“What… what did you do to me?” I wheezed.
“I’m helping you to remember. I always try to help you remember… but you never do. No, you never do.”
8
I stood up, shaking my head to orient myself. The scene around me had changed. I was no longer in Lot’s Information center. No, I was standing outside the gates of Lot… only it wasn’t how it normally looked. It didn’t look new exactly, but the damage looked fresh. I looked around, trying to find someone to tell me what the hell was going on when my jaw hit the floor.
Sabastin Callina, my father, stalked back and forth in front of Warthor Ein. Fury was etched in what little of his face I could see behind the mass of bandages that covered nearly his entire body. I knew that beneath those bandages were horrible wounds that would later turn into scars. My father never covered his scars so this must have been from before I was born.
Okay, somehow I was stuck in a scene from the past. How the creepy engineer managed to immerse me in a scene from before I was even born was beyond me, and why he did it was even stranger still. What was he trying to show me?
“Hello!” I shouted, and neither of them turned to look at me. Okay… so they couldn’t hear me. Was this a view only vision? I kicked at the ground absently, and my foot just skidded along the dirt without throwing up a single particle of dust. Awesome.
“Is that what this is really about Warthor?” Sabastin Callina said, his fists curled in fury as he stopped and glared up into Warthor’s face towering a foot over his own.
Warthor swung an arm back, pitching his royal robe onto the ground, and smirked at his former student. “You know I would never hurt you, Sabastin. You are far and away my most favorite student,” Warthor said.
Sabastin’s lip quivered as he placed a single finger to his heart. “I hurt greatly here, Warthor. Explain why it must be my child,” Sabastin said. “Just tell me why.”
I swallowed. My heart beat so loud that I was sure they’d have heard it if they were really there in front of me. Were they talking about me? Was this the conversation where Warthor told my father that his child was going to be Dirge Meilan reborn? This was definitely not a conversation I wanted to hear.
A contemptuous look flashed across Warthor’s face as he spoke. “My dear friend, your child will be a blessing. Will not the time spent in Diana’s womb nourish her as any other? Will her body not be made up of the intermingling of you both?” Warthor reached out and settled a hand awkwardly on Sabastin’s shoulder.
“Diana is part demon. She doesn’t belong to either the Dioscuri or the demon world. Is that why you picked her as the mother?” Sabastin’s voice had a lilt that made me think he was close to crying. I didn’t quite understand it because I’d never seen him upset, not once in my entire life. He was always the stalwart face of calm serenity. Now, though, he was overcome by emotion, switching between rage and sadness so quickly that it made me want to help him. I wasn’t quite sure what to do exactly. I wanted his pain and anger to go away.
“Firstly, I never picked the mother. Do you think I would have chosen your harlot given the choice? I had no choice. Dirge was dying, my dear Sabastin. It was only a matter of time before the power of Shirajirashii destroyed her,” Warthor said.
“That explains the explosion reported by Joshua Landers. So Dirge’s explosion was… intentional?” Sabastin asked and shook his head, suddenly saddened.
“Indeed,” Warthor replied.
“And you both knew this would happen?”
“Yes,” Warthor said, and there was a cold edge to his voice. I knew that edge. It meant he wasn’t telling the whole truth. What was Warthor hiding?
“But all those people caught in the blast… they could have been saved…” my father said, voice barely a squeak.
“They were already dead. Manaka was coming, and he was bringing death. The only reason we were able to beat him was because of Dirge’s instability. If she had been less broken, we would have all died,” Warthor said with a sigh.
“And now that she is dead, you got the gods to bring her back?” Sabastin asked, eyeing his friend for a long time. “I should have known you would try something like this. This is so like you. When will you let things be?”
“When the world stops having so much that needs fixing, I’ll let it be. When traitors like Jiroushou Manaka are dead and buried, I’ll let it be. When the last demon is ground to dust and the last monster is slain, I’ll let it be. Until then, I’ll stop them all, no matter the cost,” Warthor said, shaking his head as though he could not imagine such a world.
