His legs were heavy and not just from his earlier sprint training. Lenny was alive! The words were on repeat over and over in his head. God, how they had both hoped to hear this two years ago but now—now the news sat heavy in his stomach. They’d mourned the guy, come to terms with the nightmare, hell, they’d even begun to move on. He and Olivia were…
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Standing on the corner, he could see both the high school and the café where Olivia often went to work on her marking. He decided to check out the café first and flew down the street. When he careered into the small establishment, everyone turned to look at him. The place was so small he could tell at a glance that Olivia wasn’t there and turned on his heels.
It took him ten minutes to reach the high school and find an entrance unlocked. The place was deserted except for the cleaners and as he pounded up and down the corridors, they appeared out of classrooms looking puzzled. It was more than twenty minutes before he ascertained she wasn’t at the school either and ran back out onto the street.
Nolan stood clutching his side as he took in deep breaths. Where would she go? His eyes drifted down the hill and in the distance, he caught the feint outline of the Golden Gate bridge.
Baker Beach!
Chapter 12
Olivia
The sand was freezing cold between Olivia’s toes but she hardly noticed it as she stood staring out at the boats bobbing across the bay. She’d sat so long on the beach that she was stiff and her teeth were chattering. The place was deserted, most people hurrying around town getting ready for Christmas. But for Olivia, every ounce of festiveness the beginning of the school holidays usually brought her had vanished.
She rubbed away a tear caused by the sharp wind and tried to detect an emotion inside of her, but there was nothing. No trace of joy that receiving such a phone call should bring. No anger either, or sadness, or… anything, really. The only thing she felt was numbness—a vast emptiness that she could not imagine ever being filled.
How could Lenny be alive? Two years. Two fucking long tormented years. If he’d been alive, he would have contacted her. Nothing would have prevented him from finding his way back. She got to her feet and stumbled to the water’s edge, her fingers went to her wedding ring around her neck, her eyes searching the gray undulating mass as if it had the answers.
She had no idea how long she stood there trying to make sense of it all, but it must have been a while because her back was beginning to ache with the shivering.
“Livi!”
The sound of her name came through a fog and at first, she wondered if it was just the wind playing tricks on her ears.
“Livi, shit what are you doing?”
Olivia looked over her shoulder and saw Nolan on the beach. He was hopping on one leg, tugging off his shoes and dropping them onto the sand.
“Stay where you are!”
She frowned at him, unsure what he was concerned about. Then he was pulling off his jeans and running toward her. Water sprayed around him and for the first time she realized she was up to her waist in the sea, her dress floating about her legs. Confused, she stumbled forward and landed in Nolan’s arms. He swept her up as if she weighed nothing and held her tight against his chest.
“God, Livi, what the fuck are you doing?”
She rested her head against his shoulder, suddenly weary. Hooking her hands around his neck she hid her face in his chest as he splashed back through the water. Perhaps it was the shock finally settling in or it could have just been the cold air hitting her wet limbs but she started to shiver uncontrollably. Nolan placed her on the sand and dragged his jeans back on. Finding her boots where she’d abandoned them, he slid them onto her feet. He grabbed his hoody off the sand and yank it over her head, dressing her in it while she obediently lifted her arms.
Nolan quickly pulled on his jeans and shoes and when he held out his hand, she took it. Neither of them spoke until they got to the apartment. Inside, she stood, her teeth chattering as she shivered uncontrollably
“Jeez, you’re like ice.” Nolan pulled off the fleece and began to undo the buttons on her soaking wet dress. Olivia felt like she was having some sort of out of body experience. Although conscious he was undressing her, she was unable to participate in what was going on. When she was down to her underwear, he disappeared and returned moments later with a huge terrycloth robe that he wrapped around her.
“Come here, sit.” He directed her to the sofa and pulled a thick woolen throw around her shoulders.
Olivia’s teeth still hammered together but she no longer felt cold, just empty.
