by Dana Pratola
“Andy, saddle Scout for me, will you?”
“Sure thing.”
When he hurried off, I turned to Tory. “You have that paperwork?”
“All ready. Just sign and I’ll fax it over to the insurance company.”
She knew how to handle the whole thing on the computer, she just enjoyed faxing things. She slid me the papers and a pen, and after scrawling on the Xs, I slid them back. Sandy reached over to help, but Tory snatched the papers away. Yeah, I planned to avoid whatever was going on between those two. I’d learned young enough to avoid commenting on someone else’s argument or breaking up fights, especially when either involved women.
“What are you doing here?” I asked Sandy.
She stuttered for five seconds before I turned to go.
“See you later,” I told Tory.
“Kash.”
I spun around and Sandy waved her hand.
“Never mind. I hoped we could talk, but I know you’re busy.”
I walked outside without a word. She was right. At the moment I was busy trying to keep my temper from rising again.
CHAPTER 30
Scout snorted and twitched his ears in the breeze, the left one pivoting back, tuning in, as I had, to a rider coming up behind us. I let my gaze wander farther out, taking in the prairie stretched like a green-brown canvas as far as the eye could see. It felt great to inhale deeply, filling my lungs with the scent of air, earth, and the distant promise of rain on the other side of the horizon.
Scout shifted me to his right as Ben and his bay, Tug, came up on our left. Tug, Scout’s brother, stayed with me most of the year. They were good together. Like me and Ben.
“A storm’s coming,” I said, without looking at him.
He nodded in my periphery. “Big one according to the weather service.”
We sat there in the quiet for more than a minute before I broke the silence. “I love her.”
“I figured.” Leather creaked as he adjusted in the saddle. “I didn’t mean to…. I hope you know why I did what I did.”
“For my good. Yeah, I know.” It started out sarcastic in my head, but rolled off my tongue as absolute truth. I did know. “And while I appreciate the gesture, butt the hell out next time.”
“I will, believe me. Jill ‘bout tore my head off when I told her.”
“So, you had to have your wife confirm that you acted like an ass?”
“No, I already knew that. Guess that’s why I told her. I knew I deserved a little dressing-down, and she knows how to do that.” He moved Tug forward where I had no choice but to look Ben in the face. “I expect it from you, too, I know I have it coming. Especially letting Sandy rile me up that way—I’m not blaming her,” he said, lifting a hand. “I’m responsible for my own stupidity. Just … I hope we can get by this.”
He paused, hoping I would say something, I guess. I didn’t feel like making it easy. He looked away for a second, then back.
“I looked for Brenna, to talk to her, but no luck. I went to the house, looked inside and out, everywhere, she was nowhere.” He looked across the field and sighed. “When I remember what I said to her, the way I acted…. I’m nothing but ashamed.”
I didn’t want to hear what all was said or done. I knew if I found out how it went, we’d both be rolling on the ground in a cloud of dust and blood and I wasn’t in the mood. Despite a few hours sleep I was still exhausted and I had to go see Brenna later.
“How is she?” Ben asked.
“I don’t know. I couldn’t find her either.”
“What?”
“I know where she is now, at the dry cleaner’s, so she’s fine.” Physically anyway. “I’m going to be there when she gets out.”
“Geeze, Kash, I’m so sorry,” he said.
I nodded.
“Still … at the risk of a punch in the mouth….”
“Careful,” I warned.
“I’m just asking if you’re going into this … emotions first. Know what I mean? Mistaking gratitude for love.” He held up a hand when I fired a look at him. “I don’t like asking any more than you like hearing it, believe me, and I know I’m risking our friendship—”
“Again.”
“Again,” he agreed. “But we wouldn’t have much of one if I didn’t look out for you.”
I tilted in the saddle and leaned forward. “Is that all for me, or more for you?”
“What?”
“Watching out for me all the time. I know we’re friends, yeah, but you can be a little much, and I’m thinking that has less to do with friendship and more to do with an obsession you took on when your brother died.”
