by Jody Hedlund
I scrambled toward my sword. But before I could reach it, Theobald screamed out. I spun to see that Maribel had plunged a dagger into his back. Somehow during my struggle with Theobald, she must have regained consciousness enough to crawl to the bowman, pull out his dagger, and now had used it to help save me.
She took a quick step away from Theobald, her face filling with horror, her eyes wide upon the weapon protruding from him.
Theobald’s pain seemed to turn him into a rabid animal. He bellowed, then swung out and slapped Maribel’s face with the back of his hand. She cried out and fell to her knees, blood spurting from her nose.
I used the moment of his distraction to pick up my sword and leap toward him. As I raised my weapon against him, he pivoted and met it with his own. Even with a dagger in his back, I only needed one parry to realize his sword-fighting skills surpassed mine. Although I could defend myself well enough, I sensed I wouldn’t win this battle unless I wore him down. With his blood loss and injury, it was my only hope.
I heard Barnabas growl before I saw him. I didn’t have time to tell him to stay away. He attacked Theobald from behind. At the moment the wolf sank his fangs into Theobald’s thigh where he lacked chainmail, I realized my animal friend was offering up his life for mine, for he would surely sustain mortal wounds unless I disarmed Theobald.
With a shout of protest, I lunged toward Theobald just as he pivoted to strike Barnabas. The momentum of my hit forced Theobald’s sword out of his hand. It clattered to the ground and skittered away from him.
I sliced my sword into Theobald’s fighting arm and then gorged his other, incapacitating him. All the while, Barnabas dug his fangs in deeper.
As I withdrew my sword and prepared to strike another blow, Theobald buckled to the ground and tried to crawl away. But he was weakening from his injuries and couldn’t get far before Barnabas growled and tore into Theobald’s thigh in a different spot, causing the captain to cry out again.
“I’ll have the wolf rip you apart in little pieces!” I yelled. “It will be a slow, agonizing death, just the kind you deserve after the way you tortured my father.”
“No, Edmund!” Maribel stared at Barnabas and Theobald, her face pale, almost sick.
“He deserves it,” I said bitterly. I growled low in my throat and told Barnabas to feast upon Theobald’s flesh.
The wolf growled in response and began to tug at Theobald’s leg, wrenching it back and forth as though to cleave it from his body.
“Edmund, please!” Maribel turned her eyes upon me with the full weight of her revulsion. “You are a better man than this, than him.”
I watched as Theobald writhed with agony, his blood pooling on the rocks beneath him. I was justified in seeing him die this way, wasn’t I? He’d brutally killed my family. And he’d admitted to murdering my grandfather. Surely, he was better off dead so he could no longer inflict his terror upon innocent people.
Barnabas again tore viciously at Theobald, this time lower in the leg. The captain arched up in agony, his breath and moans gurgling in his throat.
Maribel’s blue eyes pleaded with me. Tears streaked her cheeks, along with the blood that trickled from her nose. “I understand why you want to hurt him. But giving in to revenge will not release the bitterness. Revenge only feeds the hate until it grows like mold, turning your heart black.”
I didn’t care about my heart turning black. All I wanted was for Theobald to die a torturous death. But Maribel’s tears moved me. I didn’t want to disappoint her, didn’t want her to look at me with revulsion any longer, didn’t want to lose her trust and faith—not when I needed to win her love.
My muscles tightened with resistance, but I somehow managed to order Barnabas to pull back. He ceased his slow torture and glanced up at me, his sharp teeth still deep into Theobald’s calf. Blood covered his snout and fangs. His eyes were wild, and he growled a protest. He’d already gotten the taste of blood and didn’t want to let go of his prey.
His instinct mirrored mine, but I issued another command, this one sharper than the last.
The wolf reluctantly released Theobald, who now lay motionless on the ground. If he wasn’t unconscious yet, he was close to it and would soon die, whether Barnabas killed him or not. The captain had already lost a great deal of blood, his injuries were severe, and he was alone and separated from his men.
