Dora shouldn’t have any powers in Hell—she was just a human. When you summon water, it rarely turns into bird shit. It wasn’t his magic that had done any of it. His mother had guided them here!
“I only took a bit of her soul.” Lord Lascher whined.
“You took more than half of it! I spoke to Kahn, and he said she is looking like a good competitor. She has already flayed two demons. I imbued her with my power, but she was never supposed to learn to use it! With a soul intact she wouldn’t have, but now …” Lady Lascher shook her head. “She could be as powerful as me!”
“Take the power back.” Lord Lascher shrugged.
“You know I can’t do that. The judges will notice her weakness.”
“Well, I can’t put her soul back! Only …” Lord Lascher paled and appeared queasy. “Angels can do that, and I’m not dealing with those self-righteous fuckers again.”
“If Kieron loses to her, I’m going to exile you to Earth.” Lady Lascher shot her husband a dark look before storming out of his office.
“Don’t be like that, sweetheart.” Kieron watched his father jump out of his chair and chase after his mother. “We can work this out.” He heard his father call out as he left the office.
Kieron rolled around and sat on the floor, resting his back against the door in defeat. Dora was only here so she could lose to him on Judgement Day.
Half of her soul has been syphoned away! That is why she has been acting so weird lately—my father has been taking her soul.
“So …” Pooey stood in front of him with his hands on his hips. “What are we gunna do now?”
“I don’t know.” He shook his head. Even if he got her soul back, he couldn’t put it back in her. And even if he could, one way or another he’d lose her. She was either going to be exiled to Earth, or he was.
It’s better that she’s herself, wherever she is. I don’t care what happens to me. He nodded. However it turned out, the most important thing was restoring her soul. Dora would be okay anywhere as long as she was herself.
Pooey narrowed his eyes. “What are you smiling about?”
“I’ve just figured out what we’re going to do.”
“Does it involve you saving your own ass?” Pooey’s eyes became slits.
“What? No! We are going to put back Dora’s soul. I mean, wherever she ends up, she needs that right? So, the first thing we’re going to do is get her soul and put it back in her.”
“And what happens on Judgement Day?”
“I dunno. I’ll think of something.”
“Famous last words,” Pooey muttered.
“No matter what happens, she’s better off with her soul, right?”
“Yeah, I guess. Know a lot of angels do ya? I sure as hell don’t.”
“Um, well I met one once. It was before he became an angel, and he’s a bit … different,” Kieron mumbled.
“Different how?”
“Well, he was in limbo for a while. They weren’t certain where he should go. He ended up in Heaven and went up the ranks there, but I guess everyone has a past.”
“I thought they washed your sins away?” Pooey scratched his head and appeared confused.
“Yeah, but … well, let’s just say he needed a thorough scrubbing.”
“Where is he?”
“That’s the hard part. I think he’s in Heaven. Finding him won’t be easy.”
“How’d you meet him?”
“He knew my mother when I was just a demon spawn. He seemed nice though. I think he’d help us.”
“Yeah, if we can find him,” Pooey said. “Okay, we just need to break into an unbreakable vault for Dora’s soul, and then we need to break into Heaven to find someone put it back in her. After that, we need to get them near her on Judgement Day, which is tomorrow morning. Then, we have to work out a way to put the soul back in her without her killing you since she’s probably now as evil as your mother is. Oh, and let’s not forget that we need to stop you both being exiled by the judges, which is a near impossibility as they only answer to Satan himself.” Pooey took a deep breath before continuing. “Easy pie. Good job you have a ninja on your side.”
“We can do this.” Kieron stood up, feeling determined as he opened the cupboard door.
“Yep, ridiculous bravado, that’ll help in the face of impossibility,” Pooey muttered behind him.
Kieron ignored him and stepped into his father’s office. He turned towards the door of the vault and eyed the green aura billowing around it. “Any ideas?” he asked Pooey.
Pooey shrugged and appeared defeated.
“Come on! You got in there before.”