“Am I really her father?” Sabastin asked suddenly.
The question came so completely out of nowhere that it seemed to strike Warthor like a physical blow. He looked at his former student, confusion etched into his face. “Do you expect me to say it’s someone other than you?” Warthor asked.
“Warthor…”
“I assure you, she is in every way yours, Storm Eye.”
“You shall never have her, Warthor,” Sabastin said as his face turned from a mix of pain and confusion to one of stalwart determination. It was his battle face. “I know you’ve probably got fifty missions all lined up for her, but you will not take her and throw her at the enemy. She is my child. If she doesn’t wish to help your crazy jihad, I won’t make her.”
I took a step back, my mouth hanging open as my father stared down Warthor Ein. His eyes were blazing and bits of electricity arced along his skin like miniature lightning bolts. He reached forward and poked Warthor in the chest with his index finger. “Is that clear?” he spat.
Was this why no one chased me when I left? Was my father protecting me from the Dioscuri and the council? Was the entire reason Warthor hadn’t thrown me over his shoulder and carried me off to help with his schemes because my father told him no?
I swallowed. If that was true, why did Warthor listen to my father? Warthor was definitely more of a do first, ask forgiveness never type of person. So why would he listen?
“She will come to me on her own accord, Sabastin. The fates have already determined that she will grow incredibly fast, until she has matured to about fourteen. Only then will she age at a normal rate. She will have all her power upon being birthed,” Warthor said with a grin, his eyes sparkling with that blue glint that made me think of a frozen lake daring you to take one step on it so it could shatter and drag you beneath. “Tell me, Sabastin, does Diana still hold a grudge against Dirge? Will she be able to move past it and love her child knowing it is Dirge Meilan reborn? How long do you think it will be before your wife drives her to me?”
Sabastin’s fist lashed out, moving so fast that I scarcely saw it. One moment they were standing there face to face, the next Warthor was reeling backward, clutching his mouth. “You know I am right,” Warthor said, and his voice was almost sad.
“That’s your problem, Warthor. You never give anyone the benefit of the doubt.” My father turned and began to walk away. “You shall never have her. Not now, not ever.”
My father strode into the distance, leaving Warthor alone just beyond the gates of Lot. Warthor sat down on the grass and sighed, putting his face in his hands. “I hope you’re right,” Warthor said softly. “I already failed her once. She deserves better than to be raised by me.”
9
The scene melted in front of me, melting away like ice on a hot day. One moment I was staring at Warthor, and the next I was staring at the engineer’s back as he fiddled with some knobs on Clotho’s control panel.
“Why did you show me that?” I cried, bracing my hand against Lachesis as I tried vainly to pull myself to my feet.
He spun, glaring at me through narrowed eyes. “So you’ve finished the first scene, Miss Callina,” he said with a grin as he stared down at his arm. It was covered with a series of watches, some digital, some not, all set to different times. He showed his arm full of watches to me and grinned again. “We have time for another.”
“Wait… no!” I
screamed as he stepped over and pulled a lever on Lachesis’ main panel. Before I could do anything else, the ground beneath my feet shifted, and I tumbled forward.
When I looked up, I was watching my father, Sabastin Callina, pacing in front of my mother. We were in our home, only none of my stuff was here. Not that I’d had a lot of things to begin with, but still my mother had put some of my artwork from when I was little on the walls. These walls were bare. Was I in the past again? If so, this was going to get old fast.
My mother’s face was that strange mix of stubborn hostility and amusement that she normally wore in front of the other Dioscuri. Her belly was beginning to bulge. How far along was she? Part of me wanted to move closer to them, to touch her tummy, knowing I was inside, but the other part of me wanted to get the hell out of dodge as quickly as possible. If this was when she found out who I was, I wanted to see this conversation even less than the previous one.
