by Emma Renshaw
Gunner surprised us with an early fancy dinner, and then he surprised me with a night out on the town for just the two of us. I felt alive. More so than ever before.
“You looked stunning tonight,” Gunner murmured against my sensitive skin. “Have I mentioned that?”
I felt his lips curve into a smile, and I matched his with one of my own. “Once or twice.”
His hand ran up the outside of my thigh, tracing the slit in my forest-green dress, which made my eyes an even lighter amber color. The gold jewelry I’d paired with it brought out the amber and moss green undertones. The way his eyes had watched me throughout the night and his hands had roamed, I’d never felt more beautiful.
I hadn’t been able to take my hands off him either. He was dressed in all black, looking devilishly handsome. His thighs and ass filled out every inch of his pants, and I loved feeling the muscles beneath his shirt.
The elevator beeped, letting us off at our floor. I took one last glance at the city lights and followed Gunner to the even better view from our suite. It was quiet and dark. Jenna and Tucker had probably been in bed for hours.
“Think you can stay quiet?” Gunner whispered in my ear, running his hands up my sides to cup my breasts, plucking my nipples through the thin fabric.
“Yes,” I moaned in a quiet whisper. Gunner led us to the master bedroom of the suite while continuing to play with my body. He spun me before we reached the bed, and we toppled over together. We burst into laughter.
Gunner cupped my cheeks, bringing my lips just a breath away from his own as he stared into my eyes. His thumb caressed my cheek, and my hands ran up his chest. I wound one leg over his hip, bringing us closer together.
“I love you, Delilah.” His voice was a hoarse whisper as he brushed his lips over my own, but he never took his eyes away from mine, which swelled with tears. “I love you so damn much. I always thought any woman would come second to baseball, but everything in this world comes second to you and Tuck. I know you’re a package deal, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you, Delilah,” he whispered again.
In the quiet space between one heartbeat and the next, I fell for him. He’d become as essential to my life as the next heartbeat. “I love you too, Gunner.”
We collided in a frenzy of lips, hands, and love. His tongue glided against mine and I tasted him. All Gunner. He’d become my favorite flavor and the only flavor I’d never share, the one I’d keep all to myself.
He rolled me onto my back, getting on top of me without breaking the kiss, and pulled down the front of my dress, baring my breasts to him. I slipped the straps from my shoulders and down my arms, freeing myself of them, as my dress pooled at my hips. Gunner dipped his head, bringing a peaked nipple into his mouth, sucking and running his tongue over the tip. I arched and grabbed his head, urging him impossibly closer. My clit throbbed with each suck and begged for pressure. I canted my hips searching for it.
He lifted his head, sending me a salacious grin. “I’m using every minute until sunrise to taste your body.”
“I need you in me. I need you, Gunner,” I panted as he trailed kisses achingly slowly down my body.
“Not yet, baby.”
He pulled my dress off inch by inch and kissed and licked his way down. My nerves were in a frenzy, and I’d never been so wet.
I sat up, reaching for him, and pushed his jacket off his shoulders and unbuttoned his shirt. With a breathless laugh, he planted a kiss against my lips. “I fucking love you,” he whispered.
My hands clumsily unbuttoned every button before I reached for his pants. The zipper echoed around the room. I pushed his pants down his narrow hips, over his muscular thighs, and finally, he was gloriously naked in front of me.
I finally understood why older ladies called men dishes. Gunner Gentry was scrumptious. He knelt before me, sliding my dress and panties to the floor as he spread my legs, hooking them over his shoulders. I fell back on the bed, clasping a hand over my mouth to stay quiet as he slowly licked my pussy and slid a finger inside me. He added a second finger and my neck arched. My body was tingling.
My hands wandered to my breasts, plucking my nipples. I looked down my body and straight into Gunner’s fiery gaze. And with just one look from the man I had fallen for, I toppled over the edge into an orgasm. He lapped and sucked, wringing out each wave.
