Gopher.
Today, the man had a green ribbon tied around his cotton-covered junk, and while the man’s junk wasn’t exactly what Judd would call prominent, it still fell in the indecent category. And Gopher knew it.
Sighing and cursing at the same time, Judd grabbed the canned air horn from his glove compartment and got out of his cruiser.
“About time you got here,” Miss Pettymyers greeted him. The woman was eighty if she was a day and had likely been in a sour mood for at least seventy-nine and a half of those years. “You’d darn sure better be here to arrest him.”
Judd hoped the woman meant for him to arrest Gopher and not the longhorn. Either way, he was going to have to do something about both of them.
“You,” Judd snarled, aiming his index finger at Gopher. “Get in the back seat of the cruiser. You’re under arrest.”
Gopher glanced down at his underwear and the satin bow as if seeing them both for the first time. Strange, since he seemed to enjoy letting everyone get a look at them.
“I was just trying to help,” Gopher mumbled and, frowning, he headed toward the cruiser.
“Next time get dressed before you help,” Judd warned him, and he charged forward to deal with the longhorn. “Back up,” he told the others, “and don’t step in that shit.”
Too late. Miss Pettymyers stepped in it, and Judd was sure he hadn’t heard the last of it. She’d likely file a complaint and threaten to sue, which would in turn tie him up even more. For now, he drowned out whatever fuss she made by sounding the air horn. Or rather trying it. Obviously, it was running out of air because it sounded more like a series of belches rather than a blast of noise. Amazingly, though, it was enough to get the bull moving.
All the onlookers except Miss Pettymyers and Gopher cheered Judd, and he didn’t wait around to hear the rest of what the woman had to say. He hurried back to his cruiser and sped off. Not heading toward the police station, though. Judd went in the direction of the ranch.
“Thought you were gonna arrest me,” Gopher said.
“I am, but I’ve got an errand to run first.”
It was hardly standard procedure for a cop to go to a personal meeting with a prisoner in tow, but Judd didn’t want Cleo to have to deal with the social worker. Mrs. Gateman had already made it clear that she didn’t find Cleo suitable, and Judd didn’t think that would be a good thing to have playing into whatever report the woman made about this visit. Of course, Cleo was involved all the way up to her pretty eyeballs, but there was no sense driving that point home to CPS.
As Judd approached the turn to the ranch, he saw a car leaving. Audrey’s. And he muttered another string of those “hells.” He very much wanted to know what she was doing there, but like Gopher, she’d have to wait. Judd just gave Audrey a quick nod and kept on going.
Judd parked under one of the many shade trees on the grounds, and he lowered the windows so Gopher wouldn’t get overheated. “You stay put,” Judd warned him. “So help me if you leave and I have to hunt for you. You will pay. Got that?”
His lecture would have been a whole lot more effective if Gopher hadn’t already fallen asleep. His head was tilted back, his mouth was wide-open and he was snoring. Judd considered waking him up just to repeat his order to stay put, but he didn’t want to waste any more time. He got out and hurried into the house. Where he got another surprise.
Mercy was on the living room sofa having what appeared to be tea with Rosy.
What kind of new level of hell was this? First Audrey, now Mercy. Was there some kind of get-together that Judd hadn’t heard about?
Without explaining why she was there and as if her presence was the most natural thing in the world, Mercy fluttered her fingers in the direction of the kitchen. “The kiddos are back there with Mrs. Gateman,” she said in a whisper. “But your brother Nico had to leave to talk to someone about important rodeo business. He’s sure a cutie-pie.”
Judd ignored that and turned to Rosy. “Where’s Cleo?”
“Outside.” Rosy whispered that, as well. “Poor thing. You can tell she’s all upset.”
Mercy made a concurring sound of agreement and gulped down some tea. Hell. If Cleo was upset, then the meeting hadn’t gone well.
“How’s Kace?” Rosy asked. “Did he really have to go to the ER?”