Beside her, one of her seventeenth century wooden chairs was lying on its back. Had she thrown it to the ground? My mother loved those chairs because they had wooden lions carved onto the arm rests. Having thrown it was a big deal for her.
“That is what I am telling you, Diana. The child you carry in your belly is Dirge Meilan. Warthor is sure of it. He is not usually wrong,” Sabastin said as he moved to hug his wife, and she stepped away from him, holding one hand out in warning.
“My child… our child is Dirge?” my mother said, eyes open in shock as she ran her hands over her bulging stomach. “This child can’t be Dirge Meilan. She was conceived before Dirge died.”
“It appears ‘The Invincible’ Warthor Ein has a cure for death,” Sabastin replied sarcastically. “Someway, somehow, this is his doing.”
“Do you think… do you really think he erased our child somehow and replaced it with Dirge?” Diana asked staring at the floor.
“That isn’t a question I even want answered,” Sabastin said after a long time. “Do you?”
“No,” Diana said with a scowl, her eyebrows knitting together in an expression that sent a tremor down my spine. But that wasn’t her angry face. It was her thinking over something she didn’t like face. The wind swirled around her, ruffling the edges of her pink dress and giving her hair a windswept look. Like him, she was a master of weather magic. She could create storms that could blot out the sun.
“If anything, we must protect this baby from him. I don’t know what Warthor’s plans are, but his whole life he was taught to hate demons,” Sabastin added, his voice a mixture of regret and sadness.
“We are no longer bound under him Sabastin. You are not still his second in command, as short lived an event as it was,” Diana said as she moved toward him and put her hands around his neck. “If this baby is still what you want... if she is what you want, we will raise her as if she is our own.”
“She is our child, Diana, and we will raise her as such. She is no longer your former lieutenant. Nor is she still your rival. We will show her the love and understanding fitting any child because she is ours. Do you think you can do that?”
“I don’t know,” Diana replied, looking away from him and staring at her feet. “Part of me says that yes, I can. But I know myself, Sabastin. I know how I am. I’ve worried about the kind of mother I would be. It’s obvious I wasn’t cut out for the job, and now you go and tell me that not only will I be a mother, but I’ll be mother to my greatest rival reborn.” She shook her head, tears filling her eyes and spilling down her cheeks. “What if I cannot?”
“I believe in you, Diana,” Sabastin said, reaching out and wrapping his arms around her from behind so his fingers were clasped around her belly. “I believe in you.”
“What will we call her?” Diana whispered, placing her hands over his.
I took a step back and shook my head. My mother, the unbendable, unbreakable Diana Cortez was saying she would try to raise me knowing I was her rival reborn, knowing I may have taken the place of her child.
In that moment, I felt like the worst person in the world. I’d always sort of felt like my mother had held a grudge against me because of who I had been in my former life, but I hadn’t known I’d actually replaced her child. To think that was true and she had still raised me as her own…
It made a tear spill from my eye and drip down my cheek. I wiped it away. I knew vaguely that there was history between Dirge and my mother. I knew they came to blows just hours before the battle that claimed Dirge’s life. What I didn’t know was that not only had my mother been willing to try and get past it for me, but I had taken away her own child. How different would everyone’s lives had been if her real daughter had been born instead?
I wasn’t sure I could do the same thing in her situation. I liked me a good grudge, sure, but it hadn’t been about that really. Regardless of the circumstances, I had replaced her child. My mother was a stronger person than I was to even think about trying.
“Lillim,” my father said. Hearing him call my name startled me so much I almost answered him. Not that it would have mattered because I doubt he would have heard me anyway.
“Ay dios mio.” Diana’s teeth ground together for a moment and she swallowed. “You wish to name her after Dirge Meilan?”
“Yes. It is only fair.” He smirked then and the sight of it made me smile. “Besides, no one ever calls Dirge by her first name. They always just call her by the nickname Dirge.”