He prowled up my body, weaving his fingers in my hair and kissing me. His tongue moved inside my mouth, consuming me as thoroughly as he had the spot between my legs.
My nails raked against his back as he slid inside me with one long, deep stroke. His groan was guttural. “I’ll never get enough.”
He flipped us and grabbed my hips, digging his fingers into my flesh, and I rode him. With every downward stroke, my clit met his pelvis and I arched into him for more.
His hands wandered down my ass, squeezing each globe. I raked my teeth down the side of his neck. His hips met mine, hitting that place inside me over and over. Each thrust sent my mind reeling and left me gasping for breath until we came together.
I collapsed on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, kissing the top of my head. I’d never forget this day. After we cleaned up he held me and we drifted off to sleep whispering, “I love you.”
33
Delilah
Colt was in front of my house leaning against his police cruiser. He pushed his aviator sunglasses to the top of his head as we pulled up to the house. It was a brisk morning, and I’d been riding a high all morning after waking in Gunner’s arms.
Tuck launched himself out of the SUV and straight toward Colt. “I hit the ball so hard, Uncle Colt. It was almost a home run! At the Rattler stadium! Gunner said we can visit him at Spring Training. It sucks he leaves soon, but I can meet the guys! He said so!”
Gunner grinned as he helped me and his mom out of the car. Tuck was still telling stories about yesterday. I wasn’t happy Gunner would be leaving for a month and a half, but we’d visit. He’d be back before we knew it, and I was praying his mom would have news of remission by the time he returned.
I’d been planning how to make time to be her chemo buddy since Gunner would be gone. I needed to have a meeting with the staff and rearrange some schedules. We’d only been back for two minutes, and my mind was already headed toward my to-do lists for the kitchen.
“Gunner, will you take Tuck to the field?” Colt said. “I need to talk with D.”
Gunner glanced at me and I nodded.
“I’m going to nap,” Jenna said and headed toward Gunner’s cabin. “Don’t even ask, Gunner. I’m fine, just need a little rest.”
Gunner’s jaw tightened. I knew he was worried, and I was glad he’d been able to enjoy the day yesterday. He leaned down, kissing me on the lips. “Love you, buttercup.”
“Love you too, handsome.”
“Yuck!” Tuck said.
“Agreed, kid.” Colt made a gagging face and covered his eyes. “I told you I didn’t want to see that shit.”
“Come on, Tuck. Let’s go hit some balls. Got to keep up the practice if you’re going to be on the next generation of the Rattlers!”
Tucker sprinted ahead of Gunner, and Gunner jogged after him. I returned my attention to Colt. His palm rested on the back of his neck, one of his tells.
“What’s going on?”
“I saw Shayla yesterday.”
“What? Why didn’t you call me?”
“Come on, sis. Y’all were celebrating the day. I wasn’t going to call with some shitty news.”
I froze, my spine stiffening. I hadn’t heard from Shayla since the day she told me she was sober. She’d never called to meet and talk things through. And I’d kept my word. I didn’t go after her. I wouldn’t. I’d promised myself I would give her a little time and then I would hire the best damn lawyer out there to get Tuck’s adoption finalized, even without her consent. I didn’t know how, but I’d find the sharkiest lawyer and make it happen.
“Shitty news?�
�� I asked.
“The county was working together on a drug bust that crossed over several towns. I was staking out a place on Old Mills Road and saw her coming out of a drug house.”
I sighed, defeated.
“Was she arrested?”
“No, I had no proof she’d bought anything.”
My immediate reaction was to jump to her defense and say maybe she was there for something else. I didn’t do that though. I thought back to every interaction we’d had since I’d known she was back in town. Most of them had been laced with threats of burning my whole world to the ground. Only one had been positive. “She told me she was sober,” I whispered.
“Did you expect her to stay sober?”
“For Tucker? Yes.” I raised my voice. “I expected Tucker’s mother to stay sober so she could get to know him. Or at least have the opportunity to meet her son. Who wouldn’t want to meet him? He’s everything. I wish every day he were my biological son, but he isn’t—he’s hers! She promised she’d try!”