Barnabas raised his head toward me. I praised him for saving my life, for helping to protect Maribel, and then I gave him the freedom to return to his family.
The wolf hesitated. I appreciated his loyalty and friendship. But he’d done more than enough for me over the past week. It was time for me to discharge him from any further obligation so he could live at peace. If he continued with me into Norland, I feared what might happen to him.
With a final good-bye, Barnabas trotted off and disappeared among the boulders as if he’d never been there.
Chapter
18
Maribel
Edmund scooped me up like a rag doll. I didn’t protest since my legs felt as if they were made of flax. Though I’d readjusted my arm and shoulder, the area still burned as did my nose, which thankfully wasn’t broken. I was also weak with relief—relief that Edmund and I were safe and relief that he’d stopped Barnabas from torturing Captain Theobald to death.
Perhaps the captain did indeed deserve to die for his crimes. However, torturing him wasn’t the answer. If Edmund had continued, his actions would have caused a stain upon his conscience that would have haunted him forever.
When we returned to the sight of the skirmish, Christopher and Adelaide met us, their faces creased with worry. Edmund explained what had happened, and Firmin and several of his strongest guards rushed off to retrieve Captain Theobald, but upon finding him dead, they left his body for the vultures.
After wiping the blood from my face, I set to work cleaning and stitching Edmund’s neck. When I finished, I moved on to doctor the other soldiers who’d sustained wounds. With Adelaide’s medical man, Darien, injured, no one complained or resisted my ministrations.
From what I gathered, Sheba’s warning of the impending assault had allowed our rebel group to take an offensive position. They’d been able to attack King Ethelwulf’s men first. The unexpected frontal assault had pushed the king’s men back until finally the few soldiers who hadn’t been struck down managed to escape.
“He is not one of ours,” Adelaide called to me as I knelt in front of a wounded soldier who had propped himself against a rock. His ankle was twisted at an odd angle, and blood had pooled underneath. One of his arms also appeared to be broken, and he had a large gash on his forehead.
The soldier eyed me warily. Beneath the grime of travel and battle, his features were boyish, and I guessed he was my age or younger.
“Leave him,” Adelaide said from where she and the others had begun to ready their horses. “His own will come back for him eventually.”
“Then I shall staunch the blood flow to ensure his survival.” I was already rifling through my medical bag for the supplies I would need.
I glanced to the battle area where a handful of enemy soldiers moaned in pain. Then I returned my attention to the young man in front of me. “Have no fear,” I said gently. “I only want to help you.”
I worked quietly for a few moments, feeling the boy’s eyes upon me. When he stiffened, I glanced over my shoulder to see Adelaide standing behind me, her knife drawn. “You are disregarding my orders, Maribel.”
“I cannot ignore these men.”
“They are the enemy.”
“Holy Scripture and our Lord Himself implores us to love our enemies and bless those who persecute us.”
Adelaide was quiet for a moment, hopefully contemplating the Lord’s command. Then she sighed. “We need to be on our way.”
“We can spare a few more minutes, can we not?”
Again, she was silent. I could sense her men watching our interaction, waiting to see what the queen wo
uld decide. “Very well, Maribel,” she said. “I shall spare you half an hour longer. King Ethelwulf may still have additional men in the area, and we cannot let down our guard.”
I wanted to protest that I needed more time than that, but before I could, she knelt beside me. “It is not long, but with my aid, you will be able to accomplish more.”
Her intense gaze met mine. There I saw a mixture of both compassion and kindness. “Instruct me on what to do, and I shall be your assistant.”
My heart swelled with gratefulness. And for the first time since meeting my sister, I knew I’d love her. Heretofore, I’d seen her as a strong leader and a fierce warrior. Now I saw her as a wise and caring queen to whom I would gladly pledge my life.