“Yeah, but I’m not some hoofing great pillock am I. You’re way too big to fit through the smoke rings.”
Kieron eyed the green swirling smoke. He knew from experience that touching it would set off wailing alarms, and it hurt like hell. “What about if we make me smaller?”
“You’d need to be pocket-sized. And when I say pocket, I mean mine,” Pooey replied. “You can’t move like I can, so I’ll have to carry you through.”
Kieron eyed Pooey. “You don’t have any pockets.”
“Sure I do.” Pooey lifted his fluffy arm to reveal a pocket in his armpit.
“Oh, eww! No way.” Kieron shook his head in disgust.
“You know it’s the only way,” Pooey said.
“Of all the unholy things in this dimension …” Kieron grumbled as he prepared to cast a shrinking spell. “This is the most disgusting one I’ve ever had to do.” He sighed and cast the spell. “Shortass,” he chanted. The world grew in size around him as he shrank to the size of a thumbnail. He peered up at Pooey, who now looked like a massive, majestic beast from this angle.
“You’re so cute!” Pooey squealed at him.
Kieron put his hands on his hips and scowled.
“Stop it! The cuteness is killing me.” Pooey continued.
“Will you just put me in the damn vault already?” Kieron shouted, but it came out as a squeak.
Pooey scooped him up into his massive paws and patted him on the head. “Who’s a cute, little fella then? Who’s my little cutie? You are, yes you are …” Pooey rubbed him under the chin and made baby noises at him.
“Put me in your fucking pocket, now!” He snapped.
“Aww okay, but you’re still adorable,” Pooey stroked his hair before lifting him towards the pocket under his armpit.
“Yeah, well you stink.” He wished he’d turned off his sense of smell with magic too. “Oh, Hell no! I’m not going in there. It reeks.” He clawed at Pooey’s giant hand, trying to escape the stench as he neared the armpit pocket.
“Don’t be such a wuss,” Pooey said.
“Agh! The smell is killing me. Get it away from me,” he cried as the sweaty pocket in Pooey’s armpit came closer, and the stench almost knocked him out. The pocket was brimming with fluffy fur and dripping with giant drops of sweat.
“Okay, for Satan’s sake,” Pooey muttered. In one swift movement, he lowered his arm and dropped Kieron into a furry fanny pack just under his belly button. “Try this one instead.”
Kieron peered around the new pocket. He hadn’t seen much going in, but at least it didn’t smell as foul as Pooey’s armpit. It was still pretty rank though.
“It smells like ass in here!” He called out, glancing around. He was standing in a cavern of fur.
“It could be worse. Hold on tight. It’s gonna be a bumpy ride,” Pooey said.
“Wha—” He didn’t finish his sentence as he was thrown around inside the pocket, and his head smashed against furry walls when he violently bounced off them.
“Ohh, I’m gonna barf.” He gripped onto the long tendrils of fur with both his hands and braced himself against the inside of the pocket. His stomach turned over several times as he repeatedly spun around and flipped over.
What the hell is Pooey doing, backflips?
Finally, the spinning stopped. He pulled himself upright
on shaky legs, clinging to the fur to keep his balance. The pocket opened, and he inhaled a welcome breath of fresh air as Pooey scooped him out of it and placed him on the floor inside the vault.
Kieron glanced behind him at the closed vault door. It was thick iron with intricate engravings covering every inch of it. “I know how you got through the smoke alarms, but how did you get through a closed door?”
“Mouse hole.” Pooey pointed to the small hole next to the locked door.
“I didn’t know we had mice.”
“You don’t anymore.” Pooey grinned and flashed his teeth.
“Eww,” Kieron managed before casting the spell to grow in size. “Egotisilly!” He closed his eyes as his body returned to normal size and tried to ignore the rank smell hovering around his nostrils. “The inside of your fanny pack reeks!”
“You got off easy,” Pooey grumbled.
“How so?”
“You totally ripped out half my pubes in there, man. Never again!”