“I’m getting a restraining order in place. If she contacts you again, she’s going to jail and we will be done with her.”
“Shayla’s Tucker’s mother,” I hissed.
“You’re my mom.” His voice broke over the last whispered word, and I whipped my head around. Gunner was jogging down the path but hadn’t made it yet. What was Tucker doing here? Colt had asked Gunner to watch him, and this was why.
Why was he back?
“Tucker,” I said and stepped toward him. My heart splintered into a thousand pieces as he stepped away from me.
Gunner skidded to a halt. “What’s wrong?” He looked at me, with tears tracking down my cheeks. I didn’t answer or even look at him. He wasn’t my focus right now.
Only the little boy in front of me. My son. It didn’t matter that he hadn’t grown in my belly. It didn’t matter that I hadn’t given birth to him. I’d raised him. I loved him. I’d loved him every day. I’d give my life just so he could have one extra breath on this Earth. He was my son.
“You’re not my mom?” Tucker tilted his head and tears welled in his eyes.
Gunner sucked in a breath, completely taken aback by what Tucker had accidentally stumbled into when he should’ve been at the field.
“Delilah,” he said. I didn’t look at him. Only at my son.
“She is your mom,” Colt said.
“I heard her,” Tucker whispered, taking another step away from me and hitting Gunner’s chest. Gunner placed a hand on his shoulder but he whipped it off. “I heard her. Shayla is my real mom.”
Tucker choked on a sob. I rushed to him and crouched on my knees, but he moved away from me. “No,” he shouted. “You lied. You’re not my mom.”
Gunner knelt down next to me. “She is your mom. She…”
He stopped and looked at me. I finally returned his gaze, and he mouthed I’m sorry, before continuing to speak to Tucker. “She’s your mom in every way that matters. I swear, bud, she’s your mom.”
“You knew?” Tucker backed up again, only this time there was no one behind him. Tucker looked from me to Colt to Gunner. “I hate you. I hate all of you.”
He angrily swiped at the tears on his face before he spun and took off running down the dirt road. I tried to get up, but I slipped. Gunner reached out to stabilize me, but I shrugged him off and ran after Tucker.
“Tucker,” I shouted on a broken sob. “Tucker!”
I could hear Colt’s and Gunner’s footsteps racing behind me. Normally, they would have outrun me, but as a mother’s adrenaline coursed through me, they wouldn’t catch me and I’d never stop until I caught up to Tucker.
I kept shouting his name, chasing him. He never turned or acted as if he’d heard me. I ran and sobbed, sobbed and ran, all the way to my parents’ house.
He barged in through the front door, which they often left unlocked, and slammed it behind him. By the time I’d made it up the front steps, my mom had stepped out onto the porch. I collapsed into her waiting arms.
“He needs some time,” she whispered to me. “He’s safe. He’s with me. Give him the afternoon, honey. He’ll be home by tonight.”
I didn’t know what he’d said in the seconds before I’d made it here, but she already knew. I cried and clung to her, wrapping my fingers in her shirt. “Tell him I love him.”
It went against every instinct to leave him there while he was hurting but, on a deeper level, I knew I would only make it worse right now. I knew that my beautiful boy was hurting because of me, and that was the worst thing a mother could do.
“Delilah,” Gunner said, placing his hands on my shoulders. I turned around and kissed his cheek without meeting his eyes.
“I need to go home.”
“I’m coming with you.”
I shook my head. “I need to focus on Tucker. I…I need some time.” I stepped around him without explaining further and dodged Colt’s touch. And then I walked home alone.
“Tucker?” I leaped up from the living room sofa when I heard the front door open. Rattler chased his tail before running toward the door.
He stepped through the doorway, staring at me. His eyes were red-rimmed, and his cheeks were crimson. He’d been crying for a long time, and that tore apart my already fractured heart.
“Tucker,” I whispered.