Judd nodded. “He’s fine.” And he kept it at that.
He didn’t want to get into a long explanation about Silla Sweeny dropping her purse outside the inn and having Estelle Robbin’s poodle, Puffakins, clamp down on some pricey eye-gunk stuff that’d rolled out of the purse. Silla had thrown a hissy fit and Puffakins had bolted, which had started a foot chase down Main Street. A chase that had ended with Kace getting bitten when he tried to stop Puffakins.
Dragging in a long breath, Judd went to the kitchen to find out what was wrong. After the other things that’d gone on—Kace’s injury, the longhorn and Gopher—Judd steeled himself for the worst. But there was no worst going on.
The boys were all seated at the table having cookies and milk. Mrs. Gateman was chowing down with them, and someone must have said something funny because they broke out into laughter. Well, all but Beckham, but even he wasn’t scowling as hard as usual, though he had his phone under the table and appeared to be texting someone.
Judd cleared his throat, causing all of them to look in his direction. That included Mango and Popsicle, who were sitting on the floor as if they were the calmest, best trained pets in the state.
“Leo told us a knock-knock joke,” Mrs. Gateman said to explain the laughter.
Judd was glad Leo had managed to pull that off, and he winked at the boy to let him know he approved. “Kace sends his apologies for being late,” Judd told the woman. “He’s at the ER getting stitches. Nothing serious,” he added when he saw the alarm in Isaac’s eyes, and hers. “He should be here soon.”
“Good. I do need to talk to him.” Mrs. Gateman checked her watch. “Could I have a moment with you first, and then I’ll visit with the boys while we wait for the sheriff?”
When she glanced around as if searching for a place for them to go, Judd motioned for her to follow him to the back porch. The moment they were outside, he glanced around for Cleo and saw her peering out the cabin window. She quickly ducked out of sight.
Since Judd figured Mrs. Gateman was about to dress him down over Kace’s absence, he put his hands on his hips and got started with whatever amount of groveling he had to do.
“I’m sorry Kace isn’t here,” Judd said. “Sorry that I didn’t make it here in time, either. But I want you to know that the boys are always supervised.”
She nodded and, judging from her slightly bunched-up forehead, his comment had surprised her. “Yes, your other brother Nico gave me a copy of the schedule spreadsheet before he left. I think you’ve all done a good job of pitching in, and that’ll go in the report.”
Judd felt his own forehead do some bunching. “But?” he persisted.
Mrs. Gateman sighed. “You know it’s not a slam dunk for your brother Kace to get custody, so we need to try to address any questions that could come up. I’ll include the schedule spreadsheet in my report, but I think it’d also be a good idea to have a statement from you saying that you’ll back up your brother in situations just like this one today. I’d like ones from Nico, Callen and his wife, as well.”
Judd couldn’t see a problem with any of them giving a statement since they were already filling in when needed. However, he did find this somewhat confusing.
“This sounds as if you’re on Kace’s side,” Judd said. “As if you actually believe he should get permanent custody. But you didn’t seem to feel that way with your other visit.”
She didn’t jump to confirm that. “The boys should stay together. None of us dispute that. And right now, there just aren’t a lot of options for that, so I want Kace
to keep temporary custody until something permanent is in place for them. I don’t think it would benefit the kids to be moved to another temporary home, but rest assured when something more suitable is arranged, the boys will be leaving here.”
He wanted to argue with that. Heck, he wanted to argue for Cleo to get the kids, just as Miranda had wanted, but that ship had sailed. Now he’d do a statement or whatever the hell else it took to make sure this worked out for the boys while he also tried to work out a way for them to stay permanently.
“You really think you’d find a better place than this for them?” Judd asked.
“Maybe.” She opened her mouth as if to say more but then closed it. “Maybe,” she repeated, and then quickly added, “I should get back inside and talk some more with the boys.” Mrs. Gateman stepped around him to go back in the house.