“It’s not the worst idea you’ve ever had,” my mother said, rolling the words over her tongue like a piece of sour candy. “Lillim Cortez Callina.”
10
I shook my head as the vision faded. I didn’t know any of it. Then again, how could I have known unless someone told me? When it came to my miraculous upbringing, it wasn’t like my parents had told me what happened… and now I saw why.
“I can’t believe you showed me those scenes!” I growled at the engineer. He was standing so close to me, I could smell tuna fish on his breath. I pushed him backward and he stumbled, wide-eyed. “Those are not things I’m supposed to know! How am I supposed to feel about the fact I might have taken the place of my parents’ real child?”
“What is going on here?” The sound of my mother’s voice shook me to my core.
“N-nothing my lady,” stammered the wrench-wielding, dual-eye-colored engineer.
Apparently, I was not the only one scared of the vicious Diana Cortez. A tremor passed through me as I turned to face my mother who was glaring at the engineer so hard I thought he might actually burst into flames. That actually happened once before.
My mother’s hair was pinned into a tight bun, and she was wearing her favorite kimono. It was white with dark pink clouds on it. Around her waist was a red sash with a bone-handled whip coiled around her left side. Across her back was a long, bone-handled javelin. They were her weapons of power. The ones she used to bend the storms to her will.
Her presence, as unnerving as it was, was not what shocked me. Caleb Oznek was standing next to her with an impetuous smirk on his face. His eyes widened at the sight of me, and for a moment, it looked like he might bolt. Panic filled his eyes, and his mouth opened and closed several times, reminding me of a goldfish.
I had almost forgotten how lovely he was. He was so handsome that looking at him was like watching the sunrise. It wasn’t his high cheekbones or the scars that crisscrossed his cheeks just enough to bring some gruff manliness to his face. It was more how he carried himself, how his clothes clung to his body just so, and in that way, to show off his muscled physique, or how when he laughed, it made my heart flutter and songbirds sing in the trees.
It made me want to run my hands along his chest, made me want to feel his skin pressed against mine. No one in my entire seventeen year life ever made me feel this way before, made me want to leap onto them and never let go. It was a new sensation for me, and that alone made it scary.
“Why am I being told that I have restricted coverage on my daughter’s territory?” my mother said. Her voi
ce was a raging tempest, her eyes an erupting volcano. It was weird because I’d been told she had ordered it herself. So why was she mad? That didn’t make any sense.
“Um… Because you did?” The engineer gulped and glanced around. I think he was hoping someone would save him. I sure as hell wasn’t going to, and I doubted Caleb would either. All things being equal, there were very few people willing to stand up to my mother. While I was one of them, it wasn’t like I was going to go out of my way to do it. She could bend storms to her will. Picture that. She can make a hurricane do her bidding. You don’t mess with someone like that without good reason.
“I have done no such thing. You will resume coverage immediately,” my mother said, her voice filling the room with her authority. I’ve seen her walk into council meetings with that voice and browbeat the councilors into submission.
“Yes, my lady,” the worried engineer said as he hurried off, no doubt, more to get away from us than to resume coverage.
My mother turned to me and very nearly smiled. It was right there below the surface, I was sure of it. “Are you safe, Lillim? I heard you were attacked.”
“I’m fine,” I said, glancing from her to Caleb.
“I heard Grollshanks was going to challenge you,” Caleb said a little too stiffly. I glared at him.
“And you didn’t tell me?” I snapped. “Why? If you had, I could have done something…” If I concentrated on being angry at him, I just might be able to ignore the curve of his lips and how good they had felt pressed against mine.
“I care about you, Lillim. I—” I slapped him before he could finish.
A wry grin appeared on my mother’s face as she watched us. “Perfect,” she cooed. “The two of you can figure out what is going on with all of the recent disturbances. Like why orcs have suddenly started showing up. Orcs are supposed to be dead. You should remind them of that.”
The Lillim Callina Chronicles: Volumes 1-3 Page 27