Kieron’s stomach flipped over on impulse. “That was your—oh, I’m gonna be sick.”
Pooey shrugged. “Don’t say I didn’t offer you the pit-pocket.” He walked deeper into the vault, picking up random boxes and looking inside them. “What’s her soul look like, anyway?”
“How are we getting out of here?” Kieron ignored his question.
“Same way we got in,” Pooey replied.
“Not a chance.”
“Pit-pocket?”
He groaned and brushed the Pooey pubes off his clothes, which had grown in size with him and were massive tangles of crinkly fur.
“Fine, whatever, I’ll remove my sense of smell before I go in it.” He sighed.
“So where will Dora’s soul be?” Pooey asked.
Kieron scanned the vault. It was a massive room held up by ornate pillars. Mountains of gems, gold and stacks of soul-chips lined both sides of the vault. A golden walkway stretched down the centre of the room. “It could be anywhere,” he said, glancing down the long room to the light at the end of it.
He saw a glowing white light at the end of the room. Something shone brightly on a pedestal in the distance. He squinted to try to see what it was, but it was just a hazy white glow to him.
“What?” Pooey asked. He turned to look in the same direction as Kieron.
“That light,” Kieron said.
“What light?”
“That one.” He pointed in the direction of the white glow.
“I can’t see anything.”
“The glowing thing at the end of the room, you can’t see it?”
“Nah mate, I think I must have flipped you over too many times.”
Kieron frowned and walked towards the illumination. It was definitely glowing.
“Hey wait.” Pooey ran after him. “Be wary of—”
Kieron stepped onto a metal plate embedded in the floor. It sank under his foot and made a loud clicking sound.
“Shit,” Pooey muttered.
“What?”
“Booby traps.”
“Oh, crap.” He spun around as the sound of cogs grinding filled the room in all directions. He peered up to see the roof opening above him. He gulped when a massive black scaly claw with vicious talons broke through the thin gap in the ceiling.
Pooey stared up at it. “I do not want to find out what that is. Let’s get outta here.”
Kieron peered at the glowing light. It was as if it were calling to him. He could feel it. “Wait here.” He told Pooey as he raced down the room towards the light.
“What, under the big black scary thing?” He heard Pooey say incredulously as he left him behind.
He didn’t know why, but he knew he needed the glowing object. He felt connected to it, as if it was his to protect. He couldn’t explain it. He just felt it with every essence of his being.
When he reached the pedestal, he took a quick glance over his shoulder to ensure Pooey was okay. A scaly black arm reached into the room as the ceiling continued to open. Loud growls came from above, emanating from whatever was encased on top of the vault.
Kieron peered down at the glowing object. It was a pile of soul-chips, but they shone with blinding white light. He touched one and felt an overwhelming connection to them.
These must be part of Dora.
Wasting no time, he scooped them all into a nearby gem bag and quickly tied it to his belt. He spun around to see two massive arms hanging through the growing opening in the ceiling. The arms were trying to catch Pooey, who darted around the room with incredible speed to avoid capture.
“Are you okay?” he shouted.
“Hurry the fuck up!” Pooey cried.
He raced down the room towards Pooey and the exit. He grabbed a sword out of a pile of weapons as he ran past it and charged at the left arm of the beast, aiming to cut his way through it. One of its claws snagged Pooey and pinned his little body down on the golden floor. Kieron raised his sword and roared as he raced towards it.
“Demon form!” Pooey reminded him
Kieron growled and shifted while running. Anger and fire rushed through his veins. His horns rose, and his muscle mass grew. He launched himself at the arm holding Pooey down and slashed it with the blade. A wounded yelp echoed from above as the massive arm swiftly retracted back up into the ceiling.
Kieron stared up at the ceiling in surprise.
That was far too easy.
The massive beast had retreated. He jumped when a loud sobbing from above shattered the silence.
“What a fucking wuss,” Pooey said.
Kieron turned around to smile at his small companion. He almost fell on his ass when his eyes met a big brown fluffy face attached to a six-foot tall teddy bear with wicked claws and great abs.
