by A. R. Ford
The men exchanged hugs marked by each man pounding the back of the other. Luca hugged Mary more gently, lifting the apple-cheeked woman off the ground until she giggled. Once Mary stood on the ground, he introduced Nyssa to them. “This is Nyssa. She’s been with me for a few months now. Since late September if my memory of the seasons serves me right.”
“Well, hello there!” Mary said in greeting before walking forward to envelope Nyssa in a hug. Just as Luca suspected, there was no reaction. Nyssa’s face was devoid of emotion, eyes fastened on the ground. “What’s wrong with her, Luca?”
“I don’t know, Mary. I hoped you could help me out. She hasn’t said anything, stopped eating, and barely drinks enough to keep her alive. It happened when we went to Arkala,” Luca explained. His eyes fixed on the ground, a foot scuffing at the dirt.
It hurt to admit that he was the cause of it, but it was best to get that out now. Hiding things from Mary would not aid her work with Nyssa. “I, uh, did something I shouldn’t have done. Locked her in a closet, put shackles on her. So I could have a go at Cinnamon.”
“You been fooling with Nyssa too, I suppose?” Mary asked, narrowed eyes on Luca. Jack made the mistake of chuckling. The effort earned him a hard stare from Mary. “I suppose you men think that’s okay. Both of you are jackasses.”
Mary’s soft, wrinkled hand caught Nyssa’s hand. “You come with me, honey. We’ll leave the men to do whatever it is that men do when they get together.”
Luca watched as Mary led her into the cabin. He had no doubt she would ply the girl with gentle words and herbal tea. There was something magical about Mary’s tea. She kept tins of herbs on a shelf near the sink that took Jack a month to get to the cabin. The window revealed enough of the cabin’s interior that he saw Nyssa sit in a chair by the fireplace. Just as he suspected, Mary pushed a mug into her hand.
“You’re awful upset over a girl, Luca,” Jack remarked with a motion toward the rocking chairs. “Let’s sit a spell and let Mary work her magic on the girl.”
They sat without speaking for some time. Luca took in the old barn, the fenced-in garden plot, the outhouse, and the bare tree line on the mountains above them. Wisps of white clouds chased away the grey. Shadows raced across the ground as the sun revealed its welcome presence. “She’s different, Jack. She can tell you things, things most folks don’t want to know.”
“Mary tells me things I’d rather not know at least once a week,” Jack laughed. He pulled a plug of tobacco from the bib of his overalls, cut a piece off with a knife, and offered it to Luca.
Luca declined the tobacco with a shake of his head. “It’s different with Nyssa. She said a gang called Snake Eyes held her captive for months and forced her to gamble for them. She could see what cards other people had in their hands. She told me about the things I’ve done. No one knows that, other than you and a few others from the resistance.”
“So, you’re saying she’s a mind reader of some kind?” A stream of brownish tobacco juice arced from Jack’s lips to the ground a few feet away.
“Something like that.”
“You held her against her will. I know that’s what happened. You and me are alike in that way. We want peace and safety. We protect it with everything in us, even if it takes killin’ a man to do it,” Jack drawled. “Then you started fooling with her. Women ain’t made like us, Luca. That’s where you made your mistake. Sex is sex to us. It’s a need and doesn’t equate with love, unless you find someone like I found Mary. Then it’s different. Your girl’s head is all caught up in emotion, thinking she’s something to you. That’s why Cinnamon hurt her so much.”
The rockers creaked, accentuating the silence that followed. Luca mulled Jack’s words over before speaking. “There has to be more to it than that, Jack. Something else is going on. I don’t know a lot about women, never cared to. Now I feel like I need to know so I can help Nyssa.”
“You gettin’ caught up in her, ain’t you, Luca? That’s what it sounds like to me.”
“Something like that,” Luca rumbled.
The cabin door opened. Mary appeared with Nyssa following. Mary’s bright eyes fixed on Luca before she spoke. “You bring her here next week if there’s no snow on the ground. We’ll talk again. Give her a cup of this at least once a day.” Mary thrust a sack containing herbs into Luca’s hand.
