Aaron let go first. Tossed his head back and grit his teeth together. Nails raked down the backs of June's thighs. June didn’t stop. The hot smear of cum across their stomachs sent him into a spiral. Pleasure turning to passion. Sanity turning to bursting, white lights behind his eyes. The feeling of his own release so powerful he almost fainted.
June went limp; all the bones turned to jelly in his body. The whiplash of his orgasm dragging him along through a cloud of ecstasy. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard My Chemical Romance singing, which was both hilarious and odd, so he focused the frantic beat of Aaron’s heart to try and bring himself back to reality.
There was a lot to be said about your first time with someone. And while June wanted to believe it was mostly just romantic garbage—he couldn’t help but think fondly of this moment. Coming off the high was almost as good as the high itself. Much more satisfying than he’d expected. Sure, they were inexperienced and kind of dumb, but they both felt good, didn’t they? And they both liked each other…didn’t they?
As if to answer June’s thoughts, Aaron’s hands rubbed against his back. Soothingly. Lovingly. June lifted his head weakly, and Aaron kissed the gentle slope of his temple.
“I can’t feel my toes.” He sighed.
June smirked; eyelids heavy. “That means we did it right.”
“You screamed my name.”
June blinked. He didn’t remember that. In fact, he was almost positive that had been a silent wail.
“No, I didn’t?”
Aaron’s hands slipped up his shoulders and neck, all the way to his cheeks. He smooshed them a little and chuckled at his confusion. “Oh, yeah, you did. The neighbors probably heard.”
Embarrassment jumped like the crickets inside of June. If he could bring his legs back to life he would roll away. All the way to the bathroom to clean up the mess on his stomach and then to the opposite bed so he could pretend to sleep.
Aaron’s fingertips brushed June's silky, black hair from his face. “I liked it… Hearing my name.”
With nothing else to say and no way to escape, June leaned down and bit the column of Aaron’s neck just below his ear. Sucked hard until the guy grunted beneath him. Readjusted his mouth and sucked again, tongue laving at the skin between his teeth. He didn’t stop until Aaron pinched his ass in retaliation.
“Ow, hey! Jerk.”
“You’re biting my sunburn!” Aaron exclaimed, smacking June’s butt over the pinched area. “Come on, let’s go wash this shit off.”
“Fine.” He slipped away, tucked himself back into his boxers, and wobbled to his feet. His legs still felt like they were made of noodles. His stomach muscles ached from the humping motion.
June stopped just a pace away from the bed and looked back at Aaron, sudden thought crossing his mind.
“Hey, do you think we can turn the hall light off and leave the bathroom one on? Or would that be too much?”
Aaron smiled at him, looking totally adorable and glowy with his hair in a mess and his new hickey. He gestured with his thumb toward the window.
“The lamppost outside will be enough if we leave the blinds open.”
“Awesome.”
The consequences of their actions didn’t set in until the early hours of the morning. June sprawled on his side of the bed with Aaron curled up like a cat against his spine. He hadn’t stirred since he’d fallen asleep there, but June—being the early bird he was—stared wide awake at the wall, wondering when things had gotten so complicated.
Aaron Valentine was never supposed to mean this much to him, and he’d made a conscious effort to keep him at arm’s length, so how? How had June barreled through all the warning signs and ended up here? Aaron was a stranger that showed up at his parent’s vacation home. An accident. Sure, it would have been fine to be just friends and hang out over summer, but somehow, he’d caught feelings. A snowflake turned snowball turned avalanche, burying him alive.
What was he supposed to do now? Tell Aaron last night was a mistake and they should never have fooled around? He’d break his heart if he did that. And June didn’t want to break Aaron’s heart. He wanted to hold it securely against his own. Wanted to feel the warmth spread from his fingertips and up his arms. Let it soothe him now that he realized it wasn’t hot enough to burn.
Aaron wasn’t going to hurt June. How could he? With his patience and sweet nature. His ability to forgive and forget.
