I laughed. “Y’all, I’m sure we only know one Theseus, so yeah, that’s the one.”
“How could I forget.” Treasure snapped her fingers. “Ares posted something on Facebook a couple weeks ago about them opening up a tattoo shop in Chicago. I just remembered.”
“Why didn’t you tell me they were coming here?” Layla asked her.
Treasure shrugged. “I just forgot.”
“Back to Ivy,” Jade blurted, sitting back down. “Have y’all fucked yet?”
I shook my head. “Not yet.”
Treasure leaned up in her seat. “Hold up. Layla said you got head and fell asleep. Were you talking about Theseus? Ohmygod, please say yes!”
I nodded. “Yes.”
Jade waved a finger at me. “I knew it. I knew that motha fucka would eat your juice box before slipping you that D. Remember that one day all the girls were busy when I’d visited home from college except you? That day where you dragged me to that sandwich spot that had just opened and Theseus was there?”
“Yeah, I remember.”
“I told you he was looking at you like he’d be satisfied if he could lick your pussy all day and nothing else?”
I sneered, shaking my head. Sometimes I wondered how I ended up with such unfiltered and outspoken friends. It wasn’t like I never cursed or blurted out a few things, but between Jade and Layla, I sounded like a saint. “But you were speculating back then. Him actually doing it is kinda throwing me off.”
“What do you mean?” Jade asked.
I poured me some more wine and took a sip. “Last night was amazing. I told him about the experiment and he said he’d help me out. He gave me this great full body massage, and next thing I know, we’re kissing, then he’s going down on me. I’m squirming to stay still because I had no idea a tongue could do some of the things he was doing to me. Then I’m waking up to a beautiful note on my pillow saying that he had to go because of a big client today, but that last night meant everything to him.”
Treasure clenched her heart. “That’s so romantic.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Layla asked.
“I don’t know. I guess I just wished I could have stayed awake so I could return the favor. But as much as I hate to admit it, it’s been so long that I’m not even sure I’d remember how to return the favor.”
“You mean sucking his dick?” Layla asked.
I got quiet, proving she was right.
Jade shook her head. “Sweetie, one doesn’t forget how to suck dick, and I made sure I taught you ladies how to suck good dick before y’all went to college.”
I laughed, thinking back to the crazy things Jade used to teach us. She was older than the rest of us, so she’d taken on an older sister role as did some of the other dance team members. I appreciated all of my squad members because it felt like I always had someone to get advice from. But, while Layla may be a freak, Jade was on a whole other level with her shit.
“Okay, so yeah, I may still remember how to suck dick, but I don’t want to just be average with it. I may only have a little over a week with Theseus, but I want to make the most of it.”
“I feel you,” Layla replied. “You want to give his ass something to remember you by after the experiment is over, right?”
“Well, yeah,” I answered. “Something like that.” I adjusted myself in my chair, tucking my right foot under my left leg. “Theseus still sees me as that girl next door. The one with the rules who used to be in Sunday school talking about marrying a prince after watching one too many Disney movies. I mean, come on, Simba was a lion and I was still obsessing over marrying him.”
“Don’t blame this on The Lion King,” Layla countered.
“Yeah, Simba was the shit,” Jade added.
Treasure rubbed my arm. “Sorry, chica, but that’s still you. All fairytales and butterflies. Which is why you working in adult film is pretty ironic.”
I shook my head. It never failed that one of them brought up my career, but that wasn’t what this was about. “Y’all know what I mean. I just need to brush up on my skills before I see him again. Today, he wasn’t at the shop, but he did text and ask if we could see each other tomorrow after work or before the crew and his brothers get to the shop.”
“Well it’s a good thing we’re all here because I have something for you ladies.” Jade stood up and dragged her big, black, glittered bag to the coffee table. “Layla gave me a heads up before I flew out here from New York and told me that I may be needed to drop some knowledge.”
She shuffled around her bag, giving us her signature Jade smile, letting us know that the night was about to get a helluva lot more interesting. “Now, y’all know as a love, sex, and relationship connoisseur, with emphasis on the sex part, I feel like it’s my duty to make sure my girls are always changing up their sex game. Especially since none of y’all heffas have tried out First Class Fantasy yet.”