“I’ll make us some hot drinks then you can tell me what happened.
“Happened?”
“Why were you in the water?”
“I-I don’t know. I was just going to dip my toes in, but I don’t know if I walked out into it or if I stood there so long the tide came in.”
“Fuck. How long where you out there?”
She shook her head, “I don’t know… I went to the beach around ten? It helps me think being down there.”
Nolan disappeared into the kitchen and Olivia took a few minutes to try to jump start her brain. The world seemed foggy and muffled, like someone had incased it in cotton wool.
“Here, drink this.”
She took the steaming cup and put it to her lips, wrinkling her nose as something alcoholic wafted up from the cup.
“I put whisky in it, you look like you need it.”
The hot drink scalded her lips but as the alcohol warmed her stomach, some of the fog began to clear. She looked up from her cup and found Nolan staring at her, his mug cradled in his hand.
“Tamika said the agency called with news about Len.”
She nodded.
“They said he is alive?”
“Yes, um, no.” She shook her head trying to remember exactly what it was they said. “The Consulate received a report from a hospital in Kuta that claimed to have an American patient. The man was brought in unconscious after a serious road accident, but they believe it is Lenny. They are sending someone over to investigate.”
Nolan rubbed his hand across his face. “But how can that be?”
Olivia played with her wedding ring, somehow taking comfort in it. “I don’t know. None of this makes any sense. But they didn’t have any other information. All I know is that it could be Lenny and if it is… he is in critical care. I-I don’t know what to do, Nolan. If it is him, I might lose him all over again.”
Nolan stood up. “Then we’ll go to Bali.”
“What?”
He disappeared into the bedroom and came back with his laptop. “Is your passport still valid?”
She nodded and scooted closer to him so she could see the screen as he typed. “Are you sure? What if this is… uh, I dunno, what if there’s been a mistake?”
Nolan put his hand to her face, his thumb stroking her cheek. “Then we need to know for sure and we can only do that if we’re there.”
As the list of flights came up, she pressed her hand to his arm. “But what if it is him?”
“Then we will deal with that when we confirm it.”
“But we… us… God, Nolan if it is Lenny then I’ve cheated on him.”
“Don’t, Livi. You’ve done nothing wrong. We both thought Len was dead.” He placed the laptop on the table and took hold of her biceps, forcing her to face him. “We never planned any of this, Livi. We comforted each other and out of that comfort we found this. I’d never pursued you when you were married to Lenny. Never. And you’d never have looked at me either. This isn’t some sordid affair where we both betrayed him.” He took a deep breath. “If it is him, I’ll make this right.”
She shook her head. “I don’t see how this can ever be right, Nolan. God, I’ve ruined everything.”
Nolan turned back to his computer and began scrolling through the lists of available flights. He didn’t answer her but his ears and the
back of his neck grew red. “There’s a flight tonight just after midnight.” He glanced over at her.
Dread pooled in Olivia’s stomach; she wasn’t sure if she could face this but she damn well knew she couldn’t just stay in California and wait for news. She nodded and Nolan clicked on the flights, filling in their details. He pulled his wallet from his pocket and used his credit card to place the order. After it was done, he switched to another website and began to search for hotels.
Ten minutes later, Olivia was in the bedroom throwing items into a suitcase. The last time she had left America, she’d spent weeks planning what she’d take for her yearlong backpacking trip. Each item carefully weighed, earning its place in her limited luggage space. Now she was dropping random items into a suitcase, not even caring if they were appropriate for the more tropical climate. She stepped back from the case, unsure how many changes of clothes she’d need. They had no idea how long they would be away and Nolan had wisely left their return trip open.
When she went back into the living room, Nolan was on the sofa, his arms resting on his knees as he stared into space. He looked up when she appeared. “I called Tamika to let her know what was happening. She was freaking out earlier.”