Judd stood there a moment, replaying what the social worker had just said. And what she hadn’t said. The maybe was puzzling and made him think she had someone specific in mind. Someone more qualified.
Someone who could take the boys from Cleo.
Well, hell. That put a knot right back in Judd’s stomach. Worse, Cleo was at the window again, and she was clearly waiting for an update. Judd started toward the cabin, and he glanced at his cruiser to make sure Gopher had stayed put.
And Judd practically skidded to a stop.
Mercy was at the back window of the cruiser, and she was leaning in. Judd didn’t have to guess what she was doing because everything in her body language said she was flirting with Gopher. Judd nearly hurried to them to stop it, but then he shrugged. If there was anyone who could accept a ribbon-wearing flasher, it was Mercy. Instead, Judd went to the cabin, and the moment he opened the door, Cleo pulled him inside.
“Did Mrs. Gateman tell you?” Cleo immediately asked.
“You mean about CPS finding a permanent place. Yes, she did. But that could be a long way off. Right now, we just need to focus on making sure Kace keeps temporary custody.”
She was blinking hard when her eyes met his. “Beckham texted me to tell me what they’ve been talking about in the kitchen.” Cleo’s bottom lip trembled a little. “He thinks Mrs. Gateman and her husband might want to foster all three boys.”
Well, hell. The social worker hadn’t volunteered that, but it was likely what those maybes were about.
“God, Judd,” Cleo said, going into his arms. “I’m going to lose them.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
JUDD FROWNED WHEN his phone rang, and he saw the caller ID on his screen. Not the social worker, as he’d hoped. And it wasn’t Cleo, who’d be checking in to see if there’d been a call from Mrs. Gateman. And it wasn’t Kace, who might have filled him in had there indeed been a call about the kids’ possible new foster home.
Instead, it was Mercy.
Since Liberty was still in the squad room and her desk was just across from Judd’s, he didn’t put the call on speaker. He hit the save button on the report he’d been writing and took the call.
“Did you hear the one about the blind hooker?” Mercy asked the moment he answered. As usual, she didn’t wait for the punch line. “You’ve got to hand it to her.” She cackled with laughter. “Get it? Hand it to her.”
“Yeah, I got it,” Judd answered, and while she wouldn’t have been able to see it, he didn’t dare crack a smile. She might sense any form of amusement, and he didn’t want to encourage it. At least not until she got some better jokes.
“You’re sure you don’t mind me seeing Gopher?” Mercy asked a moment later. “Because I gotta say, you looked mighty pissed off when you saw me talking to him when he was in your cruiser.”
That image was still crystal clear in his head even though it’d happened two days ago. “Not pissed off. Confused as to why you’d want to spend time with a man who accessorizes his dick and gave himself a rodent nickname.”
“Dick accessories are a personal favorite of mine. Besides, Gopher’s a fun guy.”
Obviously, Mercy and he had a different definition of what constituted fun, and Judd didn’t even want to consider that Mercy’s comment about Gopher could be sexual. The only sex images he wanted in his head right now were of a naked Cleo. Thankfully, his head cooperated with that just fine because at any moment of the day, the sight of her bare ass in his bed popped into his mind. With their crazy work schedules, though, he’d had to do with just the images and not the real deal.
“Gopher’s what I call a misunderstood man,” Mercy went on. “He’s lonely, that’s all.”
“A lonely pervert,” Judd amended. “I’ve arrested him plenty of times.” And since maybe Mercy had some insight into this particular problem, he added, “Any idea what the deal is with him tying up his junk like that?”
“His late wife,” she answered without hesitation. “It was something he did on Christmas morning, birthdays, holidays and such. You know, sort of like a joke.”
Judd frowned and was sorry he’d asked. It was both pitiful and disturbing. Disturbing because again it was likely sexual. Pitiful because maybe Gopher was flashing as some sort of coping behavior.
Well, shit.
Judd hadn’t had a clue about that, and he’d known Gopher for a good chunk of his life. Leave it to an alcoholic former porn star to suss that out. “Do me a favor and try to convince Gopher to get some counseling for that,” he told Mercy.