“Um, hello,” Layla interjected. “When I was in New York last year for work I was there. Not a permanent member, but give me some credit for checking out the digs.”
“Wait, I thought members were supposed to be a secret?” Treasure asked. “That’s the whole point behind the organization. Right, Jade?”
Jade was the founder of a secret organization in which members sign a contract before finding a weekly fuck buddy to live out their wildest sexual fantasies. Members were required to wear body paint, sexy costumes, or masquerade masks to conceal their identity. Although I hadn’t been, I had heard from a few of our friends who were members that it was pretty damn amazing and so much like something we all figured Jade would create.
“They are supposed to be secret,” Jade told Treasure. “But some of the ladies run in the same circles. Plus, I was just teasing y’all. If you lived in New York, I’m sure you’d have checked it out by now. Layla’s excluded since she’s always rocking with my crazy ideas.”
“Thank you,” Layla replied. “You betta appreciate my efforts.”
Rolling her eyes, Jade laughed. “Anyway, back to the matter at hand.”
I was on pins and needles watching Jade shuffle around her bag. When she finally pulled out what she was looking for, I was dumbfounded. I was about to say something, but Layla beat me to it.
“Uhhh, no offense, sis, but I thought you were about to pull out some new sex toy. Not some fruit snacks.”
Jade popped open both cardboard boxes, ignoring Layla’s comment. “Y’all are familiar with Fruit by the Foot and Fruit Roll-Ups, right?” We nodded our heads as she pulled out one of each and set them in front of us, along with a banana.
“Well, you know how some girls can’t stand sucking dick? Like, they can’t get past the taste of semen, or if the man has a long and veiny penis, she may not be able to get into it because she’s damn near choking on it instead of enjoying the act of sucking.” Jade opened the Fruit Roll-Up and motioned for us to do the same. “The Fruit Roll-Up method solves all that and makes sucking dick a whole lot of fun for him and definitely for you. It’s been around for years, but I’ve been getting some of my members into it recently.”
I followed what Jade was doing and unwrapped the fruity treat. “Uh, call me crazy, but I don’t get how this helps when sucking dick.”
Jade smirked. “Look closely, ladies. First, you get it dressed.” She wrapped the Fruit Roll-Up around the banana, draping it in a way that looked like she was putting a sheet over furniture. Then, she unwrapped the Fruit by the Foot. “Then, you wrap it by covering the base of the dick with the Fruit by the Foot, making sure you can’t see any skin. Personally, I love to use both because, well, I’m extra.” She rubbed her hands across the entire banana, smoothing out any wrinkles. “And voila. There you have it. Dessert dick for the down to suck diva who hates the taste of semen.”
My eyes widened when she dipped her head to suck the banana for further demonstration. “Hold up.” I leaned forward in my chair. “You mean to tell me that women are wrapping their men’s penis in a scho
olyard sweet treat before going down on him?”
Jade stopped sucking. “That’s exactly what I’m saying. And now, you know exactly what you can do to prove to Theseus that you are not the same Ivy Ashwood that he remembers.”
“You are my favorite freaky bitch,” Layla said to Jade, blowing her a kiss. “And I love you for this. Can’t wait to try this out on my side piece.”
Jade high-fived Layla before turning to Treasure. “Tres, what are you doing?”
Treasure took a bite of her Fruit Roll-Up, while looking at her Fruit by the Foot that was randomly smeared in uneven pieces across her banana “I always sucked at arts and crafts. That mixed with sweaty palms was a making for disaster.” She looked closer at the banana. “Um, I don’t think I’ll be trying this method on a dude anytime soon. My banana looks diseased.”
Jade picked up Treasure’s banana as if it were contagious and placed it in a plastic bag. “Yeah, Tres. I’m not sure you understood the assignment.”
“I’m with Tres,” I exclaimed, even though my banana looked decently decorated in the red snack. “I’m not sure I can do this on Theseus. Seems more like something you do when you’re in a real relationship. Like, maybe a few months into it. I mean, aren’t you supposed to wait at least three months before giving a guy head? How will he know to take you seriously if you go down on him too fast? I didn’t think shit was like it is in the porn videos I work on daily. And what if he busts on my face? Sorry y’all, I personally am cool with sucking dick, but I can’t take a nut facial. I don’t care how good he looks.”