The muscles in Ben’s jaw locked tight and he took Tug in a tight circle. Tug swished his tail, ears back. “You think I’ve been using you for some kind of substitute for Raif? He watched out for me, not the other way around.”
Well maybe he was trying to be the big brother he missed out on growing up. Hey, I wasn’t here to analyze the guy. Anyway, hearing the words aloud made me realize how ludicrous the whole thing sounded. This looking out had never been all one-sided anyway. We were friends, that was the end of it.
I took my hat off, ran a hand through my hair and replaced it. “I’m in a foul mood is all.”
His shoulders dropped an inch or so as he and Tug fell into step with Scout as I nudged him forward. “Been a rough couple of weeks,” he said.
We walked silently for another minute before I felt ready to address his original question.
“This isn’t about gratitude mistaken for love. Yeah, she helped me out when I was afraid, and I helped her out, too.” Though, offhand I couldn’t have said how. “And before you mention rebound, it’s not that either. Brenna’s a real, genuine person, and I’m attracted to her personality, not just the obvious physical stuff.”
“Mm hmm.”
“I admit under the circumstances it looks shady, but I trust her, Ben. Like I trust you.”
“Yeah, you’re a pretty good judge,” he said. “Except with Tracy.”
I chuckled.
“And Mac.”
I shook my head. “I knew what kind of guy he was, just didn’t expect him to crap where he ate.”
“And Brew.”
“Okay, you’ve made your point.”
“And Jim.”
“Thought you weren’t going to butt in anymore?”
“Just lookin’ out.”
The guy made me laugh, that he did.
While we were out, I saw a length of fencing that needed mending where an uprooted elm had busted it down. I had my pliers on me—always did out here—but that wouldn’t do the job, so I called Tucker and told him to grab someone else and head out this way. Ben suggested we try to stack some branches to discourage any cattle or horses from climbing through, but I knew the men would be out soon and I wanted to make those calls regarding the lawyer thing and catch Brenna before she left.
The wind whipped my shirt against my ribs and my hat was nearly caught away a couple times by a sneaky gust, a herald of what was coming. By the time we got back to the stable, the windows were already covered, and Vanessa was tuning the radio to a classical station.
“Classical this time?”
“The heavy metal was good, but last time Gable and Cheddar were moody for days after,” Vanessa said.
“The battery—”
“Is fine,” she interrupted. “I know my job, Mr. Kash. Windows covered, lavender in the diffusers, fans on to blow the scent around.”
“Lavender?” Ben rolled his eyes and dismounted.
“It works. Lowers their heart rate and helps keep them calm. Proven stuff.” She crossed her arms over her ample chest. “Call me a liar, I dare you.”
Ben held his hands up in surrender.
I laughed, dropping my feet to the ground and loosening Scout’s tack.
“This isn’t a spa,” Ben joked. “What next, pink glitter hooves and rhinestone beads in their manes? Maybe extensions in their tai
ls?”
“We do that anyway,” she said with a wink. “Anything else?” she asked me.
Nothing that I saw. We walked the stalls giving the horses a final check, seeing they all looked pretty settled, then Ben and I took care of our mounts and headed out, leaving the lights on.
“Guess I’ll get back to the family,” Ben said. Without waiting for a reply, he hugged me, knocking most of the wind from my lungs. “I’m sorry, man. I’m gonna talk to Brenna when I see her, too.”
“Okay,” I said, when he stepped back, allowing my lungs to reinflate.
“If you need anything, call.”
“Will do,” I said. He gave me a nod, his expression somber. I couldn’t have him leaving on that note. “We’re good.”
He grinned and gave me a slower nod, acknowledging he knew I was talking about our friendship, not the situation at the ranch. “Really. You need anything….”
I gave him a slap on the back and sent him on his way. It was time for me to get going, too. First a few calls, then a shower.
*****
My boss came in for the last half of the day and let me leave an hour early, so I told Eliza to pick me up ahead of schedule so she wouldn’t have to run around like a nut so soon before Charles showed up.