Side by side, we worked to bring comfort to the wounded enemy soldiers. I quickly cleaned and stitched gashes, set bones in place, and bandaged lacerations. I cast Edmund a thankful smile when he followed us, giving sips of water to those too wounded and weak to fend for themselves.
When Christopher called for us to go, I rose and left the injured men behind even though it pained me to do so. Some would not last long without further medical attention. But I couldn’t delay our entire company, especially since Adelaide had already compromised for me. I’d done all I could and must be content with that.
For a long while, Edmund and I rode silently. In some ways, I was in shock over all I’d seen, never having witnessed so much violence and bloodshed. A part of me was saddened by the destructiveness of men toward each other, the ease with which they could harm and slay one another, along with the bitterness and hatred that could fester.
Edmund’s face, taut with hatred, haunted me. I’d only ever seen him calm and in control of his emotions. So, having witnessed the killing glimmer in his eyes, the bitterness in his voice, and the coldness with which he’d stood by and watched Barnabas maul the captain was so unexpected I wasn’t sure I knew my friend anymore.
I shifted in order to glimpse his profile. The muscles in his jaw and chin were taut and his lips pursed into a tight line. His expression contained a hardness that hadn’t been there before, as if he, too, had been changed by what he’d experienced today.
As if sensing my attention upon him, he dropped his gaze to my face. I was afraid of what I’d see in his eyes and was happy the green radiated with warmth. When he managed a smile, albeit a small one, my happiness expanded.
I smiled in return. “You are not too peeved with me?”
His expression finally gentled. “I’m proud of you. You not only showed great courage in the face of danger, but you also gave love and compassion to the king’s men, who have offered you nothing but threats.”
“‘It is more blessed to give than to receive,’” I said, quoting one of the many Scripture verses Sister Agnes had taught us.
He reached for my hand, and I gladly welcomed his hold, although I couldn’t stop from thinking about the way he’d wound his arm around my waist earlier in the day and the way he’d spoken in my ear, when his intimate tone and breath had caused my insides to tremble.
Our pace was less brutal than yesterday’s, but we still rode with urgency. The cold winter wind had given way to a warmer breeze, and with the brightness of the sun overhead, it was easy to believe spring was drawing nigh, although in the Highlands, the weather could change without notice.
I reclined against him, closed my eyes, and let the rays of rare sunshine warm my face.
Edmund’s fingers laced through mine. “I almost lost you,” he whispered against my temple.
When the captain had dragged me off, I’d thought my fate sealed, that I would have to marry King Ethelwulf’s son. “Thank you for coming after me,” I whispered. “You saved me from having to get married.”
Edmund tensed. “Maribel,” he said, hesitantly. “I spoke with Christopher last night.”
“I like him. He is kind and sweet to Adelaide.”
“He’s also shrewd and knowledgeable.”
“Together they make an impressive ruling team.”
“Then you’re willing to follow their leadership and support their cause?”
“Of course.” Adelaide had more than proven herself to me. After all the risks she’d taken riding into Mercia to rescue me, how could I not follow and support her?
Edmund took a deep breath. “Even if that means you must get married?”
“There is no need,” I replied. “Once I become a nun, I can support Adelaide, perhaps even more so.”
“Maribel,” Edmund said, his voice wistful, almost sad. “After speaking with Christopher and understanding what is at stake, I believe your destiny is intertwined with your sisters. You must work with them, as Sister Katherine indicated, to restore Mercia.”
“I shall do so gladly.”
“Then will you gladly do what you can to keep Adelaide’s reputation and the cause unblemished from any taint of misconduct?”
As I realized what he was asking of me, a twine seemed to wrap around my middle and form a tight knot. “I thought you understood how I felt. And I thought you would support me.”
“I do understand.” He bent in so that his breath tickled the loose strands of my hair at my neck. “But Mercia is suffering. The people are languishing. Perhaps God is calling you to a greater healing purpose as a princess than you can accomplish as a nun.”