It was a shame June would inevitably hurt Aaron. One way or another, whether he wanted to or not, this was going to end badly. And while June could cover his own heart in bubble wrap to soften the blow, he couldn’t do anything to help Aaron. He couldn’t warn him or prepare him. Couldn’t stop his searing heat.
Summer was going to end eventually, and so would their time together. Whether or not they had ten seconds or two months left didn’t matter. June had passed the point of no return. The avalanche had caught him. It would hurt all the same.
Unable to lay there alone with his thoughts any longer, June flipped the sheets off his legs and peeled away from Aaron. The guy slept like the dead usually, but the bed was rickety, and June didn't want to wake him just yet. Not until he got a grip. He tiptoed toward the bathroom where his drawstring bag of extra clothes hung on the door. Snagged it and carefully locked himself inside.
He washed his face with cold water, then leaned against the sink, wondering what in the world he was going to do now. Did Aaron expect them to be boyfriends? That was an obvious option, but June felt it would be even more tragic to label their relationship. Why put a name to something that was only going to go up in smoke?
He needed advice.
June dressed hastily. Brushed his teeth and poked his head out of the bathroom to make sure Aaron wasn’t waiting for him, then grabbed his shoes and stepped out of their motel room onto the patio overlooking the small courtyard below. It was still cool, and the sun hadn’t quite broken over the hills yet. Heavy fog rolled off the ocean in the distance. He breathed in the smell of saltwater and coffee from the breakfast room below, closed his eyes, and told himself today was a new day. Tried to place himself back in the same mindset he’d been in yesterday when nothing had mattered. Failed miserably.
Aaron had done so much for June, and June hadn’t done anything in return (unless you count the awkward, wonderful frot session). If that wasn’t a bad omen for their relationship, he didn’t know what was.
A set of old stairs at the end of the corridor led down into the square courtyard where the front lobby was nestled. June followed it, stretching out to touch the soft petals of pink and yellow roses as he passed them. They reminded him briefly of when Aaron had fallen out of the maple tree and into the thorns. And although he was quite fond of the memory, he couldn’t help but think that paled in comparison to the thorns he faced now. He wished he could rewind to that moment when things were simpler.
Down in the motel lobby, there was a desk with a boxy computer and phone for guest use, and although June hated the idea of the receptionist listening in on his conversation, he figured now was as good a time as ever. He dialed Angie’s cell number from muscle memory alone and pressed the receiver to his ear. It rang four times before a groggy voice finally picked up.
“Hullo?”
“Ang, it’s me.” He tapped his fingers against the desk, flinching at how his voice echoed off the terracotta tiled floor. “I did something stupid.”
“Oh, my God, June. Are you at the police station agai—”
“No!” he hissed, hiding his face in his free hand. “I…had sex with Aaron.”
“WHAT!” Angie gasped, and June could hear the springs in her bed as she sat up. “You DID?”
“Shhhuuushuhhhh!” June covered the speaker on the phone, blushing hard even though he knew the people at the front desk couldn’t care less about his scandalous night. “Well, not like…you know…sex, sex. We just fooled around but still. I-I need help.”
“Why in the world, do you need
help?” she asked, voice high. “Congratulations! You’re no longer a virgin.”
“No, no. Still a big fat virgin,” he corrected, thinking that at some point he would have to sit down and have a little chat with her on the dynamics of penetration. “Listen… Angie, it shouldn’t have happened. I can’t do this to him!”
“Why not?” She sounded serious. “You like him…he likes you. I think it’s great.”
“You know why…”
“No. I do not,” Angie chirped. “You deserve to be happy if he makes you happy. If having sex makes you both happy, then why are you freakin’ out?”
“Because…” His voice sounded weak and desperate in his ears. He could only imagine what he sounded like to others. “I…I haven’t even told him.”
Silence.
June hung his head in shame, knowing that of all the times to be a hypocrite this was probably the worst of it. First, he’d made Angie promise not to bring it up, and now here he was. Doing just that. And worst of all, there was nothing he could do to justify his actions because it all boiled down to his selfish nature.
