by Mara Wells
Danielle’s fists clenched at her sides, balled up like she wanted to hit something. And she did want to hit something. Something named Knox. “You. Left. Me.”
“You let me leave.”
“I let you leave? What was I supposed to do that I didn’t? I called; I emailed. I talked to your mother for God’s sake, and for what? For nothing. She told me you were relieved to go, and I should leave you alone.”
“She said that to you?” Knox’s stare pinned her in place. “When?”
“Back then. I told you.” Danielle waved her hand. The past was the past. “My point is that I had to learn what battles to fight, and so do you.”
“Mom never told me she talked to you.” The paper fell from Knox’s hand. “What did she say?”
“After telling me how lucky I was?” Danielle was surprised at how fresh that long ago hurt still was. “She told me to take a hint, that your no response was a response and I needed to move on.” Danielle swallowed. “She wasn’t wrong.”
“Yes, she was. And so was I.” Knox pushed himself to standing. “I’m sorry if me being an asshole back then convinced you not to fight for yourself, but, Danielle, you could have so much more in your life. Why don’t you want more?”
“How did this become about me?” Danielle swiped at her suddenly wet eyes. “Of course I want more. But what’s the point? You’re leaving. I should’ve known from the start you wouldn’t stick around.”
“You’re the one running from me. I’ve tried to be understanding, to give you space.” Knox’s hands fisted in his lap. “But it’s clear you don’t think of me as long-term material. Is it really about what happened in the past, or is it about my leg? You heard the doc; it’s never going to get better.”
“You think I care about your leg?” Danielle’s voice rose. So much for gratitude. “I love you, you idiot. Including your leg.”
“Then what the hell has been going on since the reception?”
“You thought I was avoiding you because of your leg?” Danielle closed her eyes, not sure if she should laugh or cry. Or both. At the same time.
Knox raised his hands shoulder-height, palms up. “Why else?”
Then she did laugh, a sound so hard and brittle she didn’t recognize it as her own. “Why else? Why else?” She bent over, hands on her knees, wheezing out that hard, brittle laugh until her lungs hurt.
“Why are you laughing?” Knox’s voice got very quiet. “Dani, are you okay?”
She straightened. “Why else you ask? Atlanta, Knox. When were you going to tell me? Or were you going to disappear one day, send me a text from the road? What about Sarge? Planning to give him back?”
“I would never leave Sarge behind.”
The words were out. Danielle thought she could almost see them hanging in the air. She dropped forward, head to her knees, like the plane she was on was about to crash. If only it were that simple—a machine falling from the sky, oxygen masks deploying to save her life. But nothing dropped from the sky to help her. She gasped for air.
“But you’d leave me. Good to know where I am in your ranking.” She sniffed, loud and long, refusing to let the tears out. Not in front of him. Knox didn’t deserve them. He’d just admitted his dog, the dog she’d given him, meant more to him than she did. This was why she should’ve kept her mouth shut, gone along like she didn’t know, let him walk away again without a fuss.
“I was going to ask you to come with me.”
Danielle didn’t want his pity-revisionist history. “Right, that’s why you never mentioned the job offer. Your plans. Because you wanted me to know.”
“I was going to ask you.” Knox knuckled his thigh, squeezed his eyes shut, then opened them again. “I was afraid you’d say no.”
Danielle kept her face hidden. “Too late now, I guess. You’ll never know what I would’ve said.”
“Dani, come with me to Atlanta. At least consider it, will you?”
Danielle sucked in one long breath and crossed the short distance to where he sat on the table. She placed her palm against his cheek. “No.”
“No?”
“You’re right to leave, and I’ll let you go when it’s time. We never had a future.” Her hand slid down his neck, down his arm. Her fingers traced the letter of his Semper Fi tattoo. “What I do want is for it not to end until you go. Can we enjoy these last weeks together?”
“Am I allowed to try to change your mind?” He palmed her waist and pulled her toward him.
“You can try. It won’t work.”
“As long as I can try, we have a deal.”
Danielle let her forehead collapse onto Knox’s chest, snuggled it right into the dip that fit her cheek so perfectly. “Deal.”
He ran his hand down her back. “That’s my girl.”
And that was her problem, wasn’t it? She was his girl, and pretending she could walk away at any time wasn’t going to change the basic truth about her universe. At least she’d have more memories of him to revisit once he was gone. She could be mad at him later. For now, it was enough to stand in the circle of his arms.
The doctor cleared his throat, alerting them to his return. “I called in a new med for you to try, and here’s a re-up on your PT. I’d like you to try some water therapy.”
“Water therapy?” Knox kept his arm around her, and Danielle didn’t mind one bit.
“Your physical therapist can show you some things to do in the pool that might help. Do you have access to a pool?”
“He does.” Danielle smiled at the doctor for offering an option, for giving her something to do besides worry about a future without Knox in it. She was excellent at rehabilitation programs. Her experience was mostly of the canine variety, but having a patient who could speak would only make things easier, right? “I can help.”
Knox’s grip on her tightened. “You don’t have to.”
She tilted her head to meet his gaze. “Let me fight this with you, Knox. We can have this much at least.”