Luca stood up, eyes flicking from Mary to Nyssa. “Did you get her to talk?”
Mary ignored Luca’s question. She turned to Nyssa, cupped the girl’s face, and murmured, “Now you drink that tea like I asked you to, Nyssa. I’ll see you next week so we can talk again.”
Nyssa’s eyes closed, the beginnings of smile tugging at the corners of her lips when Mary kissed her cheek. Luca was surprised when Nyssa hugged Mary.
“Do you know what’s wrong with her?” he asked Mary again. “How can I fix her?”
“Men ain’t got enough blood in their bodies to think with more than one head at a time, Luca. You screwed up big time. You put shackles on her. Locked her in a closet. She cried while you were out there with Cinnamon. I hope the poke was worth it, Luca. You broke her. She’s hiding in her head so things don’t hurt anymore,” Mary replied with an arm around Nyssa’s shoulders.
“She told you that?” his voice rose an octave thinking that Mary heard Nyssa’s voice when it had been denied him all these weeks.
“She showed me, you idiot. Like a moving picture show, right in my head. You should be ashamed of yourself, Luca. A girl this sweet, with this kind of power, and you go and break her.” Mary’s voice was low and hoarse. Brows drawn together emphasized the words as did the finger that pointed and wagged at him.
“What do I have to do to fix her?” Luca growled, as an uncharacteristic ache began in the center of his chest, right where his heart was supposed to be. He thought it died years ago.
“It ain’t that simple. You made her think you were different from the gang that held her hostage. That’s why it hurt so much. Now take her with you. Try loving her back to life instead of rutting like a stud at a mare in heat.” Mary’s words cut Luca deep. She was angry with him.
Luca looked at Mary with his mouth hanging open. Not once had it occurred to him that Nyssa might see him in a positive light or what escaping the gang meant to her. He took Nyssa’s hand, said goodbye to his friends, and found the path toward home. He knew how to put her together again. He just had to work hard and fast.
Chapter 5
Nyssa
At least the knee got his attention. Even the minor success did nothing to draw her out of the darkness. Living that way was easy, actually. Go where he said go. Do what he said do. Unless it meant having him lie over her sweating, thrusting, and groaning.
That would simply never do. She would never share that part of herself with him again.
He grew exasperated and worried. She could see it in his eyes the few times she came back to reality. Good. Let him be filled with the acidic, painful bite of it.
Luca promised to take her to see someone named Mary. He swore Mary could fix her. Nyssa pondered the statement briefly. Why did she need mending? There was nothing wrong with her peaceful, anesthetized world.
Mary’s peaceful energy drew Nyssa in the instant she met her. Away from the man-mountain for a moment, she allowed her mind to run free within the confines of the cabin.
Mary pushed a mug of tea into her hand. The woman encouraged her to drink tea. Mary spoke gently in a voice just above a whisper telling Nyssa all sorts of things about men.
“Sometimes men ain’t got enough sense to find their way out of a wet paper bag,” Mary sighed. “Luca kept you a secret. That tells me he thinks you’re special.”
Nyssa only stared at the woman with wide eyes. No. She was nothing special to Luca. Arkala taught her that much.
“Oh, honey, I wish you’d talk to me. It might help me understand.” Mary took a sip of tea and smiled at her.
It was the first bit of kindness another person had
shown Nyssa in weeks. Luca’s fumbled attempts at benevolence made her suspicious. She couldn’t trust him after what happened.
A sigh fell from Mary’s pursed lips. “Luca says you’re not eating or drinking. And he said you won’t talk. What’s that about?”
Showing was better than telling. Sometimes she showed people things like the dying rose that made Luca roar with fearful rage. A sliver of the past crept from her mind to Mary’s. Images from the past few weeks flickered truth into the woman’s mind. The old woman’s eyes filled with tears.
“He’s done a number on you,” she admitted. They sat in silence while sipping tea. “Luca is a good man at heart. Fighting with the resistance changed him, though. He’s cold and callous for the most part. But there’s a sweet spot in him that he doesn’t share a lot. I think you might have made him think about things. Things he doesn’t want to think about.”