He should have told Aaron a long time ago. And he never should have agreed to go on a date with him, let alone screw around with him, without being upfront and honest. Aaron was one of the most honest people he’d ever met, how could June be so cruel?
All the cheerfulness drained from Angie’s tone. She didn’t sound angry, but very sad. “You’re talking about…the thing we’re not supposed to talk about, right?”
He nodded, then realized she couldn’t see him. “Y-Yeah.”
“Oh, June…” There it was. The disappointment he’d been afraid of.
“I know! I know. It’s really bad. I’m the worst.”
“Why would you let it go this far? June! He likes you.”
His stomach ached with guilt. Of course, Aaron liked him. He’d always liked him; even when June was a complete shithead.
This was difficult. So, so difficult. It always was when he told people, but this time, it felt even worse. This time he’d let it go too far. Things were far beyond personal now. This wasn’t some stranger. This was Aaron. Sensitive, gentle-hearted Aaron.
He didn’t want to hurt Aaron.
“You gotta tell him,” Angie insisted. “Sooner rather than later.”
“I know…”
“Then why did you call me for advice?” she asked like it was the most obvious thing in the world. And really, it was. June just needed to hear her say it.
June leaned back in the chair and sighed, twisted the phone cord around in his finger nervously. He and Aaron had a five-hour drive back to the cabin today, and June wasn’t sure if that would even be enough time. He had so much to explain. So much to get off his chest.
“I don’t want to hurt him…”
“The longer you wait, the harder this is going to be.” Angie must have gotten out of bed now because the sound of a door closed in the background. “He deserves the know what he’s getting himself into.”
“I know…”
“Promise me you’ll tell him.”
He whined softly.
“June…” And that was her mom voice. He was useless against it.
“I promise… But maybe not today, okay? Aaron’s gonna wake up and be all happy and shit, and I don’t want to ruin it.” A poor excuse but June figured it was the least he could do not to ruin the end of their date. Aaron had worked hard, and things were still so fragile and new. He couldn’t drop a bomb like this right now. Right? He would do it once they got back to the cabin. Tomorrow. Probably…
“Soon,” Angie encouraged. “Now I gotta tell you something too.”
June waited.
“I sucked Charlie’s dick in the back of my truck two days ago.”
“Jesus Christ, Angie! NO!” The receptionist shot him a surprised, disapproving look, and he shrunk into his chair. Forced his voice into a whisper and forced that horrific image out of his head. “Why?!”
“Because I wanted to?” Her voice lifted at the end like she remembered it well. “I know you don’t like him, but I do…” There was an unfamiliar softness to her voice June didn’t like.
“Stop, I’m gonna puke!”
“Oh, shut up,” she scolded lightly. “This could be a good thing! You’ve got Aaron, and now I have someone to keep me entertained too.”
That was hardly the case. June didn’t feel like Aaron was keeping him entertained. He felt like Aaron had accidentally run him over with his car, and now he was stuck in his grill along for the ride. June felt completely abolished by Aaron. Obliterated. He’d never met someone who’d torn down his defenses so fast.
Their relationship was nothing like Charlie and Angie’s. She’d met him organically. Worked together in the ice cream shop and got to know each other with normal, social boundaries in place. Aaron had practically fallen out of the sky and into June’s lap. Showing up in the middle of the fucking night, inviting himself in. Destroying the careful web June had surrounded himself in.
“June…” Angie’s voice called to him gently. She was trying to reach that soft spot he had for her, and of course, it was working. “This isn’t the first time I’ve had a summer crush you know… Why you’re so against it?”
He bit his lip, knowing very well his distaste for Charlie went beyond his bland personality and the inability to stand up for himself. June didn't just dislike Charlie. He disliked the fact Angie was moving forward in life while he was stuck spinning his wheels. He felt (irrationally) like he was being left behind.
“Because this is my last summer,” he murmured, feeling uncharacteristically sorry for himself. “And I don’t know what I’m gonna do when it’s over.”