“She’s rambling again,” Jade whispered, causing Treasure to giggle.
Layla yawned. “Are you finished yet, grandma?”
I tossed one of the wrappers at her. “Chica, I’m for real! What if he hates it?”
“What if he loves it?”
I frowned. “What if I do it wrong?”
“Or are you more worried about doing it right?”
Damn. She had me there. Layla waited for me to respond, and when I didn’t she stated, “Sis, now is not the time to overthink this. The man licked your coochie and then tucked you into bed. So for now, let’s get ready for the club and you worry about pleasing Theseus later. Deal?”
I doubted that I’d be able to think about anything other than Theseus, but she was right, I needed to put my thoughts about him on pause. Though my voice didn’t even sound convincing when I announced, “Deal.”
Chapter 10
“Be a magical unicorn! Unicorns shit rainbows. Rainbows bring treasure. And let’s face it, who doesn’t like to find treasure?”
~ Layla ~
IVY
“This place is packed,” Jade yelled after we’d checked our jackets and walked onto the main floor of the downtown club.
Treasure upturned her nose. “A little too packed if you ask me.” She stepped to the right as a couple of ladies who’d had too much to drink brushed against her as they stumbled past us. I held back a laugh since Treasure disliked crowds, especially the clubbing crowd. “Are we sure we should be here? Looks like this crowd is twice as big as the space. Wonder how many fire laws they are breaking.”
“You’ll be fine,” Jade told her.
“It’s usually not this crowded,” Layla explained. “But whenever Sean Mac is the DJ, folks in Chicago know it’s gonna be a good time, so they show up and show out.” She glanced over the mass of people. “Come on. I want y’all to meet a few friends.”
We made our way through the crowd, stopping when we were to the left of the dance floor. Layla squealed when we reached her friend Meeka and introduced her to Jade and Treasure first. When Meeka’s eyes landed on me, she smiled.
“If it isn’t the porn star,” Meeka yelled over the music.
I shook my head. “Girl, I just work at Black Lush. I’m not the talent.”
She shrugged. “I know, but porn star sounds more fun! Bring it in.” She wiggled her fingers and pulled me in for a hug, both of us laughing because Meeka was so … Meeka.
Next, Layla introduced us to Zahir and Kelani who were super cute together, all boo’d up and whatnot.
“And this is Tone, Meeka’s boyfriend,” Layla continued. “Call me the crazy fifth wheel, but this group keeps me sane here in Chicago.” We all exchanged pleasantries as much as we could in a crowded club until a guy ran into Meeka causing her to stumble in her heels, then acted like it was her fault, not his.
“Excuse you!” she yelled.
“Excuse me, nothing,” he said, giving her back some lip.
“You owe me an apology,” she told him.
“I don’t owe you shit, bitch.”
At the guy’s statement, Tone walked over to Meeka’s side. “Do we have a problem here?”
“Mind ya business playa,” the guy said, his friends standing behind him. “This broad just don’t know her place.”
“Her place?” Tone stepped closer to him, Zahir right beside him. “Sounds to me like you called her out of her name and for that, you and I have a problem, bruh.”
“Hold up.” The guy looked from Tone to Meeka. “You that crazy ass psycho that was on that show wit’ her exes. Yeah, I knew you looked familiar.” He smacked his tongue over his teeth. “I mean, since you giving out your sour milk for free, I got an empty glass. You ain’t all that, but I’d hit. Matter fact, I think you approached me once in this club before, but I only fucks wit’ classy chick’s wit’ tight pussy’s, and yo’ shit been run through by every nigga in the city.”
People around us had started to listen only amping up the disrespectful dude. It even sounded like the DJ lowered the music, but it could have just been my imagination. Tone stepped between them, clearly ready to put the asshole in his place, but Meeka stepped in front of Tone before he could say anything.
