She needs this. We can get it annulled or get a divorce in a few months. But tonight, I think it would help.”
“You’re mad.”
“I know.” He leans in close. “Plus, I think it will be really fun to be married to you.”
His lips brush my skin and tease me with want and desire. “I’m not fucking you just because we’re married.”
“Oh, but I think you will. It will be fun to play our own little game between just us.”
His eyes are playful and light. He has no idea I plan to destroy him—that that’s what Oaklee really wants.
I fold my arms over my chest. “You haven’t proposed, and I don’t see a ring, so until that happens, I won’t give you my answer.”
He smirks as he kneels down before me and produces a ring.
I’m stunned. How did he come up with a ring so suddenly?
“Millie Raine, will you marry me?”
“Yes.” Wait, yes? Did I just say yes?
He grins and puts the ring on my finger.
“I’m going to need another shot,” I say.
I look up at Sebastian again. “We got married in front of everyone. And then you signed the prenup papers giving me half. You were too drunk to notice them in with the marriage license.”
His jaw twitches, but he still doesn’t say anything.
“After that, we passed out drunk in the honeymoon suite, and you know the rest. The only other part you don’t know is why I kept it from you when I remembered. That was selfish. I knew I’d never be with you for real, what I had done was too terrible.
“But I was hoping to still have a tiny piece of you in my life. So I tried to change the prenup so you wouldn’t have to give me anything. I tried to keep what happened hidden, hoping we could part friends. I know it was wrong, but I just couldn’t bear to live a life without you in it. I’m sorry.”
A long silence stretches. I said what I needed to say. There is nothing left for me to say, and when it’s clear that Sebastian isn’t going to speak, I say, “I should go.”
“No.”
I fall back into my seat like the full weight of the world just crashed down on me.
“It’s my turn to talk and your turn to listen.”
I bite my trembling lip and fist my hands, trying to keep my anxiety in.
“You should have told me that you’d been married before.”
I wince.
“But I understand why you didn’t.”
He takes a deep breath. “I was wrong to not have stopped Boden. I didn’t even realize what was happening, and then the next thing I knew half-naked women were dancing on us. He was kissing them and telling me about how he had cheated over the course of months. When you came to the club, I was chewing him out, not encouraging him.
“But I’m not upset with you for thinking I was. I should have never been friends with someone like Boden. And I understand why you did what you thought you did.”
I feel tears wallowing in my eyes. This is the part where he says we’re over again—that we can’t even be friends.
“But I wasn’t drunk that night.”
I tilt my head, unsure of what he said.
“I knew that Oaklee and you were trying to get me to drink, so I pretended too. I was completely sober walking down the aisle, and you know why? Because when you followed Oaklee into that bathroom, a woman came up to me. She had overheard our conversation and said she had just lost her husband of over forty years. She saw the way I looked at you and said it was the same way her husband looked at her. And then she handed me her and her husband’s wedding rings. Told me to marry you, that it would change my life. That it would be the best decision I ever made, and it was.”
Tears are flowing now because I don’t understand, and all I feel is a million emotions.
“Her words hit me like I was wasting my life. I didn’t know if we would work out or stay married, but I planned to try. I vowed to live a real life, one where I might get hurt instead of playing it safe so that I wouldn’t. I wanted real, not pretend. And that’s what I vowed to do.”
He scoots closer to me but doesn’t touch me yet.
“When I signed that prenup, I knew what I was signing, and I didn’t care. If you wanted my money, then you could’ve taken it. But I didn’t think that was who you were. I saw you as someone who deeply cared about her friend, that’s it.”
I nod. “I’m sorry.”
He lifts my chin. “I’m not. Because I fell in love with the most beautiful woman with a huge heart. A woman who pushes me out of my comfort zone. A woman who fights for justice for her friend. A woman who loves me so much that she spent all the money she had on lawyers trying to get the prenup we signed changed.”
“How do you know about that?”
“I have friends who would do anything for me too.”
“You mean Larkyn?”
He nods.
“So you’ve known this whole time? How could you forget if you weren’t drunk?”
“After you passed out in our suite, Boden came back to get his things. We got into a fight. He knocked me out when he pushed me into the bedpost. My huge headache when I woke up was from our fight.”
The pieces all start making sense. “And the condom?”
“Boden fucked a random woman in there while we were getting married.”
“What a giant fucking cunt.”
“He’s no longer my friend. And if I meet him again, I’ll kick his ass.”
“I couldn’t get the prenup changed. I’m sorry. I don’t want your money, though. I’ll sign the divorce papers, and I don’t want your money.” I just want you.
“About that.” Sebastian pulls a small stack of papers out and lays them in fro
nt of me.
“My divorce papers with Trevor? Why do you have them?” I flip through them, not understanding, and then I get to the final page.
“Oh my god. I didn’t sign the last page. What does this mean?” I’m so confused.
“It means, technically, you are still married to him. And both he and I would really like you to sign them. He would like to get married soon, and so would I.”
I frown. Sebastian wants to get married. So quickly?
I swallow down my pain. “Do you have a pen?”
He holds one out, and I sign quickly. “I’ll make sure he gets these, and we file again as soon as possible.”
“Good.”
“I’ll have my things moved out of your condo today. But this means that our marriage was never real? The prenup never real?”
His face falls apart. “Legally, no. But us being together was the most real thing I’ve ever experienced. I love you, Millie. I. Love. You. I don’t care how we started. I don’t care about the lies or manipulation. And I don’t want a fresh start. I just want us together, for real.”
“I love you too, Sebastian King. I’ve loved you since you saved me in Hawaii. And it’s been real for me this whole time too. I have some more healing to do personally, and I know we have wounds we’ve caused each other that need time to mend, but I want to be with you. However you’ll have me.”
He leans down and kisses me. It’s full of everything—hope, love, a future. I could get lost in it forever.
“Well, Millie Raine, I want you as my wife. I’ve never known you as anything except my wife, and I’m not about to change that now.” He holds out the ring that the old woman from the bar gave to him. “Millie, will you spend the rest of your life with me and one day marry me for real?”
“This is already real, but yes, I’ll marry you.” And then he slips the ring on my finger. A ring I never plan on taking off.
I never thought I’d get my happily ever after. I know I’m strong enough to live a happy life without it, but I’m glad that Sebastian King gets to be part of my happily ever after.