“I’ll try, but I’ve told him if he wants to flash his dick around that he should flash it to me. He’s got my number in case he wants to send pictures.”
Judd bit off the groan and squeezed his eyes shut a moment, hoping that image didn’t appear in his head. Shit. Too late. It was there. Too bad there wasn’t mental bleach for crap like that.
“Anything yet from that social worker?” Mercy asked, pulling Judd’s attention back to her and onto a subject he preferred over discussing Gopher’s junk.
He’d told Mercy the bare bones of the situation. That Mrs. Gateman might or might not want to foster the boys. According to Beckham, she did indeed want that, though the woman hadn’t actually come out and said that when she’d chatted with them in the kitchen. According to Mrs. Gateman, she was “considering all options.”
It twisted at Judd to think that one of those options could cut Cleo to the bone if she lost the boys. It twisted more that it might have a negative effect on the boys. Beckham had seemed to make a breakthrough with the addition of the puppy, and Judd didn’t want him doing any backsliding. Since he was a backsliding expert, Judd knew what a dark hole that could be.
“Are you okay?” he asked Mercy. Because the image of her crying was crystal clear, too.
“Sure. I’m right as rain now. That other time, you just caught me on the downswing after the breakup with Pudge.”
Yeah, and Judd was troubled that another breakup could do the same. Or worse. Even a “breakup” with Gopher might trigger it. Of course, he couldn’t see Gopher breaking up with a woman. Any woman.
“You do know you can do better than the likes of Gopher?” Judd suggested.
Mercy giggled like a schoolgirl. “Well, I think that’s the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Judd hoped not, but in case it was, he made a mental note to say nice things more often. “Just take care of yourself,” Judd added.
“Right back at you. Hey, what did the dick say to the condom?” Mercy asked. “Cover me. I’m going in.” The last thing Judd heard before she ended the call was Mercy’s earsplitting belly laugh.
Judd put his phone away and finished the report. Since his shift was long over, he was about to head out when his phone rang again. Not Mercy this time, but it was a name he recognized. Crawford Banning. The reporter that Lavinia had been trying to prod into stirring up trouble. Judd might have answered it, just to tell the guy to fuck off, but he let it go to voice mail as the front door opened. Again, it wa
sn’t anyone he wanted to see since it wasn’t Cleo or the social worker.
It was Audrey.
She gave him a tentative smile, her gaze sliding to Liberty and then to Kace’s office, which was empty. “Kace is with the kids?” she asked.
Judd nodded and was thankful that Audrey didn’t know that firsthand because it would have meant she’d been at the ranch again. Cleo was at work so she wouldn’t have had to deal with Audrey, but Judd felt uncomfortable with the way the woman just kept showing up. Maybe she’d always done that. In hindsight, he remembered other times like this when Audrey had just popped in. Other times, like now, when she held up a pink box from Patty Cake’s bakery.
“Chocolate chip cookies,” Audrey explained, giving the box a little rattle. For such a little wiggle of a gesture, it sure seemed to carry lots of weight.
It was like the nookie pie all over again.
Dragging in a heavy breath, Judd collected his things and was about to lead Audrey outside so he could go about setting up some ground rules, but Liberty must have realized what was going on because she mumbled something about the bathroom and the deputy hurried off fast, as if her panties had suddenly caught fire.
“Audrey,” Judd began, but that was as far as he got before her eyes widened, and she shook her head.
“Well, this was a mistake,” she murmured. “I guess since you’re a cop, you didn’t have any trouble seeing through the thin cookie disguise.” She said it with some dry amusement in her tone, but there was enough quiver in her voice that he knew this hurt her.
And Judd hated that. “Audrey—”
But again, she interrupted him. “I had to try. I had to make sure I didn’t have a shot with you. I can see that I don’t. Are you already in love with Cleo?” she asked but then waved that off before he could answer.
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