“Nigga, I don’t want you. Honestly, I think you wrong for subjecting every woman in this club to yo’ ugly ass.” The crowd did a wave of ohh’s, but Meeka wasn’t finished. “How you look like a car ran over your face, then put that bitch in reverse, but you walkin’ around here wit’ pretty boy tendencies. The shit just ain’t right. Your friends over here didn’t tell you how busted you look?”
“Here we go,” Layla whispered to me. “She’s about to lay into his ass.”
I lifted an eyebrow. “Even more than she already is?”
“Yep.” Layla nodded and leaned to Jade and Treasure as well. “She usually won’t say these in public, but when she does that head twist, you know you about to hear one of her ratchet rhymes.”
“Ratchet what?” Treasure asked. I wanted to ask for a repeat myself, but didn’t need it once Meeka dug in her purse and took out her compact mirror with a bedazzled unicorn on the back of it, before looking to the guy.
“Mirror mirror on the wall. Who is the least attractive asshole of them all? Can you do me a favor while we’re all in this place? Help Mr. Ugly Ass fix his stupid ass face. He suffers from short man syndrome with a small dick no doubt.” She closed the mirror and pointed to his crotch. “But small dick bastards can’t help it if they slip out.”
“Uh … Uh …” The man glanced around, stumbling over his words before he finally spit out, “You dirty ass trick. No one wants you because you ain’t shit.”
“Ha!” Meeka laughed. “You got more or you still tryin’ to find your words?” I stifled a laugh as Meeka placed her hand on her chin, her eyes widening. “Damn, it took me a minute, but I do recognize you. You should have been careful because I heard about of you boo boo. You that asshole from Blue Island and word is, you creepin’ on the low. Yet, you managed to fix your mouth to call me a hoe?” The crowd was listening to every word and dude looked uncomfortable as hell.
“Feels like I’m watching an episode of Wild n’ Out,” Treasure voiced.
“You mean, the Wild Style battle,” Jade corrected. “That’s the best part of the show.”
“Nah, just Meeka doin’ Meeka,” Layla added. “Hood classy and all.”
M
eeka glanced around, while the guy started looking even more nervous. “Wait, is the man you cheated on your fiancé with in this club tonight? He flirted with another dude or something, so you in here picking fights? I know your ex girl and trust me, she deserved betta. Homie got stuck with a closet dude still wearing FUBU sweaters.” She flicked at his sweater and no lie, it did have the FUBU logo on it. “Man, I’m done with you clown. The source of a good joke is all you’ll ever be. And next time you wanna be disrespectful, read the dictionary before you come for me.”
With that, she flipped him off with a high-pitched, “Byeeee, with yo’ uh … uh … stuttering face ass,” and walked away, leaving a wake of laughs behind her. The guy stood there looking embarrassed for a few seconds, before nodding to his friends and exiting the club.
Meeka smiled after he left. “Sorry about that ladies. It usually takes at least an hour of hanging out with me before folks see that side, but tonight is your lucky night.”
“Was that stuff about him true?” Jade asked. “The part about his ex.”
Meeka nodded. “Yeah, it was. Took me a minute to place him, but when I did, I saw the moment he realized he’d fucked with the wrong one.”
Zahir shook his head. “Damn, sis. You hurt my feelings putting him on blast like that.” Zahir turned to Tone. “Your girl is crazy.”
Tone pulled Meeka to him and kissed her forehead. “Yeah, she is. I tried to put a muzzle on her ass, but couldn’t find one in rose gold diamonds, so she wasn’t goin’.”
Meeka shook her head. “A chick like me will be dolled up in sparkling rose gold diamonds or nothing at all.”
We all laughed, the vibe going back to what it was before the incident. Conversation easily flowed between us all since we’d all heard plenty of stories about each other through Layla.
I ended up talking to Zahir, Kelani, and Tone the most while Layla and Meeka kept Jade and Treasure entertained with whatever insane stories they were sharing. The group took turns going to the bar for drinks and the energy was just what I needed tonight. When Zahir and Kelani went to get drinks, Tone and I were able to chat more about working behind the scenes in film and television.
Bad Decisions Good Regrets (Social Experiment #2) Page 9