Angie’s silence said a thousand words to him—all things he’d heard time and time again. Things that were supposed to make normal people feel better but did nothing aside from agitating his nerves. Things that strangers had said. Things his family had said. Things he’d even tried to tell himself in the beginning.
“I love you, June,” she said at last. “But let’s not talk about that, okay? Let’s just talk about right now.”
He shook his head down at his lap, wishing that he could disagree with her. She was right, though. She was always right.
“Okay, circling back… You really sucked his dick?”
“I did.”
“Disgusting… How did it happen?”
June managed to get back into their room before Aaron woke; balancing a tray of breakfast foods in his arm and the weight of guilt still heavy on his shoulders. Talking with Angie had soothed him in one way, but made things completely harder in another. She was right about him telling Aaron, but he wanted nothing to do with that conversation. So much so, he almost wished he’d never met Aaron.
He set the tray of food down on the edge of the bed and stood beside it, fiddling with a cup of yogurt he wasn’t convinced he wanted. His appetite was sapped by his stress. It was rather selfish of him to wish he’d never met Aaron before. He felt bad having those kinds of thoughts.
He would be better off having not met me...
Aaron snored softly into the pillows, looking soft and warm. The hickey had darkened since last night and was starkly visible along the side of his neck—surely something everyone they came in contact with today would notice. June sighed, knowing Aaron wasn’t going to regret anything they did last night. That made it even harder.
The truth was, June wouldn’t trade last night for anything except for maybe the chance to fix his wrongdoings so far. If he could trade last night for Aaron’s happiness he would, but other than that…
Like drawn to a magnet, June set the unopened yogurt back on the tray and went to Aaron. Kicked his shoes off at the edge of the bed and crawled into it. Back into the space he’d laid before, only this time facing Aaron. He reached out, nudged the pillow out from between his arms and settled himself into them.
Selfish.
Aaron grunted, brows pinching together and then r
elaxing again as his eyelids fluttered open. June tucked his head into his chest, hand sliding snug around his waist.
“Good morning.”
“Morning.” Aaron’s voice was thick and groggy as he shifted around June. Squeezed a little closer and rested his chin on the top of his head. June nearly heard the gears in his brain turning.
His hands shifted up and down June’s sides, feeling his black T-shirt and the waistband of his shorts. “Did you go somewhere?”
June nodded. “To get breakfast.” He wouldn’t tell Aaron he’d called Angie. That was a conversation he preferred to keep under wraps between them and the stupid, eavesdropping front desk clerk.
Aaron chuckled. “You’re a creature of habit, aren’t you?”
“What?” June blinked up at him, pulling back to see the expression on his face. “What are you talking about?” He had no idea what he expected Aaron to say at a time like this, but it surely wasn’t that. Wasn’t he concerned about last night even a little bit? Or was their relationship really so simple in his mind?
“You always have breakfast,” he explained. “I don’t think you’ve ever missed breakfast, not even once.”
June pouted. Eyes narrowed. “Not even to stay in bed with you.”
“Yet here you are.”
Aaron’s arms tightened around him, hugging him close and breathing him in. June felt like he was being absorbed. Shrinking smaller and smaller until there would be nothing left of him. He shoved his leg between Aaron’s and huffed.
“Should have known you’d be a cuddler.”
Aaron smiled and nodded, not even trying to deny it.
“And just for the record, I haven’t eaten anything yet. So, you’re wrong.”
Actually. June was wrong. Unfortunately, about a lot of things.
Due to Aaron’s sunburn, they opted out of the quick beach trip he’d been hoping for. Which was okay because it meant they got to stay in bed longer. A luxury he hadn’t expected of June. They talked quietly to one another; occasional stolen kiss making his stomach do nervous flips. June’s hand wandered over Aaron’s chest, his arm, and his face with the same gentle tenacity it took to read braille. Soft enough to leave goosebumps in their wake, strong enough to render him helpless.
The Maple Effect Page 27