I let Edmund’s words settle inside me. I sifted and sorted them. And he pressed no further. As sensitive as always, he knew I needed time to think and pray.
By the end of the long day, when we neared the outer edge of the Highlands, I’d laid to rest my plans and dreams of becoming a nun and physician. Edmund—and Christopher—were right. I might not be able to practice the medicine I loved to the extent I’d always wanted to. But I had to acknowledge I’d been born for something greater—healing a nation that was dying under a dark grip and saving a people trapped and afflicted and scarred with festering wounds.
When we stopped to make camp for the night, I spent the last of the daylight hours doctoring those who’d been injured in the battle. I was nearly out of my healing lotion by the time I approached Edmund where he helped to roast the prey Sheba had caught, along with a buck one of the expert bowmen had shot.
The food rations Edmund and I had split earlier in the day hadn’t been nearly enough to satisfy the rumble of hunger in my belly. And now the smoky waft of roasting meat beckoned me.
“Your turn,” I said, lifting my small crock. With Darien yet weak from his injuries, surely Adelaide couldn’t object to my tending to Edmund’s wounds—at least not tonight.
“I am faring well enough.” In the twilight, his lean but wiry frame stood out against the backdrop of the dark hills. His windswept hair and unshaven face lent him a ruggedness that was different, though not unpleasant.
“I shall not take no for an answer.” I couldn’t stop from admiring the deftness of his movements and the way his body was built. He was a good-looking man in every way, and my stomach fluttered with a strange desire for him.
At the waywardness of my thoughts and longings, a flush infused my cheeks. Attempting to put on the physician role that would make me impartial to my patients, I tugged him away from the roasting spit he’d put together and made him sit. He didn’t resist as I cleaned the wound on his neck and then tended his shoulder. I worked in silence, not quite sure how to bring up the issue from earlier and yet knowing he was too kind to push me to talk before I was ready.
As he stood to return to the fire pit, I stopped him with a touch to his arm. “Edmund,” I said softly, the darkness of the oncoming evening giving us some privacy. “I am prepared to accept a new future.”
He hesitated. “Are you certain?”
I nodded. “I shall miss the life I thought I would have. But if this is what God desires, then He will help me find contentment.”
Edmund searched my face. When his shoulders slumped a moment later, I guessed he hadn’t found what he’d been looking for. I wanted to apologiz
e, but I had no idea for what.
“Am I making the right choice, Edmund?” I asked, as uncertainty rushed in.
“I wish we had the freedom to make whatever decisions we wanted,” he replied. “But sometimes life chooses a course for us, and then we must make the best of what we’re given.”
“Do you not desire to marry me, then?” I’d assumed he was willing, had perhaps even wanted it. Had I read more into his words and actions than he’d intended? Was it possible he was marrying me out of obligation too?
“I’d hoped you’d learn to love me first,” he whispered, almost as if he was embarrassed to say the words. “But since that doesn’t appear likely, I’ll pray that perhaps someday you will.”
“I do love you.” I reached for his hand and clasped it.
He pried his away. “Of course you love me, Maribel, as a friend and my sister. And perhaps you even harbor some affection for me. But you do not love me the way I’ve always loved you.”
Colette’s words came back to haunt me. She will never love you the way you love her. She is too caught up in her own life to think about anyone else. Colette hadn’t believed I’d be able to make Edmund happy. Was she right?
“I shall try, Edmund.” I took hold of his arm, clinging to him. “I shall do all I can to make you happy.”
He didn’t pull away again, but I could sense a distance between us that hadn’t been there before, that perhaps his disappointment had taken up residence in that space.
“Please,” I said. “I could not bear to earn your censure or to have things change between us.”
He sighed and then brushed his free hand across my cheek. “None of this is your fault. Have no fear. We’ll get along as we always have. I promise.”
I smiled up at him, hopeful. “Good. If I must marry, I can think of no one else I would want to spend my life with than you.”