“You’re dangerous,” he said and kissed her forehead. “Okay, Doc, you heard her. Tell us what we need to do.”
Chapter 33
Danielle felt Knox’s gaze burning through the thin material of her bathing suit like the bright hibiscus print wasn’t even there and all he could see was her walking toward him naked. The modest one-piece covered all the important bits and had a panel for flattening the jiggly bits, but she still fought the urge to cross her arms protectively over her stomach. The heat in his eyes stopped her. It didn’t matter that she didn’t look like one of the hordes of wannabe models flocking the South Beach shores. This was Knox, and he loved her body. Always had. Nothing made her feel sexier than the way he looked at her.
So she let her arms hang at her sides, her stomach tightening in anticipation. She was supposed to be helping him with his physical therapy, but heat flushed his cheeks in a way that let her know he was as moved by her as she was by him. His reaction didn’t just surprise her. It delighted her. She wanted her body to please him the way his strength pleased her. It was less than three weeks until he started his new job in a new state, and she was all about making the most of the time they had left.
“Shall we?” She brushed by him, preceding him into the pool. She sucked in a sharp breath when the cool water hit her belly. The water was usually warmer this late in June, but overcast weather had cooled the water the past few days. She ignored the cold. Knox needed her. Or at least he needed her dad’s pool to stay active and follow his PT schedule in an environment that kept stress off the injury.
Behind her, Danielle felt Knox enter the pool. The water around her seemed to warm at his presence. She stepped farther out, until the water covered her breasts, before turning to him.
“Lie back.” Her fingers under the water’s surface curled in invitation.
“Thought you’d never ask.”
He gently kicked off from the bottom and straightened out his body until he was floating less than a foot from her. She stood behind his head, holding her fingers lightly against the back of his neck, digging in where she felt tightness. He groaned, and she dropped her hands.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“It only hurts that you stopped.”
Tentatively, she put her fingers back in place, and he stretched his neck to give her better access.
“Heaven,” he rumbled, opening his eyes. “And the view’s even better.”
Danielle smiled down at him, for once not overly conscious about how her breasts bobbed in the water. Other men commented about her assets in ways that made her feel uncomfortable, but when Knox did it, she felt nothing but appreciated. She was glad someone enjoyed them, given all the trouble they were and the expense of bras up to the challenge of such heavy lifting. She’d miss that about him. Another thing to add to her growing list.
“Join me.” He used his big toe to push off the side of the pool, a move that sent him leisurely floating away from her.
Danielle leaned back to float, too. Knox swung an arm out and linked their pinkie fingers.
They floated. She chatted idly about the conference this weekend in Orlando where she was hoping to learn more about running a rescue operation as a business rather than a hobby. He listened, even offered to keep an eye on the puppies for her. It was so normal, so every day, that Danielle couldn’t stop smiling. The heat still simmered between them, arcing through the water, but there was a comfort in it. The reliability of it. In the few days after the doctor’s appointment, they’d gotten closer—discussing his physical therapy, finishing up the registration and actually hitting Pay for her first college class, playing with the puppies. He’d taken to bringing Sarge over in the evenings and staying the night. It should’ve felt crowded in her little cottage, but it felt just right.
The dogs paced the poolside, anxious. Eventually, they settled down, collapsing on the covered patio with a loud exhale. White clouds, fluffy and fake-looking as a child’s drawing, floated overhead.
“Do you see that one?”
Danielle didn’t know which direction to look because Knox hadn’t pointed.
“Doesn’t it look like a dog?”
Then she saw it. A tall, thin cloud with what looked for all the world like a long muzzle and even longer tail.
“It does.” Danielle smiled. “I always see dogs in the clouds.”
“You would.”
The pool water flowed toward the skimmer, gently pulling them along. They drifted with no effort. It was a metaphor, she thought, for their relationship. Floating along until the drain sucked them in and ripped out her guts.
Knox let out a long sigh, the kind that sounded like months of pent-up feelings being released. “Best PT ever.”
“PT hasn’t even started yet.”
Another sigh, this one softer and more resigned. “A few more minutes.”
“A few more minutes.” Danielle was in no hurry to go anywhere. The water made her weightless, a sensation she never got tired of. Her free hand flapped occasionally in the water, steering her closer to Knox, and a soft wind pushed the clouds slowly across the sky. Her cloud dog stretched until it looked more like a snake than a hound.
“Hey.” Knox’s fingers squeezed hers. “This brings back some memories, doesn’t it?”
Wet, hot memories flooded her mind. Yeah, eighteen-year-old versions of them had certainly spent some time in this pool.
“I don’t recall ever floating calmly, chastely holding hands like this.”
“No. My hands were definitely otherwise occupied in those days.” He chuckled and tugged her closer so that they floated side by side, their body heat warming the few inches of water between them.
Without warning, her breasts ached, and she knew the only relief they wanted was the pressure of his hands on her. She forced herself to take long, steadying breaths. She was here to help. Physical therapy assistants did not plant their feet on the pool floor and throw themselves at their client for long, soul-drugging kisses. No matter how many times her mind played the image, she would keep her hands to herself. Except the hand he was holding, of course.