Olivia nodded. She should have done that herself. The call she’d made to her friend earlier must have seemed overly dramatic but as she’d been talking to Tamika the news she was telling the woman hit her and Olivia found she couldn’t continue. “Thank you, I’m not sure I can talk to anyone right now. Oh, my God, Nolan. What about Len’s mom and his sister?”
He looked grave. “I’ve called them, too. Shona wanted to come with us but I persuaded her to stay and look after her mom. Mama Tessa took it hard, as you might expect.”
Olivia lowered her head, ashamed it hadn’t been her first thought to let Len’s family know. “It is all too much to take in.”
One moment Nolan was on the sofa, the next he had her cradled in his arms. His lips brushed her hairline as he squeezed her against him. “Let’s just take this one step at a time, baby.” She raised her face to him and he brushed her hair back. “I wish I could take away all the pain and guilt you are feeling.” He rested his forehead on hers. “I won’t come between you and Lenny. If he is alive, I’ll go… move away. We won’t tell him about us. You and he will go back to the way things were before and I’ll make up some excuse to keep out of your lives.”
“Nolan, I don’t know if I can lie to him.”
“If you have to tell him, I’ll take the rap. He can hate me, not you. Whatever you need to do, I’ll be there for you, Livi. I won’t ever make you choose between us.” He took a deep breath. “You were never meant to be mine.” A tear rolled down her cheek and he swiped it away with his thumb and stepped back. “I should go pack.”
Nolan was gone a long time and when Olivia went to find him, he was in the spare room. He’d re-stacked her boxes into a corner and set up her bed. As she walked inside, he was pushing pillows into cases.
“I thought I’d better set up the room. If Lenny comes back with us—whatever version of the truth you decide to go with—it would be better for him to think you were sleeping in here.” His voice cracked and trailed away.
Nolan turned his back on her, arranging the pillows on the newly made bed. When he turned back to her, he had composed himself. “Why don’t you go back to my room and try to get a couple of hours sleep before we leave for the airport. I’ll nap in here.”
God this was fucked up! Her husband might have just been found but she couldn’t bear the thought of Nolan not being near her. “No, please, I need you.”
“You sure?” When she didn’t answer, he walked past her into the other room.
Nolan climbed into the bed and pulled the covers back for her. She joined him and he put his arm around her shoulder. Tucking his finger under her chin, he tilted her face up to him. “I know you don’t want to hear this right now, but this might be my only opportunity to say this. Getting to know you and falling in love with you over this last month has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. If nothing else, I will take away those memories and treasure them forever.”
“I—”
He shook his head. “Don’t say anything. Sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a fucking long day.”
Chapter 13
Nolan
Thirty-six Hours Later…
Spending twenty-eight hours traveling is never easy, but this had to be one of the most difficult experiences of Nolan’s life—and that included the journey back from Bali two years ago when they left without Lenny, thinking he was dead. Now he had made the grueling trip back, unsure what he was going to find and what he might lose.
Olivia was quiet and withdrawn during the trip, but he wasn’t exactly a little ray of sunshine either. The plane had been full of excited holiday-makers heading off on Christmas vacations. He was surprised they’d even managed to secure last minute seats considering the plane was so full. He’d watched movie after movie, cat-napping in between and, when doing neither of those things, he tried not to think.
The stop in Hong Kong and then a few hours later in Singapore were a blessed relief, not just for his stiff body but for a chance to get away from Olivia for a few minutes. It was torture sitting next to her, watching her mood spiral, seeing the guilt seeping from her pores.
They stepped off the plane in Denpasar after sunset. Nolan had no fucking clue what time it was—the time difference flipped his day to night and the suspended animation he’d just emerged from left him bewildered. What he did know was he needed a shower and a good night’s sleep before he could tackle what was ahead.
He sighed with relief when he saw a sign being held up with their names on. “Livi, there.” He grabbed her arm and maneuvered her through the packed arrivals area. Olivia was a complete zombie, allowing him to steer her through the crowds.