Kieron raised his sword on instinct. “What the hell?”
“What? It’s just me,” the beast said.
“Who?” He waved the sword at it to keep it at a distance.
“I’m Pooey, you idiot! This is my demon form.”
“You turn into a six-foo, fluffy beast on steroids?” He narrowed his eyes at the Pooey beast. Its fangs were massive. “Wait, why were you a cuddly toy at the fair? How could you be enslaved?”
“I have self-esteem issues.” Pooey lowered his big shaggy head as he shrank.
Kieron winced. “Umm, sorry. I didn’t mean t—”
“Shuddup and get in my armpit.” Pooey scowled up at him.
Kieron sighed and prepared to cast a shrinking spell as the sounds of a massive scaly beast could be heard wailing above them.
He glanced at the gem bag tied to his belt. The bag glowed brightly, but Pooey appeared unable to see it. “Fine, but get this over with quickly, or I’ll set your armpit hair on fire.” He grumbled.
Dora frowned at the small golden demon. “You want me to do what?”
“Put this on, sweetie. You can’t compete in that grunge look of yours.” He eyed her ripped tights and torn black dress with distaste. He dramatically flicked blond bangs off his shiny brow. “This is the run up to Judgement Day. All competitors win by votes, honey. If you wanna be in the finals with the high lords, you need to make an impact,” he said, holding up a skin-tight pink onesie and shaking it at her. “You wanna win, don’t you?”
“Not that badly.” She scowled at him.
“Everyone’s going to be dressed in red or black. You need to stand out, make an impression. I’m thinking pretty in pink meets white fluff. You’ll be sweet, sugary and memorable.” The golden demon picked a white fluffy scarf off the rack behind him and held it up against the pink onesie. “If only you were blonde,” he muttered.
Dora narrowed her eyes. “I know what’ll work.” She told him in a calm tone.
“Yes?” He glanced up with hope shining in his eyes.
She shot a fireball at him and burnt the outfit in his hands until it was a blackened rag. “Perfect,” she muttered.
“No! What did you do?”
She pointed a threatenin
g finger at the designer demon. “Get the fuck away from me, man before I burn your ass.”
The demon squealed and ran out of the room. “Fine, lose and be forgotten. See if I care,” he cried as he flounced out of the dressing room.
She picked up the charred remains of the onesie. It was black now with a pattern of faint pink veins that looked like marble. There were holes all over it in random places. She eyed the dressing room for accessories and smiled as she had an idea.
I’ll give them something to remember.
Dora stepped out on to the stage wearing a charcoal and marble-patterned lycra onesie. It had gaping holes burnt all over it, showing a tantalising amount of bare skin. She grinned down at her reflection in the glass stage. The formfitting costume left little to the imagination. She’d twisted her hair up into intricate knots with gold and silver flecks of thread wound through it and decorated her face and bare skin with gold and silver war paint to match it.
She took her place on the contestant’s platform and stood tall while she waited to be called. All around her, the other contestants shifted uncomfortably in their own lacklustre costumes. Especially the one in the yellow feathered bikini and stilettos—The poor guy probably wasn’t used to wearing heels.
After what seemed like years, she was finally free of her cell. She didn’t know how long she’d been in there for, but it had felt like forever. Time had no meaning for her anymore. When they had taken her out of her prison and brought her here, she had been informed she was ready to be judged.
She could barely remember who she had been before the Cave of Sinners. It was all vague thoughts that could be memories or could just have been thoughts. All she knew for certain was that she had to use any opportunity to escape. There was no way she was going back to her cell, and anyone who got in her way was going to die.
The competition had begun. She had already faced two demons and beaten them. She shot a sideways glance at the other competitors. To reach the finals with the high-level demons, she had to kill another contestant today. Her eyes flicked from one contestant to the next. Some were waifish things who were insane for even trying to get into Hell. Others were mean-looking demons with sharp claws and cold fury in their eyes.
Demonic Dora Page 17