“Come on. Let’s do the exercises.”
Knox’s words startled Danielle out of another replay of the time he’d sat on the second step with her in his lap, and they’d kissed until her dad had come out the back door in his droopy swim shorts and scared the bejeezus out of them with a disgruntled “My eyes, my eyes! I’m too young to be a grandfather.” Danielle had sunk into the water, quickly tying her bikini top back in place. Knox stayed on the step, his normally fair skin flushed redder than a sunburned Canadian tourist enjoying the beach on Thanksgiving Day.
Today, her dad was at the clinic, and she and Knox were all grown up. She forced her thoughts away from all the carnal possibilities and back to the task at hand. Physical therapy. Helping Knox get stronger. So he could leave her—which is what she wanted, she reminded herself. They’d decided, hadn’t they?
Danielle let her feet drop to the pool floor. “Shall we start with the stretches?”
Knox grunted his consent. They braced their hands against the edge of the pool and started the sequence the therapist had made him practice at the VA on his last visit. Danielle kept an eye on him for any signs of distress, but his face was as stoic as ever. Not by a single muscle twitch did he betray even the slightest sign of pain. What a tough job his physical therapist had, trying to figure out how far was too far with men who’d been trained to give everything they had, no matter the personal cost.
“Need a break?” Danielle leaned her head against the pool edge after they’d finished the third set of stretches.
“I’m fine.” Knox’s face might as well have been carved from the Diamond Brite coating that lined the pool’s surface.
“Sorry.” Danielle lifted one side of her mouth in a half smile. “Let me rephrase. I need a break.”
“Oh.” Knox’s whole face changed. Gone was the stone-cold Marine. Knox’s eyes, bluer than the tile around the edge of the pool, narrowed as he studied her. “You okay?”
“Sure. Just need a breather.”
“Why don’t you sit on the step?”
Her mind flashed back to that long ago day, and the words popped out without her full consent. “I will if you will.”
It didn’t seem possible, but Knox’s eyes grew darker. Maybe he remembered, too. “Come on, then.” He took a seat on the second step and patted his lap.
Danielle settled on his thighs, wiggling into a comfortable position wedged close against his body. She leaned her head back so that it rested on his shoulder. Knox’s arms came around her waist and latched in front of her.
“This is nice.” She rolled her head, and her neck cracked. She hadn’t realized how tense she was. She rolled her head in the other direction, and her neck cracked again.
Knox growled something.
“Pardon?” She twisted her head but found herself staring at the side of his neck, which didn’t exactly shed light on his expression.
“It’s not nice.”
Danielle jackknifed forward. “Sorry.” She started to get off his lap, but his grip around her waist kept her in place.
“That’s not what I meant. Dani, about this agreement we have—”
“Yeah?” Danielle knew what those words meant. She told her heart not to break, that it would be better to rip the Band-Aid off. It didn’t listen to her, and she thought she could actually feel it cracking open. “Coming to your senses already?”
“Stop it.” He pulled her against his chest and rested his chin on her shoulder. “What I mean is I can’t help but think that this could be our future. Together.” He buried his face in her shoulder. “And I can’t stop thinking about this.” His lips kissed the
ir way up her neck until he could tug at her earlobe with his teeth.
“You think about my ears?” She tilted her head back.
“I think about all of you. About how all of you should come to Atlanta with me.” His hands splayed over her belly and inched their way up.
If her breasts could talk, they’d be screaming Yes! But they couldn’t, so Danielle scooted back another inch to give him better access. She felt his desire for her against her back and she pretty shamelessly rubbed herself against him. He groaned, so she did it again. Then she turned so their mouths were close enough to kiss.
“You know why that’s a bad idea.”
“I’m going to have to disagree with you on that. I have some thoughts.”
“Later?” Danielle was all about putting off the pain and grabbing the pleasure right now. “I’m not exactly in a talking mood right now.”
His answer was a fierce kiss, one that sent flames racing through her veins. She was surprised the pool water didn’t start boiling around them. She twisted, running her hands down his torso, enjoying the dips and edges of his muscles, the way they tightened and flexed under her touch.
One of his hands slipped over her breast, and the other found its way under the leg of her one-piece suit and cupped her mound. She moaned into his mouth and gave up on any last bit of rational thinking.
“Is this okay?” he broke from their kiss to ask.
“Please.” Sentences were beyond her at this point.
“Thank God.” The breath whooshed out of him, and she was close enough to breathe him in. Then his mouth was on hers again, and she forgot that they were outside, in the pool, in the middle of the day. It was just Knox and her, and it was perfect.
* * *
Danielle melted in his arms. There was no other word for it. Her body relaxed under his touch, giving him full command of her senses. Knox felt eighteen again, a little amazed and a lot turned on that she trusted him to touch her like this. But he also felt his age and experience. He wasn’t fumbling around anymore, hoping to get something right. He might’ve spent over a decade away from her, but he remembered how to touch her. Had spent recent nights studying her every reaction, every sigh, every flex of her muscles. She shifted, restless, and he smiled into her hair. She’d always been so responsive. He was glad that hadn’t changed. He changed the rhythm of his stroke, and she arched against him. Yes, she was his.