“Mr. Nolan, Sir?” A jolly faced local man held up the sign pointing to the names and nodding.
“Yes. Are you here to take us to our hotel?”
The man continued to nod. “I take bags, lady.” He wrestled them from Olivia and she nervously caught hold of Nolan’s hand.
After her silence all the way here, he found it comforting that she’d reached for him. He squeezed her hand, “Tired?”
“Yeah.”
“We’ll be at the hotel soon. We’ll grab some food and get some sleep.”
They followed their driver out of the airport, the heat hitting them and catching them unexpectedly. They left a chilly San Francisco yesterday—or was it the day before? Nolan had no idea—and the tropical heat was quite a shock to the system. The airport and the city around it were considerably different since when they’d last travelled through it. Then the streets had been strewn with the debris Hurricane Nina had left behind and were relatively quiet. In contrast, today, even this late at night, the roads were heaving with traffic and the noise and pollution drifted in through the open windows of the taxi.
“You on honeymoon? Yes? Bali very good for brides and grooms. We have lovely beaches. Romantic.” Their driver looked over his shoulder at them and winked. “Very romantic nights also, yes.”
“No,” Nolan snapped a little more firmly than he intended. “Consulate business. No honeymoon.”
“Ah, yes, yes. You come back for honeymoon. You get married here, have romantic wedding.”
Nolan turned his head and looked out the window. He had a feeling the taxi driver only knew enough English to converse with newlyweds and the conversation was already becoming circular.
They headed North from the airport and as they passed the sign pointing south toward Pandawa Beach, Nolan held his breath and clutched Olivia’s hand tighter, trying to keep the memories of losing Lenny at bay. Nolan had booked a hotel near the American Consulate, as that would be their first port of call. If necessary, they’d transfer to somewhere in Kuta so they could be closer to the hospital.
The thirty-minute journey went quicker than he wou
ld have anticipated and before they knew it, they were standing on the pavement outside their hotel. It was pretty late and Nolan hoped the hotel had kept their room for them. He shouldn’t have worried though, the hotel staff were efficient and courteous, rushing them through check-in and up to their room.
While Olivia showered, Nolan ordered two plates of nasi goreng and a pot of strong coffee. With Balinese efficiency, the food arrived in record time and was waiting for her when she got out of the shower.
“God, that smells delicious.”
Nolan grinned back. He had lost count of how many times the three of them had eaten the fried rice dish as they’d travelled around Asia. It became their go-to for any meal, always cheap and tasty whether they ate it from the street sellers, in restaurants, or hotels. “You hungry?”
“I am now.” Olivia pulled out the chair, grinning as she picked up her fork.
It was the first time in almost forty-eight hours that he’d seen her smile. “Come on then, eat up while it’s hot.”
Olivia’s mood seemed to have lifted since she’d showered; now she chatted incessantly to him talking about the memories the food evoked, sharing small anecdotes from their travels. He guessed it was nerves as she spooned in forkfuls of food and prattled on. Either way, he was relieved she sounded more like her old self.
Pushing his plate aside, he felt full and sleepy. The coffee had done nothing to perk him up and the exhaustion from traveling was settling in. Olivia’s eyes looked heavy, too. “How about I set the alarm for eight? That will give us plenty of time to get to our appointment.”
She yawned. “That sounds good. God, I’ve never felt so tired.” She climbed into one of the two queen-sized beds in the room. Nolan had a longing to climb in next to her.
He’d debated booking them two hotel rooms until Olivia pointed out it was a ridiculous added expense, especially as they’d likely be moving as soon as they had news of Lenny. In the end, a double queen seemed a good compromise. Reluctantly, he climbed into the other bed, his heart not as convinced by the compromise as his head had been.
After Hurricane Nina, Nolan's Resolution (Hot Hunks-Steamy Romance Collection Book 2) Page 9