I wedged my bike in the trunk, and we went to her house. Despite her plans to the contrary, I would be staying only long enough to establish her pretext of wanting to help out a friend. It had been true at the time, and in her mind she was still helping me, but I didn’t need a babysitter.
Eliza’s disturbing building manager was sitting outside on the stoop when we pulled up, eying my arrival with careful suspicion, coming to full alert when we walked to the back of the car to lift my bike from the trunk. Of course, he made no move to help.
“Where are you going with that?” he asked, flicking his cigarette into the street, before coming to stand in front of my bike.
“We were going to leave it in the hallway, Stu,” Eliza told him, just to bust his chops. He was all about fire safety.
He shook his head. “I can’t let her. Fire hazard. Impedes egress.”
“I’m not laying it down so people will trip over it,” she said.
“Doesn’t matter. If there’s a fire and people panic, it can get in the way, maybe somebody catches their jacket on it and it falls and blocks the door.”
Eliza rolled her eyes. “That’s not going to happen.”
“How do you know?” Stu asked.
“When’s the last time this building caught fire?”
“Fires happen all the time. And if the fire department comes by on one of their random inspections, we could get fined.”
“Inspections? At night?”
“It happens.”
“No, it doesn’t. And by we you mean….”
“The building owner, yeah, then you’re in trouble. Maybe your rent goes up,” he added, like a brilliant idea had just struck him.
“Why would we pay more for a burned-out apartment?” she asked.
Stu scowled. “You joke, funny girl. What if you don’t survive the fire at all?”
She looked over at me. “Oh, then I’m definitely not paying more rent.”
I choked back a snort, trying to disguise it behind a cough. Stu turned his head to the side, scrutinizing me with the side of his eye.
“I’ll let you lock it to the outside of the railing,” he said, tipping his head to the iron rail behind him.
“I don’t have a lock and chain,” I said.
“Come on, Stu,” Eliza said. “This is the only transportation she has. Someone might steal it out here.”
Not unless they needed a prop for a Pee Wee Herman remake. “I won’t be staying long anyway,” I said. “Just a couple hours.”
Eliza took the handlebars from me and moved the bike around Stu. “Do you have any rope?”
“If you can tie a knot, anybody can untie it,” Stu said. “I have a lock and chain she can borrow. I’ll find the key by the time she leaves.”
“No.” All eyes turned to me. “Uh, don’t go to any trouble.” I wanted to be able to leave when I wanted, not have to rely on him as my literal key to freedom.
“Forget it. I’ll just bring it in the apartment,” Eliza said.
Stu paused, finally shrugged and walked away.
I wasn’t happy bringing the bike inside, where I couldn’t just slip away without a bunch of questions, but we got the bike into the apartment and I went to take a look through her dresser for something to wear when I got out of the shower. Everything I owned was back at the cabin. Everything, underwear and all.
I found what I needed, undressed and wrapped a towel around me. Since seeing Josiah’s truck, I felt hollow inside. Kind of like a disembodied soul floating around. Perfect. I couldn’t wait to step under the hot spray, hoping it would bring me back to some earthly connection.
“So, you know you have to talk to Josiah at some point, right?” she asked me, touching up her makeup at the vanity.
“I don’t know.” There was a good chance we’d never run into one another unless he came to my job and he’d been there today, but hadn’t made contact. Maybe it was his final farewell. “Why?”
“Because you love him. Are you just going to let that go?”
I actually wasn’t sure. “I don’t know if I can just forget that he intentionally deceived me. Until I know his reason. And how can it be anything other than spiteful?”
She started to say something else, but I moved past her into the shower, tossing the towel over the shower wall and closing the door between us. “You know what? I don’t want to talk.”
“Right,” she agreed. “He’s a jerk. Who needs to waste time on him?”
That wasn’t why. Charles would be here shortly and I didn’t plan on ruining their date by being the weeping girl in the corner. So, I’d get it out now in the shower. It didn’t count if my face was already wet.