Mary stood up and turned to the sink. She reached overhead for the tins filled with dried herbs. A pinch of one mixed with two pinches of another continued to fill a pouch. “This calms people down. You drink at least a cup a day of this. Maybe it’ll help calm the storm in your mind, Nyssa. You can’t stay there forever.”
Nyssa stood without being asked. She knew the conversation was over. Mary couldn’t fix her. No one could. But the time with the gentle soul soothed some of the worries that kept her caged.
The cabin door opened. She found her way outside. A sense of dread came at the thought of leaving Mary’s peaceful energy. Luca’s hand swallowed hers. Just like always, she had gone from the frying pan into the fire.
*****
Luca
Snow began to fall as they walked home. Big, fluffy flakes that dusted the grass and bushes. The flakes settled on Nyssa’s head until it looked like she wore an alabaster crown.
Luca held on tight to her hand, making sure he didn’t walk ahead of her as was his habit. She stumbled and fell once, a thrill of fear spearing through his gut. He caught her, a hand gentle at her back as he helped her stand. She looked at him, brows drawn together, eyes filled with something he could not read.
Why are you nice to me? The confused whisper flicked through his head, soft as a butterfly’s wings. She put it there, instead of talking. Luca took her chin in one hand, thumb stroking the soft skin of her chin. “Because I should be nicer,” he grumbled. “I’m trying what Mary told me to do.”
They continued to the cabin where he stoked the fire. A pot of water for tea sat near the flames. Potatoes sizzled in grease. The appetizing aroma filled the cabin’s interior. He hoped she would eat tonight.
A faint humming came from Nyssa, the soft notes caressing his ears. He turned to look at her. He smiled to see her feet swinging beneath the chair, fingers twisting one over the other as the humming continued.
She even drank all of the tea he prepared with a pinch of the herbs pushed inside the silver tea infuser traded for in Arkala. At the time he wanted it only as a trinket, failing to see its function. Now it served a noble purpose in the goal to bring Nyssa back.
The meals were taken lately with him begging Nyssa to eat. He changed tactics when the potatoes were crisp and brown.
Nyssa stopped humming when he beckoned for her to join him in the chair sitting at the opposite side of the fireplace. She stood and obediently came to him. With a bit of encouragement, she sat on his lap, head resting against his shoulder.
The humming came to a halt the instant he offered a piece of potato pinched between two fingers. He took the first bite, chewing and swallowing before offering another. Nyssa took it from between his fingers with her lips. A rush of heat filled his groin at the innocent act. A shuddering breath came as she repeated the same process with the second piece of potato.
When the plate was empty, Luca sat it aside. He caressed her face gently, “Thank you for eating. Time for a bath.”
The usual process of lifting her into the tub before washing her hair and body changed. He stripped off and stepped into the tub before beckoning for her to join him. Just as he had inside the cabin, he sat down in the hot water and cradled her body against his. The first touch of his hand on her body made her stiffen, knees drawing against her breasts.
“I won’t hurt you,” he whispered. “Ever.” Nyssa relaxed somewhat although her hands and knees jerked convulsively when his rough, soap-covered hand smoothed over her skin.
That night he could not sleep, aching need throbbing in his groin. That needed to change as well, he reasoned. Instead of roughly mounting her, perhaps he should cajole and court her. Easing fingers between her legs to the silken folds, he teased and caressed until she moaned in her sleep.
His lips found a nipple, sucking gently while the tip of his tongue flicked and teased. Then and only then did he cover her body, caging her with massive arms, pressing the slick tip of his cock against the tight silk he desperately needed. There was no need to force her, that only caused more harm than good. He pushed gently, waiting for the petals to open and welcome him. Her eyes flew open, wide and filled with terror.
Kisses are supposed to ease aggression. At least that’s what Luca had heard. His head lowered, lips brushing gently against hers.
Mistakes. Everyone makes them. Luca felt the impact of his mistake when Nyssa squirmed away from him, knees driving upward. One caught him in the groin. Instant erection eraser. He groaned in agony, hands cupping his testicles. Nyssa curled into a ball against the wall, eyes fixed on him. Her point, or knee, became perfectly clear.