He shook his head and left. I followed him down the hallway and watched him enter his room. I closed my eyes, sinking to the floor, and I heard the lock click into place, leaving Rattler and me on the outside.
“Did you eat?” I asked through the door, holding the tears at bay. “Tucker?” I asked when he didn’t answer.
“Yes.” He said the one word so softly, but it was one word. I hit my head against the wall and wondered if what I was about to do was the right thing. I needed a roadmap or a how-to guide. Something. Anything.
“You don’t have to say anything, bud, but I just want to explain a few things before I let you go to bed.”
I waited and hoped, but nothing happened. I swiped a tear rolling down my cheek and clutched the robe I’d put on as I waited for him to come home.
“If I had one wish or one superpower, I would choose to be your biological mother. And not because I would love you more than I do. It would be impossible to love you more than I already do. You are my heart. My living, breathing, out-of-my-body heart. I love you so much, bud.”
I covered my mouth, choking back the sob that threatened to break free. He didn’t need to hear me break down outside his bedroom door. Rattler lay down with his head on my thigh.
“Shayla, your birth mom, is my cousin. I know at some point you’ll have a lot of questions, and I want to answer all of those for you. She wasn’t able to take care of you, so I did. I was there the minute you were born. I was the first person in the world to hold you. I am your mom. You are my son. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing.”
Where did I even begin? What was appropriate for him to know? Where was that goddamn road map?
“I love you, Tucker. We can talk more tomorrow.”
I sat in silence outside his door for another hour. I could hear him moving around and settling into bed. I didn’t know if it was my imagination or if I could actually hear him through the walls, but I swear I heard his breaths even out as he fell asleep.
My butt was numb by the time I got up and dragged myself all the way down the hallway to my room. I crawled into bed and cried myself to sleep.
Rattler tugged on the sleeve of my robe. “Stop it,” I said and tried to pull it away. He barked and tugged again.
“Stop. Go to sleep.”
He pulled the sleeve of my robe and I heard it tear. I popped one eye open. “Seriously? You need to go outside. Right now?”
I sat up in bed rubbing my eyes, taking a deep breath that burned, and squinted. What the hell? It was smoky in my room. The air I was taking in was getting harder to breathe. I got out of bed, sliding on my slippers, and walked to the door. I froze and screamed.
“Tucker!”
The house was on fire.
Bright orange filled the crack under the doorway. I raced to the door, reached for the handle, and yelped when it burned me. I gathered my robe and opened the door. Flames were licking up the walls and ceiling. The hallway was filled with dark plumes. I raised my arm, blocking my eyes from the brightness and stinging smoke. Embers rained down from the ceiling, burning my exposed skin.
Rattler barked and backed away from the flames, but I had to get to Tucker. The smoke overwhelmed me and the heat felt suffocating. I needed more time. I needed more time. I fell to my knees crumbling under the pressure of the smoke and fire. The flames had gotten to me faster than I’d thought they would. I’d never imagined what a fire would be like, but I don’t think I could’ve concocted this sickening heat even in my wildest imagination.
I crawled along the carpet, coughing. My eyes were watering and everything felt constricting. Rattler was crouched next to me, not leaving my side. His warm body was nuzzled into mine as we crouched low and moved toward Tucker’s room. The hallway floor was singed.
“Tucker!” I tried to yell, but it felt like a hot poker was stuck down my throat. I could barely hear my own voice over the roar of the flames.
I kept crawling, but I was barely making any progress and blackness started to cloud my vision. And each breath was harder than the last. My lungs were going to burst. I was going to go up in flames with the house.
Rattler cried and pulled on my robe again.
“Delilah! Tucker!”
Gunner? I moved forward another inch, lost in the smoke. I didn’t know how far I had gone or how far I had to go. Everything was lost in the thick black plumes.
Suddenly I was swept into the air, and the flames were whipping by us. I couldn’t stop coughing as we made it outside into the cool night. The fresh oxygen felt like a gift and a curse.