CHAPTER 31
The store was dark. There was movement inside, but when I got to the door, it wasn’t Brenna. A man looked out, startled when he saw me, then came and opened the already locked door.
“We’re closed,” he said.
“I’m looking for Brenna.”
“She left early.”
“Oh? I was supposed to pick her up,” I lied. The guy already looked at me with some suspicion. “I might have the day wrong. I guess Eliza got her today,” I said, shrugging carelessly, hoping he couldn’t tell I was taking shots in the dark. He gave a short nod. All the confirmation I needed. “Wish I would’ve known. Save me a trip. Sorry to bother you.”
“No problem.” He stepped outside with me and relocked the door.
As he walked off, I turned back to my truck and dialed Eliza’s number, waiting until it went to voice message, then hung up. I hadn’t met a woman yet who let a call go to voice message unless she was avoiding the caller or didn’t have her phone handy—and… come on. I couldn’t accept that. I dialed again.
“Hello,” she answered, finally.
“Eliza. Please tell me Brenna is there.”
“Okay. Brenna’s here.”
My relief was palpable. I guess somewhere in the back of my mind I hadn’t been sure. My lungs filled with air again. “Can I talk to her?”
“No.”
“Please.”
“She doesn’t want to talk to you.”
“Please just tell her I’m on the phone.” I paused. She stayed silent. “Eliza, please tell her I need to talk to her. I know what Ben did. I didn’t know about any of it. He was wrong to treat her that way. He—”
“She doesn’t give a rat’s patootie what Ben did,” she said, cutting me off, harshly, then lowering her voice, probably so Brenna wouldn’t hear. “This is about you, what you did.”
She hung up, leaving me no choice. I needed to know where Eliza lived.
*****
I definitely understood why Eliza had flipped ponytail over shoelaces. I’d seen Charles ma
ny times, though never this close this long. He was more handsome the more I looked at him, with a perfect nose and warm hazel eyes. His voice was smooth and practiced, like he was afraid of saying the wrong thing so had rehearsed the words in his mind before setting them free. His body was still rangy and had yet to bulk up—not my preference—but he had a definite sweetness that drew people in. Eliza especially.
She stuttered more than once, asking him if he was comfortable with his place on the couch, if he wanted popcorn, something to drink, or anything else.
“Why don’t you just throw him down on the carpet and tell him you want to have his children?” I whispered when we’d stepped into the kitchenette for drinks.
She looked appalled and grabbed my wrist. “Am I being pushy?” she whispered back, urgently. “Does he think I’m coming on too strong? What do I do?”
“Rela—”
“And don’t tell me to relax,” she steamrolled over me. “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?”
I gave her a light squeeze and took two glasses of iced tea into the living room. Yes, I knew how long, and that every time Eliza had imagined this date, I doubted there’d been a third party involved.
So, I was thrilled when they decided to order food before the movie so we could eat during. No sooner had they left together to pick it up to bring back, than I made myself scarce, doing all in my power not to let Stu hear me roll my bike down the stairs or bang against the doors on the way out. Thankfully, I remembered to grab a throw blanket from the couch, and one of Eliza’s jackets from the closet. I tucked the blanket inside the jacket, zipped up and left.
Half way to the Wagoner house, I started to think this had been a really bad idea. The wind had kicked up considerably, disrupting trees and grass in every direction, carrying with it the pledge of rain. And more.
“Please, Lord, let me get inside before it hits,” I asked, just as the first raindrops landed with a splat on my head.
I pedaled harder, willing my legs to complete each circle faster than the one before as the thin knobby tires ate the ground to spit it out behind me. Unfortunately, I wasn’t leaving the doomsday clouds behind, rather heading directly into them. The sky lit with warning over the mountains. I pushed myself onward, my only goal—my sole obsession—to make it back to that house. Just another little way and the lightning wouldn’t find me hidden behind the crumbling walls and peeling paper.