He woke early, and moved to build up the fire before returning to bed. It was not a habit to lie in bed after daylight chased away the darkness. Something had changed after the trip to visit Jack and Mary. The change revolved around the slight form still sleeping in his bed. He slid beneath the blanket, content to watch her. Dark lashes lay against pale skin. A rosy flush colored her cheeks.
Luca’s mind wandered to the recent turn of events. He had never been a bleeding heart or one governed by compassion. Mary’s revelation had rocked him. Seeing the evidence of Nyssa’s fear of him in the bath was all it took to cement his resolve. He would never hurt her again. In any way.
The thing called love was not something he was familiar with. He still wasn’t sure what he felt for Nyssa. Protective, yes. Intense, yes. There was something else he couldn’t put his finger on.
Nyssa stirred at that moment. She rolled onto her back, arms stretching above her head. The back of his hand caressed her cheek. Chocolate eyes blinked several times before opening fully. The flat look was gone for a moment. In its place was fear, a look he had seen many times. He sighed heavily when she moved away from him, knees drawn against her stomach.
“Did you sleep well?” he inquired.
She did not speak. Instead, she watched him for a few moments before sitting up, the blanket clutched to her chest. At least the flat, dead look was gone for now.
The fear was just as unnerving. Given a second chance to make things right with her, Luca considered what could be his next step. He rolled from bed and dressed. Nyssa followed at his heels after pulling on her clothing and boots.
Luca put a pot of water near the fire before filling the skillet with chunks of meat retrieved from the underground larder that kept food cold. The latest bit of meat was from a deer he killed with a bow a few days earlier. The meat sizzled. The water in the pot steamed.
Just like Mary directed him to do, he placed a pinch of the herbal concoction in the tea strainer and dropped it into a mug of hot water. He handed it to Nyssa after it steeped for a few minutes. He was relieved when she drank the tea without question.
The soft humming began again. It was a rhythmic melody that he was unfamiliar with. It seemed more a way for Nyssa to soothe herself than anything.
The next success came he approached with a plate filled with meat sliced in bite-size pieces. “Will you eat something?”
Nyssa gazed curiously at the meat before reaching out to pinch a piece between two fingers. She nibb
led it experimentally. He grinned when she popped it into her mouth. The movement of her jaws suggested she chewed the food. The sound of gagging came a few seconds before she bolted out of the cabin.
Luca stood in the cabin doorway watching as she emptied her stomach on the ground. It was too soon to think all the damage was magically erased with one visit to Mary and a few cups of herbal tea. She paused in front of him, eyes on the ground. He sensed her withdrawing into her mind.
He caught her chin, tipped it upward, and leaned within inches of her face. “You did nothing wrong, Nyssa. Don’t hide inside your mind again. Will you talk to me?”
She shook her head, eyes growing flatter by the moment. He grasped her arm and drew her inside the cabin. Instead of demanding and forcing and taking what he wanted, Luca gave her time. Mary hinted that it might take time to bring her back. He was certain the path would be littered with obstacles. For once, he needed to choose a gentler path.
“You don’t have to talk. Maybe one day soon?” His words brought a nod.
The remainder of the day was spent in familiar tasks. Gathering firewood and picking kale from the garden plot not far from the cabin were the first tasks. Nyssa followed at his side and helped as she always had. They were tired and ready for the evening meal by the time darkness chased away the light.
Nyssa refused food again that evening. She drank tea, sat in the chair, and hummed. Each time he glanced in her direction her eyes were cast downward at the floor. One step forward, two steps back. That night when they lay together in bed she stiffened at his touch. He managed to caress her cheek without suffering personal injury.
“Sleep. We can talk tomorrow.” Nyssa did not respond.
The next morning when Luca woke, he realized Nyssa was gone. He looked in the outhouse, around the cabin, even in the bathhouse. She was nowhere to be found. He paid Jack and Mary a visit only to learn she was not there. Jaw and resolve set, he returned to the cabin where he packed a backpack with essentials. The Bowie knife was sharp. It was the only weapon he would need while tracking her.
